The Things I Cannot Let Go (4)
More than eighty percent of the memories Maxim could recall about his academy days belonged to Theodora. Perhaps all of them did. Any recollection that didn’t include her simply wasn’t worth remembering. And roughly thirty percent of the time he had spent with Theodora had been devoted to honing their swords together. Not a single day passed without them crossing blades. For both Maxim and Theodora, it had long since transcended duty or hobby. It was habit. It was routine. On weekends when leave was permitted, if neither felt like venturing outside, they would shut themselves in the training grounds from dawn till dusk, trading blows. Sometimes they sparred lightly with wooden swords. Other times they faced each other in earnest with blunted live blades. They corrected each other’s flaws, refined what needed refining. As they exchanged swords, their styles began to resemble one another. Just as the more time they shared, the more their personalities seemed to overlap, the more they crossed blades, the more their swordsmanship mirrored each other.
“It would have been nice if you had learned our family’s sword style.”
That was what Theodora had said one day, lying beside him. It was a Sunday morning. Pale sunlight filtered through the gap in the curtains.
“Maybe I should just kidnap you outright and bring you home. How about becoming my son-in-law, Maxi? Then you could join our family’s knight order.”
The affectionate nickname and suggestion carried a playful warmth. Maxim gazed down at Theodora, who was looking up at him with adorable, expectant eyes. He rarely noticed it in daily life, but in his arms, she seemed so small. The realization struck him anew, and he gently brushed her hair aside as he answered.
“Becoming a son-in-law wouldn’t be bad, but…” Maxim gave a shy smile. “I think it would be much better if the two of us lived on our own. I’ll succeed as a knight, and we won’t worry about family names.”
“Yeah. Honestly, I feel the same.”
“Besides, if Father heard you say that, I can only imagine his reaction…”
When Maxim chuckled mischievously, Theodora smiled back and said, “Then I’ll protect you. So, will you be my son-in-law? I wouldn’t mind that at all.”
“If you put it that way, I’ll have to think about it.”
As Maxim stroked her head, Theodora nuzzled into his hand like a cat. The coquettish gesture was so endearing that he pulled her tightly into his embrace. So she would never leave. So their relationship could remain exactly like this.
“I will personally face Vice Commander Maxim Apparte.”
Her voice was ice-cold. Maxim watched as Theodora descended from the platform. The moment she declared she would face him herself, that Sunday morning memory resurfaced. Without realizing it, Maxim found his hand drifting to his chest. The scar that shouldn’t hurt anymore seemed to throb.
“Step forward.”
Maxim walked out slowly. His plated boots clanked against the training ground floor. To keep his hardened resolve from crumbling, to prevent his breathing and rhythm from breaking, he kept adjusting his grip on the hilt. Theodora took position opposite him. She wore only her uniform, no armor, and held the practice sword she usually used in training. The two stared at each other. Yet Maxim could not begin to guess what thoughts were running through her mind right now. Was she remembering even a fraction of those days? Or was that simply his own selfish wish? This damned lingering attachment—he really ought to kill it.
Maxim let out a quiet sigh.
Shing.
Theodora’s blade slid from its sheath. Though the edge had been dulled, Theodora could still cleave mountains and seas with that blunted sword. Maxim drew his own blade in response. His draw was unhurried and produced no sound. He let the sword hang loosely for a moment before gripping it firmly with both hands.
“Rione… the timing, please.”
Theodora turned her head toward the mage and made the request.
“Yes, understood.”
The mage accepted the order without hesitation. Rione Becker glanced at Theodora, then turned her gaze to Maxim. Only then did Maxim notice that the eyes of the other knights were also fixed on him. It felt as though they were silently asking whether he even had the right to cross swords with the Commander. Maxim decided to ignore their stares. The only thing he needed to focus on was himself.
There was no need to ask if they were ready. They knew each other’s swords too well. A chill wind swept across the training ground floor. The sky rumbled as if rain would fall at any moment. The training ground fell deathly silent. When even the wind grew quiet and the trees seemed to hold their breath, the two knights kicked off the ground at the same time.
