04. This Is Our Territory? Yeah. Nope~
04. This Is Our Territory? Yeah. Nope~
Oh, Sonya-ssi? What's going on?
Did you come to see Yuna-ssi?
"H,how??"
Yuna-ssi is flustered.
"Ah, I let her know. Since your mother is a lawyer, I thought it might help a little..."
"How did you know that?"
"I handed out business cards in advance."
Wow. Did you seriously go around handing out business cards at the nearby police station the day we met? Is that even possible?
"Anyway, to think Sonya-ssi is your mother. You've been blessed."
"Blessed, my foot..."
Yuna-ssi blushes as if shy.
She looks just like a teenage girl.
.
.
After finishing up at the police station, we went to a nearby restaurant.
We came to a burger joint to have a chat and grab a quick bite.
"Mom... why are you following me all the way here! I don't need you to look after me!"
"Look after you? I handed out those cards so that if you committed any crimes, you'd be punished more thoroughly."
"...."
Wow... cold-blooded.
"Anyway, I didn't realize it before, but you seem to be quite a strong team."
Sonya-ssi looks at me. Just that alone makes it feel like her scent is wrapping around me...
"Ah. Yes. We're probably the strongest in the world."
"That strong?"
She looks slightly surprised.
"Yes. As long as I'm here, there's no doubt about it."
"Hmm."
She tilts her head in thought as if she doesn't believe me, and for a moment, I almost pounced on her.
She's too pretty! That's a foul!!
"Well, your confidence is nice to see."
"No... it's not confidence, we really are the world's strongest."
"Really? I wonder what makes you so confident."
Asking that with a blank expression makes it feel like an interrogation... well, I'd welcome an interrogation from Sonya-ssi, though.
"Ahem. This is originally top secret, but since it's Sonya-ssi, I'll let you know."
"Does that cosplay-like outfit have anything to do with it?"
Sonya-ssi asks, pointing at my [Red Dragon Robe].
Even though we were inside a fast-food restaurant, I was still wearing my [Ikseongwan], so we were drawing attention from those around us.
"Ah... well, it's not that it has nothing to do with it, but it's negligible."
"My daughter is also wearing something like a hanbok..."
"Hehe. Pretty, right?"
Sora-nuna takes a sip of cola and replies.
I thought her bright smile might spread to Sonya-ssi's face... but no such luck.
"I knew that adventurers often wore unique outfits. But you all have outfits with a common theme, like a uniform. Is there some meaning to it? Like founding a new guild? If that's the case, I'd be more than happy to help."
Oh. A guild.
I definitely need to make a guild. Should I just absorb [Stone Age]? I'll kick out all the male guild members and create my own guild, my own legion of handmaids. This is good.
"I already have a guild."
"For now."
"...."
Sigh... still in a cold war. They're mother and daughter, they should act a bit friendlier.
Sonya-ssi looks at her wristwatch and smiles slightly.
"Right, I have a meeting with the site representative soon, would you like to come along?"
"W,why would I?"
"If you don't want to, forget it."
"...."
That 'site'... could she mean the Spicy Rib House?
"Can I come along?"
So I blurted it out.
"...? You?"
Sonya-ssi looks at me with wide eyes, seemingly surprised, and Sora-nuna, who was busy picking up cabbage that had fallen on the paper, and Yuna-ssi, who was eating fries with her lips pursed, also stare at me.
In other words, all eyes on me.
"Yes. I want to use it as a life experience."
"W,what are you talking about! Why would you go there!"
"Hmm."
Sonya-ssi ponders for a moment.
But it doesn't take long for her to nod.
"Well, that's fine. Since you're a son-in-law, you're practically family, so it shouldn't matter if I take you."
Uh... I thought she said something like boyfriend, but suddenly I'm a son-in-law...
"It matters!! A whole lot!!! Why are you taking him to your work! Besides, isn't that against the rules? The client is going to file a complaint!"
"A complaint? How dare they? Hehe. Those people should be grateful that I even take on such absurd cases, and they want to file a complaint? No other lawyer besides me would take such an absurd case. In other words, I'm the only one."
