21. Secret
21. Secret
"I love you."
Four hours have passed since those final words, but there's no contact from Eunji.
Nervously shaking my legs, I keep glancing again and again at my phone, which receives no messages.
My expression reflected in the black screen of the motionless phone is quite a sight.
"Ha... ha, haha...."
I am anxious.
I'm terrified that Eunji's heart might be swaying, even just a little, toward Matthew-ssi.
Of course, I'm not stupid enough to worry just because Matthew-ssi's dick is bigger than mine.
A retired hero with a tragic past.
Polite, able to separate public and private matters, strong, and rational.
Even to my eyes, he is a charming man. If there's a downside... it would be that he carries a bit of trauma.
But right now, that might not even be a downside.
"Phew... Whew."
I picture Eunji pinned down and ravished beneath Matthew-ssi, who has turned rough like a beast, feeling an orgasm with an ecstatically melted expression.
If Eunji develops even a tiny bit of sympathy toward such a forceful attitude....
"...Ugh."
She'll care more and more, open her heart... and the things she permits will increase.
For instance... she might say it's okay to kiss while doing it.
"......."
It's vivid.
Eunji leaning against Matthew-ssi's thick neck and broad shoulders, wrapping her arms around him, and intertwining her tongue in a long, sticky kiss.
The image of Eunji—who used to give me soft, warm kisses and then blush bashfully—now pushing her tongue in on her own and begging for a kiss.
"St... stop. Stop imagining."
Delusions are of no help. Unless it's an expectation, perhaps.
...Yeah. Like the expectation of an exhausted Eunji returning home and giving me a report about her sex with Matthew-ssi.
Ppik- tti, tti, tti, tti-
"...!"
It's Eunji.
"...Eunji-ya."
"Oppa... you waited, right? I'm sorry."
Although she gives me a faint smile, her voice clearly betrays how exhausted she is.
It is so different from the time I first made a request to Eunji, when she came back smiling as if nothing had happened.
Eunji really did... this time it wasn't a lie, she really got fucked by Matthew-ssi and came back.
That fact pierces my heart with a sharp sting.
"I... after we finished, when taking photos to send to you, oppa... my phone battery ran out."
"......."
"So Matthew-ssi took them and promised to send them to me."
"...Is that so?"
"I-I thought it'd be better if I just showed you rather than sending them to you, oppa... Let's head inside first."
I wait for Eunji to connect her phone to the charger, change into comfortable clothes, and come out.
Why do these mere few minutes feel so extraordinarily long?
"...Phew. Now I finally feel like I can breathe a bit."
"If you're tired... it's okay to talk about it tomorrow."
"Mmm... but oppa waited for me."
"Then, let's do it like this."
Considering Eunji's fatigue and my expectations, the best method I can think of is once again... a lie.
"It'll take way too long to tell everything... but I still want to hear it and I'm curious."
"Ung...."
"Eunji, tell me while mixing in some lies."
"...Like last time?"
"And, it's also... fine to just leave out certain parts without saying them."
I add secrets to that. A side of Eunji I don't know, but one that Matthew-ssi must have fully seen and experienced.
Just bringing it up makes a gradual agony rise inside me, making my heart throb.
"Y-yes... But if you get curious tomorrow or next time, just ask, okay...?"
"...Yeah. Of course."
"Then I'll mix in a few lies... and deliberately leave out a little bit as I tell you."
I will probably never ask.
Because leaving secrets as secrets might be more agonizing, or it might be more comforting.
Eunji, sitting right next to me on the sofa where I am seated, slowly takes a deep breath and begins her story.
"First, after going to the hotel, we talked for a bit before starting."
"......."
"I told him oppa wouldn't want it to be forced... so it'd be nice if Matthew-ssi could feel a bit good too."
"...That's right. You're right."
"I thought so. Because oppa... is kind."
Eunji gently takes my hand.
Her hand lacks strength, but it's still warm.
"So... I told him that from now on, within the boundaries oppa allows, Matthew-ssi can take it a bit easier."
"......."
"And then, u-uhm... th-there, we got onto the bed..."
"...And then?"
"R-remember how... I told you before, oppa, that I got a little wet just by looking at Matthew-ssi's dick...?"
"......."
"This time, f-for real, I was wet... so he just, s-straight up put it in...?"
...Probably, it's probably true.
Since Eunji has always had a rather sensitive body.
I know... that even without being touched, just setting the mood makes her body heat up easily.
"Of course he wore a condom... but just like Dust-ssi said, the feeling of it entering..."
"......."
"The glans is s-so wide that it presses down everything inside... And the blood vessels popping out on the shaft, seriously, all of them... I can feel them s-so well."
Even though she looks like she's about to die of embarrassment, Eunji's description is brutally detailed.
How Matthew-ssi's glans stretched open her inside as it passed through.
Even down to how she felt every single throbbing blood vessel as she tightly squeezed such a long and thick dick.
"C... Compare it too. With me."
"First... Matthew-ssi is kinda big, right? N-not his dick! His body..."
"I know."
"So I had to lift my waist a l-little higher than when doing it with oppa."
"......."
"It felt like my buttocks were raised really high so it was embarrassing, but..."
"Was it good?"
"...Very."
My clenched fists tremble violently.
The feeling of defeat melts over me. Pleasure pours down.
