13. Daughter or Monster? (3)
13. Daughter or Monster? (3)
"Keuheung-"
Honestly, it wasn't to the point of crying, but my emotions welled up so much that tears burst out anyway. Because Kaho was suddenly doing something she'd never done before...
I sniffled and turned my head to look around the room. The room looked so completely different from last week that I couldn't help but grin widely without realizing it.
"Thank you for changing the furniture. It must've been hard to do it in just one day..."
Was it because I'd suddenly burst into tears? Kaho, who'd been at a loss beside me, only let out a thin sigh of relief after seeing the smile spread across my face.
"I changed the furniture a few days ago. After you left... I thought it was time to change it."
"Huh?"
A few days ago? Not after I contacted her? As I looked at her with surprised eyes, Kaho whipped her head away from me and mumbled on.
"If it was uncomfortable, you should've just said so... Crammed up sleeping in that tiny bed..."
"No, I..."
"As long as you like it, that's what matters. From now on, tell me if there's anything uncomfortable."
As soon as she finished speaking, Kaho turned around and left the room. Her tone sounded angry, leaving me momentarily flustered, but...
The moment I noticed the tips of Kaho's ears, turned away from me, were bright red, I realized she wasn't mad at me—she was embarrassed.
Seeing Kaho embarrassed for the first time made my chest tickle, and I nearly teared up again. I felt an impulse to tightly hug that small back...
"......Yes, got it."
Since we weren't close enough for that kind of action yet, I pulled back my outstretched hand and watched Kaho's retreating figure as she moved away from me.
After seeing Kaho enter the Master Bedroom, I turned my head and slowly looked around my changed room.
The desk that had been so low my knees touched it and the small bed I couldn't even stretch out on had been replaced with furniture plenty big enough even for me.
The furniture wasn't in cute, frilly designs for little girls either—it was all clean, simple designs without any extras. Did Kaho pick them out herself?
Forgetting to unpack, I threw myself onto the new bed. Queen size, maybe? It was spacious enough that even spreading my arms wide didn't reach the edges.
The bed was so wide I could roll around on it without issue, making me laugh involuntarily. At this size, two people could sleep comfortably, right?
Like a kid excited over a gift, I rolled around on the bed a few times, then hugged a pillow tight and let out a long sigh.
"Why is she suddenly acting like a completely different person...?"
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't figure out why Kaho was being so nice to me. Did she really only start seeing me as a person after watching me bleed and cry?
Her sudden kindness was more than bewildering—it was downright incomprehensible. Just a few days ago, she'd treated me like a monster...
"Why is she suddenly being nice to that monster...?"
I didn't know the 'reason' why Kaho was treating me kindly, but I knew the 'trigger.' What happened in this place that night was definitely what changed her.
I had no idea what she'd felt that night to start treating me kindly, but...
'Honestly... it feels good...'
Kaho approaching me with kindness felt so good.
She'd come all the way to the advertising shoot to see me, given me helpful advice, and even redecorated my room for me.
Things I'd only dreamed of were happening one after another, leaving me stunned. It felt like receiving all the gifts I'd ever get in life at once.
I'd originally thought I couldn't hate Kaho but would keep my distance, but now I didn't have the resolve to push away this kind version of her.
If Kaho kept being this nice to me...
Couldn't we eventually become a normal mother and daughter?
Eating at tasty restaurants together with Mom, traveling to the sea or overseas together with Mom, shopping together with Mom picking out seasonal clothes...
'I wish... that could happen...'
**
"Miyagi...? Are you asleep...?"
It had been three hours since Miyagi went into her room, but for some reason, there was no sign of her coming out, so I hesitated before carefully knocking on the door.
Knock knock—
I knocked, but no sound came from inside the room. Had she gotten tired unpacking and fallen asleep?
It was about time for dinner, so I thought I should wake her. I slowly turned the doorknob and opened the door.
...As expected, in the middle of the huge bed, Miyagi was curled up asleep like a baby, making me sigh without realizing it.
