Chapter 309: The Carousel (3)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 309: The Carousel (3)
The day she passed the qualification exam as a B-rank.
Though she didn't let it show, she was overjoyed. That was when Kim Do-jin asked her.
What she wanted for her wish.
In that moment, Son Seo-yeon saw her father in Kim Do-jin.
From when she was very young. The image of her dad, promising to grant her a wish after she came home with a perfect score on a test.
Perhaps reminiscing through someone else had sent her back to her own childhood.
“…I want to go to an amusement park.”
By the time she came to her senses, the words were already out.
She might have been able to take them back.
No, at the very least, she could have wiped up the spilled water and pretended nothing had happened.
But she didn't.
If he were to ask ‘Why?’, she wouldn't have had much to say.
Only that in that moment, she had simply followed where her heart led.
She had been worrying endlessly right up until they arrived.
An amusement park, alone with a man.
In a situation that anyone would see as a date, she wondered if she could handle it.
But that was a needless worry.
‘I feel at ease.’
Being with him was comfortable.
A sense of familiarity, as if they had known each other for a long time, instantly melted away the cluster of worries that usually hung in her mind whenever she was with others—a result of her social awkwardness.
Once those worries, the very things that had blocked her from getting close to anyone, disappeared, all that remained was the real Son Seo-yeon.
“Let's ride this one next.”
The raw, unfiltered Son Seo-yeon had an absolute blast.
She joyfully conquered every ride—the ones she'd ridden long ago, and the ones she'd had to turn away from due to various restrictions.
And in the process, she also caught a glimpse of Kim Do-jin's deeply human side.
‘So there's something he can't do, too.’
He was terrible with amusement park rides.
Even though he could fly higher and faster than any of them if he wanted to.
She found it endlessly amusing and nice.
It felt as if that small flaw gently pulled the man, who always seemed to be floating high in the sky, a little closer to her.
‘This is nice.’
Everything was nice.
This moment with him.
And the past, gently resurfacing within it.
Then, night fell.
A dreamlike night, with a soft violet hue spreading across the sky.
Feeling as if she had entered a dreamland, she finally decided to wake from that dream.
“Why aren't you asking?”
She pressed him for the question.
The question he must have been curious about ever since she said she wanted to go to the amusement park.
Finally, Kim Do-jin asked.
“Why did you wish to come to an amusement park?”
To that question, she answered.
“Because I wanted to remember something from the past.”
Kim Do-jin understood her meaning at once.
There could only be one memory she would want to recall by coming here.
But he didn't let on, instead tilting his head as if puzzled and asking,
“A memory… from the past?”
“Yeah.”
Son Seo-yeon nodded, forcing a smile to hide her awkward expression.
“A long time ago, just once, I came here with my mom and dad.”
I could tell just by looking at her expression.
How happy and radiant that memory was for her.
The more I understood that, the more complicated and difficult things became.
Why had my daughter, who had so enjoyed her time with family, changed so much?
Kim Do-jin hid his complex feelings, adopting a much lighter tone as he asked back.
“It seems like that was a really wonderful memory for you.”
To that, she replied.
“Yes, it was.”
After answering, she suddenly started walking again and stopped in front of a ride.
“I want to ride this.”
At the tip of her finger was the Ferris wheel.
The perfect ride for looking down on the entire park.
“…Alright.”
Kim Do-jin followed her and quietly stood at the very back of the line to wait for their turn.
The short line moved quickly, and soon it was their turn.
As they stepped into the slowly moving cabin, an attendant closed the door.
“……”
“……”
The conversation paused for a moment.
Just as the view from the window of the slowly ascending Ferris wheel was becoming beautiful,
“I've never told anyone this before.”
Son Seo-yeon, who had been quietly gazing out the window, began to speak.
“You know… I hated being born as my father's daughter.”
“……!”
A kind of pain I had never felt before constricted my heart.
I already knew.
That my daughter didn't particularly like her father.
Didn't she avoid even a single meal with me, using her diet as an excuse?
But speculating on my own and hearing it confirmed by her were two completely different things.
What father in the world could remain calm after hearing the daughter he raised like a precious treasure say, ‘I hated being born as your daughter’?
As he swallowed his pain, she continued.
“When I was little, it was great. My parents, recognized wherever we went, were my pride, and I was happy whenever people told me I should become a great person like my dad.”
Yes.
That's how it was.
Back then, she used to be the one going around, boasting, ‘My mom and dad are amazing people!’
I remember how embarrassed I was, weighed down by sunglasses and perception-hindering artifacts every time she did.
“But… I came to realize that it wasn't all just happiness.”
“…When was that?”
“From the time I started elementary school.”
I was puzzled.
Could something have happened in elementary school that would make her regret being born as Son Si-woo's daughter?
Then, her eyes filled with sadness, she looked at Kim Do-jin and asked.
“If you were a teacher… how would you praise a student who got a perfect score on a test?”
