11. The Right Answer
11. The Right Answer
There's a difference between trusting your lover and understanding everything about them.
I trust Eunji absolutely, but...
Just as I can't easily answer the question,
"Did Eunji go to the Association today and come back after sucking Matthew-ssi's cock?"
"......."
I sit alone on the large sofa, staring blankly at the clock.
Thirty minutes until Eunji returns.
Training usually ends around 7, but I asked her to come home about an hour late on purpose.
"Haa."
My head is throbbing.
It's not because of any resentment stemming from the fact that I was deceived.
The method Matthew-ssi proposed was certainly... good. It was good, but...
'Don't you think something you don't know about is still happening somewhere, even now?'
It feels like a disgusting voice is whispering right beside me.
Of course, I have a very simple way to ignore that kind of discord.
I close my eyes.
I face the delusion.
"......."
Perhaps it's not a delusion, but something that might be happening even at this very moment.
Eunji, meeting Matthew-ssi alone after training.
Since I didn't guess correctly yesterday, if she does it today... she'll do it twice.
I have asked Eunji to use her mouth before.
It wasn't often, since she gets embarrassed and it seems a bit overwhelming for her,
but still, the sight of her lowering herself in front of me, taking my cock in her mouth and looking up at me, was quite stimulating.
...What if the difference is that the person watching is no longer me, but another man?
"...Ha."
The image of Eunji surfaces beyond my closed eyes.
Kneeling in front of Matthew-ssi... Eunji, slowly taking his long cock into her mouth, looks a little overwhelmed.
"......."
There's no sound.
When she did it for me, she didn't seem that overwhelmed, so I don't know what sounds she would make.
The pace would be very slow.
Slowly, gently moving her head forward, then back... she'd suck Matthew-ssi's cock diligently.
"Hooo...."
Just watching Eunji, her jaw opened wide to accommodate another man's cock instead of mine, makes me erect.
Because it's agonizing, I'm aroused.
Beep- ttik, ttik, ttik, ttik-
The front door opens.
Eunji... has returned.
As I get up from the sofa and head to the entrance, I meet Eunji coming into the house.
"Oppa!"
"Eunji."
Like always, Eunji smiles brightly and comes into my arms.
Warm.
And from now on, within 2 hours, I have to guess correctly whether Eunji sucked Matthew-ssi's cock and came back.
Finding evidence isn't easy.
Naturally, since Eunji would want me to guess the right answer, I asked her not to leave any noticeable evidence.
So I have no choice but to rely on imagination.
Maybe I should call it delusion power instead.
"Oppa, they said my hero code name is coming out soon. A name other than Eunji."
"That's new. A bit awkward too."
"Right? I wanted to choose it myself, but they said the Association issues it originally...."
We're sitting together in front of the TV, which is on meaninglessly.
I'm answering what Eunji says, but all my attention is focused on her mouth.
Did Eunji do it today?
"Matthew-ssi said he's going on a business trip tomorrow, so Dust-eonni is going with him."
"...Really?"
So she's speaking casually with Dust-ssi now.
...No, more importantly, Matthew-ssi is busy tomorrow.
So does that increase the likelihood that she finished it in advance today?
As I subtly glance over, Eunji's lips glisten slightly.
Her lips are moist and smooth, as if she had reapplied lipstick a few hours ago.
"...Sigh."
As I let out a low breath, a momentary image overlaps in my mind.
After the fellatio, Matthew-ssi's cock smeared with blotchy lipstick marks from Eunji.
And then Eunji, wiping her mouth and fixing her lipstick afterwards.
"......."
It's entirely possible.
But... it's not enough to be certain.
A little more, just one more thing. If I only had one more small piece of evidence...
"So tomorrow, Mirage-ssi is going to help with my training, he said..."
"......."
The distance between Eunji and me is close enough.
So close that with every word she speaks, we can feel each other's breath moving between her opening and closing lips.
And this faint but distinct fishy scent that grazes the tip of my nose is surely...
"...What's wrong, oppa?"
"Huh? Ah... no. What did you just say?"
"I said Mirage-ssi will help with training tomorrow."
...To say it's a scent originating from my own erect cock, it's too... strong.
Faint but potent. It's a heavy, fishy smell paradoxical enough to force acceptance of that contradiction.
So, does that mean... Eunji sucked Matthew-ssi's cock today and came back?
"I think Mirage-ssi and oppa would get along well! Mirage-ssi once hurt his eyes protecting people."
"......."
"Oppa also stepped forward to protect me and... got hurt, didn't you."
"...It's almost 10."
"Huh? Oh, oh, is it?"
Do you know that my heart is pounding like it's about to burst right now?
You can probably feel my racing heartbeat beside you.
But you wouldn't know the reason is so pathetic and lame.