"S,still, in terms of lawyer ethics..."
"I'll handle that myself. If you're that worried, why don't you come too?"
"Ugh...."
Yuna-ssi bites her lip and glares at me.
"Is this... did you two plot this? To drag me into it?"
"Me? Why would I? If you don't want to come, that's fine too. I'll just chat with my son-in-law."
"...I,I'm not a son-in-law."
"You will be soon, right?"
"Yes? Ah... yes... well..."
Someday, I suppose. Though I won't be marrying only Yuna-ssi.
.
.
After finishing dinner, I headed to the meeting place with Sonya-ssi.
It wasn't in Gangnam where we were, but in another area, so I ended up riding in her car for quite a while, and it's incredibly luxurious.
She pressed one button, and it came to us on its own and even opened the door. Automatically.
Should I buy a car too... ah, I don't have a license.
"We're here."
"Uh... but aren't we a bit late?"
The appointment time was 9 PM. But it's 9:36 PM now. We're quite late.
Sonya-ssi gives a laugh.
Ah... her smile is so pretty.
"It's fine. They need to be kept waiting a bit to know their place."
"I,is that... so?"
She's not just a purely kind person either...
As I scrambled out of the car, the door closed by itself, and it drove off to a nearby parking lot on its own.
Click-clack.
I followed her into the cafe as she walked confidently with her bag over her shoulder.
"Welcome~"
The part-timer greets us brightly.
Sonya-ssi nods lightly and looks around the cafe.
"Those people... right?"
"Seems like it."
Three people with such distinct features were sitting in the cafe that even I, who had never seen the clients' faces, could tell right away.
At that size... about... three times Sonya-ssi?
Not exaggerating. They really are that wide.
"Are you Bang Eun-i-ssi?"
When Sonya-ssi says that, the women whip their heads around.
Hmm. I can read exactly what they're thinking.
First, they get a fresh shock from seeing Sonya-ssi's fantastic beauty, then bad feelings like jealousy rear their heads, and those feelings explode when they see the late time and my face—a misogynistic man.
"Lee Yuna-ssi??"
"Yes."
"W,wait, what time is it now, why are you only just arriving?!"
"Traffic was heavy on the way."
Sonya-ssi says that and commits the 'taboo' of pulling out a chair for me.
"Ah. Thank you."
"W,what...!"
As expected, their faces turn bright red.
Anyway, it's truly amazing. How did they sit in those chairs? And three of them at that.
"E,excuse me."
"Yes."
"Who is this person?"
"We didn't hear anything about a man coming!"
"We wanted a female lawyer!!"
They seem exhausted while talking, panting in between and wiping the sweat from their faces with tissues.
Are they hot? The AC should be on.
"I'm the lawyer, so don't worry. Oh, by the way, have you all ordered?"
Is there any need to ask...
Looking at the table, they've already eaten. Just how many cups and plates are there?
"Yu-eun-ssi, what would you like?"
"Yes? Uh... iced Americano."
I can feel the chill of the AC, but because of the overwhelming people in front of me, I feel hot for no reason.
"Is that so? Don't you want any bread or something?"
"Yup. I'm fine."
Sonya-ssi nods and goes to order 'herself'.
Could it be... is she provoking them on purpose?
A 'woman' pulling out a chair for a 'man',
A 'woman' going to order on behalf of a 'man'. Isn't this a total Megalia provocation?
"Damn. She's fucking rude."
As Sonya-ssi walks away, the three women grumble.
Even though I'm right here, they go straight to swearing.
"If you're late, you should apologize, right?"
"And did you see earlier? She pulled out a chair for him."
"She's a Hyungja."
"Ugh, hopeless. We came all this way with such difficulty, and there's no gain."
They're whispering all sorts of insults with me right in front of them... honestly, I can hear it all. No, are they saying it so I can hear?
Ah... I miss you, Yuna-ssi.
I only realized it was spring after the flowers fell...
