The Crimson Baron
Bathed in the warm morning sunlight, the carriage carrying the four of them rattled energetically toward the territory of the Crimson Baron. Astrid sat on the driver's seat of the jolting carriage, holding the reins with practiced ease.
She slid open the small window between the driver's seat and the cabin to explain the territory to Eliana and Penis.
"The Crimson Baron's fief is located along the Ruby Highway, which is the vital passage to the North," Astrid's voice drifted into the carriage, carried by the wind.
"Thanks to its geographical advantages, this place has long flourished as a hub of trade. It is where southern grain meets northern minerals, fostering a highly developed commercial district. Naturally, it has amassed immense wealth and attracted exceptionally talented individuals."
Inside the carriage, Penis barely glanced at the map, letting out a wide, lazy yawn.
"So it's a land that reeks of money? Hm."
"Indeed. Furthermore, if we secure the support and backing of the Crimson Baron—who was fiercely loyal to the late Duke—it will be of immense help in ensuring My Lady's safe return to Winterfell to inherit the duchy. We can secure not only military reinforcements but also a safe route of passage."
"I see... The Baron shared a special bond with my father, so I am sure he will help me."
Eliana nodded, her eyes shining with hope.
As the carriage entered the heart of the territory, a bustling, lively scene unfolded just as Astrid had described.
"Whoa..."
Jill gasped in admiration as she peered out the window.
Holy crap. This place is like a brand-new metropolis.
It was on a completely different level from the village they had just passed. Shops lined both sides of the wide, sprawling streets, and a massive crowd bustled about, clamoring as they bartered and haggled over goods.
Silk, spices, weapons, livestock—all kinds of goods overflowed the stalls, and the energetic shouts of the merchants penetrated the carriage walls.
If I were still a man, I could've started a business here and made a fortune. But now... all I have left to sell is my own body. Dammit.
Jill bit her lip, swallowed by bitter thoughts.
"It certainly is different. Overflowing with energy."
Penis rested his chin on his hand, observing the outside with mild interest.
"That is not all. Look at the public security."
Following Astrid's nod, they saw well-trained soldiers patrolling various parts of the market. Their gazes were sharp, and their armor was meticulously maintained, gleaming under the sun. Jill, who had been thoroughly disappointed by the corrupt guards taking bribes at the territory's outer gate yesterday, felt a sense of relief upon seeing the orderly system inside.
"The guys at the gate might be rotten, but at least things seem to run properly on the inside. What a relief."
"Indeed. It's proof that the lord is competent. Well, bribe-taking bastards exist everywhere anyway."
Penis shrugged, completely unfazed.
Finally, the carriage arrived in front of the lord's seat of power, Red Moon Castle. The grand fortress, constructed of crimson brick, boasted a majestic presence.
"Halt! State your business!"
The guards stationed at the castle gates crossed their spears, blocking the carriage. Their equipment was far superior to that of the market patrols. Clad in polished plate armor and wielding razor-sharp halberds, they exuded the formidable aura of elite troops.
"Hmm..."
Penis narrowed his eyes slightly as he observed them.
Their gear is excessively good. Far too lavish for the private army of a mere baron.
However, he kept his thoughts to himself and leaned back. It was Astrid's turn to step forward.
Astrid climbed down from the driver's seat, removed her helmet, and offered a proper knightly salute before shouting with dignity.
"Lady Eliana von Winterfell, the rightful heiress of the Winterfell Duchy, has arrived to audience with the Crimson Baron! Open the gates at once and guide us to him!"
The guards' eyes widened at the name Winterfell. They exchanged frantic glances, whispering among themselves, before quickly snapping to attention with gleaming eyes.
"L-Lady Eliana has arrived?! Forgive our insolence!"
"Please wait just a moment! We shall report this to the Baron immediately!"
One of the guards dashed into the castle in a frantic hurry.
Jill let out a sigh of relief.
"Phew, thank goodness. I was worried we'd be turned away at the door. This is going surprisingly smoothly, isn't it?"
