Don't Try to Hide It
“You’ve gotten so much prettier than before.” “Because you’re cute.”
Even though several days have passed since then, Jung-woo’s voice keeps echoing endlessly in my head. It’s as if he’s speaking right beside me.
Why is that? We were just chatting and hanging out like usual. So why am I like this?
No matter how much I think about it, it’s because of Jung-woo. He said something weird, and that’s why I’m acting this way. Otherwise, none of this makes sense.
“…Yeona. Chae-yeon!!”
“Uh, yeah?!”
“What were you thinking about? I called you, but you didn’t answer.”
While I was lost in thoughts about Jung-woo, Ju-hee’s voice snapped me back to reality.
Ju-hee is the friend I got close to after starting college. We first met during the freshman MT, and we hit it off surprisingly well, so we’ve stayed good friends.
“What were you thinking about?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t tell me… you were thinking about that guy?”
Since Ju-hee is my closest friend at school, I’ve mentioned Jung-woo to her a few times. Not like I was complaining, just casually.
“…No.”
“The way you’re hesitating, it must be true. What happened this time?”
“It wasn’t even anything worth calling an ‘incident.’ It just didn’t feel like the same person I used to know.”
“You said you hadn’t seen him since elementary school. That much time has passed, so of course he’s different.”
Just like Mom and Ju-hee said, I already knew that. Even I’ve changed after growing into an adult without any major incidents, so it’s only natural that Jung-woo looks the way he does now.
But whenever I interact with him while keeping that in mind, I sometimes feel this huge sense of dissonance. Especially when he says weird things like last time.
He never said anything like that when we were kids. So why is he saying it so naturally now?
“Something must’ve happened. Spill it. I need to wake up anyway.”
She looks genuinely interested now. Maybe if I tell her a little, it’ll help clear my head.
“We ran into each other downtown the other day and hung out.”
“Yeah, and then?”
“He told me I hadn’t changed at all except for my looks. So I asked how my appearance had changed.”
“Yeah!! You asked?!”
“He said I’d gotten prettier. Out of nowhere.”
“Whaaaat!!”
What’s with that reaction?
Ju-hee’s sudden outburst drew everyone’s eyes toward us. Seeing her like that makes me feel like I shouldn’t have said anything.
“There’s one more thing…”
“One more?!”
“Yeah. I told you we went to the ice rink, right? After we finished, we went to eat tteokbokki.”
“Yeah!! Don’t tell me he said something weird again there?”
“I burned my tongue eating too fast, and he just looked at me and laughed. Then suddenly he said I was cute.”
“Are you kidding me!! Dude, he must like you!!”
I’ve liked Jung-woo since elementary school, and I still do. Jung-woo probably feels the same. But the kind of “like” Ju-hee is talking about is different from what we have.
Think about it. Back in elementary school, we liked each other as friends. Jung-woo never once called me pretty or cute back then. He only teased me.
“How do you feel about him?”
“He’s a good friend. Since we’ve met again, I want to keep in touch.”
“Was he the only one saying weird stuff? Or did you say something too?”
“I… didn’t.”
“You did.”
“I said I didn’t!! Really.”
“You really didn’t?”
In this strange atmosphere, I remembered that I’d said something similar to what Jung-woo told me. It was just an accident. A complete coincidence.
Yeah, it was his friend’s fault. That guy started saying weird things first and set that kind of mood from the beginning.
If we’d just run into each other and hung out without his friend’s jokes, neither of us would’ve said anything like that.
I want to keep insisting to Ju-hee that I didn’t say anything, but the words won’t come out.
“…I did.”
“Oh? What are you two doing? Are you in the talking stage?”
“What talking stage? It’s not like that.”
“If it’s okay, can you show me your chat logs?”
To prove my innocence, I showed her the messages I’d exchanged with Jung-woo. Ju-hee took my phone and studied it closely before smiling meaningfully.
“So you do have feelings for him?”
“F-feelings?! What feelings?”
“You want to get closer to him.”
“Of course I want to get closer. We’re friends.”
“Chae-yeon, don’t try to hide it. You know I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Isn’t this the kind of conversation friends can have?”
Ju-hee laughed lightly and showed me her own phone. It was her chat with the guy she always hangs out with and jokes around with.
I thought it would be similar to how Jung-woo and I text, but… it was completely different.
Short replies, and the occasional swear word visible here and there. She even leaves him on read sometimes.
“See, Chae-yeon. This is what chatting with a friend looks like.”
“Doesn’t this hurt the other person’s feelings?”
“Huh? How would this hurt anyone’s feelings?”
“You’re texting so half-heartedly.”
