Chapter 3: Defeat Delusion
Chapter 3: Defeat Delusion
‘……Pee?’
I stared down at the damp seat of my chair, agonizing over the sight.
‘No, that can’t be it.’
Even if I used to be a man, I’ve lived as a woman for six months now. It’s not like I’m completely ignorant of female sexual functions.
However, I had never actually masturbated. Back when I was a man, I had to "release" regularly, but after becoming a woman, the thought didn't really cross my mind… and more than anything, I was a little scared.
I was worried I might hurt myself if I touched something wrong. If I ended up in a situation where I had to go to the hospital, how could I possibly endure the embarrassment?
So, even when I was curious, I held it in. It wasn't that I never got turned on unintentionally during my daily life, but it was rare, and if I just endured it for a bit, it would go away, so it was manageable.
‘I was also afraid of how strange the sensations might feel.’
As a result, despite living in a woman's body, I had reached a bizarre state where I only knew about female pleasure in a dictionary sense.
Things like "squirting" while coming—though that obviously depends on the person—or the fact that women don't have a "cooldown" period, unlike men who need to rest for a bit after finishing.
The things I only knew as theory were now being proven by my own body.
‘W-What… I already came, but the excitement isn't dying down….’
When I lightly brushed against my chest, my nipples became hard again in an instant, and the pleasure tormenting my crotch only subsided for a fleeting moment before beginning to flare up once more.
No matter how I looked at it, I was still horny. I had no way of knowing how many times I’d have to come before I returned to normal.
But if there was one thing for certain, it was that I couldn't stop here. More accurately, I couldn't stop. Suppressing this feeling, taking a shower, and going to bed was something that was only possible in theory.
“Haa… just once. Let’s just go one more time….”
This must be… yeah, a side effect of having my libido bottled up for so long and then suddenly exploding. It’s not like women have no desires at all, so it’s bound to burst after half a year of nothing.
‘Besides, I didn't even masturbate properly just now.’
I’m no expert in sexual relief, but the phenomenon happening to my body… this symptom that felt like a beast in heat… it seemed like I needed to reach a definitive orgasm to resolve it, unlike the weak one I just had.
‘What should I do?’
I recalled how I had just been stimulating myself. Rubbing my thighs together, shaking my braless chest so my nipples would chafe against the fabric…….
‘I didn't even use my hands.’
Even kids who just discovered sex wouldn't come from such pathetic masturbation. Thinking that made me feel suddenly embarrassed.
Sshhh—
First, I pulled down my soaked panties until they were hanging around my thighs, then rolled up my stifling T-shirt to let my hardened pink nipples meet the air of the room.
“Hngh….”
I tentatively brushed a nipple with one palm, and a sweet moan escaped my lips—one so delicate I could hardly believe it came from me.
Captivated by that pleasure, I kept one hand on my breast, spread my legs slightly, and placed the other hand over my lower abdomen.
And then…… I fell into deep thought.
‘Do I have to put something inside?’
Certainly, the women I saw on porn sites used various tools, or at least used their fingers to stimulate that place between their legs… their pussy. No, "shove" would probably be a more accurate term.
But even in this aroused state, my coward instincts didn't stop warning me.
They told me I might get hurt if I carelessly put my fingers in without clipping my nails. They asked if I knew how many bacteria were on my hands. They reminded me that since I was a girl now, I might have a hymen, and what would I do if it tore?
In reality, I didn't have the composure to suddenly clip my nails while this horny, and the bacteria thing did make me anxious.
And worrying about my hymen was for a perfectly rational reason. It wasn't some girlish, erotic manga-like motivation about wanting to give my virginity to a man I loved.
‘If the hymen breaks, there’s… blood. Blood is scary….’
I might be a Hero in my own right, but I was afraid of bleeding myself, even if I wasn't afraid of making an enemy bleed.
“Then, for now…….”
I took off my panties, and without putting anything inside my pussy, I just tapped the area where the clitoris should be with my palm. I took my T-shirt halfway off, exposing my breasts entirely, and stimulated my nipples.
