Newman (7)
“Ugh.”
If I had to sum up my first experience with a Teleportation Circle, it would be this: I'd honestly rather take a carriage.
Carriages were slow, uncomfortable, and left you queasy from the swaying—but at least they were bearable.
Now that my body had grown reasonably sturdy, it wasn't even as miserable as it had been the first time.
The Teleportation Circle was on an entirely different level.
It compressed a full month's worth of carriage-travel agony into a single instant—honestly, it was an excellent way to prove to everyone around you exactly what you'd eaten that day.
That's not a means of travel. That's a method of torture.
By the time we'd finally entered the Academy grounds, I had dredged up enough of my dignity to lift my head, and I swore then and there that I would never use a Teleportation Circle again.
If the alternative was going through that again, I'd take the long carriage ride, thank you very much.
And if even that was too much, I'd sooner walk.
I never want to experience that horror again.
“But, my girl, you do realize you'll have to use that magic again on the way back, don't you?”
Halbae. I noticed.
I'm working very hard to deny reality right now, and you choose that moment to open your mouth?!
“Are you quite all right, my lady?”
‘Yes. And you?’
“Fine. You hanging in there, scrub?”
“This much is nothing at all.”
Watching Karl smile like it was no big deal, I found myself reminded, yet again, of just how obscenely strong this man was.
I'm jealous.
If I keep training, will I someday be able to shrug off this kind of suffering too?
‘Knights are truly impressive.’
“It's because his head is made entirely of muscle, isn't it? Impressive stuff.”
“Why, thank you for the compliment.”
Once I'd barely gathered myself, I headed toward the Newman family's estate, following Alsaetin's lead.
“Welcome, Lady Alrn.”
The moment I arrived at the family's gates, the Newman household's butler was there to receive me, as if he'd been waiting all along.
That was definitely the man who'd been standing in as Cuz Newman's double, wasn't it?
“Please, come inside. The head of the house is expecting you.”
‘Yes. Of course.’
“Got it, creepy butler.”
I just wanted to get inside and sit down.
Not once, even during my most brutal training sessions, had I ever felt this exhausted.
The moment I got back to the dormitory, I was going to throw myself face-first onto my bed and not open my eyes until morning.
For the first time in ages, it felt like I might actually get a full night's sleep.
“Before that, if you would. Might I ask you to hand over your weapon and shield?”
‘I'd rather not.’
“Creepy butler. What exactly are you planning to do with my confiscated weapon? Just imagining it is gross, so hard pass♡ I don't know what kind of perverted fetish you're trying to satisfy with my mace, but no thanks♡ You smell like something weird is about to go down♡”
At my words, the butler's eyebrows sank ever so slightly.
Ah. So he's human after all.
Nobody's perfect at maintaining a poker face.
Really though, why are you so desperate to take my weapon away from me?
Don't even think about taking my Halbae, you musty old relic of a man.
Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not into BL, and I'm definitely not into NTR.
And what if something unexpected happens and I die because Halbae isn't with me? You going to take responsibility for that? Huh?
“My lady—”
“There it is.”
Just as the butler tried to add one more word, Cuz Newman appeared behind him.
“Lady Alrn. I shall escort you personally.”
‘Yes. Thank you for having me.’
“Thanks a bunch, bottom-tier family head.”
I passed the butler—who had stepped aside with a bow—and headed into the estate.
As he guided me through the halls, Cuz Newman told me the story of how he'd obtained the cure.
He had done exactly as I'd told him that day, and sure enough, the miracle potion of healing had been right where I said it would be.
He'd been skeptical at first, he admitted, but after entrusting it to an appraiser, the item had been confirmed as genuine.
“It was truly astonishing. Lady Alrn, you must surely have received the blessing of a god.”
There was an uncharacteristic excitement threading through Cuz's voice as he said it.
Was the fact that his son could finally be cured enough to make even this man giddy?
So he's a hopeless child-fool too. If he and Benedict had a doting-parent showdown, it might actually be a decent match.
No, on second thought, it wouldn't.
That man needs a word far nastier and more severe than 'daughter-fool' to describe him.
“Strictly speaking, there was no need to summon you, my lady—but I thought it best to be cautious. The wording of the oath was rather ambiguous, and I feared it might bring harm upon Lady Alrn, so I had little choice in the matter.”
Cuz Newman claimed he was worried about me, but that was obviously a lie.
This man simply isn't built to worry about anyone outside his own bloodline.
There had to be some gain in it for him.
Even thinking about it on the spot, I could see the obvious benefit: he could unload Agra's Curse onto me.
There's something in it for me as well, so I'll play along—but I can't help being curious.
What exactly is Cuz Newman after?
“This is the room. Please, go in.”
The door opened, and I caught sight of the boy lying on the bed.
Black hair grown long and shaggy, spilling over his shoulders as if it hadn't been cut in months.
Skin gone naturally pale from a prolonged lack of sunlight.
A frame so small it bordered on excessive, even for a boy.
Chester Newman.
There's almost no character in Soul Academy I go out of my way to avoid—but this one is the exception.
I hate Chester.
Why? Because this guy is a goddamn trap.
Back in the day.
I mean, shortly after Soul Academy first launched, Chester was a character nobody knew anything about.
Because unless you cured him of Agra's Curse before the second-year storyline began, he would simply die quietly, without a sound.
I was the very first person to discover that Chester Newman could join the Academy as an NPC.
Back then, obsessed with Soul Academy to the point of shaving years off my own life, I had stumbled upon the hidden conditions for his enrollment.
