Chapter 404: Gold and Silver (9)
Chapter 404: Gold and Silver (9)
Seria’s eyes fluttered open.
Her vision, still heavy with sleep, remained blurred. Her hazy mind struggled to keep pace with her honed senses.
Where am I?
In the puddle of memories where dust motes drifted, Seria tilted her head in confusion.
Her recollections of the past were severed, as if cut clean through. Specifically, the memories from just before she lost consciousness.
Even with her mind in a fog, Seria began to methodically retrace her steps.
Senior Ian had visited her bedroom.
Seria, who had been enjoying a pleasant moment with the dolls made in his likeness, had been flustered.
And after that...
The memories, settled like clear water, began to find their place one by one. As the mud vanished, the puddle revealed the hidden truth.
Right. Senior Ian had brought up that bitch.
Seria had been furious. She hadn't been able to maintain her reason. In her madness, she had pressured him.
And then...
As each memory resurfaced, the color began to drain from Seria’s face. It didn't take long for her naturally fair skin to turn deathly pale.
She bolted upright.
She had to explain. No, before that, she had to beg for forgiveness.
She had essentially forced herself on Senior Ian. And she had done so without even confessing her feelings first.
If someone had done something similar to her, she would never have forgiven them.
Her heart hammered against her ribs more violently than ever before. Her unfocused eyes and her limbs, twitching with excessive tension, bore witness to her overwhelming anxiety.
She felt like screaming.
That is, until she heard the voice of the man she yearned for.
"Are you awake?"
Seria froze, her body turning stiff as a board.
Her eyes, filled with disbelief, slowly turned toward the side. There sat a man with the same face as always.
It was Senior Ian.
Seria stared blankly for a few seconds before looking down in a sudden panic.
She was ashamed.
And she was sorry.
She felt so utterly disgraced that she couldn't even think of crying. She opened her mouth, her words stumbling out.
"Th-th-that is... I-Ian, Senior!"
"Yeah, I'm here."
Ian’s voice was surprisingly composed. Perhaps it was because he’d had time to process things while she was unconscious.
Seria felt like biting her tongue and dying of shame. In fact, she actually did bite it. Because she was so flustered, she let out a sharp yelp as her teeth clamped down on her tongue for the first time in ages.
"Th-that... ugh, I...!"
Images flashed before Seria’s eyes one after another.
Among them, the scene that left the most powerful impact was Ian’s hand axe striking her chin.
It wasn't a verbal response. Yet, it was an answer so blatant and cruel.
Any other woman might have cursed Ian. No matter how out of her mind she had been, Seria had been pouring out her heart. To meet that with violence instead of conversation was an insult.
But Seria couldn't bring herself to resent the senior she loved. Instead, she felt as though everything was her own fault.
Because I'm ugly.
Because I'm not charming.
Right, because I'm inferior to my sister.
Before she knew it, clear tears were dripping from Seria’s blue eyes.
"Ki... huff... kill me......."
It was a plea born of a mixture of shame, despair, and a sense of defeat.
She wasn't being hyperbolic. Seria bowed her head like a criminal awaiting the blade of the guillotine. She covered her face with both hands to hide the overflowing tears.
"Please, sob... please just kill me. I can't... I can't take it anymore."
"Seria."
"It's my fault."
At Ian’s sigh-laden call, Seria grit her teeth as if hardening her resolve, though her expression remained utterly pitiful.
"It's because I'm... I'm pathetic... I'm sorry, Senior Ian. Sob... I've been nothing but a burden from start to finish."
The man watched the girl in silence.
And so, the girl cried endlessly. As if she intended to cry until she died of dehydration.
"It's disgusting, isn't it? I can't even speak properly, and I'm timid. I don't even have friends, and I'm lowborn. A woman who's inferior to her sister in every way suddenly goes and confesses to you..."
"Seria..."
"I'm sorry for daring to harbor such feelings for you. B-but from now on, I'll stay out of your sight... No, if I could just stay by your side..."
"Seria!"
Only after the man raised his voice, unable to bear the stifling atmosphere, did the girl finally shut her mouth. Even then, she still couldn't meet his eyes.
Ian let out a long sigh and spoke.
"I'm not that good of a person. There are plenty of other men in the world besides me."
"No, Senior Ian, you're the only one."
Seria asserted this even while sobbing. Her tone held not a shred of doubt.
"When everyone else hated me, you stayed by my side. And you saved me."
"Anyone could have done that. It's just that I happened to get close to you first."
"No, they couldn't."
Clear droplets traced paths down the girl's cheeks once more. Seria didn't even seem to think of wiping them away anymore.