I was all ready, but I felt a strange sense of lack. A feeling that this alone wouldn't be enough to reach a perfect orgasm and resolve this heat all at once.
‘The essential item that must accompany a refreshing jerk-off session is…….’
None other than high-quality spank bank material.
*
Scroll, scroll—
Forty-seven R-19 creative works featuring Magical Girl Floss. I began searching through them to see if there was one that could lead me to a satisfying climax.
If someone asked why it had to be stuff featuring me when there were normal porn videos, erotic manga, or erotic novels out there, I honestly wouldn't have an answer.
‘I don't know. It’s just so hot. A Masochist Whore…….’
It was an excitement I had never felt in my life. Although it was indirect since it was through the internet, I had never experienced being so blatantly sexually harassed by someone before.
Was the fact that someone whose name and face I didn't even know was using me as jerk-off material this arousing?
[[Manhwa] Sending the Masochist Whore on a mission after covering her face in semen]
While it was hard to find any fan art of me on the regular Female Hero Gallery, and the few that existed were crude, there was an endless supply in the Back Alley.
Pure love, rape, molestation, gangbang… there was even Netorare featuring me. And every single one had a sophisticated art style.
I guess I realized that all my fans were gathered here instead of out there.
That wasn't all.
The moment I saw erotic art of me squatting with my legs wide open to show my pussy, or realistic art of someone mercilessly slamming their cock into my hole while slapping my ass, my breath hitched.
[[Novel] The Masochist Whore Who Became the Hero Association’s Public Meat Toilet - Chapter 14]
[[Video] I synthesized a Magical Girl Floss fancam with Western BBC porn.]
[[Audio] From the Magical Girl of Justice to my private Masochist Whore: The Corruption~(Korean)]
There were so many different types of R-19 content that either featured me as the protagonist or focused on those who were ravishing and humiliating me.
Inwardly, I thought that with forty-seven pieces, I could enjoy myself for a month and a half if I used one a day.
“O-Oh……?”
However, reality never goes as expected.
While digging through everything to find the best material to give me the most pleasurable climax and calm my excitement, I ended up looking at more than half of the forty-seven posts.
How much time had passed? The clock, which had pointed to 9:00 PM when I first accessed the Female Hero Gallery Back Alley, was already past midnight and heading toward 1:00 AM.
My whole body was trembling.
Moreover, even though I hadn't made it obvious, I had come weakly a few more times, so the chair was already soaking wet… but a Magical Girl’s superhuman stamina didn't allow for easy exhaustion.
“Haa, haa….”
My method of masturbation had also changed significantly compared to the beginning. I, who had only been tapping my nipples with my fingertips or patting my mons pubis with my palm, was now twisting my nipples and playing with my clitoris.
My nipples, which provided even greater pleasure when pain was added to the existing sensation, and my clitoris, which stood tall and confident as if it were trying to act as a replacement for the cock I used to have.
I tormented both of them mercilessly while taking in all the sexually harassing comments and lewd content featuring me.
[I want to knead that slut’s tits and then take a huge bite out of them.]
[If I saw her in person, I’d grab those twin-tails she tied as handles and shove my cock in her mouth pussy.]
[I want to put my cock in and hit her until her ass turns red, making her howl like a beast.]
Splat, splat….
“Hngh… ugh….”
[I’m gonna shove my tongue in and rape her mouth, making her swallow my dirty spit like it’s holy water.]
[I want to lick her hairless, smooth pussy until she cries and loses all her strength and pees herself.]
[I’m imagining taking her with me on a backpacking trip, and every time she can’t wash, I’ll make her suck my cock to "clean" it.]
Schlick, schlick, schlick, schlick….
“Haang… nngh….”
[3P with Floss by pretending to help her when she’s about to be raped by a villain, then taking her anal.]
[Sending her to a fan signing event after putting a vibrator in her pussy and filling her mouth with semen lol.]
