A Girl's First Love (Part Two)
Akael Bayern.
That was the name of the boy who would one day become chieftain of the barbarians.
Akael was the name the child's mother, the Viscountess, had given him—a blending of Michael, the most powerful and greatest of the archangels in the Protestant faith, and Akan, the Viscount of Bayorn's true name.
That did not mean she expected the child to become someone so magnificent. The name Michael carried the sense of Who is like God?—implying something akin to the Creator's own reflection.
Yes. To Darin, Kael was no different from an extension of her own blood and flesh. So much so that the timid woman would throw her life away without a moment's hesitation for him.
On the surface, he was a child who resembled her in no way at all. In those blue eyes and pure white hair, there was no trace of the vermilion-haired girl.
But what did that matter? The fact that she had borne him in pain would never change.
"I wish I had orange hair like Mother…"
Though children generally grew quickly, Kael's growth was especially rapid. The tiny little boy had grown and grown until he turned seven, standing a full head taller than his peers.
On their only day of rest, with her tension finally eased, Darin lay in the bedroom tumbling about with her son, answering his playful remarks with a smile.
"Don't say that. Mother loves that your hair is white as snow."
"Why do you like that I have white hair?"
"Well…?"
Darin slowly turned the thought over in her mind. Why was she glad her child had white hair and blue eyes? She had never truly considered it. She had simply loved her son.
"Hmm—it means your father can never suspect me of infidelity. And he can't go around fathering children outside the marriage either, can he?"
Looking closely, neither her firstborn Kael nor her second child, Piel, particularly resembled her. At best, Kael's eye shape was similar, and Piel's smile was alike.
But from the perspective of a noblewoman like Darin, this was something to welcome rather than regret.
In aristocratic society, where purity and chastity were prized, it was far more advantageous for a child to resemble the father. A face that was the spitting image of the father also symbolized a noble wife's steadfast fidelity.
Even if the Viscount of Bayorn later turned his eyes to another woman, no one could deny that Kael was the legitimate heir of House Bayorn. Kael was the spitting image of the Viscount in his youth.
Of course, the Viscount of Bayorn was not a man who would commit adultery. Even after all these years, he still would not leave the Viscountess alone in their marriage bed. It was simply that Darin resented her husband, and so twisted the interpretation.
"Is that all…?"
A faint note of resentment toward his parents colored the child's soft voice—was that all the petty reason she loved him? Looking at her son, Darin smiled faintly.
"I'm joking. Mother doesn't care whether Kael's hair is white or orange."
Yes, none of that mattered. From the moment this child had emerged from her womb and expressed the desperate stirring of life through his cry, she had fallen into her first love.
"I don't know how to put it into words, but this mother finds Kael's very existence so very precious."
The moment she finished speaking, Darin playfully nipped at Kael's ear. The child, who had only recently learned to speak properly, twisted his head away with both cheeks flushed red—what was so wonderful about his mother's coquetry?
"B-but lately you won't bathe with me anymore?"
"…Hmm?"
"You leave me out and only bathe with Piel."
"Ah…"
Darin put on a slightly surprised expression, then nodded. It was true that she had bathed separately ever since Kael turned seven. And it wasn't without reason.
…I just thought Kael might become a mama's boy, so I was trying to put a little distance between us.
Darin loved Kael more than anyone, and that remained true even after all these years. If anything, that feeling had only grown larger, never smaller.
If it were up to me, I wouldn't mind bathing together until he passed ten…
But he was a boy, after all. And as the future Viscount who would inherit House Bayorn, he needed to cultivate independence quickly. At seven, he ought to be free of his mother's skirts.
She had worked tirelessly to become a wise mother. Being swept up in her own emotions and showing only excessive affection was not proper child-rearing.
"Kael, it may feel a little disappointing, but in noble society, once a child reaches a certain age, they no longer bathe with their mother."
"Why?"
"Because men and women are different, and the roles they must fulfill must be distinguished. Separating mother and child is a way of gradually awakening them to those roles."
"How are men and women different?"
"Hmm…"
It was hard to look away from the child's eyes, full of curiosity. How were men and women different? After thinking carefully, Darin listed pure answers the child could understand.
Men were bigger and stronger than women, weren't they? Women had softer bodies than men, with more developed chests and hips. There was a clear difference in the pitch of their voices, too.
She could have spoken of temperament and nature as well, but those seemed a bit too abstract for a child's mind. The mother explained the differences as gently as she could, sticking to biological grounds.
"So is that why men and women are drawn to each other?"
"Huh? What do you mean by that?"
"Because there are so many differences between them, there's a lot to learn about each other, right? I read it in a book last time. Humans continue meeting people to satisfy their curiosity."
Darin blinked both eyes. My, my—she knew her son was bright, but she hadn't expected him to be this clever.
"Yes, that's right."
The girl was truly proud of a child who surpassed his parents. Darin beamed with satisfaction and continued speaking to her son with a smile.