Maxim’s first strike was an extremely concise vertical cut. The path his steel traced fell as straight and sudden as the first raindrop before a downpour.
Tap.
Like a raindrop striking the back of a hand, the blade slashed straight down. It met Theodora’s diagonally descending sword in midair with a sharp clang—! Sword wind burst outward in a circle around the two knights. Beyond the edge of his slanted blade, Maxim looked at Theodora. He was certain she was looking at him too. Her stormy gray eyes met his golden ones. He couldn’t read them. The complex meaning hidden in that labyrinthine gaze—Maxim could not decipher it.
Tap.
A raindrop fell onto the gauntlet gripping his sword. That was the beginning. Raindrops began to strike Maxim and Theodora. Clang! It was Theodora who broke the deadlock. She shook her sword powerfully and pushed Maxim back. He yielded to her intent and retreated.
“Maxim Apparte.”
“Yes.”
Theodora called his name. Maxim answered in a calm, even voice.
“Even if you manage to last fifteen minutes in this match and remain as a member…” Raindrops slid down Theodora’s cheek. “If I determine that your skill is unworthy of the Vice Commander position, I will immediately strip you of that title.”
Maxim closed his eyes for a moment and readjusted his grip. Rain hammered loudly against his armor. When his eyes opened again, they were steady.
“Understood.”
The moment Maxim’s answer ended, Theodora pressed her lips into a firm line and glared at him. Then, without warning, she closed the distance again. Clang! Maxim quickly raised his sword to block, but he felt the impact reverberate through his palm. Theodora’s sword had grown far stronger than before.
She’s become so much stronger.
Maxim clenched his mouth shut, refusing to let the words escape. Instead, the words he had wanted to say turned into a low groan of exertion under Theodora’s relentless barrage, washed away in the rain.
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Theodora swung her sword. Her blade was fast yet precise, heavy yet decisive, sharp yet refined. Every time her edge collided with his, sword wind exploded alongside the raindrops. Let it go. Maxim told himself. He was parrying strikes coming from every direction. There was no opening for a counterattack. Theodora’s nearly perfected swordsmanship forced him to expend stamina simply by defending. Let it go. Maxim told himself again. If there was no opening, he would have to create one. He forcibly twisted the flow of her seamless offensive.
After deflecting the next vertical cut, I’ll target her ankle.
The sword descended from above his head. Instead of creating distance, Maxim twisted his blade and stepped inside her range. A horrific scraping sound of metal on metal rang out as red sparks flew past his cheek. Maxim quickly withdrew his sword and transitioned into a thrust aimed at her ankle. Theodora pulled her foot back. And the moment she did was the only chance Maxim had to launch his attack.
There was no need for consideration. Worrying about Theodora’s safety would be deception, insult, and arrogance toward her. The sword that had been aiming for her ankle sprang up like a coiled spring, seeking to cut her from below. Theodora blocked the viper-like strike without so much as blinking. Maxim used the rebound to retract his blade and chain into the next cut. The instant he stopped his sword and entered a stalemate, his defeat would be all but certain.
Maxim’s blade danced. At times his sword path looked like a single line, at others like dozens. Attacks that seemed light at first glance all carried lethal sharpness. But even that sword dance was nothing more than a feint to probe her defenses. Let it go. Maxim’s sword gradually grew heavier. The tip that had danced lightly, scattering raindrops, now carried weight and fell together with them. Theodora was following. No—rather than following, she was matching his sword.
Let it go.
Maxim was drawing out his full strength on a razor’s edge. Excluding techniques meant to kill, he was wringing out everything he could. Was he disappointed he hadn’t been able to grasp the former Commander’s sword in advance? At this moment, Maxim didn’t even have the luxury to think of him. The longer their blades remained locked, the more Theodora’s expression hardened. Though it weighed on his mind, Maxim had no choice but to push the thought aside for now.