"We'll see. Does anything in this world ever go that smoothly?"
Penis smirked, throwing cold water on her optimism.
"Ugh, why do you always have to ruin the mood? You're jinxing us."
Jill pouted and grumbled.
Inside the carriage, Eliana fidgeted nervously, her fingers trembling. Her face was pale. This would be her very first face-to-face meeting with one of her family's vassals since her father's passing. She was consumed by the terrifying dread that he might refuse to recognize her, or worse, side with her treacherous uncle.
Penis sensed her trembling.
Tsk, she's terrified. Well, she was raised as a sheltered greenhouse flower, after all.
For once, he wore a reassuring, brotherly smile and gave Eliana a firm, encouraging pat on the back.
"Shoulders back, Lady. Don't let them intimidate you."
"Ah... Lord Penis..."
"If you hang your head, those lowlifes will look down on you. Walk tall. If anything goes wrong..."
Penis clenched his massive fist and grinned wickedly.
"This big brother of yours will handle everything. Got it?"
Eliana recalled his terrifying, monstrous strength from yesterday, when he had slaughtered the assassins in the forest with his bare hands. Strangely, that savage power felt incredibly reassuring right now.
"Yes...! I will trust you, Lord Penis!"
Life returned to Eliana's eyes. Watching them, Jill felt an odd sense of alienation.
Hmph, whatever. I'm completely useless here... Back when I was a man, I used to be hot stuff too...
She curled up in the corner of the carriage, thoroughly dejected. Ever since she had been designated as a flesh light, her self-esteem had hit rock bottom.
A moment later, the heavy castle gates groaned open, and the guard who had gone to report returned.
"The Baron is expecting you! You may bring the carriage straight in!"
Escorted by the guards, the carriage rolled into the castle grounds. After passing through a wide training field, it came to a halt in front of the main building, and the carriage door was opened.
A line of lavishly dressed nobles and servants stood waiting. At the center of the crowd, a chubby, middle-aged man with a belly as round as a mountain waddled forward, sweating profusely.
Clad in a lavish red coat and adorned with expensive jewelry, he wore a benevolent smile as he bowed deeply toward Eliana.
"Oh! Lady Eliana! You are alive! You have no idea how deeply worried I, Crimson, have been!"
His display of joy was excessively theatrical. Stepping down from the carriage, Penis stared intently at the middle-aged man.
Hmm... His eyes look incredibly shady.
With his beast-like instincts, Penis did not miss the awkward, strained look hidden behind the Baron's smile.
As the Baron prepared to escort the Lady inside, his gaze fell upon Penis and Jill standing nearby, and his brow furrowed.
"Pardon me, but... who might these individuals be, draped in those cloaks?"
The two figures were completely shrouded in cloaks, presenting a bizarre appearance that hardly befitted the entourage of a noble lady. As Eliana hesitated in momentary panic, Astrid swiftly intervened.
"They are My Lady's... manservant and maidservant. They aided us in the forest, and out of gratitude, they have entered her service. Due to certain circumstances, their attire is somewhat... shabby, but we ask for your understanding."
"Ah, servants. Haha, their attire is indeed... quite unique."
The Baron nodded with a forced chuckle. Jill stole a nervous glance at Penis, terrified that he might fly into a rage and cause a scene. Fortunately, Penis was merely scanning the castle interior and the Baron with an amused expression.
Phew, thank goodness. He's actually keeping his temper in check.
Jill let out a silent sigh of relief.
"Come, please step inside! A feast is currently being prepared. Hahaha! I had no idea our timing would align so perfectly."
The Baron laughed boisterously as he led the way. Four knights followed closely behind him.
They were clearly different from ordinary escort knights. Every single movement was highly disciplined, and the aura they exuded was far from ordinary.
Ho?
A spark of intrigue flashed in Penis's eyes. A mere baron commanding warriors of that caliber?
And it doesn't look like they're here to protect the Baron, either.
