In the State of Qin (3)
Squeeeeak. Squeeeeak.
"Can't exactly leave you inside a building that's about to come down, so I'll carry you out myself."
"Uuuuugh."
Hmm, something damp had pooled on the floor. Best to pretend I didn't notice.
The copper pillar was the big central one, and something told me that if I yanked it out, the whole place would come crumbling down.
Whoosh — sploosh!
I hurled the luggage far into the distance, though I'd need a change of clothes. This outfit was unbearably uncomfortable.
"Now that I look, these things went and stole my clothes again?"
Every single time I visited, my underwear and garments vanished? Yeah, that was definitely suspicious. Time to dig out something fresh to wear.
"The old wretch is inside! Everyone, stay alert — we must take her alive!"
"Yes, sir!"
Apparently quite a crowd had shown up, given all the racket. At least I'd changed my clothes first. That was a close one — nearly put on a nude show.
First, let's start by pulling out that big central pillar!
Shnk.
Ooh! The center was completely hollow!
Screeeech, crackle-crack...
Huh? Hold on? I was supposed to go outside first — why did I just yank it out?
Da-da-da-dash!
"Damn it!"
I sprinted for the exit with everything I had.
"The old wretch!"
"Move aside! It's collapsing!"
Why did they keep calling me an old wretch, the nerve? A wretch should be old and hideous, disguising itself as something pretty! I was just plain pretty, you hear me!
Shnk, padap-pok, WHUMP.
My body's base specs were truly excellent! Even without raw strength, I was light enough to trample right over people and keep running. Sorry, guy whose face I stepped on.
"Gah! The old wretch is escaping!"
WHACK.
Whoops — my fist flew out on reflex. What was with the constant 'old wretch' business? Begging for a beating, that's what.
Still, these city walls were seriously tall? And there were far too many people even outside the gates...
"Maybe I'll just vault over the wall?"
Conveniently, there was a nice long bamboo pole right over there? Time to try pole vaulting!
Da-da-da-dash!
If I came up a little short, I could just nudge myself over with telekinesis. Whatever.
THUNK.
The pole planted perfectly into the ground.
"Waaaaah!"
Using anything other than telekinesis to float through the air was absolutely terrifying. That tickling sensation beneath me was such a thrilling feeling!
Tap!
The top of the city wall.
"Wow? It's an actual labyrinth in here?"
Given that the Emperor had been here, it was presumably the imperial palace, but the corridors wound around like a maze?
"Well then, that shiny spot over there has to be the most expensive place, obviously!"
Way in the distance, a row of gleaming, golden-yellow buildings sparkled on and on! Let's go! To the paradise of gold!
Even if there was no gold, there'd be copper. It'd come in handy later when I needed wire and motors.
"She's over there!"
"Catch her!"
And how exactly were they planning to catch me from down there?
"Bring a ladder! No — loose arrows!"
Huh? Guess I'd better scoot?
Fwip-fwip-fwip!
No helping it. Off I pelted, huffing and puffing.
"Charge! It's gold!"
The golden palace was right up ahead! Yuha-haha!
Pata-pat.
Jump!
"Huh? So this was the top of the wall?"
THOOM.
Oof. So even with my weight, jumping down from that height made a sound like that? Felt like my brains got knocked loose.
"Heh-heh-heh. Now then, what does the Emperor's own house have inside~?"
BANG.
Oh! Even the chairs were gold? It was gold from wall to wall! All mine now! Ooh, there was even something like a command baton made of gold?
Rummage, rummage.
"Hm? What's this?"
A square seal? It seemed to be made of stone, but wasn't the box it came in worth more? Might as well take the whole thing.
Plop, rattle-rattle.
"Oh? That really is my face!"
So the thing they'd dug up as some ancient record was basically a portrait painted on silk? I'd take that too~
Hee-hee-hee, got everything. Now for the fun part — pulling out the pillars!
"Yu-hahaha! It's all MINE!"
Shoosh, shoosh.
Pillars vanishing whole — the magic of it! If anyone had been watching, they'd have called it the magic trick of the century. Shame!
Eeeeeeeeek.
Yeesh, more of those scary noises from the buildings.
I hopped over the wall and out. Honestly, why did they plant bamboo all over the place at such convenient heights? No idea, but thanks.
Back in the day, I used to play tag with the kids all night long, hopping over city walls like this?
Any building of decent size had copper pillars, so I pulled them all out, every one.
