Chapter 480: Proof of Existence (68)
Chapter 480: Proof of Existence (68)
"Absolutely not!"
It was a night draped in deep darkness. On a gentle slope, I was raising my voice at a woman.
It was less a refusal and more a scream of agony.
Despite my desperate tone, pleading that she must never do such a thing, the woman offered no reply.
She simply watched me with a gaze that was lonely yet tender.
The faint smile she wore was so beautiful it was heartbreaking.
That beauty only made me squeeze my vocal cords tighter as I cried out even more fervently.
"No, no, no... You're staying here?! Look at the horizon! It's a Great Raid of immeasurable scale... If you stay behind alone, you will die!"
"And if I don't stay?"
In a tone filled with compassion, the woman asked me back with a sorrowful smile.
"Then how many people will die? And what will become of humanity's future without them?"
"We'll find a way... we'll figure something out...!"
I had discarded reason long ago. Logically, the woman might have been right.
If we were routed here, it wouldn't end with merely losing tens of thousands of elite troops. The entire Eastern Front would collapse, and humanity would have to face the massive army of the Dark Cult charging from the East without even a moment to prepare a final stand.
That would be the end.
Despite this obvious conclusion, I was throwing a tantrum like a child.
"Please, don't do this. You know better than anyone... that you are the most precious person to me. How—how am I supposed to live without you...?"
"You are more precious to me than anyone else as well."
It was a confession uttered without a moment's hesitation.
I was momentarily struck dumb, forced to stare at her with a pale face.
The moonlight poured down.
The clear light spilling through the darkness seemed to exist solely for the woman before me. It had been like this once before, when we were drinking and shared a kiss.
But why, why today of all days?
My voice trembled with resentment. I wanted to say something, but the moisture welling up in my throat choked me, making my chest feel tight.
A soft touch brushed down my cheek.
It was a hand filled with affection and comfort.
Before I knew it, the woman's pale pink eyes were right before mine.
"That is why I cannot let you become a fugitive or a coward... I know, Ian. I know that you would one day regret that choice."
"...Why, why?"
I could only spit out fragmented questions.
Emotions pushed to their limit had long since paralyzed my brain. I needed time just to form a proper sentence.
Eventually, an outpouring of words, stained with despair and pain, followed.
"Why does it have to be you?"
"I wonder."
"Is this what fate is?! Is the Will of the great Heavenly God nothing more than this!"
"...Ian."
"Just once!"
The shout that burst forth was so loud and high it made my ears ring.
Without even realizing it, I began to pound my chest. I wished my ribs would break and bruise. Perhaps then, my heart wouldn't hurt so much.
My eyes burned, rimmed with red. The emotions I couldn't vent turned into heat and flowed down.
Did I still have tears left to shed?
Once again, I learned something new from this woman.
I was both grateful and resentful for that fact, and a wet scream tore from my throat.
"Can't you just allow it, just this once...? I've lost everything... everyone! Everyone I've ever loved! And now, now I have to lose you too?!"
"Ian..."
"WHY ME, OF ALL PEOPLE!!!"
Tears streamed down, soaking my cheeks.
Why did the sound of my sobbing keep leaking out?
Having reached an age where I could no longer wail at the top of my lungs, I succumbed to the torrent of emotion and collapsed to my knees.
"Why does it have to be me?! It could have been anyone else! Why only the people I love... Why am I the only one who has to lose every single precious person...!"
A man clinging to the edge of despair was sobbing.
I once thought my emotions had been worn away. But fate, as it always did, had come to ruthlessly shatter my pride.
In the most cruel way possible.
Who could possibly fathom what was in my heart?
The woman wore a smile that looked as if it might shatter at any moment. She lowered her upper body slightly, and a whisper, equally damp with emotion, followed.
"I'm sorry, Ian. For being yet another person to hurt you..."
"...If there is, if there is a God."
Sobbing, I spat out the question I had always harbored.
A heavy dampness settled in the air.
