Haneul and the Two-Hundred-Man Bandit Brigade! (1)
Nearly a thousand years of unbroken peace. Isn't that just incredible? Has any nation in history ever been this quiet, this free of war?
"So. You're wondering why we never fight?"
That's exactly why I'd come into the council chamber and asked.
"Why do wars break out, exactly?"
"Hmm? Something's lacking, or relations go sour?"
"Precisely. And then there's the fact that nowhere out there is as comfortable to live in as here."
Fair point, honestly. This is land protected by the World Tree's miraculous power, isn't it? Crops and trees grow without end, and no matter how cold the wind blows, the ground never freezes.
Once you've lived in this kind of comfort, it's nearly impossible to survive anywhere else.
"And besides, when people get bored, there's all that land up north — a whole lifetime wouldn't be enough to see it all."
East of the Yenisei River — in other words, eastern Siberia — is effectively within our sphere of influence. An unimaginably vast expanse of earth.
Even those who don't live in the cities have tribes constantly moving through it and trading with one another. And back during the freak-climate years, people flooded north to Seolju and Haeryeong in frankly alarming numbers.
"Seolju and Haeryeong are the cities explorers visit most often these days."
People kept getting restless and trying to head outside the borders, so I figured they might as well go play on the empty northern lands instead — and apparently that's exactly where they've all gathered.
And thanks to that, plenty of them have died.
The number one cause of death in this country isn't accidents. It's explorers going missing.
"Tell them to prepare properly before they go! What's the point of wandering around bragging and dropping dead out there?"
Out at sea, as long as the Holy Water holds out, people can tough it out and make it home somehow. But high altitudes and frozen wastelands? One slip and you're dead.
"They're just young folks who have no idea how brutal the land outside the World Tree's reach really is."
All I can do is feel sorry for them.
"And then there's the Shang Dynasty, living on all that enormous land. Do you have any idea how hard their lives are?"
They've got plains for farming that put ours to shame in sheer size — and yet the country is desperately, hopelessly poor.
"Ugh, it gives me chills. Honestly, from what I've heard, it's a wonder they haven't resorted to eating people."
The human sacrifice is that rampant... They're the Aztecs of East Asia!
"Our position is that there's no reason to conquer them and add more mouths we'd have to feed."
"Good thinking."
"Oh! That reminds me — the Shang have sent word asking to buy grain from us. Should we sell it for gold or silver?"
What? China is short on food and wants to buy from us?
"What are those guys up to?"
"The harvest was only average this year, though, right?"
People farm in small amounts even outside the World Tree's aura. It's less efficient, sure, but the upshot is we roughly know whether everyone else is having a good year or a bad one.
"It's not a famine year, and yet they want to buy grain..."
Had their population really ballooned that much?
"We find it suspicious too. They're not asking for luxuries or spices — it's food they want."
"Sell it as processed goods, then. Rice flour, wheat flour, that kind of thing."
"Yes, understood."
What on earth could it be? Our one and only potential cause for war is that Shang Dynasty of ours — and they're always too busy fighting each other and robbing each other blind to look our way.
Maybe the old grudge has simply been forgotten after all this time. Or maybe the Yellow River crowd got absorbed by the Yangtze crowd.
"What about sending the kids in to scout it out?"
"I'm afraid that would be difficult, Your Divinity."
What to do? Hmm, couldn't we just get them to sneak in and figure it out from there?
"Our kids are good climbers, aren't they?"
"Climbing's only the start. They swim well, they run well — the whole package."
Perfect. Then I've got a job for them.
"Send the kids in."
"They'll be caught in no time, though?"
"Then tell them to hide out in the mountains. Have them play bandit. That country's crawling with bandits as it is, right?"
Hmm? Really? It does feel a bit like we're stirring up trouble in someone else's country...
"Does it feel a bit off to you?"
"Sounds fun to me!"
Huh? Why are you getting excited?
"We could have them do banditry and water-banditry..."
"Uh... tell them to take it easy, all right? You got that? Those kids already suffer enough out in the wilds — nobody gets hurt, understood?"
"I'll only send the ones who volunteer."
"Good. Pick the best and send them out. Then they can take locals on as underlings and gather intelligence while they're at it, right?"
