Has Anything Changed?
The sudden reaction from Chae-yeon froze both me and Mom in place. It must have been loud enough for even her mom to come running into my room.
“Ch-Chae-yeon?”
“Th-that’s… No. You’re not allowed to look at that.”
“R-really? Then should I just leave it here?”
“A-Auntie?! You don’t have to leave it!”
Mom, deciding it was no big deal, set the old photo album she’d brought on my desk and left. Chae-yeon’s mom seemed to find the whole thing amusing too, because she walked out with a wide grin on her face.
Since I’d already seen it once, I figured it would be fine and reached for the album.
But in that instant, something invisible shot forward and snatched the album right out of my hand.
“Were you about to look?”
“I was curious.”
“Why would you look at it?! Just seeing those pictures gives me goosebumps.”
“Same here.”
“Then why?!”
Well, maybe because I wanted to keep seeing that kind of reaction from her?
A laugh slipped out at the sight of Chae-yeon desperately trying to bury her dark past. Honestly, it was just too cute.
“Fine. I won’t look.”
“I don’t trust you. I’m keeping this.”
“Actually I already looked at it by myself… Ack!!”
“Why did you look?! Why!!”
“Ah, no. Wait! It hurts! I said it hurts!”
I couldn’t hold back that last comment because I wanted to see her flustered. Of course, the price was getting whacked with the album hard enough to raise dust.
It hurt like hell. The muscles she’d built from playing baseball since she was little clearly hadn’t gone anywhere.
“How much did you see?”
“I only looked at the elementary school pictures. I didn’t see anything else.”
“Then you saw everything!! Why would you look, seriously.”
“When I met you again after so long, I couldn’t match the image at all.”
“Who on earth still looks like their elementary school self?”
“Can I say one more thing?”
“What?”
“Your high school graduation photo also… Ack!! It hurts!!”
“Hey, you idiot!! Why did you look at that!!”
“I didn’t even say I looked at it yet!!”
“The fact that you said that means you were about to admit you looked!!”
She’s exactly right. How does she know without me even saying it?
After getting hit one more time for that single comment, Chae-yeon finally calmed down.
That really hurt, by the way. I wasn’t faking it; the pain was genuine. This was the first time I’d ever felt this much pain from being hit by a girl.
“Don’t look.”
“Okay. I won’t look.”
“You’re totally going to look anyway.”
“Oh, right. Want to try the lemon madeleine? I saved some for you.”
“Don’t change the sub… Mmph!!”
“Is it good?”
“Yeah, it’s delicious. You made them well.”
Thank you, Hajin. Thanks to you I managed to calm down Chae-yeon’s rampage.
The lemon madeleines must have really suited her taste, because Chae-yeon munched away without saying another word.
“Are there more?”
“One left. Want it?”
“You need to eat too.”
“Then let’s split it.”
I broke the last lemon madeleine in half, slipped one piece into Chae-yeon’s mouth, and popped the other into my own. Even when I feed her like this she accepts it quietly. This time she reminds me of a baby bird.
Baby bird, squirrel… all I see these days are cute animals.
“If they’re that good, I’ll ask my friend from the writers’ group to make more.”
“No, you don’t have to go that far.”
“Your eyes are literally saying you want more right now.”
“N-no? W-well, if that friend makes them again you’ll eat some too, so I was just thinking I’d get a few then…”
If you’re going to lie, at least do it properly.
How can she lie when she’s being so obvious about it? Using Chae-yeon as the excuse feels a bit much, so maybe I’ll repay Hajin for the bread and casually ask for more. That seems natural enough.
“Oh, right!! So, has anything changed about me?”
“Changed?”
“Yeah!! Can’t you tell right away?”
She asks if anything has changed. Then asks if it isn’t obvious. That obviously means something has changed and it’s visible enough to notice.
What could it be? This situation is triggering some light PTSD.
It feels exactly like I’ve gone back to middle school when I was dating. The moment I answer that something changed, I’m sure everything in front of me will go pitch black.
Wait a second.
But are we even close enough for her to get upset if I don’t notice something about her? We’re just friends.
My brain, desperately trying to find whatever had changed about Chae-yeon, started spinning in a different direction. Maybe people ask things like that even between regular friends.