[Fantasizing about Floss waddling toward me with a big belly full of my cum and smiling bashfully.]
Squish…… squelch…….
“Ohhoh… ohhh…!”
Before I knew it, I had already shoved my fingers inside my pussy. As I had feared, there was no blood, but I wasn't in a state where I could afford to worry about that.
My chin lifted on its own. My focus blurred as my eyes lost their way, and thick saliva dripped from my slightly protruding red tongue, just like a real bitch.
My right hand was twisting the nipple of my right breast. I tried to touch the left one just as much to be fair, but since I was right-handed, I naturally ended up kneading the right breast more, which had better sensitivity.
A few fingers of my left hand were flicking my engorged, red clitoris, while the others had already disappeared one or two knuckles deep inside.
In truth, I didn't even know where my G-spot was, and despite being soaking wet, it still just hurt to have fingers in such a narrow hole, but…….
“A-Ahhhnn……♡”
An act I could never have imagined when I was a man. A sensation I could only know now that I was a woman.
Ultimately, the depravity of masturbating by putting my own fingers in my pussy dyed even the pain in the colors of pleasure.
Phut—♡ Phuuuuut—♡ Phut-phut-phut—♡
I hadn't even drunk much water, but the broken faucet between my legs kept leaking juice.
“Ahgh, ahhgh… I-I really have to stop now… I have to go to the Hero Association tomorrow…♡”
After viewing all forty-seven pieces of material and reading the sexually harassing comments.
It was only when 3:00 AM arrived that I finally managed to stand up from the soaked chair and take off my clothes.
I pulled off my sweat-dampened T-shirt and poured water over my body as if washing away something filthy. I also hurriedly gulped down several glasses of water to quench my thirst and replenish my fluids.
Only then.
“……Haa.”
I was finally able to lie down on my bed.
‘Now that I’m out of material, I really need to sleep…….’
However, the masturbation up until now was merely the first round.
‘Hmm, should I do it just one, just one more time before I sleep…?’
I had already used up all the material featuring me in the Back Alley.
But the most powerful material for humans since ancient times was none other than the delusions in one's head.
‘That explosive thief guy who recognized me during the mission and tried to recruit me… what if I fell for the money, but it turned out he hired me for sexual relief instead of as a combatant, and he pulled out his musky cock… how would I respond…?’
By this point, I could roughly grasp my own fetishes or sexual preferences.
‘Since I took the money… I’d have to do it, right? But if I whined about how much I hated it… w-would he take me by force…?♡’
‘I’m unofficially the strongest Hero, but to be pinned down by just some middle-aged guy… only able to moan….’
‘What if I can’t even resist and get creampied so many times… that I end up with the face of a melting bitch…?’
I… apparently, I like being defeated.
A situation where I’m being messed up by someone’s overwhelming power or blackmail, resisting and resisting, only to eventually fall from a Hero to a mere bitch and be conquered.
A powerful villain, a civilian who caught my weakness, or even a terrifying monster.
‘What if I lose to a powerful villain I’ve never seen before…?’
‘What if a civilian who isn't even a threat finds out my identity and blackmails me…?’
‘What if the sight of me sacrificing myself for my comrades and being mated with by a monster in heat is broadcast live to the whole world….’
Just fantasizing about such situations made me feel like I could spend a whole week lost in masturbation, let alone a day.
If just the delusions were like this.
What if I actually suffered such a defeat in reality?
What if I could pretend to be defeated and safely enjoy that situation?
Phut—♡ Phut-phut—♡
“E-Ehehe……?”
I came just from the thought of ‘What if—’. A different-colored stain was left on one corner of the bed.
Even so, it was embarrassing to soak the bedsheets, so I pulled the tissue box from the desk and placed it by my head.
“Hgh-iiiiiiit…….”
……In the end, it turned into a foolish act where I couldn't even protect the bed and just wasted tissues.
It was an hour after the morning sun had risen that I finally closed my eyes.
Creak—
At that moment, the door opened, and someone stepped into my room.