23. What If
23. What If
"Even if you can't completely block the delusions, it's at a level where you can suppress them yourself?"
"Uh... lately, it's been like that."
"That's good. In the end, one's own willpower is what matters most."
In the end, I came to see this strange doctor again together with Eunji.
When I asked Matthew-ssi, he told me there were rumors that her original personality was on the eccentric side.
I was a bit nervous too, but... Eunji, sitting next to me, had such an incredibly serious expression that it was somehow cute.
For now, I hadn't told her what kind of favor I was asking of Eunji and Matthew-ssi.
But this person... somehow seems like she already knows, and is bizarre in many ways.
"On the questionnaire... you wrote that the most painful situation you can think of is having your lover completely taken away by another man."
"......."
"Then how about we try this?"
"How...?"
Eunji, who had been listening with a still-serious expression, answered instead.
"Make him imagine instead of delude."
"Is there... a difference?"
"There is. Imagination is something you actively do while being aware that it's fake."
"Then how...."
"Right now, Seungyoon-ssi has a delusion, and then you used a method to resolve it somehow, right?"
"Yes."
"Switch the order. Do something first, and then either imagine with that or anticipate."
Passively experiencing a delusion versus actively imagining...
Even if they seem more or less the same, there is a clear difference in whether it can be controlled.
...Was this woman actually a capable doctor?
"And now...."
This time, she rummages through the questionnaire I checked and brought.
And she points to one item with her pen as she reads it out.
"To the question 'Have you ever compared yourself to another man, felt an inferiority complex and defeatism, and enjoyed it?'... Yes."
"......."
"Since Seungyoon-ssi right now is a hopeless masochist—"
"P-Pardon?"
"Am I wrong? The villain made you like that."
D-Did she really have to add the word 'hopeless' in front of it?
Anyway... she's weird.
"Have Hayes-ssi make those comparisons to make Seungyoon-ssi feel inferior."
"......."
"While presenting the situation in detail so Seungyoon-ssi can imagine it sufficiently."
Eunji's face flushed bright red.
It was probably because she remembered the words she said before because of my request.
And the doctor hands Eunji a stack of papers similar in thickness to the one she gave me yesterday.
"Here, things that would be good to say. How to stimulate him effectively."
"Ah, yes...."
"For comparisons... if you have an ex-boyfriend, use an ex-boyfriend, or just any decent guy around you is fine too."
"......."
The man to be compared against was as good as decided already.
And the doctor turns her gaze back to me.
"For the time being, try this together with the method you originally used."
"...Understood."
"And that stuff I gave your girlfriend, try not to look at it if possible."
"Why?"
My last question was casually ignored.
As if she was already done with us, the doctor turned her body and looked at the monitor.
"Let's go."
"U-Uh-huh."
Holding the hand of Eunji, who had a dazed expression, I stood up and walked outside.
And as we walked out, I whispered quietly, a bit intentionally loud enough for others to hear.
"She's a strange person, right?"
"...Mm."
Eunji answered with a slight smile.
Although I was curious about what was written on the papers in her hand... after all, it couldn't hurt to listen to the doctor, so I'll hold back.
We came home and ate dinner together.
I was also a bit happy to spend the entire day with Eunji for the first time in a while.
Eunji sat on the sofa, scanning the papers she received from the doctor earlier with a very serious look.
"What's in there that you're looking at it so intensely?"
"U-Uh? Ah... it's just, it's fa-fascinating."
"What is?"
"It's just full of words that make me wonder, 'Do these kinds of words really help oppa?'..."
...I don't know the content yet, but considering my current state, it seems like it probably would help.
"Still, if this works, it means we won't need Matthew-ssi's help as much."
"Right... I feel a bit bad asking him all the time."
"Should we try it? Today."
"T-Today, right away?"
"If you need more time to prepare, we can do it next time."
"Mmm... N-No. Even though it's still awkward... I'll try."
Having made up her mind, Eunji stood up abruptly and headed to her room.
Somehow... doing something like this even when a delusion hasn't occurred feels a bit awkward.
...It feels as if I was a person with these inclinations from the start.
"O-Oppa! You can come in."
"Yeah."
Suddenly, a thought crosses my mind.
What if—though the possibility of it actually happening is rare, but just what if—
Even after my treatment is finished, I can't forget this pain and thrill, so I keep asking favors of Eunji and Matthew-ssi?
"......."
"Do you wanna c-come up here...?"
"...Yeah."
Putting other thoughts aside for a moment, I went to the bed where Eunji was waiting.
Having a slightly nervous expression was the same for both Eunji and me.
I laid down first, and Eunji slowly laid her body down next to me... as well.
"First... since it's still really awkward and clumsy, oppa, you can't laugh, okay?"
"Of course."
"And th-there are lies mixed into the things I'm going to say from now on!"
"That's something I usually ask for anyway, so it's fine."
"...Right? U-Um. Ahem."
Eunji, clearing her throat with a cough, snuggles even closer to me.
The feeling of her soft breasts pressing against my upper body is definitely nice, but... I unwittingly find myself focusing on her smooth voice touching my ear.
"Um... the day I did it for the last time with Matthew-ssi after oppa asked me to. You remember, right?"
"Yeah."
