Don't You Dare Copy That~
I was lying on the bed, staring at my phone.
The content on the screen was a collection of posts simply about me and Lee Yebin.
I usually skip virtual-marriage streamers because I'm a virtual-marriage villain, but I still checked out a few I never used to watch.
Lately the Dobi Couple is just straight-up ridiculous.
Part of the fun is that I already watched both of them separately, but this is a hate-couple virtual marriage the likes of which I've never seen on stream. It doesn't even feel like virtual marriage anymore—it feels like the real thing.
The hate-couple energy has that industrial-grade hate-couple smell, too.
I'm rooting for them all the way to a real marriage.
Me and Lee Yebin are a real couple? They need to keep the nonsense at a reasonable level.
At this point I seriously think our viewers have some kind of mental health issue. This streamer is genuinely worried about the psychological well-being of his audience.
“Ugh, my head hurts.”
“Something up?”
The crazy girl using my stomach as a personal pillow asked from under me.
“It’s because of you, you brat.”
“Why are you picking a fight all of a sudden? You wanna die? I can just smash my head into your stomach right now.”
“That’s murder. Who smashes someone with a rock for a head?”
“Say one more word. I swear you’ll actually die.”
“Yes ma’am.”
I shut my mouth at Yebin’s murderous warning, but my rebellious spirit was still strong enough that I decided to resist at least once.
“One word.”
“Let’s die today then. Once.”
-Whoosh!
-Thud!!
“Guaaaaargh!”
Yebin lifted her head and swung it backward, and my stomach—which had been serving as the pillow for that rock of a head—took the hit dead-on.
“You… you insane brat… that… hey, if you actually…”
“You started it.”
Yebin was staring at me like nothing had happened, but I still had something that needed saying. Saying what needed to be said—that was the Can-Do Cola way, and that was me.
“I’m not… like someone else we know… I don’t have any belly fat…!”
Yeah. If I’d had even a little belly fat the pain wouldn’t have been this bad, but I barely have any. My body doesn’t put on muscle easily either.
And she hits someone like that with this? Has she lost her mind?
Yebin heard me, smiled sweetly, and crawled closer.
“Hey, Gyeong-do, Gyeong-do.”
“What.”
“……You just said something you should never say to a woman.”
With those words she lunged straight at my shoulder….
-Crunch!!
“Gyaaaaaaaaah!!!”
“Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!”
She bit down again right on the spot where the tooth marks already were. Completely unhinged behavior.
I did everything I could to shove that rabid Yebin off me.
Seriously, Lee Yebin. You’re a total lunatic. A rabid dog, that’s what you are.
After I finally calmed that rabid dog down, I demanded hamburgers as compensation for getting bitten yesterday and today.
“Buy me a hamburger.”
“Hmph.”
“Do you even know how many times you’ve shoved those filthy teeth into me lately?”
“I brush every day.”
That’s not the point.
It was ridiculous, but I still had to demand damage compensation. It had hurt like hell.
“I’ll let everything else slide, but the teeth actually hurt. At least buy me a hamburger.”
“……I’ll get Yeon’s too so we can eat together.”
“Nice.”
Yebin flopped back down on my stomach and started picking hamburgers.
“What do you want?”
“The usual.”
“Psy? Okay.”
I asked for the chicken-thigh burger I always got.
Then Yebin suddenly started saying something weird. Really weird.
“But does that even fill you up?”
“What does.”
“A hamburger set. You’re a guy, right? Guys never look full with just one burger and fries.”
“Hmm… then maybe I should try something else.”
Like she’d been waiting for those exact words, Yebin held up a hamburger for me to see.
“How about this one?”
“What is it.”
“This one has two chicken patties.”
She wanted me to eat something that thick… and there were two of them?
Just looking at what she showed me made my throat close up.
“Just try it once. You might even put on a little weight.”
“I’d rather get large fries.”
“Just try it once~ Just once~”
“Are you trying to mess with me?”
“No, I’m trying to fatten you up. Why?”
Suddenly she wanted to fatten me up?
“Exactly how are you planning to eat me?”
“Should I start right now? Want me to tear off the shoulder I already bit?”
“I’m sorry. Yes ma’am.”
The moment I tucked my tail, Yebin wore a victor’s smile and announced it like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Then you’re eating the Flex Psy.”
“Ah, noona, that’s a bit much.”
“Nope. Already ordered.”
For the record, Yebin hadn’t ordered just that. She’d ordered a full set for Yeon and one for herself as well. On top of that she ordered fried chicken chunks too.
