46. Cold War
It was not easy to easily buy the kimbap from the popular restaurant that wasn't in the plan.
Actually, I almost couldn't, but luckily, the waiting list ended with me last.
The problem was that even after getting the waiting number, I had to wait 3 hours.
Anyway, if I went in right now, it would be awkward for both of us.
Instead of that, it might be much better to wait outside for Baek Ah-rin to calm her excitement.
'Yeah... it would be better to just say I bought the kimbap but was late.'
I thought it was fortunate.
And then I stopped by the pharmacy and bought painkillers.
Thud.
I poured the blue liquid gel pills into my mouth and swallowed them.
Eating medicine without water is familiar.
"Haa..."
I need this headache to go away soon so I can make normal judgments.
This pain that feels like having a soldering iron pressed to my forehead is clouding my judgment.
I lay down in the car.
The clear sky was going somewhere, and it seemed like it would rain soon.
Squelch. Gray clouds were rushing over me mindlessly.
"It looks like it's going to rain."
Drip.
As expected.
Rain started hitting the car's roof.
I heard the island's weather was quite changeable, but I didn't expect it to be this changeable.
Drip drip.
The sound of rain gradually occupied the quiet space, and now it's starting to fill the entire space.
I opened the sunroof cover.
Rain was continuously falling from the gray sky.
It didn't seem like it would stop soon.
"Something... doesn't feel good."
I don't know how to face Baek Ah-rin after going back.
Ah-rin probably has the same thought.
"Ah-rin... did she come to our hospital because she likes me?"
I was really stupid.
Was it because her first impression was like a servant girl?
Until a few days ago, she had a stronger image of a good older sister who always listened to me.
The age difference made it even more so.
If I hadn't gone to the army early, I wouldn't have met her at school.
In a way, I should have suspected from the beginning that she came to my hospital as a pay doctor.
Thinking back now, it was too strange.
She didn't come because she was inferior; she came to our hospital.
It wasn't Hanguk University Hospital, but a specialist at a famous place in the provinces... so a place that has a hospital in Seoul too.
In short, it's a doctor who is recognized for her abilities.
The moment I heard that I was opening a clinic and looking for pay doctors, she quit her university hospital and came here.
Normally, they say doing this is a stupid thing.
Honestly, I'm lucky.
Many pay doctors are strange humans who are skilled but have high eyes.
But Ah-rin is my reliable school junior.
A hospital with two specialists.
One of them is an emergency medicine specialist.
In a trauma-handling surgical hospital, nothing is as powerful as that.
I asked out of curiosity.
But she gave a very persuasive story.
She said emergency medicine is too hard.
I was easily persuaded there.
Yeah.
Let's set that aside.
How many years has she endured?
10 years by solar terms.
For 10 years, she never showed her feelings.
She might have been because of the pain she received from her father... but I don't know why.
Her speech is manly.
There was no tail-wagging behavior with some hidden meaning.
She couldn't drink alcohol and didn't like drinking parties much.
She just did the work straight as I told her.
Ah-rin is pretty.
If a man says Ah-rin is not pretty, he's a liar.
'Thinking about it, a stalker even attached.'
That was the first time I saw Ah-rin use a female tone.
It was a strategy to remove him by pretending to be a boyfriend.
Actually, I told her to report to the police, but the police don't respond well to reporting a stalker like they appear on media.
I thought it might be a bit dangerous, but luckily, the stalker was a 20-year-old who blindly believed the proverb "there is no tree that doesn't fall even if hit 10 times" or something.
"No way... noona!! Wait, no? Dating an old man like that...!! Look! I don't like younger guys like you?"
The stalker's reaction was natural.
But Ah-rin's reaction was more memorable than that.
"Who the hell are you to comment on my things!!"
Actually, the stalker didn't run away because of me.
I had a scary face that gave chills.
Like killing intent to kill a person.
And a shout mixed with high and low tones that could tear.
"Hii... hiiik!! Sorry... sorry!!!"
Seeing Ah-rin's killing intent face for the first time, the stalker fled and never came near our hospital again.
"Senior... thank you. Thanks to you, I could chase away the stalker."
"Ah... um... yeah."