A random question.
“Well… I'd probably just say, 'Good job, you must have worked hard,' something like that.”
“Yeah, right?”
Normally, that would be the case.
Getting a perfect score on a test means you prepared thoroughly, whether by studying ahead or reviewing.
Praise befitting that effort should naturally follow.
“But it wasn't like that for me.”
It wasn't for her.
“The first praise I ever received from a teacher was… 'As expected of Hunter Son Si-woo's daughter.'”
“……”
The first praise she received was focused more on her father than on her.
As if her own efforts meant nothing.
As if it were only natural for the daughter of Son Si-woo.
But back then, she was actually quite happy about it.
“At first, I was happy. I even gave it my own meaning, thinking, 'I did well enough not to be an embarrassment as my dad's daughter.'”
But that feeling faded as she grew older.
“As I moved up in grades, entered middle school… even as my environment changed and I grew, the words of praise directed at me never changed one bit.”
If she showed agile movements in gym class, her friends and teacher would say:
“As expected of Son Si-woo's daughter.”
If her test scores were outstanding, another name would follow.
“As expected of Han Ju-hee's daughter.”
The more it happened, the more exhausted she became.
“My mom and dad didn't help me with my tests at all…”
Son Seo-yeon smiled pitifully.
The tests were entirely her own effort.
Studying ahead, reviewing. Her mom and dad never made her do it.
She did it simply because she wanted to.
Because she wanted to work hard, and she wanted that hard work to be recognized.
And yet.
“I was always just a kid who got ahead thanks to the great body and mind I inherited from my parents.”
Some people even sneered.
Saying things like, ‘Isn't that to be expected if you're born as Son Si-woo and Han Ju-hee's daughter?’
They completely negated her efforts.
The more it happened, the more an emotion she could tell no one about piled up inside her, layer by layer.
“At some point, I found myself resenting my dad.”
The feeling of resentment toward her own parents.
“Why is my dad Son Si-woo? How much better would it have been if he were just an ordinary dad…?”
And so, she began to push her family away, little by little.
Naturally, she also spent less time talking with friends.
After all, the people surrounding her were nothing but moths drawn to the halo of her mother and father.
“I thought that was the way to protect myself. The only way to remain purely as 'Son Seo-yeon,' not as Son Seo-yeon, the daughter of Han Ju-hee and Son Si-woo.”
She thought the hands reaching out and the words coming from all directions were eating away at her identity.
That the sooner she got away from her parents, the sooner the time would come when she would be recognized purely as ‘herself.’
That's what she thought back then.
“But I was wrong.”
The Magic Tower, which she had entered at her mother Han Ju-hee's insistence.
There, she saw people living their lives desperately.
People who immersed themselves in research day and night to secure funding.
People who entered dungeons during the day to earn money, then focused on research at night with their exhausted bodies.
Even people who, lacking talent, failed to achieve their dreams and fell into despair.
Watching them face the frustrations and trials that had never once come her way, she realized something.
“That for all the praise I hated hearing, I was born with so much, and had enjoyed so much in my life.”
She had lived her life unaware, focusing only on the things she hated.
That just as many things—no, far more things—that troubled her were already in her grasp.
Some in the form of genes.
Others in the form of material wealth.
And when she realized she had never once pushed any of it away, she laughed hollowly.
“I was enjoying all the benefits while wishing all the praise was directed solely at me.”
She had arbitrarily deemed herself unhappy and arbitrarily pushed her family away.
Belated reflection and regret.
She wanted to apologize to her mom and dad and go back to how things were, but.
“…It's been too long. I've forgotten.”
What kind of expression she used to make when she looked at her mom and dad.
How to talk to them, how to continue a conversation.
That wasn't the only problem.
While she was running away, the atmosphere between her mom and dad had changed.
A cold and frosty air.
That frozen atmosphere made her shrink back even more.
And having shrunk back, she had remained that way until now.
“That's why I wanted to come to the amusement park. I wanted to feel, even just a little, the emotions from back then.”
That was all there was to it.
“I thought that if I was with you, I might be able to feel some of that.”
It seemed possible with him, who was both similar to and different from her father.
That's why she'd made it her wish.
After finishing her story, she cautiously asked Kim Do-jin, who had been listening in silence.
“So… what do you think?”
She herself didn't know. What exactly was she asking his opinion on?
Was she asking for his thoughts on the life she had lived?
Or was she asking if her frustrated heart could ever find relief?
Or perhaps, was she hoping he would curse her for her foolish thoughts and actions?
To this question, whose asker couldn't even define its meaning, Kim Do-jin raised his head.
He gazed at her with calm, settled eyes and opened his mouth.
“Is that all?”
“Huh…?”
“The reason you grew distant from your father… I feel like there's more you haven't said. Am I wrong?”
“……”
At his sharp question, her face hardened, and she closed her mouth.