Home Sweet Home
As the morning sun over the northern Gray Zone crept through the broken windows of the abandoned motel...
"Ugh... This is so annoying. I smell like rat shit from head to toe..."
Yui's appearance as she trudged down from the second floor made her look exactly like a living Walker.
Dark circles stretched from beneath her purple eyes all the way to her chin, and her tangled hair was caked with dust.
The three women had crammed themselves into the one usable room, but between the scratching of rats in the ceiling and the sewer stench, Yui hadn't managed a wink of proper sleep.
"Ughhh... My back's killing me... The floor was way too hard~"
Eve, who came down after her, looked equally exhausted.
But the moment she spotted Ban sprawled across the first-floor couch, her weary eyes sparkled with delight. She hurried over on quick steps and plopped down at the edge of the couch where he lay.
Her torn underboob top peeked daringly through the gap in her white lab coat, but she didn't seem to care in the slightest.
"Master Ban! Did you sleep well~? I really thought I was going to die of fear yesterday. Hehe."
Whether the nightmare from yesterday had already half-faded after waking up, she pressed close to him with that trademark sunny expression, as if her head were filled with flower fields.
"Yaaawn~ Slept like a log. This place must have good vibes. Best damn sleep I've had in ages. But what's with you... Why are you so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?"
Ban stretched and sat up. He really did look like he'd slept incredibly well—his face was fresh and glowing.
Haze, who had risen early and was smoking by the window while gazing outside, also looked perfectly composed as she slung her sniper rifle over her shoulder. For someone who'd rolled with Aegis, this level of roughing it was just another day.
"Hey!!! Are you out of your damn mind?! There were even more rats on the first floor—how the hell did you sleep in this shithole?!"
Yui kicked the rickety table in a fit of irritation.
"Shorty, when you're tired enough, it's only natural to sleep anywhere—even on the street. You girls are just too damn spoiled. Pink-Eyes, hurry up and pack your gear. We're moving out."
Ban casually ignored Yui's rant, stuck a cigarette between his lips, and headed outside.
"Yui, enough. Why can't this native girl adapt?"
Haze gently scolded her sister as the three women stepped out together.
Their eyes immediately caught Ban's back as he skillfully gathered old wires and empty tin cans from between the collapsed walls around the motel.
"Huh...? What's that?"
"Perimeter booby traps. Ban set them up around the area last night."
Haze opened the HUMVEE door and answered calmly. Both Yui's and Eve's eyes widened at once.
"Wait... I thought that bastard was just a thoughtless idiot living on pure instinct. He's actually doing stuff like this?"
"Oh my... Master Ban is surprisingly meticulous."
Eve gazed at Ban's broad back and let out a small, impressed sigh.
Despite grumbling that it was annoying and acting prickly, he had meticulously laid out a flawless survival net so they could all sleep safely through the night.
In the cold morning air of the Gray Zone, the three women felt a strange, quiet sense of reassurance.
Purr—clunk!
The massive HUMVEE that had been rumbling along the rough road suddenly let out a loud noise and came to a stop.
Haze in the driver's seat let out a small sigh and lifted her hands from the wheel.
"Ha... This is bad."
Ban, who had been following close behind, stopped his bike and knocked on the driver's side window.
"What's wrong, Sexy Sniper? Did you suddenly miss my handsome—"
"Please stick to one nickname. And stop with the nonsense."
Oh. Nice cut.
"We've run out of fuel. We left in such a hurry yesterday that I couldn't check it properly. It's my fault."
The vehicle had broken down right in the middle of the Gray Zone. Yui and Eve, sitting in the back, clutched their heads in despair.
"Aaaack! I seriously can't sleep outside tonight! I didn't get to wash at all yesterday and I feel like I'm going to die!"
"Master Ban! What if a horde of Walkers shows up?!"
"God, you girls are loud. Shut up for a second. This isn't the Dead Zone—a Walker horde isn't going to pop out of nowhere. Anyway, I gotta take a piss."
Even in this situation, that crazy bastard picked at his ear as he staggered into the dense forest beside the road.
"Ha, he's a real expert at flipping people's stomachs!"