"Anyway, someday you'll leave your parents' arms, form a family of your own, and become the head of a household, won't you? To become a good father, you need to grow in many ways so you can find a woman who will be a good mother. This is part of that."
Affection dripped from her gentle voice and her amber eyes curved with happiness. How beautiful was the face of a woman in love.
Kael gazed steadily at his mother without a word, and then—
He suddenly pressed a kiss to his mother's soft lips.
"…Kael?"
With the child already perched on her belly, Darin couldn't dodge in time and wore a blank expression. It wasn't that she disliked it—she was simply too startled.
"I've already found a woman better than anyone else, you know?"
It was a passionate confession straight out of a romance novel about men and women in love. Darin was truly pleased that her child thought well of his mother, but she had to firmly establish that what was wrong was wrong.
"Kael, I'm grateful, but you mustn't kiss Mother on the lips."
"Why? When I was first born, Mother kissed me on the lips herself, didn't you?"
"Well, that was…"
How was she supposed to explain this?
Commoners might be different, but noble girls who married young were separated from the opposite sex early on.
Though she was of common birth, Darin was ultimately a noblewoman. There was no harm in teaching her son this.
"Kissing is something you should do with the young lady you'll marry someday."
"The young lady I'll marry? Who is that?"
"Well, arranged marriages are common among nobles, but if there's a girl you want, Mother intends to support you with all her heart."
Darin slowly stroked Kael's white hair and fell into a brief reverie. Could it be that her child had opened his eyes to the opposite sex early? Was that why he was trying such things on his mother as a test?
"Kael, have you perhaps found a young lady you like at the little social gatherings?"
Kael had been attending the Little Social Circle, open to children from ages five to twelve. Perhaps he had taken a liking to a girl there. Darin's eyes sparkled as she looked at the child. She was also curious about the future Viscountess who would succeed her…
"No. Mother is far more beautiful than those children. Besides, all they know how to do is chatter on stupidly. They have no idea how to be considerate of others."
It was a deflating answer, far from her expectations. With a sigh that said he was incorrigible, the Viscountess rested her head back against the bed.
Isn't it only natural that children that age only know themselves? Kael is just a bit unusual for maturing so early.
Why would a child so popular at the little social gatherings act so prickly? If he showed even a little interest, the young ladies would come running on their own.
"Mother has always said so, from the beginning."
"Hmm? What did I say?"
"That you should marry the person you love."
"I did, didn't I?"
"Then do you love Father?"
"……Yes."
Darin nodded only after a long pause. Even though that wasn't actually true. A white lie, perhaps?
The Viscountess didn't want her son's pity, nor did she want to tell him that he was a child born of a forced marriage. Any ordinary parent would think the same.
"…Then, between Father and me, who do you love more?"
"Obviously you, Kael."
But for the second answer, there was nothing to hesitate over, nothing to hold her back. At his mother's firm reply, the child finally began to smile softly.
"Our Kael is so good, isn't he?"
Helping lighten the servants' workloads. Washing his mother's undergarments and dresses himself to earn his parents' favor. Massaging her shoulders and back whenever he could, saying his mother worked so hard farming. Even now, at his age, still coming into the bedroom and burrowing into his mother's arms.
Every single thing about him was endearing and precious beyond measure.
The child had clearly taken courage from his mother's answer. Kael put on a resolute expression and faced his mother.
"Then I should marry Mother. The person I love most is Mother, and the person Mother loves most is me."
"…What?"
The Viscountess's blank expression at the sudden proposal lasted only a moment.
"Pfft—Kael, how do you always say such lovely things?"
At her son's heartfelt expression of affection, a flower called a smile bloomed fully across Darin's face. Surely the kind of love her son spoke of was different from what she was trying to teach him.
Later, once he awakened to sexuality and time passed, he would surely bring home a young and beautiful noble lady and neglect his mother.
Until then, wouldn't it be all right to be a little greedy?
Kael's kiss had only been an expression of affection. Just as she herself had kissed him when he was a baby.
Looking back, she had been too cold to the child while trying to play the part of a proper noblewoman. What did it matter if he matured a little more slowly? He was so precious like this.
She had tried to put distance between them in various ways after he turned seven, but another year or two together wouldn't hurt.
After all, once Kael grew up and left her arms, such opportunities would never come again.
"Mother."
At the child's urgent question, Darin tilted her head. What clever remark was he going to use to delight his mother this time?
"Even when I grow taller than you, even when I become an adult—you'll still love me, right?"
Darin slowly stroked the boy who had nestled snugly into her arms. He was only seven, yet the height difference between them was already small. And yet that pure, simple quality of a child remained intact.
Of course she would. He might be smarter and bigger than others at only seven, but he was still just a little boy who longed for his mother's embrace.
It was a mother's apology for the distance she had put between them lately. Darin pressed a soft kiss to her son's broad forehead.
"Of course."
With that brief answer, she immediately wrapped her arms tightly around her son's waist and made her vow.
"This mother will love you most of all until the day she closes her eyes."