One guy and two girls eating, and the guy was getting the least amount of food. It felt pretty ironic, but I decided to just let it go.
If I thought about it too hard I felt like I’d lose.
Meanwhile Yebin asked me another question like it was the most natural thing.
“Hey, what are we streaming today?”
“Good question.”
Lately collabs with Yebin had become ridiculously frequent. Roughly two days out of every three. We only took one day off a week, so it basically felt like we were streaming together every day except two.
Which was why we sometimes had these “what do we even do” thinking sessions.
“Elia and Mei aren’t streaming today, Ggyumyong unnie is off, and only Marty oppa is playing games.”
“Ggyumyong is probably doing private Repu Mountain, and Marty hyung said he was heading back to his main stream for the first time in a while.”
“Overclock?”
“Yeah. So basically today Repu Mountain is just you and me.”
Repu Mountain was a pretty unique server in a lot of ways.
True to its healing-server concept, competitive content was almost nonexistent. Even the competitive stuff that did exist was the kind of lighthearted nonsense people could laugh through together.
Lifestyle content made up the bulk of it, and the whole place was designed for quiet healing vibes.
Paradoxically, even though it was a streamer server, it had become the place streamers went when they literally just wanted to rest while playing a game.
Thanks to that the number of participating streamers was at an all-time high, yet the server itself stayed surprisingly chill—people just enjoyed whatever they felt like enjoying.
Repu had set it up that way from the start: people who wanted to grind hard could still have fun, and people who wanted pure healing without any effort could enjoy themselves just fine too.
“Let’s do some mining on Repu Mountain today, hunt for a few relics, then do something else.”
“So what are we actually doing.”
Yeah, what should we do.
While I kept thinking it over, a pretty solid idea hit me.
“Lee Yebin, want to learn a game from me?”
“A game? Which one?”
“Pick one of the two. Pokémon or Battle of Legends.”
“Do I have to pick just one?”
“Those are basically the only two you can actually do anything in, right?”
Pokémon didn’t require much mechanical skill, so Yebin could handle it pretty well. Battle of Legends was the game she mainly played, so she could at least learn it.
For the record, I said “learn” because her rank was that low. She’s bronze. Bronze. Not even human.
“…I’ll do Pokémon.”
“Good choice.”
I’d already roughly decided the thumbnail too. Ghost Poke King—doesn’t that sound perfect?
“But do I really have to learn from you?”
“Does that bother you? Too bad! Should’ve been better than me then!”
“I swear I’m gonna kill you for real one of these days.”
“Just kidding. The thumbnail potential is great, isn’t it?”
“It is, and that just makes it more annoying.”
At least she admitted it. Her head was still working.
“And if you don’t come over to do Bite Crush on me, that’d be the cherry on top.”
“If you stop being such a pain I won’t do Bite Crush.”
We were trading banter like that when the doorbell rang at the perfect moment.
“I’ll go get it.”
“No need. Call Yeon and get the table ready. I’ll go.”
“Okey~”
Yebin immediately went to fetch Yeon, and I headed to the front door to take the hamburgers.
Among the three hamburgers, one was noticeably bigger. So that was the one she wanted me to eat?
Could I even finish it? That thing looked impossible.
With that thought I carried the food inside and found Yebin already sitting on the living-room sofa with Yeon.
I spread the hamburgers and drinks out on the coffee table. Yeon was first to grab her hamburger, cheese sticks, and zero cola.
Yebin took the same hamburger I was eating plus fries and cola, and I grabbed the exact same things she had.
Why did all our menus match? Kind of creepy.
“Thanks for the food~”
“Eat up, you little pig.”
“You don’t get any. I bought this, why are you calling me a pig?”
“I’ve bought food way more times than you have, so cut me some slack.”
“This psycho for real.”
Curses loaded with Yebin’s fury flew at me, but I remained completely unfazed.
I was completely justified. Nothing I’d said was wrong. Right?
Naturally….
-Crunchhh!
“Gyaaaaaaah!”
Instead of the hamburger she was supposed to eat, Yebin bit my shoulder.
This girl was actually insane.
Right after taking that hit, I taught Yeon one of life’s important truths.
“Yeon-ah, you must never copy the things Lee Yebin does~”
Yeon, true to being my little sister, gave a reply that showed her instincts were still razor-sharp.
“Oppa, seriously~ You still treat me like a little kid. Even the blacklisted friends from Dodo’s streams don’t copy stuff like this.”
“Hmm, those guys would do it and then some.”
Those guys really were the worst.