If I'd known you'd be this delighted, I should've suggested it ages ago.
"The kids will be thrilled to finally have something to do. We'll execute immediately."
On departure day, I held a proper little send-off ceremony, which I attended myself. Around two hundred of them, I think?
They were being dispatched to every region — four or five per group, one boss and one underboss apiece, crossing the sea by ship before infiltrating the southern mountain country.
"Isn't that a bit many?"
"The land is simply that vast, Your Divinity."
"I suppose..."
Did we really need this many? He was saying they'd form something like fifty or sixty bands?
"Wahaha!"
"The west is mine!"
"Nobody come to my mountains, you hear?!"
"Fufufu, the rivers shall be mine."
Kids? You're going out there to do a job. You do understand that, right?
"Why is everyone so fired up?"
"Vacation— no! I mean, it's a mission! Consider it a good warm-up!"
It's climbing mountains and fording rivers — surely that's exhausting? That country has actual states and armies that could chase them down!
"Making a living out there won't be easy..."
"We'll have supply ships running regular routes delivering dried meat and provisions."
Apparently because the land is so big, the only ships the Shang have are fishing boats. Thank goodness our people can travel comfortably by sea.
If worst comes to worst, they can always hop on a boat and run.
"Oh! Then let's stash some escape ships somewhere over there too!"
"I can't imagine they'll need them, but it's good to be prepared. Understood."
The kids are a little too energetic. I just hope they don't cause any disasters.
With the bandits and river pirates infiltrated, detailed reports on the Shang Dynasty started flowing in.
There were nobles and commoners, and apparently slaves beyond counting. The dynasty seemed to be in the full swing of wars of conquest.
Their weapons were mostly bronze, and they held sacrifices constantly — killing enormous numbers of people in the process.
Our people were to serve five-year rotations, and today the first batch of returnees had come home.
"Haneul-nim, the returnees have brought you tribute."
"What in the—! What is THIS?"
Crates upon crates of gold and silver were being carried in, piled up like small mountains.
"They say they collected it banditing."
What have those kids been doing? And why does this man look so unbothered? It's like he thinks this is perfectly normal. Well — I suppose he was getting reports the whole time and issuing orders.
"That's it? Just from banditry?"
"The kids are remarkably diligent, you see."
"Just split it among them! They're the ones who worked for it."
"We compensated them in other goods."
And what, exactly, did you pay them with this time? Gold's pouring in from the west, we're raiding China on top of it — is every scrap of gold on this planet just gravitating toward us now?
Maybe I should take another trip to China. I'm curious what the kids are getting up to.
"Were the kids hurt at all?"
"They picked up a few scars, but a dab of Holy Water will erase those in no time."
Ah... that damn Holy Water. The miracle cure that wipes out scars with a single spit. The shackle of my entire existence.
"Tell them to rest up properly."
"I doubt they will. They're all fighting over who gets to go back out..."
"To that godforsaken wilderness?"
"They all say it was tremendous fun."
"The mission was fun?"
Unbelievable. Do they think this is some kind of game? I really need to brush up on my Shang language.
This country has far too much gold and silver.
I'd stopped by the chapel for the first time in ages. Flanking me on either side stood my own effigies — one of solid gold, one of solid silver.
They said they keep them there since I'm so often absent...
"At this rate you could build a whole temple out of solid gold."
"Shall we?"
"No. I like it better like this — a little of everything."
One slip of the tongue in front of Daesinjang and there'd be no living with him. Say the wrong thing and we might end up with a full-blown crusade on our hands.
"Then we shall simply have to build more storehouses."
"That much is coming in?"
"Yes. We could build the entire chapel out of it and still have plenty to spare."
Whoa? That's no small building, though? Incredible... One of those would be a landmark, wouldn't it? It might even outshine the pyramids.
Then again, could it even be maintained? By the time it was finished, people would probably revolt.
"That's just far too extravagant. We'll find some better use for it, I'm sure."
"Yes, Your Divinity."
Mid-service, I glanced out the window.
Neigh-hihihiing
"Whooa~ easy does it, pull on in there."
A big wagon drawn by two horses, its bed stacked high with crates, was trundling toward one of the buildings beside the temple.
"Hm. Must be heavy."
