Chapter 310: The Carousel (4)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 310: The Carousel (4)
The Ferris wheel.
In that small, slowly turning cabin, I heard my daughter’s innermost thoughts.
An overwhelming sense of despair washed over me, but at the same time, a question remained.
Did my daughter truly distance herself from me for that reason alone?
I had a feeling that wasn’t it.
There were still a few things that didn’t quite add up if I were to understand every moment based on that one reason.
For instance, Han Ju-hee.
Although she had also unintentionally caused my daughter pain, their relationship wasn't as bad as ours.
No, to be precise, after being thoroughly ignored just like I was, she had managed to mend their relationship to some extent.
At the very least, my daughter didn't use excuses to avoid meals with her or go through life without even making eye contact.
Was it simply because they were both women?
I doubt it.
That didn't feel like a convincing enough reason.
Instead, the thought that followed felt more plausible.
There was something more.
Another reason she had to keep her distance from me.
If so, what could it be?
Now that she had started to open up, perhaps I could find out.
“Is that all?”
“Huh…?”
I asked, full of hope.
“The reason you grew distant from your dad… I feel like there’s more you haven’t said. Am I wrong?”
The moment the words left my mouth, her expression hardened. I was certain.
So there is another reason.
But then, Seo-yeon turned the question back on me.
“…Is there a reason you think that?”
“Well.”
I couldn’t answer with a father’s intuition or feelings.
A plausible excuse… ah.
“It’s because of your expression, Sunbae.”
“My expression…?”
“Usually, when people open up, they look at least a little relieved… but you don’t.”
Just talking about what’s weighing on your mind can make you feel lighter.
But her expression was still suppressed by something.
“So I just guessed that there might be something else you can’t talk about… Am I wrong?”
It was a forced, yet seemingly plausible, answer.
Hearing this, a small smile spread across Son Seo-yeon’s lips.
“You’re scarily perceptive.”
She admitted it without protest.
“You’re right. There is one more thing. Another reason I grew distant from my dad. It started as I told you, but this other reason is probably the bigger obstacle preventing us from mending our relationship, even now.”
Her bitter smile only made me more curious.
What could possibly be a bigger obstacle than the reason she already gave?
Could I have done something to inflict a deep wound on her without even realizing it?
I looked at her, expecting her to confess this other reason as well, but…
“But I can’t tell you this.”
She shook her head with a firm expression, declaring it a secret.
My face crumpled naturally.
What reason could be so significant that she would clam up so resolutely?
If I had my way, I would have gently prodded her for more, but…
“If it’s something that’s hard to talk about, you don’t have to say anything.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
She replied with a smile.
After some thought, I chose to pretend to understand and let it go.
Seeing her determined expression, I knew that a little prodding wouldn’t make her talk.
And also…
“Ah, it’s over.”
The Ferris wheel, which had softened her heart, had completed its journey through the high sky and returned to the ground.
“Let’s get off.”
I followed her out of the small cabin as she walked ahead, her face slightly flushed.
“……”
“……”
The atmosphere had become a little awkward.
Unable to even look my way, Seo-yeon glanced around hesitantly before finally speaking.
“We should probably… get going, right?”
“Closing time is approaching… I suppose we should.”
We really had been here for a long time.
I never imagined we’d meet early in the morning and stay until the park closed.
She looked around with a wistful gaze, then, as if remembering something, spoke again.
“Um… I’m sorry, but do you think we could ride just one more thing?”
It seemed there was a ride she hadn’t gotten to yet.
I was getting tired and wanted to go home, but…
“Sure.”
I couldn’t bring myself to refuse.
If today was truly for her to reminisce about old memories, as she said… then I had a feeling I knew which ride was next.
“Let’s go.”
I slowly followed behind her as she walked ahead with a cheerful gait.
The place we soon arrived at was the carousel.
The children who would have enjoyed it had all gone home, so we walked past the empty queue and climbed onto the wooden horses.
As the carousel began to turn slowly, her smile grew even brighter.
As if she had returned to that day long ago.
“Back then, we always rode the carousel last, too.”
Yes.
We did.
That day was much like today, I think.
I’d always been confident in my stamina, but spending a whole day at an amusement park was exhausting.
We were getting ready to leave when Seo-yeon’s eyes lit up at the sight of the carousel, and she started begging me to ride it.
“Back then, I sat on Dad’s lap to ride it…”
It was because she was too small to ride by herself.
Partly because she was a slow grower at the time, and also because the horses at Luna Land were all on the larger side.