Things were getting interesting.
"My Lady, this way. I shall escort you to the banquet hall."
Guided by the Baron, the party walked down a long corridor illuminated by brilliant chandeliers, heading toward the banquet hall.
Creeeak.
The heavy doors of the banquet hall swung open, and the group stepped inside.
However, the banquet hall was completely empty.
There was no food on the long tables—not even a single glass of water—and not a single candle was lit.
"Huh...?"
Just as Eliana looked around in confusion—
Slam!
The doors behind them slammed shut. Instantly, dozens of hidden soldiers emerged, pointing their spears and swords to surround the party.
"What is the meaning of this, Baron!"
Astrid drew her sword and shouted.
The Crimson Baron's benevolent smile vanished instantly, replaced by a cowardly, groveling expression as he scrambled backward.
"I-I am sorry, My Lady... I had no choice... It was never my intention for things to turn out like this..."
"Silence, Baron."
One of the four knights standing behind the Baron spoke coldly. From the shadows in the corner of the banquet hall, another knight slowly stepped forward.
A middle-aged knight clad in black armor, with a long scar running across his face.
The moment Astrid saw him, she gasped in sheer horror.
"Y-You...! Vice Commander Roderick! Why are you here?!"
Roderick looked down at Astrid with cold, indifferent eyes.
"It has been a while, Astrid. Are you still chasing after that little girl's coattails?"
"Traitor! How dare you betray the Duke and side with Viscount Valentine!"
Astrid screamed in fury, but Roderick merely sneered.
"Betrayal? Hmph. The one I swore loyalty to was the great Wolf of the North, the late Duke—not some incompetent slip of a girl. The only one fit to rule the North is someone possessing absolute might, like Viscount Valentine."
"Ah..."
Shock washed over Eliana, and she swayed on her feet. The realization that even the Vice Commander of the knights, who had once sworn absolute loyalty to her father, had betrayed them drained all the strength from her legs.
"Eliana!"
Jill quickly caught Eliana, supporting her weight.
Roderick drew his sword and pointed it at Astrid.
"Astrid, my disciple. Out of respect for our past bond, I shall grant you a single chance. Abandon that girl and join us. Do so, and I will spare your life."
"Shut your mouth! To think a piece of trash who threw away his knightly oath was once my mentor... It sickens me!"
Astrid gripped her sword with fierce determination.
"Foolish girl. Then perish."
At Roderick's signal, the soldiers began to close their perimeter.
It was then.
"Man... you talk too much!"
A voice shattered the tense silence, drawing every eye in the room to a single spot.
Penis was stepping forward, casually picking his ear with his pinky finger as if thoroughly bored.
"Seriously. You drag us in here promising a feast, and instead of food, you serve up this load of bullshit?"
He smirked at Roderick and asked:
"Hey. When's dinner?"
The air in the banquet hall instantly froze at Penis's provocation.
Roderick's brow furrowed, his face twisting in displeasure.
"Who the hell are you?"
Penis puffed out his chest as if the answer were painfully obvious.
"Me? I'm Penis."
Then, he jabbed a finger toward Jill, who was standing there dazed.
"And that over there is Jill."
"......"
Roderick was rendered utterly speechless by the sheer absurdity.
Penis and Jill? What kind of vulgar, lowbrow joke was this?
"What kind of nonsense is this?"
As Roderick demanded an explanation in sheer bewilderment, Jill stared at Penis with a look of utter panic.
You crazy bastard... What the hell are you saying?!
Jill screamed internally.
Introducing themselves like that, of all things, in a life-or-death situation!
Yet Penis merely nodded with shameless confidence.
"Yeah, it's total nonsense."
"......"
Roderick's face flushed a furious shade of crimson.
Suppressing his rage, he glared at Penis before turning his gaze back to Eliana.
"My Lady, you certainly keep some... amusing company."
Roderick raised his hand.
"Kill them."
At his command, the soldiers charged forward in unison, spears leveled.