I didn't say anything because if I said I chased him away with my power, I'd get scolded.
Anyway, even after that, our relationship didn't change much.
Just senior and junior.
Nothing more or less.
No matter how much overtime I gave, the work hours were much more relaxed than university hospital ER.
To go to central Seoul, it takes over an hour, but it's still a new city in the Seoul metropolitan area.
With her beautiful appearance that even a stalker would attach to, I was sure she had a boyfriend.
I didn't ask if she had a boyfriend.
Because if she doesn't tell, asking about such privacy is rude.
She dressed up femininely, so I assumed she had a boyfriend.
...
Now all the puzzles fit.
Why Ah-rin came to my hospital.
Why she didn't make a boyfriend.
Why she silently fulfilled my requests.
It was because she liked me.
Like waiting stubbornly like her manly speech...
10 years.
After passing, it's short but actually an incredibly long time.
Hiding her feelings of liking me silently next to me for that time... was amazing.
I couldn't have done it.
Why didn't she tell me until now?
If she had said she liked me from the beginning when she came to the hospital, it might have been a little different.
But now it's different.
The Ah-rin now is too good for me.
I'm a divorced man.
With a daughter too.
Conversely, Ah-rin has well-groomed appearance, proper demeanor, and a good job.
A top-grade bride candidate, but I'm a divorced man with a child.
If I want Ah-rin, everyone would curse.
A thief bastard.
Lacking self-awareness.
Anyway, now what should I do?
How should I act towards Ah-rin to get out of this dilemma?
If I pretend not to know, she would think I'm treating myself as stupid.
What if I have a serious conversation?
In the end, if I reject her, Ah-rin will be greatly disappointed.
Her desired choice is only one.
But I can't choose that option.
What should I do?
What exactly should I do.......
Booong.
The phone rings.
It says the kimbap is ready.
I repositioned the chair I had leaned back.
'Yeah. I can't just avoid... I have to confront.'
Yeah.
The situation happened.
It was something that would burst sooner or later no matter what.
Just thinking doesn't solve it.
What I felt while living until now is that avoiding without solving problems solves nothing.
Avoiding only makes the problems to be solved later bigger.
'Somehow it will work out.'
I drove the car to the kimbap shop.
After buying kimbap and returning to the resort, Ah-rin is waiting.
I have to resolve it in the best way possible.
That can't be done with just thinking now.
I just have to trust my instincts.
The instinct to seduce her in a way that suits the situation.
Knock knock knock.
I knocked on Ah-rin's door.
But no response.
"Ah-rin!! I bought kimbap!! Here, kimbap is delicious!!"
Knock knock knock.
I called loudly and knocked on the door, but no response.
Booong.
A message came.
A dry message from Ah-rin.
I stopped knocking.
Yeah.
There must be a lot of thoughts.
She might hate me for rejecting her.
She might not want to see my face.
At times like this, one must give her time alone.
'Understood. Then I won't disturb you.'
I backed off.
The rain was still pouring heavily.
It's evening time.
I texted Ah-rin to eat dinner.
'Today, I want to rest alone in my room.'
Same answer.
...
'She seems really upset......'
But there was nothing I could do.
Because the choice she wanted was one I couldn't choose.
'I have no choice but to wait.'
So, the second day of the trip flew by ridiculously fast.
Third day of the trip.
The rain was pouring even more fiercely.
Like a storm.
Morning.
'Today, I want to rest alone in my room.'
Lunch.
'Today, I want to rest alone in my room.'
...
It seemed like she was about to say she wants to be alone until the airport.
I became a bit uneasy.
Because her attitude didn't change even as time passed.
But I couldn't think of a way to persuade her.
What I could do was one thing.
Effort.
"Baek-seon-saeng...! I bought kimbap again today? It's hung on the door handle, so if you remember, eat it! It's really delicious!!"
"Since you couldn't eat anything from yesterday's lunch, I put snacks and beer in front of the door, so eat them!"
I didn't do low-level things like trying to catch her if she came out.
I just hoped that by showing my efforts, she would open her heart a little.
And in the evening.
The third night's third day when it was still raining heavily.
A message came to Ah-rin.