"That will be the payment for the latest trade deal, I expect. Gold, by the look of it."
"That much comes in?"
That quantity of gold — that's what, hundreds? Thousands of billions, no? No wonder my room keeps overflowing with the stuff.
When I asked for marbles to play with, they brought me a whole drawer of solid-gold ones. Plus earrings, hairpins, bracelets, anklets.
I've got to look after all that properly someday! It's not like I'll ever be broke and scrounging, right? Hehehe.
Amid all this, I buckled down and studied Shang. Time to go visit!
And so today, the third expedition to China began.
Unlike the agents, I was going in through the front door. We trade grain with the Shang, so I intended to slip in among the merchants.
And naturally, this is the kind of trip you take without telling anyone. Say a word and they'd never let me leave.
"My, you've been busy building those walls, haven't you~"
Good grief, had they staked their very lives on fortification? The walls had grown staggeringly tall — probably higher than our own castles back home.
We've never fought a single war against them, so why were they pouring everything into defenses here?
Sheesh... well, good for them. Everyone struggles along in their own way.
"The young lady is my daughter, you see. You understand?"
"Of course, of course~"
I'd tried my best to sound demure and dainty, playing the part. I do hope he understood me, though? My pronunciation worries me.
Apparently there was something like a travel permit, because the city gate was in the middle of a full inspection.
Clop, clop.
Finally, our turn. My heart was going pit-a-pat...
"Permit!"
"Here you are, good sir."
What's this? There was a toll? He's handing over a little pouch along with the papers?
"What's this? This is one person's fee. Why are there two?"
"Oh, forgive me! This is my daughter. Please look after us."
And now he's handing over a second pouch? Is that a bribe? Back home we just flash our identity badges and be done with it.
Or is it because ours can't be forged? That hair-ink of ours really does make life convenient in all sorts of ways.
"Hmmmm...."
Why is he giving us the squinty eye?
"Ahaha! Here, we've included a little extra!"
So he just wants more money? The man walked away with three whole pouches in the end. Right at the gates — what a fine state this country's in.
"Be more careful next time!"
"Of course~ you're quite right, thank you kindly. Heheh."
So merchants don't rank all that highly here, do they? These are the people who keep a nation's blood flowing — you'd think they'd be treated better.
Clop, clop.
There were roads, of a sort — but really just packed earth worn down by the sheer traffic of feet. There were marshes everywhere; one careless turn and the cart might sink right in.
Big rivers always come with swampland, I suppose. Our own plains were the same way once.
Being the south, there were so many trees here? Back home it was all grassland.
"Miss, we'll be traveling about ten days yet."
"Don't worry about me."
We'd been crossing flatland for days now, and the trees were so dense I honestly couldn't tell whether this counted as a forest or not.
"That's a lot of trees, isn't it?"
"Yes. That's why the people suffer so, clearing land for farms."
Come to think of it, if the grass grows well here, the trees would too, wouldn't they? So these breadbaskets didn't just appear out of nowhere.
"Ah — there's a tree fallen across the road."
"That's an awfully big one. Can we go around?"
"Hm. Might be tufei about, actually."
Hm? What's a "tufei"? Judging by his expression, not the friendly sort.
"Let's wait a moment."
"Very well."
Wait for what, exactly? I had no choice but to sit there and wait it out.
Rustle, rustle.
"Well now? Didn't realize we had guests!"
"Ahahaha! Greetings, honorable brothers!"
Look at him — scowling a moment ago, and now all smiles. This old man pivots fast, doesn't he?
"Hm? Merchants, are you?"
"Yes, sir. We'd very much like to pass through. We'd be much obliged."
So a "tufei" is some kind of bandit, then. A gang? All these trees do give it a bandit-country feel...
"Well. A merchant's no enemy of mine, so I suppose we'd best help you out! Lads!"
Goodness, what a voice. He calls "lads!" and out they come in a crowd. So that's what they're here for — clearing the tree, apparently.
And our poor merchant friend is over there, opening up yet another pouch.
"Ahahaha! I'll put this to good use!"
"Of course~ we look forward to working with you again~"
"There, there. May you grow rich."
They say a country overrun with bandits is a hard place to live. I met bandits at the city gate, and now bandits here too — it's all rather confusing.