“He does the same thing. I do the same thing. What’s there to get upset about?”
“I guess it’s a personality difference. I could never do that.”
“Hey. Take a look at the messages you send me.”
Just like Ju-hee said, I checked our chat history.
I couldn’t deny it even if I wanted to. When I text Ju-hee, I also give short replies and leave her on read sometimes. It’s really different from how I text Jung-woo.
“Still gonna deny it?”
“This is different. It’s just because things are still awkward with him, so it’s hard to text like I do with you.”
“Do you call him often?”
“Not really often. Not every day, but maybe three or four times a week.”
“How long do you talk when you call?”
“Ten minutes? Around that.”
“Just date him already. Stop hanging out with me and go date him instead.”
“Why do you keep pushing this…”
“Didn’t he give you that bracelet as a gift? And the doll too.”
“Yeah, I did get gifts, but it’s not like Jung-woo wanted to give them or anything.”
“Jung-woo? So that’s his name. You say it so softly~”
Ju-hee kept cornering me no matter what I said. I tried my best to escape, but I just kept going in circles.
A way to get out of this situation… Ah, there’s one.
“Jung-woo and I joke around a lot too. We tease each other.”
“How do you tease each other?”
“Like, if I lose a bet, he jokes that I have to beg for one more round. Or we argue about who’s right while talking.”
“Chae-yeon. When you joke and tease each other like that, do you also swear at each other?”
“No, we don’t.”
“We’ve decided to call that the talking stage.”
This girl’s been saying she wants to date lately, but has she gone completely insane? If everything is the talking stage and everything means I have feelings, what am I even supposed to say?
“Spring has finally come for Chae-yeon too.”
“Oh, right. There’s something I want to ask you.”
“Yeah, what is it?”
“What if you were texting a guy friend, but he wasn’t replying because he was texting someone else?”
“Yeah. So?”
“How would you feel?”
“I wouldn’t think anything of it. I’d just assume that’s how it is.”
“Then what about this? You went out to hang out together, but he’s looking at someone else instead of you.”
“That wouldn’t bother me either. If he kept staring, it’d just be creepy.”
I was at a loss for words at how straightforward Ju-hee’s answers were. I thought this would be something we could definitely relate on, but apparently not.
“Wouldn’t that annoy you?”
“Of course it would. If you’re texting or hanging out with me, you should be paying attention to me.”
“Hey, Chae-yeon. Let me ask you one thing. In both situations, the other person was a girl, right?”
“Yeah. They were girls.”
“Chae-yeon.”
“What?”
“You’re jealous. You don’t like it when someone pays attention to another girl while they’re with you.”
“N-no. It was just a coincidence that the other person happened to be a girl both times.”
“Was it really a coincidence?”
Seeing the unreadable expression on Ju-hee’s face, I gave up trying to explain. No matter what I say, she’ll twist it that way anyway. What’s the point?
—Vrrr!! Vrrr!!
“Hello?”
[I’m bored.]
“You always say you’re bored when you call.”
[It’s fun talking to you, so of course I do. What are you doing?]
“I was talking to a friend before class starts.”
[Oh, really? Then I’ll hang up.]
“Huh? No, it’s fine. We can talk.”
[You said you were talking to a friend.]
“It wasn’t an important conversation.”
Ju-hee must’ve heard that, because she frowned. Since I hadn’t said anything wrong, I ignored her reaction and continued the call.
“What are you doing?”
[My last class got canceled, so I came home early to rest.]
“Wow, your last class was canceled? I’m so jealous.”
[Mom keeps saying I look good these days because I go out more.]
“Tell your mom it’s thanks to Chae-yeon that you’re going outside.”
[I have been going out a lot lately. I’ve exceeded my quota.]
“It’s not like you’re doing night shifts. Why would there be a quota for going outside?”
[There is for me.]
“So you’re not going out anymore from now on?”
[I didn’t say I wouldn’t go out if someone asks.]
Jung-woo usually likes staying home, so I’d been a little worried about dragging him outside. But seeing his reaction, I guess I don’t need to worry about that.
[Ah, hold on… Mom just texted me to do something. I have to hang up.]
“Really? Okay. I have to go to class soon anyway, so I should’ve hung up already.”
[I’ll call you after I’m done.]
“You’re actually trying not to hang up now?”
[I promised, remember? Hanging up?]
“Yeah. Talk to you later.”
After ending the short call with Jung-woo, I turned to look at Ju-hee.
Why is she making that face?
“Chae-yeon, your mouth is smiling so hard right now it’s at 11:11.”
“Me? No way.”
“You like talking to him that much? Well, I guess you would. You’re about to start dating him.”
“It’s not like that!!”