"Why won't He save us? Why did He grant me such a cruel fate...?"
No answer came.
Instead, the woman silently took me into her arms.
A warm heat, a sweet scent, a soft touch.
Was this really the last time for all of it?
Unable to bear that reality, I asked again through ceaseless tears.
"Please, please answer me..."
"I wonder."
It was a phrase I had heard many times.
God does not answer. Therefore, even those who serve Him find it difficult to speak with certainty. It was a fact I had heard so often it was practically engraved in my mind.
But today, those words couldn't have been more resentful.
Was I supposed to serve someone as God who threw me into the middle of a fire and refused to even answer?
Having lost my reason, I poured out my hatred recklessly.
"How—how can I not resent God?! I hate this... He says He loves us, so how can He give us such miserable fates...!"
But my words were soon cut short.
My head was buried deep into the woman's embrace.
It was almost hard to breathe. Naturally, I couldn't continue speaking.
I could have pulled away if I really wanted to.
But I didn't want to do that at all. The strength rapidly drained from my body, which had been wound tight with tension.
With a sorrowful smile, the woman tightened her hold on me.
"Why us, I wonder? I was betrayed by the family I trusted most, and I was just waiting for the day I would die to atone for my sins, covered in wounds... Why did I have to meet you, and fall in love like this... I've come to like you so much that I feel like I could do anything for you... and yet, I end up making a decision that hurts you."
"I, I..."
Unable to even form proper words, I wept silently in her arms.
The Saintess's clothes were being soaked by my tears.
Then, a warm and gentle voice saturated my ears.
"Ian, you are my salvation and my blessing."
I wanted to say that she was the same for me, but my vocal cords, drowned in tears, wouldn't obey.
The whisper, full of affection, continued. Like a soft tapping on my chest, she sang in a clear and beautiful voice.
"Through you, I learned what love is. I found happiness again, and I gained the courage to trust someone once more... That is why I am truly grateful, Ian. Grateful that I could meet you."
"I, I..."
"How about you?"
With a faint, tearful smile, the woman looked at me quietly.
"Do you regret meeting me? Is that why you still hate and loathe His will so much?"
How could I tell a lie before those pale pink eyes?
In the end, I could no longer scream. I simply sobbed quietly.
"To—to me too... you were a miracle and a blessing... But how, how can this be happening...?"
But wounds do not heal quickly. I was someone who had resented God for a long time.
There was still plenty of bitterness left.
In a cracked voice, I poured out my resentment to her.
"It's too—it's too cruel... I finally found happiness, and now it's being snatched away like this...!"
My tearful plea continued.
Words I had heard once before inadvertently mixed into my appeal.
"Am I still supposed to show 'Obedience'...? Is this—is this really the Will of God?"
The woman gazed at me in silence for a while.
Then, she let out a soft, airy chuckle. She gently pushed me back and, with a kind look, tucked her hands behind her back.
Then, her pale pink eyes turned toward the sky.
The moon was bright.
Just as it had been on all the nights I spent with her.
"Ian, remember what I told you once? That even if you face painful and difficult things, you must show 'Obedience'."
It was an old memory.
Long ago, before we had become close, she had said something incredibly rude during a late-night drinking session.
To tell a noble who had lost his family and territory to show 'Obedience.'
I had assumed she said it to intentionally make me dislike her. That was likely true. However, her reprimand probably hadn't been entirely a lie.
A snow-white finger touched my forehead.
"Is your fate miserable and wretched? Are the tragedies and trials that have befallen you so cruel that you want to collapse and give up? Do you want to run and run, closing your eyes and plugging your ears?"
Feigning a solemn voice, the Saintess's finger slowly moved downward.
Her slender index finger pointed to the area just below my chest, near my solar plexus.
"Then, only for you, whom I love so dearly, I shall tell you the Will of God."
With that single gesture.
As she traced a path with her finger, a vertical line appeared.
And then, a sweet whisper followed.