Watching her look so happy just by recalling old memories, a question bubbled up inside me.
What could this other reason be, that it could overshadow even these feelings?
But I quickly decided not to dwell on it.
“…It’s too late now, isn’t it.”
Even if I knew the reason, I could no longer do anything for her as her father.
In that case, there was no need to pry.
At the very least, I now knew that my daughter had suffered because of me.
That was enough.
Enough to soothe some of the resentment that had built up in my heart toward her.
The short, happy moment passed, and we got off the carousel, standing on solid ground once more.
[Did you have a wonderful time?]
[Sadly, the time has come to say goodbye.]
Just then, the announcement signaling the park’s closing began to play.
As if trying to carefully pack away memories she could never return to, she slowly looked around before turning back with a strange smile.
“Let’s go now.”
She still didn’t look completely relieved.
However… it seemed she had succeeded in easing some of her frustration.
We joined the departing crowd and left Luna Land.
Then we went straight to the parking lot, got in the car I’d parked, and headed toward her house.
We soon arrived nearby.
“Thank you so much for today. You must be tired because of me, right?”
I shook my head at her question, which was half gratitude and half worry.
“I was tired… but I had fun, too.”
It wasn’t a complete lie.
Just as she had reminisced, I too had felt happy for a moment while recalling old memories.
And I had also learned that my daughter hadn’t distanced herself from me for no reason.
“I’m glad you had fun.”
Seo-yeon seemed slightly relieved at my words.
Something I wanted to say to her came to mind.
“Excuse me, Sunbae.”
“Yes…?”
“Starting today, let’s bury the memories of the past in our hearts and just look forward as we live.”
The last words I wanted to convey as a father.
“I don’t know what the rest of your story is… but you’re all grown up now, Sunbae, and you can’t go back to your childhood.”
Even if I had remained her father, we could never go back.
It would be the same even if we managed to mend our torn relationship.
Because unlike back then, she had grown up so much.
No matter how I tried to treat her the same, an unavoidable gap would have constantly emerged.
“I hope you’ll think more about how to move forward, rather than wanting to go back.”
I sincerely wish for it.
For Seo-yeon to be happy.
For her to no longer suffer under the weight of her mother and father.
“That’s the only way to stand tall as Son Seo-yeon, the person.”
If Seo-yeon decided to run toward that goal, I could certainly help her from my current position, even if I wasn't her dad.
After listening to me in silence, she quietly opened her mouth and asked.
“Will you… help me, Do-jin?”
“If it’s something I can help with, then of course.”
Seo-yeon seemed to think deeply for a moment before finally smiling and nodding.
“I’ll try my best. If you help me, Do-jin… I think I can do it.”
Placing a hand over her heart, Seo-yeon quietly closed her eyes.
“Maybe I can even let go of… this heavy feeling in my heart.”
My girl… just how heavy is your story that you’d describe it like that?
When she opened her eyes, she wore a more cheerful smile as she continued.
“I… have a lot of flaws. I’m clumsy at talking to people, I’m awkward as a Hunter… I’m just lacking in every way.”
I did like that she was self-aware.
If you can identify a problem, you can fix it. If you don’t even know what it is, you’re truly hopeless.
In that sense, my daughter was at least standing at the starting line.
“So you have to help me. I’m going to ask you about all sorts of things, so don’t get annoyed and answer everything.”
“Yes, I will.”
In the past, I might have been too annoyed to answer, but it was fine now.
At the very least, I wanted to help her learn to stand on her own.
This was the bare minimum I could do.
The minimum responsibility I could take after giving up on being her father again.
Smiling a smile that made even the person watching feel good, she continued.
“And this is about the distant future…”
“What is it?”
“So… when I can stand on my own as a Hunter, and as a person…”
“Yes?”
“Will you… come to the amusement park with me one more time then…?”
What was with this anticlimactic question?
I was trembling, thinking she was about to ask for something incredibly difficult.
“Sure. That’s not a hard thing to do.”
If it helps you stand on your own, what’s the big deal?
I readily agreed.
At that, she gave me a knowing smile and sought confirmation.
“That’s a promise…?”
“Yes, a promise.”
Only after we linked pinkies did she seem to believe me and pull her hand back.
That’s right, daughter.
Promises and contracts should be thoroughly confirmed two, three times like that. You’re doing great.
“…Hee.”
She laughed out loud, looking so happy about something.
It felt as if I could already see her bright future shimmering before my eyes.
“Haha.”
I laughed along with her.