I Have to Hold It In, Lee Chae-yeon
“Chae-yeon!!”
“You’re here?”
“Did you see the professor’s announcement?”
“Yeah, I saw it. Can you believe that? Suddenly moving the assignment deadline up by a whole week.”
Just like most college students, Ju-hee and I started our school day by immediately trash-talking the professor the moment we met.
To be honest, there was no way to quietly let this one slide. The professor had committed an absolute atrocity.
Of course, the original deadline he’d given us was ridiculously long, but still—shortening it by a whole week? This must be what Jung-woo feels like all the time. It’s seriously annoying.
“We have lab today, right?”
“Yep. Lab, then writing up the related report.”
“Ugh, I really hate it. I want to coast through stuff too.”
“Too bad. We’re sophomores now. The days of coasting ended back in freshman year.”
We grabbed coffee—the essential item for any college student—and headed into the lab.
The labs for Oriental Medicine majors are pretty unique. When people think of Oriental Medicine, they usually picture medicinal herbs. And tasting those herbs and making herbal decoctions is exactly what our labs are about.
Today, the usual array of medicinal ingredients greeted me. I’d seen them so much since freshman year that just looking at them now made me sick of them.
-Click!
Whenever I tell people these herbs taste sweet, they all react exactly like Jung-woo just did. I had the same reaction the first time I saw them in freshman year. Who would guess that something that looks so bitter would actually be sweet?
“Flirting with your boyfriend first thing in the morning, huh?”
“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to watch.”
“Like I can help it. It’s fun to watch.”
I have no idea why she complains about it but still insists on watching. Is this what it’s like to be single? Now that I’m not single anymore, I can’t really relate to that feeling.
When you take classes at school, you end up learning all kinds of health-related information. If I looked at Jung-woo through the lens of everything I’ve learned… it was honestly a miracle he was still alive.
He had severe cold hands and feet, terrible night blindness to the point where he couldn’t see anything in the dark, vision of 0.3 and 0.4, and hearing like a man in his forties. All of these symptoms had appeared after his surgery, yet somehow he had made it this far without anything worse happening. It was astonishing.
Practicing social distancing even at home was probably why he never caught it. The reason Jung-woo had never been seriously injured before was likely related to how rarely he left the house. It worried me that he stayed inside so much, but when I thought about his condition, it was probably safer for him that way.
“So your boyfriend just stays at home all the time?”
“He really loves being at home. But he always comes out whenever I ask him to meet up.”
“That means he likes you enough to leave his safe haven. That’s huge.”
The professor entered the lab, so I ended my chat with Jung-woo and focused on the practical work. The good thing about labs was that they kept you awake and usually finished faster than the scheduled time. Ju-hee and I wrapped up quickly again today and headed to the café. We still had an hour and a half until our next class, so we had to kill time here.
“Finals are coming up soon…”
“Winter break after that.”
“I’m going to Gwangju during winter break.”
“Huh?! Why are you coming to Gwangju? Your family isn’t even from there.”
“Did you forget I said I was going to see your boyfriend?”
“Oh, right. You did say that. Are you really coming?”
“Yep!! I’m curious. I only saw him briefly last time. I want to talk to him properly.”
Why was she so eager to see my boyfriend? It was making me feel strangely pressured. Jung-woo didn’t like meeting new people. Even though Seong-woo had said he wanted to meet Ju-hee, I could already picture Jung-woo freezing up and barely being able to speak when they actually met. And I had no idea what kind of questions she might throw at him.
“I’m planning to go on a trip with Jung-woo during winter break.”
“A trip?! Did your dad actually give permission?”
“Mom said it was fine.”
“But Dad didn’t, right?”
“I can win against Dad.”
“You might win against him, but your boyfriend definitely can’t.”
No matter how much Dad opposed it, I was determined to take Jung-woo on a trip. Ever since we started dating, we had been meeting every single day. During the semester, though, we couldn’t meet whenever we wanted. We lived in the same city, yet I still had to deal with this. Going on a trip with Jung-woo would be fun, right? Even regular dates were fun, so a trip would definitely be amazing. I wished break would come soon.
“Your mouth is practically reaching your ears. You’re already that excited?”
“How could I not be? Oh, right. You wouldn’t know since you’re single.”
“I swear I’m going to kill you one day.”
“Do you actually have the confidence to pull that off?”
“Well… no, not really.”
Even while talking with Ju-hee, the urge to message Jung-woo kept bubbling up inside me. But he was probably at school too, attending classes, so I tried to hold back during these hours. I didn’t want to distract him just because I was feeling needy.
“Lately I’ve been wanting to do something a little special with Jung-woo.”
“Something special?”
“Yeah. I mean, everything we do is good, but I want to try something new.”
“Hmm… How about a baseball stadium date? You love baseball.”
“Jung-woo doesn’t like baseball. Wouldn’t he hate it if I asked?”
“Does he actively dislike it, or is he just not interested?”
“He hates crowded places, so he probably just doesn’t like it.”
“Still, you should ask. Your boyfriend likes you a lot, so if you suggest it, don’t you think he’d go?”
I decided to contact him once his classes ended and headed to the lecture hall for my next class. A baseball stadium date… I really did want to try that.
After all my classes were over, I checked Jung-woo’s schedule on the timetable app. He should have just gotten home by now.
“I’m going to call Jung-woo real quick.”
“Sure, go ahead.”
I dialed Jung-woo’s number and held the phone to my ear. His voice came through almost immediately. It didn’t even seem like the phone had rung once.
“Yeoni!! Are you done with school?”
“Yeah. Just finished. Are you home?”
“I just got home.”
“Jung-woo, do you want to go to the baseball stadium with me sometime?”
“The baseball stadium?”
“Yeah. My favorite team has a game coming up. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to go with you.”
“Ummm…”
I could completely understand his hesitant reaction. No matter how much I was the one suggesting it, the stadium wasn’t exactly his kind of place, so of course he’d need to think about it. Still, I really hoped he would say yes.
“I probably won’t fit in with the atmosphere. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay!! I just want to go with you.”
“I haven’t been since elementary school. Let’s go together.”
“Really?! You’re really going with me?”
“Yeah. I want to see you cheering and watch the team you like.”
“Thank you. Honestly, I didn’t think you’d say yes.”
“I’m a little worried about the crowd, but since I’ll be with you, I think it’ll be fine.”
“I’ll stick right next to you the whole time! I won’t let anything happen!!”
There was no one around me who liked baseball, so going to a live game had always been nothing more than a sweet dream. Now that dream was finally becoming reality—and with Jung-woo, no less. How happy could one person be?
“It’s the weekend after next. Let’s go then!!”
“Okay, got it. Sounds fun. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too!! It’s been so long since I’ve been to a live game.”
“Really? I thought you’d been a bunch of times.”
“There was no one around me who liked baseball, so I never got to go.”
“From now on, let’s go together often.”
“You sure that’s okay?”
“I told you. Going with you will be fun. I like anything as long as I’m doing it with you.”
How could he say such sweet things? Just hearing words like that was enough to melt away any irritation I felt. There really is truth to the saying that one kind word can repay a thousand debts.
To go to the baseball stadium with Jung-woo, I needed to prepare a few things. Not supplies or anything like that—I needed to prepare myself.
I have to hold it in, Lee Chae-yeon.
Absolutely do not act like you usually do when watching baseball at the stadium.
This is a baseball date with Jung-woo. Hold it in. No matter what.