"Since that day, Matthew-ssi has been treating me, me super... nicely, you know?"
"......."
Eunji gulps down her dry saliva and closes the distance even closer than just now.
Her voice is small, soft, a little trembling, but slightly hot.
"And this is just my thought, but... I think Matthew-ssi wants to do it with me again."
"......."
"A few days ago, I bumped into Matthew-ssi while working out at the gym... and he said he'd give me another massage if I needed one."
"...So?"
It's a plausible enough story.
The fact that there's a space prepared for massages in the gym is one thing, and in the first place, a massage is... a wholesome act.
"U-Um... actually, when I got a massage last time... it felt extremely good, too."
"......."
"Matthew-ssi's hands... are b-bigger than oppa's hands... hard, and his strength is strong, too..."
Holding my hand lightly, with her gaze directed at me, Eunji slowly continues talking.
The fact that my heart is beating faster and faster even while knowing this is a lie definitely means it's working.
"So I said okay, and followed him...?"
"......."
"That place last time... where I got permission from oppa, and got my p-pussy m-massaged by Matthew-ssi."
"...And then?"
"At first, I just got a normal massage, but the force pressing firmly, firmly down on my body was super strong... so it felt good."
"......."
"I was wearing super thin pants, too... and Matthew-ssi grabbed the inside of my thighs tightly and pressed down..."
The sight of Matthew-ssi's large hands holding Eunji's soft thighs and pressing down strongly.
Narrowly missing her pussy, but that strength and presence being fully conveyed to her pussy—that kind of sight.
"...It was good. Because it was... stronger than what o-oppa gives me."
"......."
"After that, s-suddenly... he grabbed my buttocks tightly, super hard with both hands."
"H-He shouldn't do that."
"R-Right... he shouldn't, but his fingers kept sinking in deep, and it felt so good..."
"......."
"Even from when he touched my thighs, his fingers firmly... pressing next to my p-pussy felt a bit, good, you see..."
Isn't the description a bit... excessively detailed?
Even that suspicion turns into a chilling excitement right now.
...I got an erection.
And the sight of my erect dick bulging out my pants naturally becomes visible to Eunji as well.
"...H-Hehe, you got aroused, oppa."
"Ha... haah."
"Y-You know... Matthew-ssi got an erection around this point too...?"
"......."
"Remember back then when oppa told me to check if Matthew-ssi gets excited while touching my body...?"
"I-I do."
While touching Eunji's breasts, I wanted to know if Matthew-ssi was also a man who gets turned on by Eunji's body.
It was the day I confirmed the fact that Matthew-ssi was also a man, and one far stronger than me at that.
"This time too, while touching m-my body... Matthew-ssi got an erection."
"......."
Eunji's hand gently slides down, stopping at the center of my bulged pants.
And without touching it, she moves up... higher than the height of my bulging pants, a little bit higher.
"As oppa k-knows, too..."
"......."
"He's m-much, much bigger than oppa, you know...? It reaches... a-all the way up to here."
"......."
"But, when we did it at the hotel... by that much, as much as it's bigger than oppa's, it felt so... g-good, too..."
Eunji's gaze, which was directed at me, turns slightly upward.
It's as if... she's recalling something that really happened.
"It kept t-touching my buttocks... pressing against them, too."
"S-So... did you do it?"
"...Since Matthew-ssi seemed to be contemplating."
"......."
"He was erect l-like this just like oppa... but I could feel him trying to hold back, so I... told him."
"W-What did you say?"
The sound of swallowing dry saliva.
It's hard to tell whether it was a sound I made or a sound Eunji made.
"If... if you want to do it, you can...♡"
"......."
"Actually, I think I j-just... came a little while getting the massage, too."
"...Haah."
I closed my eyes tightly.
Hearing the story of my girlfriend permitting another man to have a relationship with her without even my request is certainly painful.
Did her body recall her previous encounter where her body was touched with strength far greater than mine, feeling even better?
But the fact that it isn't an entirely impossible thing... turns me on.
"T-That's the end! Th-This is embarrassing..."
"...End? What about after that?"
"Eh? Well, of course it's a l-lie, so there's no next part, oppa!"
"...Ah."
"On the paper the d-doctor gave me... it said to make you imagine by connecting it to previous experiences..."
No... this is a little, just a little lacking.
If this were a delusion, it certainly wouldn't have ended here.
"Still, keep... telling me."
"...Keep going?"
"As if it's not a lie. As if you kept... doing it after that."
That doctor is definitely capable, alright.
Right at this moment, there is no opening or room for a delusion to intrude at all.
I feel completely... swept away by the story Eunji is telling me.
"...O-Okay. Oppa, you can't laugh, okay...?"
"Of course."
How could I dare to laugh?
While listening to the story of my lover getting fucked again by the man she had already joined flesh with once before.
Eunji, hesitating for a moment, casts her eyes down as if reluctantly spilling a secret she tried so hard to hide... and speaks.
"A-Actually... I didn't, say it."
"...Say what?"
"That he could do it... I didn't say it, but I guess he f-found out... that I was already wet, back then..."
"......."
"Since he just silently pulled down my p-pants..."
"...So?"
"You know what I told you last time... that the height was a bit high, so I had to lift my waist up slightly."
"......."
"...I l-lifted my waist for him...♡"