If I pick the wrong answer here, tomorrow Eunji will do it three times. She'll come back after sucking Matthew-ssi's cock three times.
Hurriedly, three times, beside Matthew-ssi who's busy because of his business trip.
It's a choice that's good for no one—not me, not Eunji, not even Matthew-ssi.
"I'll guess. Today... whether you did it."
"...Okay."
But Eunji and Matthew-ssi also... deceived me.
They deceived me for my sake.
So I will also, for my sake, deceive myself.
For the sake of the me who wants to be more tormented, I'll pretend to know nothing and answer like this.
"You didn't do it today either, did you...?"
"......."
Come on... answer that you did it and came back.
Give me the agony that stabs my heart like needles.
You can be disappointed in me, you can resent me.
"...I did. Today."
"...Ha. Ha, haa."
"I took... pictures too. Just like oppa asked."
I feel like I'm going to come right here.
Finally, I understand what the doctor said to me.
'Because your head doesn't recognize agony as a loss, you end up choosing to torment yourself.'
Why? Because if given the same amount of profit and loss, the loss feels twice as good.
Right now, watching Eunji suck another man's cock is better than Eunji sucking mine.
More than twice as good.
"You... got it wrong again. It must have been hard for oppa too, so I, I understand!"
"......."
"...Then tomorrow, I have to do it three times, right?"
"Th... that's right."
"What about today's... what should we do?"
Eunji's expression clearly reveals her troubled heart.
A kind of negative emotion more perplexed and distressed than irritation or anger.
"...Will you show me?"
"......."
Did Eunji really come back after sucking Matthew-ssi's cock today?
Twice, even.
It's not that I don't trust Eunji... but I want to confirm it.
Because only when I capture that blatant evidence clearly with my own eyes will the delusions stop.
"I, I said earlier... didn't I? The Branch Manager-nim has a business trip tomorrow."
"Yeah."
"So he seemed a little... busy today too. There wasn't much time...."
Eunji slightly holds out her phone screen.
Avoiding my gaze, she adds in a small voice.
"We did it in... the Branch Manager-nim's office. I also went right after finishing my workout...."
"......."
"There really wasn't much time."
The background is in front of the office desk.
It was a photo taken by Matthew-ssi, from his point of view.
The first picture is from just before they started.
...A cock incomparably longer and thicker than mine, and Eunji with a nervous expression.
"...Do you want me to tell you how it was?"
"A, a little bit... just b, briefly."
I want to postpone the detailed commentary until tomorrow.
As I gently swipe the screen with my finger, the next photo shows the fellatio already in full swing.
Eunji... slowly lowering her head between Matthew-ssi's legs, starting to swallow his cock with her open mouth.
"...It was different, wasn't it?"
"H, huh? What was?"
"From when you suck mine... it was different, wasn't it?"
"...Do I need to lie?"
I nodded. Nod nod.
But I know full well that what Eunji is about to say isn't a lie.
It's just an excuse to ease the burden on my mind.
"...It was different."
"Uh... how?"
With trembling fingers, I swipe the screen sideways.
This time, it's a photo of Eunji with her head lowered so much the cock is barely visible.
Her expression looks a little overwhelmed, but the blush seems slightly deeper than before.
"It was... longer, so it reached... deep into my throat."
"......."
"A, and just like Dust-ssi said... it was really thick."
"Ha... ha, haa...."
"Do I have to open my jaw really wide... to swallow it like this?"
Listening to Eunji's much-reduced voice, I swipe the photo sideways.
...Ejaculation. It's the moment of ejaculation.
Eunji's cheek is slightly puffed out, and her eyes are wide open.
"...And even when he came, inside my mouth... it just th, throbbed and so much... came out."
"...More than me?"
"...M, more than... oppa."
My chest stings.
Barely managing to swipe the photo again, I see the same composition, the same Eunji, but...
"H, honestly, I didn't plan on swallowing it...."
"......."
"The cock went in so deep... he came deep in my throat."
"...So?"
"So I just n, naturally... swallowed it all."
"......."
"...Sorry. I thought I needed to take a picture after I was done, too."
It's Eunji, showing her empty mouth, opened wide for the camera.
Sticking her tongue out slightly, she's demonstrating that she swallowed every bit of the previous ejaculation.
To me? Or... to Matthew-ssi? Who is she showing this to?
"I-if you hate it, tell me, oppa! I won't swallow it tomorrow...."
"...No."
"Th, then...."
"Swallow it tomorrow, too."
"...Okay."
"Is that... the last of the photos?"
"Th, the second time was just the same, basically...."
It's a little disappointing, but anyway, what matters is tomorrow.
I look forward to Eunji, who will come back after swallowing all of Matthew-ssi's semen, not mine.
Three fellatios, three ejaculations.
...I'm looking forward to tomorrow.