Chapter 219: Lee Do-hee Guild Meeting
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 219: Lee Do-hee Guild Meeting
'Hmm...'
First, I spread my senses around the area.
What if some scumbag was blackmailing the Building Owner Auntie with a weird video of her?
But there was no one.
The security guards were on duty as usual, and I couldn't detect any other men nearby.
'Right, the Building Owner Auntie would never do something like that... Does this mean I rudely interrupted her... private time?'
I could see Necroumbra next to her, but surely... Nah, it couldn't be him, right? If anyone was pouncing, it'd be the auntie... Huh?
'No... it can't be, right?'
Something was suspicious, but I couldn't just beat up Necroumbra on suspicion alone. Besides, what was the point of interrogating a creature that couldn't even speak? And if there had been some kind of coercion, I could just talk to the auntie about it later to find out.
For now...
"E-Excuse me!!!!"
Time to run.
I made a swift exit, the image of the auntie's flushed face and awkward smile burned into my mind.
Thud...
"D-Do-hee?"
*
I returned to my home.
My sweet home.
"It's really been a while. I think it's been about two months, but it feels like I've been away for ages."
- So what was that about earlier?
- It's obvious...
- Ahem.
- Guys, she's a civilian.
- Hey, hey, now.
"Alright, from now on, anyone who mentions the Building Owner Auntie gets a permanent ban. And just so you don't start any more weird rumors, it wasn't an affair or anything. I think... she was just taking care of things by herself. Anyway, no more talk about it!!"
- Yep.
- Mmph mmph.
- You killed her, Do-hee...
- Oh for real? Then that's hilarious lol.
- Well, it happens lol.
- So why would you just barge into someone else's house like that?
- Seriously, Do-hee has no manners.
- Come to think of it, there weren't any men's shoes.
- Do-hee was in the wrong.
"No, this is all your fault!!"
I felt wronged, too.
Word that I was out had spread like wildfire. On the way from the Tower to my house, perverted rapists were, no joke, waiting for me at every single step.
Total victory if you can just shove your dick in!
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Fuck her first, think later!
This bitch will love it even if you rape her, so whoever fucks her first, owns her!
A super-duper king-sized elixir that gives you a total of 1600 stats for free if you fuck her right!
These absurd rumors, along with someone's instigation, had spread as if they were true, forcing me to run across the rooftops to avoid them. Of course, most of them were probably just people who wanted to see me in person, but how could I know if they were truly innocent fans or rapists-in-waiting?
To me, they all looked like potential rapists.
"So, it's all your fault! What was I supposed to do when you all rushed at me like you were going to grope me?!"
- While opening the door without knocking.
- What does opening the door without notice have to do with the roof being blown off?
- lolololol
- Weren't you just as crazy for kimchi jjigae as they were for your pussy...?
- So you're saying all men are potential criminals?
- So you ran away because you perceive all men as potential sex offenders?
‘All men are potential criminals…? Huh?’
For a moment, my mind went blank.
"......Alright! In a little while, we'll be holding our public guild meeting. Everyone, please gather in the first-floor conference room!!"
- lolololol
- Look at her changing the subject.
- It's okay, it happens.
- Do-hee controversy.
- That was a fucking trap investigation lol.
- She almost took a trip to rock bottom lol.
- I mean, from Do-hee's perspective, she's not wrong lol.
- Mmph mmph.
Just like that, what could have been a cancellation party was averted, and the incident with the auntie was erased from my mind.
*
About an hour later.
All of the key members of the Lee Do-hee guild's management team had gathered in the conference room.
Excluding the Building Owner Auntie, there were six people in total: the de facto manager Lee Ji-hye, the guild website administrator Lee Yu-ra, and all four of the security guards. There were more guards, but these four were said to be the ones who handled the actual operations.
And this time, it wasn't a secret meeting, but a public one for the broadcast.
The civilians would be automatically blurred out, except for me, but the contents of the meeting would be open to all.
"I now declare the first meeting of the Lee Do-hee Guild open!!!"
So, where was the Building Owner Auntie, you ask?
"Here you go~ Eat up before you start~"
The door opened, and the Building Owner Auntie came in pushing a tray.
On it was a massive pot of tuna kimchi jjigae she had made, enough for everyone to eat.
And it wasn't just the stew. For side dishes, there was grilled mackerel, steamed egg, diced radish kimchi, premium Korean beef patties, stir-fried sausage and fish cakes, and grilled Spam, along with steaming hot, freshly made white rice!!
A spread of my favorite Korean dishes filled the table.
"Yeah~~! This is it! This is what I rushed over for, Auntie!"
"Hohoho… Just knock before you open the door next time, dear?"
"Ah, of course. I'm sorry! Alright, everyone, our meeting will begin after we eat!"
- ???
- I thought this was a public guild meeting.
- You said it was mandatory for all guild members to watch lol.
- The guild members are confused.