"Hmm. Why not do a little sightseeing while I'm at it?"
Once I was outside, there didn't seem to be any real reason to head straight home.
"But is this actually money?"
They looked like round copper coins, with a square hole punched through the middle — exactly like old Korean cash coins?
I'd have to sneak a peek at how people spent their money at a market somewhere.
"Which way shall I go!"
The south was warm, so there'd be plenty of people to the south!
I walked for a week, and saw not a single person — not even a proper road.
Hm? Now that I thought of it — what if the Qin started a war or something? Well, the kids would handle it, wouldn't they?
If they couldn't manage at least this much, then all their effort over the years would've been for nothing...
Tap-tap, tap-tap.
Mm, these new shoes were really something? The metal studs gripping the ground — I loved them. If only the sole were a touch firmer.
The studs pressed right into the soles of my feet. Best acupressure massage ever.
Shaaaaa...
"Hm? A river?"
Then if I followed it downstream, I was bound to run into something eventually?
"Mm... is there any reason to walk, though?"
Just cut down one big log and float down like a raft. Easy.
Bob-bob, wobble-wobble.
I badly underestimated log-riding at first. I hopped on without a second thought, spun round and round, and nearly pitched straight into the water.
So I gave up and was now steering it downstream with telekinesis. I'd considered just flying, but this had more romance to it.
"If anyone saw this, wouldn't I look like some legendary martial arts master?"
It was getting fairly dark — any lights to be seen anywhere?
"Oh? Quite a lot of boats!"
I'd finally found a place where people lived! Plenty of boats moored, too — seemed I'd come to the right spot.
Tap-tap, tap-tap.
Hopping nimbly from moored boat to moored boat, I finally reached the shore.
TANG.
"Gah!"
The moment I landed on the riverbank, there was a man standing right there.
"Mother of—!"
Ah, he startled! Who goes fishing at a ferry landing in the dead of night without making a sound!
"Wh-who goes there?"
"I'm traveling. What's this place called?"
"Just a riverside inn, miss."
Oh! An inn! Wasn't that a place where you could eat and sleep?
"Wonderful! Just what I've been looking for."
"Then head up that hill over there. It's noisy with all the guests, but there should at least be a room free."
"Okay! Thank you!"
Wow, lots of people here. Perfect for a little eavesdropping, wasn't it?
Clatter-clatter, hubbub-hubbub.
Oh. The lively atmosphere spilled right out the door?
Clunk.
"..."
"..."
Really now? Everyone? You were chatting away so merrily a second ago, and suddenly you're silent? You're making the person who just walked in feel awfully awkward.
"Gulp..."
"Good... heavens..."
Hm...? What now?
Scrape, plop.
I just sat down at an empty table — surely there wasn't a waiting list or anything?
So why wasn't anyone taking my order?
"Excuse me! Aren't you going to take my order?"
"Y-yes! Yes! Right away!"
The man who'd been standing there gaping like a fish answered — was he the owner, then?
"..."
How was I supposed to know if you just stood there? Tell me what's good and what rooms you have, and then I can order!
"Haah..."
"Heeh..."
"I'll have whatever food is fine, a bottle of wine, and do you have a room?"
"Huuuh..."
Was he broken? What was wrong with him?
"Excuse me!"
"Yes!"
"Do you remember what I just said?"
"What did you say?"
Had he come down with short-term memory loss?
"Whatever food's fine, one bottle of wine! And I asked if you had a room to sleep in!"
"Yes! We have everything! One moment, please!"
Hey? What about good rooms and bad rooms? What was he in such a rush for, sprinting off like that?
"Heh-heh. I honestly thought she wasn't human."
"You're telling me."
"There'll be an uproar in the city once word gets around."
"I half took her for a goddess or a fairy descended from heaven."
Oh, please. Oh — so they were saying I was pretty? And here I thought I'd done something wrong. Well, hopefully this wouldn't mean more tiresome business.
Trouble, always trouble — everywhere I went, drama followed.
"Here's your food and wine, miss!"
"Give me your best room."
"Yes, of course!"
Not that it could be that clean, but they'd presumably pick the least grimy one.
I asked for whatever, and whatever is what I got. Stir-fried vegetables? Fine, I'd been born looking like a herbivore, but I distinctly preferred meat!
And the wine bottle was tinier than a thimble. I could blow across the empty thing like a horn.
Glug-glug.
"Ahhh~"
Oh! The wine had tasted sweet lately, hadn't it? Was I developing a taste for alcohol?
