Picking Up a Gold Mine While I'm at It!
And I picked up a gold mine on top of it all! I'd tossed and turned half the night again, and now, four days in, we were gritting our teeth and marching toward the place where the enemy's imperial palace supposedly stood.
Just how much preparing had those people managed to do in three days?
"Halt!"
"Halt!"
Hmm. What is this? However you look at it, something's suspicious here.
"Not a single person around, but this many houses?"
"Agassi, this is way too suspicious."
"Alright! Here's what we'll do!"
We weren't here to occupy the place, after all — this was a show of force, nothing more.
"Let's smash every house with our slingshots as we go!"
"Oh! A wise choice, as expected!"
"And tell the ones behind us to start hurling fist potatoes right away."
"Yes, ma'am!"
We'd gotten our hands on a truly staggering amount of lead from the Iwami Silver Mine, after all. Might as well return the favor while we were at it.
KA-BOOM! KRUUUMBLE! KRACKOOOM!
Every single explosion sounded different from the last. Ultimately, we'd had to finish the job by hand, so that was bound to happen.
"Hmm?"
"Yes? Speak, please."
"They're all wooden houses, aren't they? Let's just set them on fire."
"Huh?"
Far more efficient. What had we been saving it for?
"Blowing things up is fun too, but hmm..."
"Then let's do both!"
What was there to agonize over? Blasted into little pieces, the wood would burn that much better. And so we inched forward, hour after hour, slowly demolishing and torching everything in our path.
"Ah. They're going to be a nuisance again once it gets dark, aren't they?"
"We won't be sleeping anyway — shall we just march all night?"
"No. Getting even a little sleep is a completely different thing from getting none at all."
We'd push on for a few more days, and if the fatigue piled up too much, we'd fall back and come again later.
"For now, let's advance like this for a few more days."
That night, true to form, they launched their sneak attack again.
The night belonged to them; the day belonged to us.
KA-BOOM! KRACKOOOM! KA-BOOM!
"Ah. If we had proper explosives, we could flatten this place in no time."
"Shall I fetch some?"
"You have some?"
"Of course — didn't I pack them?"
But how would we deliver them? The slingshots wouldn't handle the size — the shots would never fly the way we wanted.
"Hmm. If it's a bow, we can just strip the rubber bands off a slingshot — the problem is we don't have any arrows."
"Pardon? You need arrows?"
"Yeah. Think we could strap the explosives to arrows and launch them?"
"There are tons of arrows!"
"You brought them?"
How had I missed that? Everything stored in my subspace was nothing but child-sized practice arrows.
"Aw, there's plenty. Here you go."
Oh! So these were all the arrows those guys had been raining down on us from every direction?
"Do you have spare bow arms for the slingshots?"
"Yes, I packed them carefully. Shall we try shooting from over there?"
"Yes! Launch them properly — no misfires!"
And so we performed some highly illegal modifications — strapping explosives to arrows — and sent them flying.
KR-KABOOOM!
"Wow. Not even the sound is in the same league."
"The range is shorter than I expected, though."
"Yeah. Tell everyone to be careful — we'll have to close in a bit more before firing."
"Yes, ma'am!"
Two days of pounding everything to pieces followed, until the commercial districts and residential quarters outside the palace grounds were almost entirely smashed and burned.
"What is wrong with these people? They won't attack, they won't defend — nothing?"
I couldn't for the life of me figure out what they were playing at. How peculiar.
"I believe that ahead there is the entrance to the palace compound."
"Yeah. Fire a volley and let's see what's inside."
"Fire away!"
And off flew dozens of explosives in a graceful arc.
KRUU-KAWHOOOM!
"AAAAAGH!"
"AAAAGH..."
See? This is why they were hiding behind there. People were rolling around sprawled in every direction.
No, seriously — we keep blasting our way forward like this, so why would anyone leave people stationed in a spot like that?
Pitter-patter-patter! TING! TIDDING! TING!
They were shooting their arrows for all they were worth too, but whether it was poor iron or poor bows, nothing could pierce our armor.
"What a waste of effort. Good grief."
It had only been a week, but where were the reinforcements from the surrounding regions? We'd waited a whole month at the port, assuming they'd gathered their forces in advance — and the soldiers turned out to be absurdly few.
Were we just fast, or were they slow? Or maybe the gap in weaponry really was that enormous.
Even by my standards, plate armor versus muskets was crossing a line.
"Okay, kids~ let's smash everything up to the palace compound, then rest a bit and come back."
"Yes, ma'am!"