I realize now just how normal a person Yuna-ssi is.
Just as I sighed like that,
Suddenly, one of them smirks and points her finger at me, shouting.
"Hey!! You just scanned my body, didn't you?! Right!!"
"...What?"
I spoke informally without thinking.
"You just stared at my chest with lecherous eyes!! Oh my. This is ridiculous. You know this is sexual harassment... no, sexual assault, right? It's visual rape!!"
"As expected of a misogynistic man!!"
"This is why we hired a female lawyer!!"
...What are these bitches saying. Why would I look at a pig's chest. What would I get out of looking at it.
"Wow, you're shamelessly still staring. People like you hold gender power, which is why South Korea is going to ruin! Apologize now!!"
"If it weren't for the lawyer, I'd sue you right now."
...Should I just slice them up with a knife and make pork belly? And serve it to the monsters. As a treat for their hard work.
"Why would I look at you people. You're weird."
"W,what did you say? Weird people? You even insulted us now!!"
"And what do you mean, why look at us..."
"Ha! So you're saying our fat bodies aren't even worth looking at?"
"Wow. Body shaming is off the charts."
"What's going on?"
Ah. Sonya-ssi is back. It feels like I'm being purified.
"Lawyer!! This man just scanned my body with lecherous eyes!! This is sexual harassment, right!!"
"Yes?"
Sonya-ssi pauses for a moment, then puts the Americano in front of me with a slight smile.
"It seems there's some misunderstanding, but Yu-eun-ssi is not that kind of person."
"A,are you... laughing at me right now?"
"Laughing at you?"
"You just laughed after hearing what I said!"
"Ah~."
Sonya-ssi smiles again.
She's someone who doesn't smile often, but she smiles well at times like this.
"Please calm down. Nothing like that happened."
"What do you mean nothing happened!! Then what did I experience? I'm telling you, that man visually raped me!!"
"Visual rape?"
"Yes! That lecherous, snake-crawling gaze! That's what visual rape is! How can you not know that when you're a lawyer?"
Wow, they're going all out.
"Hmm. Well, I get it, so let's sit down first. And why don't you lower your voices? Everyone is staring."
"Are other people's gazes important? Or is the human rights of a victim important!"
"Etiquette is important."
"Then are you saying my human rights aren't important?!"
"I don't know why human rights are coming up here."
"Hmph! If I were a man, you would have believed me immediately and called the police! This is all because women's rights are low. You're not believing me and ignoring me because I'm a woman!"
Now they're even pointing fingers at Sonya-ssi.
And at that moment, I could see it.
The chilling smile forming on Sonya-ssi's lips.
"You can go to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to find your passport, for now, sit down."
"But I'm telling you this man sexually harassed me!!"
"I'm telling you, that's impossible."
As Sonya-ssi denies it, the three pigs seem even more furious, with white steam coming out of their heads.
"Ha!! You'll believe a man's word but not a woman's? This is misogyny! Even though I was clearly sexually harassed, you're looking at me with a gaze that seems to despise the victim! That kind of misogyny—."
"Why would I look at pigs like you? When I'm right here. If I looked at anything, I would have looked at my own ass."
Ohhh
The three pigs hesitate for a moment.
"W...what...!"
Sonya-ssi erases her gentle expression from before and arrogantly crosses her legs.
"You bitches who can't even cross your legs, what's with this talk of visual rape? Do you have [Sex Appeal] or charm? If you were at least cute, I might let it slide. But here we have the Three Little Pigs who aren't even cute, insisting it's sexual harassment. Yu-eun-ssi, did you look at this person's chest?"
"Yes?"
"If you really did, I'd have to take you to an ophthalmologist right now. What if our son-in-law's eyesight gets damaged?"
"H,hey... now... now... what are you—."
"Ah, I'm sorry. I've insulted you too severely. I feel so sorry for the pigs."
"!!"
"Pigs at least provide food so humanity doesn't die, right? What contribution are you 'self-proclaimed women' Three Little Pigs making to humanity?"
Wow... what a damage report...