"Heheh..."
"Just looking at her makes me happy..."
"I'd give anything to hold her hand just once!"
"Go on then, go say something to her!"
"With that face?"
"Urk."
Ugh, such simpering fools. I'd go up to my room and munch on some jerky instead.
"Innkeep!"
"Yes!"
"I'm heading up — when do I settle the bill for the room and food?"
"Some guests pay after, but we'd be grateful if you paid first!"
They even let people pay later? I could just slip out the window and they'd never catch me?
"Aren't you afraid I'll run off if I pay later?"
"Inns like this only ever see merchants, miss. Someone traveling for pleasure all alone, like yourself — that's a rare thing. Heh-heh."
So travel wasn't commonplace here yet? Back home we had an Eunha Inn along every highway, so people took trips all the time.
"What currency do you take, by the way?"
"Ban Liang coins are best, miss."
Ah. That was the writing on the coins, then — 'Ban Liang.' I'd only learned the spoken language, not the script, so it hadn't clicked.
"I'll pay now, then."
"Thank you kindly!"
"Where's my room?"
So the man's face lit up when I offered to pay first — apparently deadbeat customers were more common than I'd thought.
As I followed the innkeep upstairs, I noticed something odd: the only footsteps echoing were mine.
Step... step...
"Gulp..."
"Haah..."
Well, well. I really needed to get the first floor emptied out, and fast.
Was it my clothes? Could a bit of visible midsection really be that provocative? Considering how thoroughly I'd bundled up in the imperial capital — not a sliver of skin showing — maybe it was?
"Here we are, miss."
"Oh?"
"This is our special suite for the nobles who drop by now and then — but for you, young miss, we'll make an exception. Ha-ha."
"Thank you! Oh, right! Another jar of wine, please."
Something about it slid down so smoothly — maybe I really was a drinker after all.
"A jar, not a bottle — did I hear that right?"
"Yes. Bottles are much too small."
"Ah..."
When I drank back in the Yumin Autonomous District, it took a whole jar before my liver even noticed. People's vessels here were just too small.
Oh! Right — wasn't that why they said the land was vast, making them a Great Country, but the hearts were narrow, making them a Small Country — and put together, it made them exactly China?
THUD.
"Huff, huff."
"Oh — was it heavy? Sorry about that."
"N-no, not at all. Huff. Just call if you need anything."
"Okay~"
The bed was clean, the room was tidy — China was slowly turning into a place fit for people to live, wasn't it?
Tiled roofs and all... Wait. Oh no, this was bad? I'd introduced cement far too early, and now traditional hanok houses had vanished without a trace!
Well, wiping out Gojoseon was the bigger crime, so... whatever.
Glug-glug.
Don't care! Time for a drink! They'd given me a wine cup no bigger than a thimble too. I'd just drink straight from the jar.
Nom-nom.
Jerky truly was the king of snacks!
Clunk.
"The windows have gotten proper too, ha-ha. Things really have improved."
They'd even fitted paper or cloth over the windows? Being by the river, the view outside was lovely~
Ancient times really were wonderful. The air was clean, and with no artificial lights, the surroundings were actually brighter at night.
The cliff-like mountains lining the river stood out clearly, the stars sparkled overhead, and between the chirping crickets and the occasional birdsong, the whole scene had such atmosphere!
FWOOMP!
"Yaaah! You scared me!"
Jeez. Something the size of a house came swooping out of nowhere and nearly gave me a heart attack.
"Hooo-hoo."
"An owl?"
What was it? Horns? Feather tufts stuck up over its eyes like eyebrows, and this thing...
"You sleepy or something? Hee-hee-hee-ha!"
The little fellow had the drowsiest eyes.
"Hoo!"
"PWAHAHA!"
Flap, flap.
But this fellow was enormous. Was it the feathers? With one lazy flap of its wings, its span had to be bigger than I was tall?
"Hey! Quit blowing dust everywhere — hold still!"
Thump.
It seemed to have come begging for food, so I fished out some raw meat for it. Jerky felt wrong to share, you know?
Snatch, tear, snatch, tear.
It gripped the meat in its talons and tore into it with surprising dexterity. No exaggeration — its feet were the size of my hands.
At that size, wasn't this thing the type that ate people?
"By the way. Why do you look so fierce, huh?"
"Hoo-hoo!"
"Are you actually understanding me and answering back?"
I'd found myself a drinking buddy. A drowsy-eyed owl — adorable!