We had no intention of occupying the place, after all! The whole point was to apply this kind of pressure and force a surrender. Our goal was to secure rights to Iwami and additional territory.
THOOM! KRU-RUMBLE! KA-BOOM!
Wow. Something enormous must have just collapsed — the ground itself was shaking.
"Horses! Enemy cavalry!"
Enemy riders had appeared, swinging around our flank.
"A white flag! Hold your fire! Wait!"
Hmm, but there's no such thing as international conventions here — since when did a white flag mean surrender or a herald?
Well, there was a lot of shuffling and murmuring for quite a while.
"The herald says he was sent by the Emperor."
"Figures."
"He says all of this was instigated by the regent, and begs you to please put an end to it."
The regent? Is he saying the Emperor's just a figurehead?
"Then who takes responsibility?"
"For now, he says he will bear it himself and answer to the family in question."
Isn't that hilarious? So the regent causes the mess, but since the Emperor is Japan's official representative, the Emperor is the one who has to clean it up?
Bang on that drum here for a hundred days, and that regent fellow would just hide somewhere and never show his face until it was all over, wouldn't he? Perhaps the Emperor saw this as his chance to stage some kind of civil war and claw back real power?
"Then we'll have to sign a treaty. Ask them if the treaty from about four hundred years ago still exists, verify it — and tell them we're building a port and a vacation villa on the land below that tall mountain over there, so that land is ours."
Several rounds of envoys went back and forth, and then came a signing ceremony between the two heads of state.
On our side, me; on theirs, Emperor Go-Ichijo? Well, that fellow, anyway — he was the one who'd agreed to appear.
A table was set up in a courtyard of the imperial palace. Their side turned out bristling with sword-carrying samurai.
Our side matched them, packed to the brim with axe-and-gun-wielding soldiers. They faced each other across the table.
Wow. The atmosphere was absolutely murderous.
"Ease up on the glaring. What's fighting going to accomplish?"
Neither side blinked, bloodshot eyes bulging — I couldn't understand why any of them, theirs or ours, was carrying on like this.
Then the Emperor made his entrance. Huh? Early twenties at most, surely? How on earth did he look that young?
"I'll be right back. Get some rest."
"Please be careful."
"Remember — if it comes to it, all of you can die, but I'm surviving. Understood?"
"Yes, ma'am!"
If you understand, why are you telling me to be careful?
Step, step.
There were only two chairs at the table, and whether my stride was faster or his slower, I simply sat down first.
How does he walk around in clothes that stiff and uncomfortable? So voluminous that in any narrow space they'd snag on everything and leave him unable to move at all?
Swoosh.
"Remember-me" also had his chair pulled out for him by an attendant before he sat. Quite a high-maintenance sort, apparently.
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance. You are every bit as fearsome as the rumors say."
"Yes — first time we're meeting, isn't it."
He was a head of state; speaking so casually to me felt a bit much even for my taste. Wait, no — he's speaking formally? Good.
"What rumors?"
"Kurokin Hime."
"The people who got raided at night were saying that too, weren't they?"
"One who wields a kuro — black — blade, carries kin — gold — that weeps and wails, and is beautiful besides. So they call you hime — a princess."
Huh? Is that... a compliment?
"Well, thank you."
"Hahaha. It is not a flattering name, I assure you."
What? You just said I was pretty. How is that not flattering?
"It refers to a monster or a demon. They say the people regard you as a yokai."
Ah, so they see me as some kind of ghost.
"A nickname of my very own. Lovely. Let's get down to business so we can all go home — I want to go home."
"You truly are human, then?"
"Have you ever seen a ghost out in broad daylight?"
"Some yokai are said to walk abroad even in daylight."
Oh good grief, this man's stories were never going to end.
"Did you find the treaty?"
"There is one left behind by Emperor Suiko, the thirty-third of his line."
"Yes. Nobody remembers the exact year — roughly four hundred years ago, we made one."
"Remarkable. It took us a very long time to find it."
Did they not have anything like an archive or a records office?
"Official documents must be kept with particular care, you know."
"Official documents?"
"Records concerning the business of the state."
How else would anyone know what record might be needed, centuries down the line?
"I take it Daehan keeps such things?"
"We even have records from three thousand years ago!"
Records with all my most embarrassing history lovingly preserved alongside. Those chancellor fellows — no, the prime minister fellows now — even setting their archives on fire proved useless.
"Goodness..."
"If there's anything from the old days you're curious about, just ask."
"Ah—! Then—!"
"Not now! Ask later, once we're on friendlier terms!"