"If it's not Senior Ian, I don't want it. Senior Ian is my everything."
There was no opening in that firm, simple statement. Ian realized that Seria was being entirely sincere.
So, he hesitated for a long time. He didn't know what to say to her. Furthermore, he didn't know what kind of future he should choose for himself.
Suddenly, the portrait of a certain woman flashed through Ian’s mind. The woman who had been the first to bare her heart to him.
Finally, Ian let out a heavy sigh.
"Seria, the truth is, I'm trash."
At that harsh word, her blue eyes widened. Seria’s lips even trembled as if she were about to protest.
But Ian was faster.
"There's a woman who confessed to me. I told her to wait, but then I wavered and even ended up sleeping with another woman. I've already messed around with three different women. I'm indecisive, dense, and honestly, I'm a coward."
Seria fell silent again at the sudden outpouring of his confession. This was the truth Ian had been hiding. Perhaps he had wanted to keep it buried forever. It was his true self, which he hadn't been able to tell anyone except Elsie.
"To be honest, I'm scared. I'm afraid that the more serious a relationship becomes, the more things I'll have to protect... I'm supposed to save the world, after all."
The words he spat out like a lament seemed almost irritable. Or perhaps he looked burdened by the weight of it all, exhausted by a long struggle.
"Can you still like me even after hearing this? I... I can't choose anyone anyway. Not until I drive a blade through Delphirem's heart."
Seria suddenly thought of a certain man. A man who looked exactly like her beloved senior, but whose eyes held emotions that were utterly worn down.
Her senior was starting to resemble that man. When had those eyes, once sparkling with affection and grit, become so drenched in fatigue?
Even in this moment, Seria couldn't help but feel an overwhelming pity for Ian.
Her answer wouldn't change.
"Yes."
Though her voice was thick with moisture, Seria answered without hesitation.
"I will still like you. Always."
Because you are my first and last love.
Facing those blue eyes that had regained their light, Ian wore a bitter smile.
"Then... just wait a little longer."
He would answer Seria’s feelings only after the fate of the Yurdina family was decided. Ian made that vow to himself as he pulled Seria into his arms.
Right, this is how Seria should be.
A cute, lovely, and innocent junior. Though her obsession was excessive at times, Ian truly liked this side of her.
He was relieved she had returned to her senses. That was Ian’s honest thought.
Still, well...
Knocking her out with an axe had been a bit much. He was just glad she seemed to have forgotten about it.
After Ian left, life finally returned to Seria’s face.
It felt like a dream. She had been certain she would be abandoned, but she had actually been held in his arms.
She didn't mind if they didn't go any further for now. He had told her to wait. In other words, didn't that mean she still had a chance?
That bitch might be ahead for now, but Seria had plenty of time.
Someday.
Yes, someday.
Humming to herself, Seria buried her face in the blood-stained clothes lying in a corner of the room. They were the clothes Ian had been wearing when he fought the wolf-like demonic beasts in her stead.
At first, she had intended to discard them, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to do it in the midst of the hectic preparations for the Hunting Festival. After that, she found she no longer had a reason to throw them away.
Ian’s clothes smelled of memories. The scent of the day he first saved her.
Senior Ian, covered in dust and soaked in blood. He had been so handsome.
Seria inhaled the scent of blood lingering on the uniform, her thoughts turning hazy.
And so, she didn't notice.
The black mist rising behind her back.
[Blood... you cannot deceive the blood.]
[You are a monster. You will realize it eventually. In the not-so-distant future...]
A sinister, metallic cackle echoed through the room.
Yet Seria didn't seem to care in the slightest. Her expression remained peaceful, as if she couldn't hear a thing.
The black smoke, seemingly tired of her indifference, soon collapsed into mud. Even as it seeped into the floorboards, the unpleasant laughter did not stop.
[I know, I can smell it... the master of your blood is coming. From the far, far south...]
Instead, a cry of pure ecstasy lingered like an afterimage.
['Jealousy' is coming!]
Soon, the mud vanished, leaving behind only a wisp of white smoke.
On the day I met Senior Delphine after a long time.
I confessed my worries about Seria to her, and Senior Delphine just snorted and said to me:
"Sleep."
It was a response consisting of a single syllable. Failing to grasp her intent, I had to ask a dumbfounded follow-up question.
"Pardon?"
Then, Senior Delphine kindly provided a supplementary explanation.
"She says it's her wish, so just sleep with her for a night... Wouldn't that solve it?"
It was a brilliant solution that I, for one, could not possibly understand.