As Yui grabbed the back of her neck and fumed, Ban's voice suddenly rang out loudly from inside the forest.
"Hey!! Girls!! Get over here!!"
"Why?! Did a Walker come out?!"
"No, just come here already!"
Haze instantly drew her rifle and dashed toward the forest. Yui and Eve followed right behind her, trembling.
Pushing through the trees toward the sound of his voice, the three women stared with their mouths agape at the sight before them.
There, half-covered in vines yet with its outer walls perfectly preserved, stood a completely intact two-story house.
Ban had already kicked the front door wide open and was rummaging around inside.
"In the middle of the northern Gray Zone... I never imagined a house this intact would still be standing."
Haze muttered in disbelief as she stepped inside.
The interior was nothing short of a miracle.
On the table were piles of canned food with plenty of shelf life left—clear signs that someone had been living here until recently—along with an entire carton of Greenhouse supply-line cigarettes.
"Ooh! Jackpot. Greenhouse~!"
The Greenhouse enthusiast tore open a pack and grinned like an idiot.
But the miracles didn't stop there.
"Sis! Isn't this an old portable generator?! It's actually running?!"
Yui's shout came from the basement.
Drawn by the smell of fuel, Eve entered the storage shed and found two full drums of gasoline sitting neatly before her.
"Master Ban! There are two whole drums of gasoline here! We can fill the HUMVEE completely and still have enough for the bike!"
"Jackpot! The water pump works too! Master Ban! The water heater's on and hot water is coming out!!!"
Eve, who had run over with quick steps and even tested the faucet in the bathroom, shouted in pure joy.
Electricity. Food. Cigarettes. Gasoline.
And a hot shower.
It was as if he'd gone into the Gray Zone to take a piss and come back with an entire intact house.
"Ahhh~ This is it! This is what it means to live like a human! This is exactly why I roam around so much~"
Ban sat on the table, exhaled a plume of smoke, and grinned.
The three women exchanged glances.
They had witnessed this bastard's absurd luck with their own eyes since yesterday, yet it still didn't feel real.
"Seriously... What the hell is this? Does this even make sense?"
Yui let out a hollow laugh in disbelief.
Just moments ago they'd been homeless, savoring the smell of rat droppings alongside actual rats, and now they'd stumbled upon a fully loaded house with hot running water.
It was genuinely surreal.
But the steady rumble of the generator and the warm steam rising from the bathroom were undeniable proof of reality.
"Hey, aren't you washing? You said you smelled like rat shit."
Ban pointed toward the bathroom while blowing out smoke.
The moment the words left his mouth, fire ignited in both Yui's and Eve's eyes.
"I'll wash first! I was in the lab yesterday covered in blood and dust!"
"Don't make me laugh! I was in the damn dissection room! I've been running around in just a bra since yesterday! It's my turn first!"
The two women grabbed the bathroom doorknob and began a fierce, no-compromise battle for shower rights.
An absurd farce of elites from the Eight Factions fighting like dogs over a single warm shower.
Ban clicked his tongue at the ridiculous scene.
"Ah. Why are women always like this? You girls sort it out~ I'll go feed the car and my baby."
Ban waved his hand dismissively, grabbed a fuel can from the storage shed, and headed outside.
Behind him came the tangled sounds of Yui's furious shout—"You damn cow, who said you could cut in line?!"—and Eve's scream.
Once the door closed, Ban hummed a tune as he began pouring gasoline into the HUMVEE's tank.
Glug. Glug.
The cheerful sound of life-giving fuel filling the dried-up tank.
"Tastes good, huh, my HUMVEE buddy? Yes! It tastes good, Master!"
He was talking to himself like an idiot again.
At that moment, the front door opened quietly and Haze stepped outside.
"Oh, Sexy Sniper Ice Witch. Why aren't you washing? Those two will use up all the hot water."
"Sexy Sni... Ha. You really are an idiot. Someone has to stand guard. It looks like people were living here until recently. What if this is a raider outpost?"
Haze stood leaning against the HUMVEE's passenger door, cradling her sniper rifle as usual.
