A Mother's Grace
"My baby."
At the softly murmured word, the infant smiled. The woman's warm body heat settled over him, and the orange hair that covered the child's nape was filled with a subtle fragrance.
"My baby."
After a long pause, the elegant voice rang out once more. The child struggled to open his eyes at the voice calling him. Because he had been more reluctant than other children to see the light, this was the first moment he had opened his eyes since coming into the world.
"Hello? I'm your mother."
What great wrong could he have committed? The vermilion-haired woman introducing herself as "Mother" held tears to the brim, leaving him flustered.
The baby gazed blankly at his mother before working his lips and cautiously reading her expression. She was a little frightening, yet her face was so gentle that the moment was clearly not entirely bad for the child. Though tension was plain on him, he did not avert his eyes from hers.
A breeze drifting in through the window parted the woman's hair and settled against the child's nose. It was so sweet. The sugared scent of tangerine fruit carried on the wind, mixed with the woman's own fragrance, drew a smile from the infant.
"Kael…"
When the child who had done nothing but cry finally offered her a smile, a smile at last bloomed on the woman's face as well. He had cried more than other babies, and her worry had been endless.
Scritch, scritch.
Wanting to feel even a little of the wonder of life, she carefully stroked the baby's eyelids with her slender fingers. This was her one and only blood, a being far too precious; even though she had given birth to him herself, she could not treat him carelessly.
The wound of losing her parents to barbarians in this world was healing through this child.
Ugh-yaah.
The baby mumbled a faint coo and slowly turned his head. Even the restless kicking of his arms and legs felt truly sacred.
Huff, huff.
Yet the breaths he exhaled were terribly fragile. The physician had said a chronic ailment had appeared in one of his lungs, but she had never expected the signs to show so soon.
"My baby… does it hurt so much…?"
Darin held back tears as she gathered the child against her breast. Once he had grown a little, she would transplant her own lung into him without fail. If necessary, both lungs. No—even her life itself.
The mother slowly offered a rubber bottle filled with milk to the child. His breathing was so unstable he could not suckle properly, so she had to let it trickle in this way. Fortunately, he did not refuse the breast milk and swallowed it little by little.
"Mommy's sorry… for not giving birth to you healthy…"
Fifteen years old. Far too early to be called a mother. Yet once she had borne a child, she had to fulfill that role. Harsh as it was, the girl did not turn away from the unavoidable reality.
Pat, pat.
Darin lightly patted the child's back. She had been told that after feeding, one must quickly help a baby burp.
The young child, who had not even grown hair yet, blinked his eyes. Still, those clear blue eyes left no doubt that he was the Viscount of Bayorn's son.
His little mouth worked open and closed as if he wanted to say something. Perhaps he wished to express gratitude to the first being who had shown him kindness.
"You're so beautiful…"
Darin could not tear her gaze from the child even as her eyes sparkled with moisture. They were blue eyes she could never find in her own face—beautiful as the deep sea. The color matched her husband's, yet the purity held within them was beyond comparison.
Blink, blink.
Each time the child closed and opened his eyes, the flowers within them withered and bloomed again. Darin parted her lips and wore a dazed expression before the dizzyingly sacred sight.
First love. It was the first vivid emotion she had ever felt in her life. Something warm, deeply moving and earnest, rose in her heart, and Darin was realizing this feeling many times over today.
Darin had always been a girl loved by everyone. It was not merely that she was beautiful; her charm and temperament were extraordinarily lovable. She was a woman with so soft a heart that she had even reluctantly given affection to the viscount who had ruthlessly forced himself upon her.
Had the child inherited that nature of hers as well? Darin found herself helplessly enchanted by those blue eyes that held light like the night sky. Tears streamed down once more before a nobility she had never encountered anywhere in this world.
Darin slowly reached out, intending to stroke the baby's cheek. But the timid infant seemed a little afraid and quietly turned his head away.
The mother wore a startled expression and pressed her lips tightly shut. She had been terrified that she might have treated the child roughly.
"…My baby, may Mommy touch your cheek a little?"
She took an excessive posture of humility toward a child not even a year old. But to Darin, he was that precious a being.