I’ve never had a female friend since high school, so I have no idea what Chae-yeon’s intention is with that question.
“Jung-woo?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Do you see what changed?”
Right. That’s something I can think about later. Right now the priority is discovering what’s different about Chae-yeon.
Let’s think back to middle school. Even then my senses were basically dead, but I somehow survived and dated anyway. I remember that nine times out of ten, when someone asked if anything had changed, it was about their hairstyle.
“Hair?”
“How has my hair changed?”
“Umm… Waves!! You got waves.”
“Oh, correct!! I tried it for the first time today. It must have turned out well if you noticed so easily.”
“Phew, I’m saved.”
“Huh? What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
Thankfully I managed to pass with the golden answer again this time. I wonder what kind of reaction Chae-yeon would have shown me if I hadn’t noticed.
“But why did you suddenly get waves?”
“Straight hair all the time felt too plain. So I gave it a try.”
“It suits you. You should keep it like that.”
“Really? That’s a relief.”
For a brief moment I thought it felt just like when we were little. Back then Chae-yeon was completely different from now and never cared about her appearance at all. She just hung out with the boys exactly as she was and didn’t mind even if she got messy.
I almost made another huge mistake like last time.
“But I’m curious about something. What do you do when you’re just staying in your room?”
“I write, study if there’s anything to study, watch anime, or read novels.”
“You only have solo hobbies?”
“I like doing things alone. Group activities feel uncomfortable.”
“If you keep that up, are you going to go through all of university alone and graduate alone?”
“Excuse me. I have friends too. It’s not like I don’t have any.”
“You have university friends?!”
When she reacts with such genuine surprise, it stings a little. Is the fact that I have friends in university really that shocking?
“It’s a lie, right?”
“Why would I lie about something like that? And why do you automatically assume it’s a lie?!”
“You really have some?”
“I really do. My friend’s younger sister. When I started university my friend introduced us.”
“Your friend’s younger sister? So it’s a girl.”
“We’re not that close. We just share test information and take some classes together.”
“Do you sit together during lectures?”
“When an even number of us are taking the class I sit alone. When it’s an odd number I sit with them.”
“Oh, I see?”
After that I tried to throw out a different topic, but the reaction that came back was the complete opposite. Was the idea of me having friends really that shocking to her?
“Chae-yeon, Jung-woo. Can you two come out for a second?”
“Okay, got it.”
“Yes, Auntie.”
At Mom’s call I stepped into the living room with Chae-yeon. When we came out, they were watching some old home video they must have dug up from somewhere.
“A-Auntie?!”
“Isn’t it so cute? Such a precious memory.”
“Look at Jung-woo. He hasn’t changed at all from when he was little.”
“Auntie, I’ve changed a lot too.”
“Chae-yeon doesn’t have any of her old face left. That’s a bit of a shame.”
Stuff like this is basically everyday life for me, so I don’t feel any damage. Mom’s always bringing up old stories or showing photos.
But unlike me, Chae-yeon clearly had no immunity. Her face turned bright red and she couldn’t speak properly.
“Wh-why are you watching this!!”
“Why? It’s fun.”
“It’s not fun at all!! If you’re going to watch then do it quietly. Why did you call us out?”
“I called you so you could watch it together.”
If I left her any longer it looked like Chae-yeon’s face would explode, so I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into the room. She must have been incredibly embarrassed, because she was hiding her face behind her long hair.
“I want to go home.”
“Your mom is here. How are you planning to go by yourself?”
“I’ll take a taxi.”
“The fare from here to your house is huge.”
“Why does Auntie suddenly watch something like that and embarrass people? You’re not bothered by it?”
“Well, my mom shows it all the time so I’m used to it.”
Between the strands of hair I caught a glimpse of Chae-yeon’s face burning red.
Just a little more… Should I tease her?
“It really was cute like your mom said.”
“Are you insane?”
“You know how it is. Your own past is horrible, but other people’s pasts are nice to look at.”
“And why are you saying that right in front of me?”
“Maybe I’ll go watch a little more. It was pretty fun.”
“Jung-woo?”
“Chae-yeon, wait here. I’ll just go watch a little mo— Ack!! Aaaack!! It hurts!!”
“Hey, you son of a bitch!!”