- You gonna give us some too...
- What's with the sudden mukbang?
- ?
- You told everyone to come.
- That looks so fucking delicious.
- Hah... makes me want to make her my wife (This message has been deleted).
And so, the mukbang of the Lee Do-hee Guild's executive staff began. I turned off the 360-degree camera setting and adjusted it so only I was visible.
- ???
- What are you doing?
- Their faces are blurred anyway, we can't see them.
"I know you guys will just try to peek at the other women's panties. Just look at me."
- Wow...
- I didn't know, but I'll be sure to look next time.
- Come to think of it, that's possible, huh?
- Ehehe, Ji-hye-nunim's panties (This message has been deleted).
- Everyone, please sexually harass Do-hee only.
- Show us more cleavage.
- Looks delicious. Do-hee, I mean.
- I've never seen so many people get kicked from Do-hee's stream as today lol.
- And that's her version of drawing the line lol.
After everyone had eaten their fill, we finally began the real meeting.
"We will now begin the first public guild meeting."
This was the first step for our great guild.
"Ji-hye. Was the recruitment of female guild members successful?"
First, the most important matter.
Could women also become my believers?
I had established a doctrine that same-sex relations between women were possible, but I still didn't know how it had been applied in practice.
And if it worked, how was it done?
"Yes. All 12 female Awakeners successfully used your onahole to become members of our guild and believers of the Lewdness Cult."
"Oh... and the specific method?"
It was a bit of a 19+ topic, but wasn't that what our guild was all about?
"Well... they were registered as believers after rubbing their... parts together and reaching orgasm at least once. But in most cases, when the user climaxes, the onahole also climaxes, so it's enough for the user to feel it. However, there have been some recent changes."
Before, it was simple: just have sex using any hole, and that was it. So it seems they had solved it with a scissoring orgasm.
But now, things had changed a little. The throat pussy, the ass pussy, and the real pussy. Each of these three spots had to be used twice, for a total of six times, to receive the full 240 stats.
"There was a solution for the changes, too. For the back hole, they can use a double-ended dildo, and for the mouth, they can use the 69 position to reach orgasm together."
The pussy could be handled with another pussy, the back hole with a dildo, and the mouth pussy could be marked by a pussy.
"Oh... that's easier than I thought? We might get a lot of women joining, then?"
That's right.
The Lee Do-hee Guild was no longer the exclusive domain of men.
In fact, it had become more accessible to women.
If women had to have sex with a man to join the guild, they would feel a great deal of resistance. But having to have sex with another woman to join?
'Or maybe not? Is that a big turn-off, too?'
Ji-hye gave me the answer.
"Among the new members this month, the male-to-female ratio is 7:3. Six thousand people passed the first round, and 1,800 of them were women."
"Wait a minute... this month, as in, 6,000 people applied in one month?"
"Ah, that's not the number of actual applicants, but the number of people who passed the initial document screening. They only truly become our guild members when their turn for the onahole comes and they use it. If you include the people who have only submitted their documents and are waiting for review, the number is much, much higher."
Not just anyone could join our guild.
First, you had to have no criminal record, and you would be expelled for committing a crime.
The definition of a crime mostly followed Korean law, but for some sex-related matters, it followed the laws of our Lewdness Cult.
However, actual rape and sexual assault were excluded.
Aren't those just crimes committed by trashy criminals?
Still, prostitution was allowed. Sexually harassing comments were also permitted, depending on their severity.
Of course, sex-related crimes against me were also overlooked.
And one more thing.
If the applicant was already an Awakener, they were thoroughly vetted in case they were a spy from another guild.
This was the job of the security guards and Yu-ra.
Running background checks didn't feel like an entirely honorable method, but it was a necessary evil, so I allowed it.
As a result, the number of people waiting for their documents to be reviewed was...
"Wait, is this right? One million people? Are you kidding me?"
A whopping one million people were waiting for their document screening.
- Wow...
- And here I thought having tens of thousands of people ahead of me after passing the screening was bad.
- The ones with waiting numbers are the real flexers since they passed the screening lol.
- The Great Do-hee, solving unemployment.
- Taking a break from work? No, I'm on the waiting list.
- Fuck, I should've registered sooner.
- The best time to start is when you think you're late.
- Don't you have to complete Awakener training?
- You can edit your application, so just apply in advance and then do the one-month Awakener training course.
- You can pass the document screening just by proving you're currently enrolled in an Awakener training course.
Ninety percent of these people had flocked here after the video on how to climb the Tower without ever dying using the onahole went viral. And half of that 90% were people who had applied in the last three days after I got my EX-rank trait.
Why hadn't people climbed the Tower before?
Because even if you only reached the 10th floor, you could live the sweet freeloader life farming in the neutral zone and making a killing.
The reason was, of course, that they valued their lives.
According to statistics, the survival rate for the 1st floor of the Tower was almost exactly 50%.
