In the Land of Qin (1)
Daehan's population had been growing steadily, but lately it had hit a plateau. What could possibly be missing?
“Hmm...”
Why isn't the population going up? Food is still overflowing, isn't it? It's not like we have plagues running rampant like Europe.
Take Sinsi alone — 2.69 million people. Sure, that includes all the surrounding regions, but still. That's insane.
Rome at the height of its glory barely cracked a million.
“Hmm...”
“Um...”
“Say something stupid and I'll smack you. Think before you speak.”
“Yes, ma'am...”
If I didn't warn him in advance, this punk would seriously blurt out anything.
“Um...”
Hm? Did he actually come up with something?
“Go ahead.”
“What about mandatory marriage and child quotas?”
“...?”
What did I just hear?
THWACK
“Ack!”
THWACK
“Gwahk...”
THWACK
“S-sowwy...”
Guess I misheard him. Old age must be catching up — my ears are going blurry.
“Hm? What was that?”
“Nothing, ma'am.”
“Right. I thought so.”
We kept the roads perfectly straight so the city wouldn't turn into a tangled mess, and every house and field was laid out in neat grids. Back in the day, women used to pop out eight kids at a time without breaking a sweat.
Could it be that with so much to do these days, people just aren't doing the nighttime activities anymore?
“What do people do for fun at night lately?”
“Hmm. They drink at home, play games, that sort of thing?”
“They don't sleep?”
“Back then there was no oil for lamps, so everyone went to bed in the dark — but now there's plenty to go around.”
Well, would you look at that. So even making life comfortable causes problems like this?
“Then how do we get people to do more nighttime activities?”
“Nighttime... activities?”
“You know. The game where a man and a woman make a baby.”
“Hard to say? I suppose the wives would have to look pretty?”
Hm? Skincare? Cosmetics? What's out there? Maybe we could try risqué clothing?
And so, once again, I ended up being the model.
“Hmm... is this right?”
“Yes! I asked around — what kind of outfit would people want to see their wives or lovers in.”
“Can't they just look without you wearing it? Why does it have to be put on?”
“They absolutely have to be worn!”
Hmm... I sense a little personal interest from our dear Secretary here. Why is she looking at me so lecherously, woman to woman?
Well, it's just the two of us, so I suppose I can try it on.
Rustle rustle
“Oh my! Oh my, oh my, oh my!”
I'm the one getting dressed here. Why are YOU freaking out?
“Hmm, the top's decent, but the bottom is way too short. My underwear's going to show.”
A full-blown miniskirt! It barely covered a third of my thighs. One bend at the waist and everything underneath would be on full display.
“That's what the safety pants are for.”
Right. The safety pants that look exactly like underwear.
“And what's this? Where did pants come from?”
So the skirt's cut short on purpose so you can take it off and put pants back on? They look a little tight, though?
“It was a struggle getting them tailored exactly to your figure, Haneul-nim. Try them on.”
“Okay.”
“Careful. They might tear.”
“Yep yep.”
Hm, these feel sort of like socks? Some stretch to them — cotton, I think?
...Length's a bit short, isn't it?
“Haaaah, haaaah...”
“Aren't these a little too short?”
“Nnngh. They're perfect!”
The socks stop halfway up? The skirt covers a third of the thigh and the socks come up about halfway, so there's this little sliver of bare skin showing?
“See? It leaves a gap.”
“Haaaah, haaaah...”
What is wrong with you? Why are you drooling like a pervert while staring?
“So people should wear outfits like this?”
“Yes! I'm sure it'll work, guaranteed!”
“Well, whatever. Let's have the tailors survey this style and start producing them regularly.”
How fascinating.
Truly fascinating.
Why exactly are the babies multiplying like this?
There was an influx of natives, sure, but the population was definitively climbing beyond before. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me.
“Why did Mongol get dragged into someone else's fight?”
“The plains where the Hu dynasty once stood turned out to be quite livable, apparently. They settled there, and since it was so close, they ended up clashing.”
The middle reaches of the Nakang River? These nomads are dumping their nomadic blood anywhere they can and settling down?
“Nomads settling down? Now that's a novel sight.”
“They split right down the middle. One group went north, the other south.”
