Yeoni, You Do It
As soon as I saw Chae-yeon, my body moved before my brain could catch up. I pulled her into a tight hug.
Even though the others were right there and it should have felt awkward, Chae-yeon didn’t mind at all. She welcomed me warmly, gently stroking my hair.
“Hyeong-su-nim, hello.”
“Hey, Su-ho. There are more of you than last time, huh?”
“Ah, that’s Gyeon-woo and Ji-seong. The tall one on the left is Ji-seong, and the slightly shorter one on the right is Gyeon-woo.”
Ji-seong and Gyeon-woo offered light greetings in return to Chae-yeon’s casual hello.
Maybe it was because Chae-yeon had shown up at such an unexpected moment, but I clung to her even closer than usual.
“I didn’t know Yeoni was coming.”
“I figured you’d be finishing up your plans around now and heading home, so I came to meet you.”
“This is the best.”
“Jung-woo, why do you always make us puke up all the food and drinks we just stuffed ourselves with?”
“I’m heading out. Have fun at the second round.”
“Yeah, take care.”
My body was exhausted and I really wanted to go home, but I wanted to spend just a little more time with Chae-yeon before heading back. It would also be rude to just disappear after she came all this way to see me.
“Jung-woo, aren’t you tired?”
“Nope, not tired. I was exhausted a minute ago, but the moment Yeoni showed up, I felt completely fine.”
“You look really tired right now.”
“I’m seriously okay.”
“You’re not pushing yourself, are you?”
Well… I was pushing myself, but I didn’t want to go home like this. I wanted to play with Yeoni for at least another hour.
When I rested my head on Chae-yeon’s shoulder, she lightly tapped my chin with her finger. I finally understood why dogs love having their chins stroked so much.
“Jung-woo, how do I look today?”
“You’re so pretty. Seriously, this is peak Chae-yeon.”
Chae-yeon in her denim jacket and blue shorts was absolute perfection. Had there ever been a more flawless version of her? She was radiating a mature charm I’d never really noticed before.
“Oh, right. That guy named Gyeon-woo.”
“Yeah, what about Gyeon-woo?”
“He was staring at me pretty sharply earlier. Does he hate me or something?”
“Ah, that? Gyeon-woo really likes me. He’s super attached. That’s probably why.”
“What? Is he a rival?”
“If it turned into that kind of situation, it would get a little awkward for me.”
“So there’s been a love triangle going on behind my back this whole time.”
Why are you turning a pure romance story into a trashy drama in one sentence? If even my girlfriend starts seeing it that way, it’ll actually become real.
“You’re not getting stolen from me, right?”
“It’s just the vibe. It’s not actually like that.”
“The way that Gyeon-woo kid looked at me earlier felt pretty sincere for it to be ‘just the vibe.’”
I used to think Chae-yeon’s occasional bursts of jealousy only appeared when the other person was a girl. But seeing her like this… maybe it wasn’t limited to just women?
“Jung-woo, aren’t you cold?”
“Nope, not cold. I’m next to Chae-yeon, after all.”
“It’s getting colder these days, so don’t wear anything too thin. You get cold so easily.”
“Then you should just stay by my side all the time.”
“You want me to skip school and just stick next to you?”
“Yes!!”
“No way. I have to do my own things and still make time to see you.”
For some reason, the way Chae-yeon said my name today sounded strangely unfamiliar. She was clearly calling my name, yet it felt like I was overhearing someone else’s.
“After tomorrow, I won’t be able to see Yeoni for a while again.”
“Can’t be helped. I want to keep seeing you too, but school…”
Every time this happened, the urge to throw everything away and just live with Chae-yeon surged inside me. But that was obviously an impossible choice.
Before we knew it, we had reached the bus stop and were waiting for the bus. Since our houses were in opposite directions and we took different routes, we’d have to part ways the moment we got on. I wanted to stay together just a little longer.
“Yeoni.”
“Yeah, what?”
“Want to wait until the buses stop running and then take a taxi?”
“What about me? Should I take a taxi too?”
“I’ll take you home by taxi first, then go back to my place.”
“How are you going to pay for the taxi? It’s from one end of the city to the other—it’s going to be crazy expensive. You can’t afford that.”
“It’s fine. I get to spend more time with Yeoni.”
“I’m not fine with it.”