Whether he understood a parent's devotion or not, the child fretted a little, then stopped and began to smile again. Taking it as permission, Darin let out a sigh of relief.
After gently wiping the child's eyelids with her sleeve, the mother drew a deep breath and once more caressed his cheek.
"Wow… wow…"
The girl, floundering in a sea of emotion, could only work her red lips endlessly, not knowing what to say. No other word came to mind that could express this happy texture.
Darin smiled softly and pinched the child's face this way and that. She seemed to have given birth to him without a single flaw.
That he was somewhat unhealthy was ultimately her own failure for not bearing him well, and she intended to bear that later.
Hiss.
The pale face of the child who had been breathing hard gradually regained composure. Realizing that this woman's arms were his home, he decided there was no need to remain tense.
Even, steady breaths floated near the now-relaxed child's mouth. Darin pressed her ear to Kael's lips and savored that sense of security. How fortunate. He was not as frail a child as she had feared.
Darin carefully stroked the two little hands clenched tightly together. She also tapped the lips that were pouting as if with some complaint…
Smack.
Without realizing it, she had kissed him.
Ah, I shouldn't have done that…!
And immediately a wave of apology rose. For a mother to steal her child's first kiss—what if he felt wronged later?
"I-I'm sorry, Kael."
Darin glanced about furtively before offering an apology to the child's ear. Yet Kael seemed rather pleased by his mother's kiss; he worked his small lips as if asking for more.
A bashful, happy smile rose on the little child's face. It was the manner of a filial son who would gladly accept anything his mother did for him.
"Aaaah…"
Overwhelmed, Darin burst into those tiresome tears once more. She felt so grateful to the child who repaid her with small wonders no matter what she did that she could not contain her emotions.
"Kael, Kael, Kael…"
Her son's name circled endlessly inside the woman's mouth. When her belly had swollen before giving birth, she had even felt the blasphemous resentment toward the child. Now that this moment had arrived, the despair of that time felt like nothing at all.
Even if it were not truly so, Darin thought this way: that she might have been reborn in this other world solely to give birth to this child.
Today was a day when she felt only gratitude toward the god she had always found so hateful.
Darin took the child's soft hand, as pliant as a white cotton ball, and spoke to him. He was a newborn who could not yet understand her words,
yet she still wanted to express the fullness of her heart.
Thank you for coming to find your lonely mother, my baby.
The man carefully carried his mother, who lay sprawled in a wretched state, over to the bathtub.
From head to toe there was not a single place left unsoiled, so with a reverence as if serving a god he cleaned every corner of her body. Just as his mother had always done for him.
An excited smile filled the face of the man who had committed the unpardonable sin. This moment was one in which he had wounded his mother, yet it was also the moment he had finally made this woman his own.
"Kael…"
Even sunk in sleep she shed tears and called his name; her figure was both pitiful and beautiful beyond measure. It was her first time, after all, so of course she must have been greatly shocked. But even that, time would resolve.
Had he not already come too far to drown in pity? All the doubts and fragile emotions concerning it had been settled during the three years he spent on the subjugation campaign.
He had no intention of abandoning the one and only love of his one and only life simply because they were blood.
The man gently wiped his mother's eyelids and made his resolve. From this day forward he would gradually offer her his apologies and repay her grace, so that she might come to accept him.
Because his mother was more alluring than anyone, he had ended up engaging in far more intense relations than expected, yet satisfaction far outweighed any regret. Looking at it this way, he too was clearly a barbarian with Bayorn blood flowing in his veins.
But what could he do? The impatience that rose to madness because of the young men who looked at his mother had become something he could no longer endure.
"Hahaha…"
A grotesque smile bloomed on the man's face. The white beast was looking forward to it—the moment when his mother would become a bitch who had violated the same natural order as he.
He had decided long ago to become a beast cub who had cast off the natural order. The beast that had silenced every worry had nothing left to hold him back.
Above all, if his mother accepted him and fell into the abyss together with him, there would be much he could do for her, and much they could enjoy.
Looking at the woman's face where pain and happiness coexisted, it was clear that the bride was thrashing through a dream, trying to escape despair.
But even that would become impossible the moment she opened her eyes.
For her reality would be a boundless despair from which she could flee nowhere.