Theodora squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again. Her gaze held a look of resolve. Thud! Maxim reacted a beat too late to the sudden repulsive force from her sword. He was pushed back, splashing through puddles. He lamented inwardly. A brilliant light was rising from Theodora’s blade. Aura Blade. The supreme technique only the greatest knights could wield now enveloped her sword. The blade in Theodora’s hand emitted a platinum glow that perfectly matched her hair color. Maxim gritted his teeth and corrected his stance. He wasn’t ready to face an Aura Blade yet, but he had no choice but to try.
“...You’re not using it?”
“Huh?”
A stupid sound slipped from Maxim’s mouth. He had never imagined Theodora would speak at a moment like this.
“Aura Blade.”
For an instant, Maxim felt as if he had been struck in the head with a hammer. All this time, Theodora had believed he wasn’t giving his all. Maxim clenched his teeth so hard they creaked. The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth and nose. Let it go. Maxim did not answer her question. Instead, he gripped his sword with an unshakable hand. The accumulated backlash from the previous matches had thrown his mana into chaos, yet his hand remained steady.
“I see.”
Theodora raised her sword high. Maxim wanted to scream that it wasn’t like that, that the situation was nothing like what she thought. But he could offer no excuses. Ignoring the growing ache in his scar, Maxim charged toward the Aura Blade first.
“...Did you really think rushing in like that would change anything?”
Theodora mercilessly knocked his sword aside. Though Maxim was the one swinging and attacking, it was also Maxim who took the full brunt of the damage. His sword had grown sharper and more precise than before, but it was still insufficient against an Aura Blade. Maxim ground his teeth. He began gathering mana in his heart to form his own Aura Blade.
Don’t push yourself.
Then I’ll protect you.
Let it go.
Crash—!
Lightning struck, and thunder roared across the sky. In the end, Maxim could not draw out his Aura Blade. The light faded from Theodora’s sword and vanished. The rain grew heavier. Torrential rain poured down, streaming over Maxim’s and Theodora’s heads and faces.
“In the end, you…”
Maxim stared blankly at the words forming on Theodora’s lips. Lightning flashed again. Her twisted lips returned to their original shape. The pouring rain had turned her beautiful platinum hair into a tangled mess.
Crash—!
Thunder boomed. The sky responded by unleashing an even fiercer downpour.
“Commander, time is up.”
Rione Becker’s voice rang out. Theodora continued to stare at him with those stormy gray eyes.
“Maxim Apparte, you pass.”
Her voice was dry. There was no congratulation, no joy.
“As for the Vice Commander position…” The sound of rain was deafening. Maxim’s vision blurred with rainwater. “I regret to inform you that you will not be reappointed.”
Theodora’s verdict cut through the downpour.
“When you report for duty tomorrow, we will select a new Vice Commander.”
Theodora returned to her original position. Maxim, still dazed, stumbled back into formation among the knights.
“Well done. Starting tomorrow you will begin working with the new members. Since we have all gathered for the glory of the kingdom, I hope you will get along without any unnecessary friction.”
Theodora’s voice sounded exhausted. She ordered them dismissed and returned to the headquarters. The remaining knights offered brief words of congratulations before beginning their descent down the hill path under the pouring rain. Maxim walked unsteadily toward the main building.
“Ugh…!”
Though he hadn’t pushed himself too far, the scar began to burn. The aftermath of attempting to form an Aura Blade must have taken its toll. His legs gave out, and he collapsed to his knees right at the entrance of the main building.
“...Hah…”
Whether it was a groan of physical pain or the agony of facing Theodora’s attitude, an unidentifiable sob leaked from Maxim’s lips.
“...Vice Commander.”
Maxim lifted his head. Christine stood a step behind him, just as soaked by the rain as he was. Rainwater dripped steadily from her golden hair, which refused to lose its color even when wet.
“...Christine.”
“Let me help you.”
Christine’s green eyes were filled with pity. Perhaps because of the rain, they seemed to glisten with moisture. Maxim did not refuse her help. He took the hand she offered and rose to his feet. The rain showed no sign of letting up.