Chae-yeon lightly flicked my forehead. I thought she was upset about my suggestion, but she took my hand and pulled me away from the bus stop. We strolled slowly along the sidewalk, savoring the chilly night air.
“Still, it wasn’t a terrible idea.”
“Right?! I’ll take you all the way home by—ow!!”
“If you take a taxi, I’m taking one too.”
“I want to watch you get in the taxi first.”
“Who’s more at risk walking around at night—you or me?”
No matter how unhealthy I was, I was still a guy and she was a girl. Obviously she would be the one in more danger… or so I thought. Yeah. Chae-yeon would probably handle herself just fine.
“Jung-woo, um…”
“Yeah, what?”
“Have you been sleeping well lately?”
“Huh?!”
It wasn’t just any question—it was about my sleep. There was no way I could just brush it off lightly. I had never once told Chae-yeon about my sleeping problems. So how did she…?
“I heard from your aunt. She said you have a sleep disorder.”
“Ah, it’s not that bad these days. I just have trouble sleeping sometimes.”
“Why can’t you sleep?”
“I told you before about the nightmares I had, remember?”
“Yeah, you did.”
“I keep dreaming about waking up in the emergency room after my first surgery.”
When I was with Chae-yeon, I never wanted to bring up my past. It wasn’t something you could just gloss over, and anyone who heard it would inevitably feel weighed down by it. Especially because it was Chae-yeon, I wanted to say it even less. But she was looking at me with an expression that said she wanted to hear it.
“Are you curious?”
“If it’s hard for you to talk about, you don’t have to.”
“Well… I’m doing a lot better now. I can tell you a little.”
Should I tell her everything? Or just some of it?
“It started after I had three surgeries and everything seemed fine. I kept having nightmares.”
“Even during your second and third attempts at the college entrance exam?”
“It was worse back then, probably because of the exam stress. There were weeks where I never slept more than three hours total.”
“That bad?! That’s way too much…”
“That’s why I went to a psychiatric clinic, got counseling, and took medication. Honestly, when I think back on that time, dying seemed like the better option.”
Every single day had felt like hell. Trapped in a space I couldn’t escape no matter what I did, I endured it all without telling a single person. I knew talking about it would probably help, but I was convinced that if I shared my negative state with others, it would infect them too. In the end, I couldn’t hold it in anymore and everything exploded into a huge incident.
“At first it seemed like the medicine was working, but over time it stopped having any effect.”
“So what did you do?”
“I ignored the recommended dosage and took as much as I wanted. I thought it would help more that way.”
“That must have been really hard…”
“I’m okay now. I used to hate talking about any of this, but now it doesn’t bother me.”
“Then… you’re not taking the medicine anymore?”
“I quit. I threw out all the rest.”
“They say it’s hard to quit those kinds of meds. How did you manage?”
“I started writing novels and that’s when I was able to stop. That’s why novels are more important to me than anything else.”
Whenever I decided I had to sleep and couldn’t, I would write a chapter and then fall asleep. Nothing else had ever worked, but writing was different. After writing, my thoughts would organize themselves and my anxious mind would naturally calm down. I eventually decided I’d be fine and tossed the pills in the trash.
After I’d shared a decent amount of my past, Chae-yeon stroked my hair. Her touch felt incredibly… warm.
“You’ve been through a lot, my Jung-woo.”
“Pet me more.”
“It’s really amazing that you overcame something that difficult. It’s not easy to get through that.”
“It’s all thanks to novels. That’s why I’m always grateful to Yong-ju. He showed me his writing and that’s how I started.”
“Yong-ju must be an incredibly precious friend to you.”
“We’ve had fights over creative differences and even gotten to the point where we considered cutting each other off, but he’s a good friend. Really.”
This was the first time I had ever told someone everything about my past. And this was also the first time someone had quietly listened to it all and comforted me endlessly. I was so glad the first person I opened up to was Chae-yeon.
I looked at her. The way she was quietly watching me made it obvious what she wanted. There were probably too many people around for her to do it herself. But that would be no fun.
“Yeoni, you do it.”
“M-me?!”
“Can’t you?”
“W-we’re outside… and there are people around…”
“Those people aren’t paying any attention anyway. Do it. Please?”
“Ugh… haa, fine. Whatever…”
-chu!!
“There. Happy?”
“Yes!! Thank you. I love you, Yeoni.”
“I love you too.”