So the true nomads kept roaming while the farming types all gathered in the south?
Some instinct must drive them to spread in every direction, but were we just holding the east down too tightly?
“Hmm. The real problem is that the five nations are banding together?”
“Yes. Should we call it unification?”
Even while clashing with Mongol, the state of Qin was seizing the momentum. Was there something worthwhile out west?
I should go take a look at some point.
“Well. If it's fate, let it play out. We just have to always be prepared. Understand?”
“Yes. Have you seen the report from the Ministry of War?”
“Mm. A military academy? They're going to train professional commanders?”
Until now the army had been organized loosely — squad leaders, centurions, chiliarchs, myriarchs — but apparently they were about to attempt something called a formal command structure.
“A systematized military is a good thing.”
“Yes. Drafting the plan made them realize how ad hoc everything had been until now, they said.”
Looking over the proposal, they'd put real effort into it — a signal system, specialized branches, the works.
“Make sure there's no discrimination among the soldiers. They are the spear and shield that protect this nation. Other departments can have their problems, but the army must never, ever have any.”
“Understood, Haneul-nim.”
At this point we're clearly a monarchy, so can't we tinker with the politics a bit? I've specifically had them seriously analyze Socrates, the Hundred Schools of Thought, all of it.
“By any chance, do the scholars ever talk about political systems?”
“Did you deliberately import the ideas of philosophers from other countries, Haneul-nim?”
Oh ho! This punk? That look is getting awfully insolent.
“Your minds need to grow too, you know?”
“Do you happen to know why such ideas arise?”
“To live better?”
“Precisely.”
What's that supposed to mean? Then if we want to live better, shouldn't something better come out of it?
“No... I see you don't know. Let me ask just one thing.”
“Uh. Uh, sure.”
What's with the menacing air? Is she weighing me or something?
“Is this country a difficult place to live?”
Huh? Wha—??
“Still, surely there's a better direction we could take?”
“When that time comes, you'll change things of your own accord, without anyone having to tell you. And don't even think about running away.”
Huh? Busted? Honestly. Are our Chancellors a bit lacking, or annoyingly sharp? One moment I think the former, then they go and do this.
“Ugh. Fine.”
“Come to think of it, you've held your post for a very long time. Perhaps you should take a trip somewhere for fun?”
There's nowhere fun to go right now. I'm waiting for China to unify! It's straight out of a martial-arts saga!
“Instead! Every time you go out you cause some disaster, so please travel quietly this once.”
“Wh-what's that supposed to mean!? When have I ever—”
“The records are all there.”
Seriously, I should just set the whole archive on fire one of these days.
“We keep copies. Burning down your house wouldn't accomplish anything.”
“Gah!”
Is she a ghost?
In the year 2224 of Daehan, China finally unified.
Under a ruler with a truly fearsome name — Qin Shi Huang.
Somehow I had a feeling Mongol would split apart. Sure enough, they broke into north and south, and I hear the northern half started calling itself the Xiongnu or something like that.
Probably because the fragmentation kept Mongol from kicking Qin while it was down, leaving Qin free to breathe.
“So what's with this punk, ordering me around like this?”
Qin Shi Huang wished to meet me, of all people. And yet — an invitation?
“Shouldn't I be the one going to him?”
“That's what I thought? The person who wants to meet should be the one who travels, shouldn't he?”
“He must be a lunatic. Let's ignore him.”
Come to think of it, this is the king — no, emperor — of a foreign state. Who just summons someone like that?
“Seriously, why?”
“I honestly couldn't say...”
This Qin Shi Huang really is a lunatic. Ten straight years of gifts and letters, nonstop.
“Ugh, fine, this is a pain. Let's just make one trip.”
“Will you be all right?”
“Who could possibly do anything to me?”
“That's true, but still...”
Whatever nonsense this is, I should at least see the guy's face. I'll just think of it as a vacation.
“Should I bring, say, ten of the kids?”
“You never know what might happen. Surely at least a hundred is in order?”
What, am I going to topple his imperial palace? A hundred of us waging guerrilla warfare would burn the palace down and still have people to spare.
“Isn't that the palace over there? Whatever, I'll go alone.”