"It c-came all the way inside to the end... I couldn't even breathe properly and just, kept o-orgasming again and again..."
"......."
"But when the dick pulls o... out, it's really... nice, you know?"
"...Why?"
"Th-that's... first of all, it's packed so full it almost hurts. Then from there... the dick gets pulled all the way back out..."
"......."
"I can hear the s-sounds from behind my back. Because I was so wet, every time the dick pulled out, sticky sounds were just, just...♡"
Eunji pauses for a moment.
It wasn't to catch her breath.
"And then as it rammed back inside, Matthew-ssi's hands tightly grabbed and pulled my... thighs, you see...?"
"......."
"Then the l-long dick gets pounded all the way deep... pressing down hard... on my insides."
"......."
"...I kept o-orgasming continuously like that so I don't remember well. That's how he came once... Matthew-ssi did."
Feeling differences like a height and depth unlike when doing it with me... Eunji repeatedly reached climax.
Matthew-ssi was also satisfied inside Eunji's body, which kept cumming endlessly like that, and ejaculated...
"Next... Matthew-ssi lifted me up while doing it."
"Lifted...?"
"I had no strength to move, but Matthew-ssi said this position felt the best, so he lifted and held me while... inserting it."
"...So, was it good?"
Could I... do that? Insertion while lifting and holding Eunji.
...I probably couldn't.
Because I am weak, and Matthew-ssi is strong.
"This is a l-little embarrassing, but..."
"...Why?"
"It felt s-so good I almost passed out...♡"
Eunji leans slightly toward me and whispers in a lowered voice.
A lie? To call it a lie, the subtle quiver in her voice and the way she swallows her spit are far too unfamiliar.
"When he inserted it, my body sank downward so the d-dick went in ex-tremely deep... so my inside was like, pressed down... and I came."
"...And then you passed out?"
"B-but I didn't want to keep making embarrassing sounds... so without realizing it, I clung to Matthew-ssi and covered his... mouth, you know?"
"...Yeah."
"...That's when a bit of a... embarrassing mark was left on Matthew-ssi's neck. I saw it after coming back to my senses..."
That means she felt so good that she left a hickey on that broad neck without even realizing it.
...Yet I can't do it in the position that felt so good to you.
"A... after that?"
"After that, M-Matthew-ssi got a bit excited... I told you, right? What Dust eonni said about him getting really rough during it..."
"...Yeah."
"Heavy breaths pouring out roughly, he just kept heavily slamming his hips in."
"......"
"No matter wh-what the position was... all I could hear was the constant pa-ang, pang... sound from him slapping against my buttocks."
"Wh... what was the position like?"
Once from behind, once lifting her up.
Again? How were you fucked next?
"...Th-that's a secret."
"......."
"But it was a l-little embarrassing, though...♡"
"...Right. A secret."
Ah....
I was the one who suggested this method, but this is a bit, a bit... walking a tightrope.
It really feels like a version of Eunji has come into existence that I don't know.
I've discovered yet another addictive agony.
"B-but you know, oppa."
"Yeah?"
"If... an excited Matthew-ssi ki-kissed me while doing it..."
"......."
"Would you get... angry?"
...What is she talking about?
A kiss? A kiss... I never gave permission for that, but now that I've already told her to go have sex, does a kiss even matter?
But... my honest heart wishes she hadn't.
"...Did you?"
"Uh... th-that's... a secret."
Why... are you choosing a secret instead of a lie?
Don't tell me... did you really entwine tongues and kiss so stickily, just like the delusion I had a moment ago?
...No. It's not. It can't be.
"Ah... it must be charged a bit by now, right? Hang on. I'll get my phone and show you the photo..."
"......"
Eunji gets up from her seat and heads to the room.
Left alone, I belatedly realize just how excited I am.
A neck drenched in sweat, bulging pants, twitching and trembling fists.
Excitement and defeat packed so densely in my head that there's no room for delusion to creep in.
"Oppa?"
"...Yeah."
"Here... u-uhm. Seeing it like this, it is a bit embarrassing..."
Eunji, who has returned to sit next to me before I noticed, gently holds out her phone.
The screen shows a messenger app rather than the gallery.
And the chat partner is Matthew-ssi.
The chat visible slightly above consists of businesslike messages, but in the most recently received single photo...
"......."
"I... was making th-this kind of face? It's a bit em, embarrassing..."
Disheveled hair and a languidly melted face.
Unfamiliar. This side of Eunji is so deeply unfamiliar and new to me.
Just how big was the difference that made you show such an expression to Matthew-ssi?
Other things besides this expression... the lies she told me, and the unsaid secrets—
"Ha. Ha, haah..."
"A-are you okay? Oppa, are you okay?"
"I-I'm fine. Just, just..."
It's because it feels too good. So... good that my heart throbs with pain.
Right now, I am incomparably excited.
My dick, so erect it hurts, is proof of that. But I...
...can't bring myself to demand sex from you.
At least not right now... to you, who just came back after being ravished by the superior male in this photo.
...Because, if. Just what if.
I might face the dreadful possibility that the condom was actually a lie... and that he ejaculated heaps into her pussy.
Because I feel like I'll actually confront that delusion I've already imagined countless times in my head.
"G-good job today... Let's sleep now."
"...Mm. Oppa... thank you for waiting for me too."