What kind of iron-willed person would gamble their life on a 50% chance?
What's that? You're a former SWAT team member and trained for a year at a top-tier Awakener facility that costs 20 million won a month?
Too bad. If you get unlucky and draw an S-rank difficulty ordeal, you'll most likely die.
By the time you reach the 10th floor, 80 to 90 percent of the initial challengers are gone.
The Tower was a place of extreme difficulty, a brutal survival game.
But Lee Do-hee's Faith and the onahole effect took full responsibility for that. It raised the survival rate up to the 10th floor to a whopping 100%.
'So this is why it's an EX-rank trait.'
It was the moment a grim survival story about climbing the Tower turned into a coddling, overpowered one.
As a result, everyone and their mother was now applying to the Lee Do-hee Guild to get a piece of that sweet, easy life.
My turn will come eventually.
It was the so-called "waiting list meta."
You can live recklessly, but if you get into the Lee Do-hee Guild, you hit the jackpot? Even I would submit an application first and ask questions later.
Plus, you even get a chance to use a realistic, full-body Lee Do-hee onahole. The place to lose your virginity? The Lee Do-hee Guild!
"That's not all. There's something even more important."
"There's... more?"
"Yes. First, Faith can be used even in the 11th-floor prison escape trial, where stats are restricted, and the 20th-floor trial where you fight a clone of yourself."
"Wow..."
It even eliminated any and all unforeseen variables.
You could break through floors that restricted your stats. This was the power of the god, Lee Do-hee.
"What about... the 35th floor?"
"Yes, it works on all of them. Just as Faith can be used in the real world even if you haven't entered the Tower or become an Awakener, it is never subject to any restrictions, anywhere."
"No way..."
Some people went through hell on those floors, getting fucked over and over to clear them, but our guild members could just breeze through? I felt a bit jealous...
'Wait, are our guild members going to climb faster than me?'
The stats you could get from the onahole and breast milk were 400 to all stats.
Even if you got nothing else and went in with a raw 400 to all stats, that was equivalent to the stats of someone on the 40th or 50th floor. But with that overwhelming stat advantage, they would probably aim for solo plays, hidden endings, and true endings, which would inflate their stats even further.
"So... as long as you join our guild, you can breeze through to the 50th floor?"
"That's right. Honestly, you'd be an idiot not to join. If it weren't for Jeremy Oswald, it wouldn't have been strange for the entire nation to unite, lock you up somewhere, and use you as a stat vending machine. Right now, many people still don't know or don't care, but it won't be long before most of the citizens of the Republic of Korea have submitted an application to the guild. Now that all this has been made public, the applications will probably flood in even more."
"......"
'So my EX-rank trait really was insane...'
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. My purpose right now wasn't just to ask about the guild's waiting list.
"Phew... In any case, women can easily become Awakeners and use my onahole without feeling burdened, right?"
"That's correct. Aside from the fact that it's a double-ended dildo, which makes it difficult for virgins to use, any woman can easily obtain stats."
"Yaaawn..."
Just then, Lee Yu-ra, who had been blinking her sleepy eyes, let out an involuntary yawn and covered her mouth in surprise.
'Right, it's just been me and Ji-hye talking, so she might be a little bored.'
But it wouldn't be boring anymore.
"Alright. Then you should all go become Awakeners, too."
Yes, this was my initial goal. I didn't want to leave our guild's management team as ordinary people and risk an accident. No matter how much backing they had, there was no guarantee that some desperate person wouldn't try something.
"What...?"
"Huh?"
"Do-hee?"
Rather than living in anxiety as ordinary citizens, just get stronger.
And anyway, once we break through the 50th floor, I'm going to build a guild house there, which will provide perfect protection later on.
However, to get there, they needed to clear at least up to the 10th floor, which is why I told them to become Awakeners.
"The security guards should go, too."
"But... who will manage the guild then?"
Right, if all the staff went to climb the Tower, who would look after the guild?
"I will."
I would do it myself.
"Just give me a simple handover, and I'll run our guild for the time being."
Guild Master Lee Do-hee.
Finally trying her hand at guild management.
'To be honest, I've been leaving everything to them for too long...'
While the giant guilds were busy with their 81st-floor conquest, I would make full use of the six-month period Jeremy Oswald had given me.
First, I'd get everyone above the 10th floor, and then I could leisurely hire more staff and have them climb in shifts.
The whole situation would probably be sorted out in a week or two.
"And in the meantime, I'll recruit new members for our management team. You've all had too much work on your plates, haven't you?"
Of course, I was only talking about Ji-hye.
"Alright, let's all go right now. Lee Do-hee Guild, move out!!!"
"Uh... we have to use the onahole first..."
"Ahem."
"So, I have to do... that and that with Do-hee's thing?"
Everyone seemed a little embarrassed.
"Uh, just cover your faces when you do it!"
Of course, I was a little embarrassed, too.