“Still, appearances matter...”
“Hey! Do appearances feed you? Besides, if something goes wrong, I'm easier to extract when I'm on my own!”
“Even so...”
This one keeps talking back?
BONK
“Ahhk! As you wish, Haneul-nim...”
“But have the kids stand by in Gunpo. When I come home, I'm doing it in style.”
“Yes, ma'am!”
I boarded a ship at Gunpo and set off toward Qin. The only thing resembling a passage between our two nations was the autonomous-zone gate we'd built ages ago for trade.
“This place hasn't changed a bit.”
Plenty of wide open plains here too, and yet apparently nobody lives on them.
“By the way, when is this guy coming? If you said you'd escort me, you should've been here waiting in advance!”
Hmm. Should I ask for a chair? Going in and fetching one seems beneath my dignity...
PUUUUUMPH
“Oh? Something's coming.”
It was a trumpet call from our own walls. Sounded whenever something approached.
STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!
“Whoa. Don't tell me those are footsteps?”
Marching drills must be brutal. The sound only comes out like that if everyone's steps are perfectly synchronized.
Just hurry up already. Matching your steps is making you agonizingly slow.
On and on they marched, in perfect step, until they finally drew up before me — then the soldiers halted far away, and a single carriage came forward.
“Good grief, what a production.”
Somehow he'd gotten his hands on a carriage drawn by four white horses — I suspected my neck was due for a spinal-disc appointment today.
How does a carriage bounce around like that?
CLOP CLOP CLOP
“Whoooaa~”
Augh, the dust! Not off to a great start, are we?
“Are you the Haneul-nim of Daehan?”
“Yeah. That's me.”
“Wha—? Truly traveling alone?”
“Mm. It's more convenient.”
So that if things go sideways I can wreck the place and bolt.
“Then. Please, board.”
Clunk
Someone who looked like a butler opened the door for me. The carriage was decorated fairly lavishly, I suppose — but the gold leaf was flaking off, ornaments were rolling around the floor, and it was a whole mess.
“We shall depart now.”
Rattle rattle
Ah. Bad omens already. My neck's one thing, but my back's about to go too.
KUDANG-TANG
“Ugh.”
See? The driver's probably going to collapse the moment we arrive too.
This is hopeless. I won't be getting any sleep either. What do I do.
Rattle rattle
SCREEECH—CRASH
“Geh.”
Sigh... third broken carriage. That's it.
“Hey!”
“Yes! Were you calling, Haneul-nim?”
“Bring me a horse! How am I supposed to get anywhere like this?!”
I was fuming — I couldn't take it anymore. Infuriating!
We even built proper roads to match their style, but what's the point when the carriage is garbage? This thing is unrideable.
“But we are instructed to transport honored guests with the utmost care...”
“Does THIS look like care to you?”
Throwing together shoddy carriages that break down every single day and still talking big? If a king rides in one of your carriages and it collapses, that's all your heads.
CLOP CLOP CLOP
Well, riding horseback has its own hardships. We need ponies, and fast. Something comfortable that doesn't shake.
“Haaaah...”
“What seems to be the trouble?”
“How long will this take?”
“By horse, roughly seventeen days, I believe.”
A week by carriage and it's still seventeen more? What, does the guy live in some mountain hollow?
That doomed punk and his seventeen days my foot — it took twenty more before I finally reached what they called their capital.
PUUU—
PIRILILI-PIRILI
Some supposed welcome ceremony — trumpets blaring, pipes shrieking, flower petals raining down — but look at the faces of the people doing it. They looked like they were dying of exhaustion.
At this rate, they're definitely cursing me in their hearts.
But what kind of castle is built this obsessively? There was a fortress inside the fortress, and the heights were staggering.
They basically ground up people into the mortar, didn't they? No wonder everyone's worn to the bone.
“We will retire and prepare, then present you to His Majesty.”
“You're not going straight in?”
“No, Haneul-nim. It's just that...”
It's still early in the day. Wouldn't it be better to just get it over with and be on our way?
“Fine, do as you like. What difference does an extra day or two make?”
“Then we shall escort you to your lodgings.”
We wound round and round for ages — is this a maze or what? How does anyone even find their way around here?