'I went out of my way to buy such a big bed...'
Why was she sleeping curled up like that, making her look so pitiful?
She hadn't even covered herself properly with the blanket. As I gazed at Miyagi asleep in a ball, dark circles thick under her eyes peeked out despite the makeup.
'...She must've been exhausted enough to fall asleep without removing her makeup.'
Was the room too hot, or was she having a nightmare? Sweat beaded on her pale nape and forehead. Strands of hair damp with sweat clung messily to her cheeks.
I carefully sat on the edge of the bed, and it shook, making Miyagi's eyebrows quiver. I held my breath thinking she'd wake, but luckily, she didn't open her eyes.
Instead, she seemed to fall even deeper into sleep, curling up a bit more like a baby in the womb, letting out soft breaths as she sank into deep slumber.
I slowly reached out, brushing my fingertip against her sweat-damp cheek. Along with the wetting sweat, I felt soft skin and baby-fine fuzz.
'She's still so young.'
Her skin was so smooth it made me think she was still a child. Compared to my own aging skin, hers was no different from a newborn's.
'Since I had Miyagi at 19...'
Thinking about our age difference made me realize I was getting old whether I liked it or not. Realizing my forties were right around the corner brought sighs on their own.
'I used to be this young once, too.'
I poked her baby-like cheek, and Miyagi frowned like it annoyed her. That expression hadn't changed since she was a baby, making me chuckle despite myself.
'If I only saw moments like this, she'd be the daughter I love...'
For some reason, the 'sense of wrongness' I felt every time I saw her as a monster wouldn't go away.
She wasn't disgusting or hateful anymore.
But...
That feeling that she was my daughter but not quite—it still wouldn't fade. That subtle discomfort, like still looking at a monster, lingered.
Why? Why wouldn't this piercing sense of wrongness in my chest, like thorns stabbing every time I saw her face, disappear?
She was so lovable, so cute, yet why did thinking of her as my 'daughter' bring pain like a fishbone stuck in my throat?
'Who... am I seeing you as?'
To forget the pain, I slid the finger pressing her cheek down along her jawline, tracing the line down her slender neck.
Every time I stroked her skin, her body twitched, reminding me of Miyagi from that night. She'd trembled under my touch then, too.
Back then, she was truly lovable, so cute...
Back then, at least, this child had looked like the 'daughter' I loved.
I hadn't felt this damn sense of wrongness.
It probably wouldn't happen again, but if such an opportunity came once more...
Then, I felt like I'd have some certainty about how to treat Miyagi.
**
Time passed—
A week had already gone by since I started living with Kaho.
I'd thought living under the same roof for a week would bring us closer, but... I'd forgotten that both Kaho and I were busy actresses.
My schedule was packed, but Kaho's was no joke either. She was still doing drama filming these days, and appearing on variety shows, keeping her swamped.
I was busy every day with filming and such, coming home late, so most times I got back, Kaho was already asleep or not there.
'...This is different from what I expected.'
Even when we did see each other, it was only early mornings when she left for work, or right before she fell asleep after I got home—never enough time to talk.
If things stayed like this, wouldn't our relationship just stay stuck in place for a whole month? Opportunities like this don't come often...
We barely even talked on the phone as it was—if I missed this chance, who knows when we'd talk. So I had to force some conversation time, but...
'Easier said than done...'
Sigh—
I'd pushed my schedule ahead for once and finished early to come home, but today must've been one of Kaho's late days—the house was empty.
Greeted by empty air instead of Kaho, I sighed deeply as if the ground would cave in and headed to my room. I thought I'd wait a bit for her, but...
"Achoo! Ha... my condition's tanking again..."
The chills creeping over my body from the oncoming body aches made that impossible. I decided to sleep early so I could see Kaho's face when I woke up early tomorrow.
But the moment I opened my eyes in the morning, what greeted me was...
"Ugh... huh...?"
A headache like my skull would shatter...
"And 39.1 degrees...?"
A fever so high it felt like my mind would fly away.