Being the first to watch the firing line while others rested—she still hadn't completely shaken off the responsibility she'd carried as Aegis Captain.
Ban chuckled as he finished pouring the fuel.
"Wow, Aegis really is on another level. But this is my territory now."
"Pardon?"
"I took a piss earlier and scouted all the approach routes within a one-kilometer radius around this house. No Walker tracks, no signs of raiders. And while you girls were spaced out, I set up a couple wires along the forest paths."
At Ban's casual answer, Haze's eyes widened slightly.
So the nonsense about needing to piss had been an excuse.
He had left the complaining women in the HUMVEE and single-handedly secured the perimeter while searching for shelter at the same time.
"Ban... You really are..."
"So stop striking cool poses and go wash up. Your body has been stinking of rat shit too. I'm going to feed my kid."
Ban tossed the empty can aside and walked toward his bike. Haze quietly stared at his broad back.
He had drawn the line saying 'I'm not a babysitter who protects you,' yet in the end he was the one building the strongest fence around them.
A faint smile spread across her lips. She secured the safety on her sniper rifle and headed back inside with lighter steps.
A while later, after filling the tanks to the brim and returning to the house...
The first-floor living room was filled with the faint, clean scent of soap.
"Oh, you're back?"
Eve, standing in the kitchen, greeted him with a bright smile.
The bloodstained, torn lab coat and skirt she'd worn yesterday were now stuffed in the trash.
In their place she wore an oversized gray hoodie and short shorts she'd apparently found in the closet. The clothes were loose, but they struggled to contain her massive missile ports—the fabric stretched tight with every movement.
"There were quite a few clean clothes in the closet that the previous owner left behind. We threw away everything we wore yesterday. Master Ban, you should go wash up too! The water's still warm."
"Nice. Having a meal waiting for me is awesome?"
Ban grabbed some clothes to change into and headed for the bathroom.
After washing away the dust and blood with hot water and emerging fresh and clean, an indescribably foul stench suddenly assaulted his nose.
Ah... Fuck. It really did smell as awful as a Walker's breath.
"...What the hell is all this?"
Ban, towel still wrapped around his head, looked at the dining table and let out a hollow laugh of pure disbelief.
Inside the pot on the table, heated beans, spam, and sausages had melted into an unrecognizable purple mush, bubbling and spitting foam.
"Don't ask me. That crazy cow said she was cooking and dumped every can she could find into the pot. I took one bite and thought I was going to die."
Yui, wearing a baggy white t-shirt, spoke to him with a blank expression. Beside her, Eve held a ladle and protested with an aggrieved look.
"No, to balance the nutrients properly you have to boil the protein and beans together! It's all in the Red Cross nutrition textbooks! The appearance might be like this, but the taste..."
"Take a bite and then say that. That's not cooking—it's a biochemical weapon."
When Yui frowned and glared at her, Haze, who had been leaning against the window, quietly averted her gaze and cleared her throat.
"I only handled the cutting. In Aegis we only ate combat rations, so I've never adjusted fire before. I won't make excuses."
Our big sis has a cute side.
"How does cooking something turn it purple? Is this a cartoon?"
Ban rubbed his forehead as if he had a headache.
In the end, he picked up an unopened can of spam rolling in the corner of the table, punctured the lid with a knife, stabbed the whole block of ham, took a huge bite, and shoved the rest into Yui's mouth.
"Mmph! Crazy bastard! Don't shove it in my mouth like thaaat..."
"What are you even saying."
Yui glared at him while chewing the ham that filled her mouth, but after tasting Eve's biochemical stew, the salty flavor of processed canned meat seemed tearfully welcome.
Ban roughly shoved pieces of ham into Haze's and Eve's mouths as well, then bit open a lukewarm bottle of beer he'd found by the fridge and chugged it down.
With a serious expression, he stared at the biochemical weapon inside the pot for a long time.
"Let's throw that away... They say you'll be cursed if you waste food. But since that's not food, it should be fine."
Ban tossed the empty bottle into the trash, let out a satisfied burp, and pulled out a cigarette.
With a little alcohol in his system and a full stomach, the air in the living room became languid and peaceful—completely different from yesterday.