Flushed with excitement at having unearthed a hidden element no one else knew about, I immediately resolved to complete Chester Newman's route.
And at the end of it, I uncovered the hidden twist.
The fact that this guy wasn't a girl disguised as a boy—he was just a plain, ordinary trap.
You have no idea how badly that blindsided me.
His illustration was gorgeous, his personality was great, his character stats were solid—I'd figured that while he was no Joy, he was more than worthy of being one of my favorites. And then I got ambushed from behind.
That's why, even though Chester was a meta-tier unit, I never touched him again after clearing his achievement.
Seeing him in the flesh, he really is pretty.
Looking like a girl isn't his fault, of course—but from someone whose pure heart got betrayed once, it's a genuine dealbreaker.
“Father. This person is...”
“This is Lady Lucy of House Alrn. She is also the one who will cure your illness.”
“Is that so.”
Chester answered with a smile steeped in resignation, and bowed his head toward me.
He doesn't believe for a second that he can be cured, does he?
Seeing him like that does make me feel a little sorry for him, I'll admit.
I handed Chester the potion I'd received from Cuz Newman on the way here.
“What's this?”
‘Drink it.’
“Drink up. Even a frail little scrub like you should be able to manage that much, right?”
“This is the cure? Haha. If a single bottle like this could cure me—”
‘Could you tell me after you've drunk it?’
“Save the commentary and drink. Why does someone I could snap in one hand talk this much?”
I'm supposedly here to cure him—why does he keep yapping?
Keep flapping those lips a little longer and I might just taunt you into chugging it.
I was thinking that, but mercifully, the Mesugaki skill didn't trigger.
He uncorked the potion and began to drink.
Even though there wasn't much of it, it clearly went down hard—he had to pause several times—but in the end, he managed to choke down every last drop.
“See? Nothing's really changi... huh?”
The instant Chester Newman's eyes flew wide open, a cluster of message windows bloomed before me.
The first one to appear was not from the worthless Chief God.
[Agra is glaring at you.]
As if there were ever a time you weren't staring at me.
You're literally staring at me right now, you know.
Every single time I enter a dungeon, you're sitting there wondering how best to screw me over this time.
If our Chief God is a worthless incompetent, then you're a petty miser. A miser. A miserly little evil god.
And the message that followed it was from Armadi.
Excuse me—how does someone who's supposed to be the Chief God manage to react slower than an evil god?
I genuinely don't get it.
You're also staring at me right now, wondering how best to torment me, you pervert.
You may be even more incompetent than the evil god, but shouldn't you at least show some diligence?
I have plenty more to say, but if I keep dragging you, who knows what you'll do to me, so I'll let it slide.
You're not going to hold this against m...e, are you?
If you sulk over a little grumbling, you'll be no better than that petty evil god. Just so we're clear.
Cautiously, I checked the message Armadi had sent.
[Armadi watches you with a fond, satisfied smile.]
Right? I did well, didn't I?
I fed your sworn nemesis a steaming plate of humiliation!
So hand over the good stuff! The good stuff!
[Ruel's Mace functionality is being unlocked.]
[Divinity will now be imbued into the Mace. This feature grows mightier as the wielder's divinity strengthens.]
Bonus divinity damage?!
Whoa! This is an absolute jackpot!
Hold on—this was supposed to be a special ability that only unlocked on Ruel's Mace at level 60, and you're unlocking it now?!
Yes! I was already fretting over my lackluster damage output, and this solves everything!
With divinity now coursing through Ruel's Mace, not only would my base damage climb—I'd hold an elemental advantage against every servant of the evil gods I'd have to face from here on out.
Nakrad. Just you wait.
I'm going to train myself into the ground, and then I'm coming to smash your skull in.
An apostle of the evil god? One divinity-laced mace and you won't be able to move a muscle!
This alone would have been more than enough to satisfy me—but the message windows kept coming.
Good heavens. Armadi, why are you being so absurdly generous today?
At this rate, is there even going to be anything left of you?
Chief God, you've lost your mind!
More! POUR IT ON!
[The 'Log' function has been unlocked.]
Log?
You mean like a login, as in logging out?
No, but then 'unlocking a function' wouldn't make any sense, would it.
Which leaves only one option.
No way.
I activated the Log function the same way I'd open a quest window.
Sure enough, a single blue window unfurled before my eyes.
Displayed across it was the conversation Chester and I had exchanged just moments ago, along with the messages Armadi and Agra had sent.
Ah. That log.
So you weren't just dumping rewards on me, Armadi—you were pacing it with real finesse, weren't you?
Well, it's true that being too generous all at once does spoil a person.
Truly, you have the eyes of a sage.
I'm not saying this out of fear of retribution—your wisdom genuinely astonishes me, Armadi.
I should be over the moon about the bonus divinity damage, so why does my mood feel so... ambiguous?
Maybe you should just not give it to me at—no. Never mind.
It's nothing at all.
I closed the Log window and looked up to find Chester sitting up in bed, examining his own body with an air of wonder.
“Chester. How is it? You feeling all right?”
“...It's remarkable. My body feels strangely light.”
“Ohhh! Praise be to the gods!”
Watching Cuz sweep his son into a fierce embrace, I found myself thinking that even the cold-blooded nobility of the underworld were, in the end, still fathers.
The old me would have called it envy. But these days, I have someone who'd do that for me too.
For now, I suppose I should step aside and let the two of them have their heart-to-heart.