Even if you asked now, how would I know? I don't exactly carry the whole archive in my head.
"If you've read those old records, then you know you must never launch a single ship west or north of this main island?"
"I have. And your people have honored that faithfully, haven't they?"
Come to think of it, even on the way to Iwami — a place you'd think they'd reach by boat — it had seemed like they came overland instead.
"Keep observing that rule, and we're good. And that mountain over there, past the ridge — you know the tall one, don't you?"
What were they calling Mt. Fuji these days? They certainly didn't know about the gold mine there yet, right?
"Fushi-san? You mean the Mountain of Immortality?"
"We're building a vacation villa on the peninsula at its foot, so don't you dare come anywhere near it."
So they called it something different, then? Not that I should be surprised — coming from Osaka, I hadn't recognized a single place name the whole way.
"You are asking for more land, then?"
"No, nothing like that. We just want to build a villa. It'll be rather big, admittedly? Say... two hundred years? We'll just come play for that long and leave."
"Ah. If there's a time limit, that is acceptable."
He only agreed because he had no idea what was actually there.
"And Iwami — you don't feel it was a loss?"
"That was never my concern to begin with."
"Tell me — does the Emperor have no real power?"
"..."
Oh. He was just a poor kid all along. No wonder something had felt off — so when humans gather like this, how does a single country keep running? I'd wondered.
The king is a scarecrow, and the nobles carve up the power among themselves. That must be how it works here.
"Is there anything you need? I'll help you."
"Even if you helped me now, there is nothing I could do."
So young, and already this quick to give up. His eyes had the dead, glassy stare of a frozen fish.
"And yet I believe my time will come."
Hmm. Was he rehearsing some kind of performance?
"I'll pray it goes well for you."
"Thank you. You are the first person I have ever told such things."
Apparently he didn't have a single ally.
"Then we'll be withdrawing."
"Ah! May I ask your name?"
"Haeun. Shin Haeun."
"A fine name."
Bound to go down in history for all eternity. Like Helene — plenty of me already drifting around in unofficial chronicles anyway, no?
Who cares. I'll just change my name again later.
So, first takeaway: the politics of this country called Japan are genuinely hilarious. A figurehead emperor, and a regent besides...
Still, I'd picked up a gold mine while I was at it. Time to head home.
The tailwind-assisted route home was definitely a long one. A whole month just to get back. Still — there's no place like home. Everything down south was far too humid and hot. Even sweat-free me felt it, which was embarrassing, but hey, I have feelings too.
"Did your business go well, ma'am?"
"Very well, thank you very much."
Made a pile of money too! Not on me at this exact moment, but still.
"Mark the spot where I point. Go look for a gold mine there later."
"Pardon? A gold mine?"
"Yep. I just won us one."
We were way past the stage of eking out a little gold through trade! This — THIS — is my scale of operation!
"What? And here I thought you only spent money on useless things."
"Hey! Insolence!"
"So you do have a commanding presence?"
"I even got a nickname!"
My glorious deeds would be engraved into the history of Japan itself!
"Oh? The ghost with the sword, with 'kin' attached to her name?"
"Huh?"
"A ghost. Something like a demon, you know."
What? Not even a proper legend or myth — I'd be cast as the villain? Sounded like I was about to become the name mothers invoke when their children won't stop crying — "behave or the gold princess will get you."
"Oh, never mind the nickname! The gold is what matters."
"But isn't it terribly far? It's hard to pick out anyone we could spare to send there."
"What? No one needs to go — we've got workers."
"Who?"
"The locals."
So THAT was why they'd dragged themselves all the way over here?
"The laborers from the Iwami mines?"
"Yep. They'll probably become full-blown mining experts by the time that's finished. Once it wraps up there, send them where I pointed and have them dig for gold."
I'd keep rotating them through Japan until they grew into specialists who did nothing but dig gold and silver mines.
"You've made them complete slaves, haven't you?"
"Experts! Make sure they're well fed and well clothed. I'm actually thinking of letting them settle in Joseon or Joseon Territory once it's all done. They seem like decent folk."
By the time the gold ran out, it would be the era of lobbing shells from far, far away — and any betrayal would reduce them to dust.
"You must have taken a liking to them, then?"
"It's less that I liked them, and more that watching how their country's common people live, it seemed like if we just treated them well, they'd come over to our side willingly."
"Are things really that hard for them?"
"Yeah. I thought I was working them like slaves, but apparently that's their idea of happiness."
"What..."
They truly were living pitiful lives. No matter the era, ordinary people always have it hardest.