The Crazy One Is the Scariest in a Fight
The iron door burst open inward with a deafening bang. Ban drew his revolver in one smooth motion and struck a perfect dramatic pose.
"Stylish problem-solver Claude Ban, at your service. No questions allowed."
Huh? Something felt off.
The situation inside the iron door was completely different from what Ban had expected. Not a single person looked flustered. Nearly twenty heavily armed elite operatives had formed a perfect semicircle around the entrance. On top of that, they already had every weapon's safety disengaged and were aiming downrange—like they'd known exactly when and from which direction the intruder would burst in.
'This isn't like the usual script. Shit. I'm fucked.'
The moment that sharp instinct sliced through Ban's mind—
Ratatatatang—! Dududuk—!
Every rifle opened fire at once. Dozens of rounds rained toward the doorway like a metal storm.
Ban kicked off the ground the instant he appeared, launching himself toward the blind spot he'd been hiding in earlier. The concrete where he'd been standing a heartbeat ago exploded into dust and chips.
"Ugh!"
Ban grunted as his back slammed into the wall. He hadn't been able to dodge the entire barrage. His left forearm and the tactical vest over his shoulder were shredded, hot blood pouring down. It was only a graze, but it hurt like hell. Still, only taking this much damage while caught in the crossfire of twenty coordinated shooters? Must've been that insane luck of his again.
"Master...!"
Eve came running, her face drained of all color.
"Fuck, this hurts... I'm fine. Just a scratch."
Ban grimaced and clutched his torn arm. Eve, sniffling, immediately pulled a first-aid kit from her bag and started wrapping his bleeding forearm with hemostatic gauze and bandages. Yeah. This is what a real field medic looks like.
The gunfire from beyond the iron door finally stopped. A gruff, authoritative voice boomed out.
"Were there still Guardian stragglers left? No... looking at him, he's probably just some thug who wandered in from outside."
The voice was relaxed. Arrogant. They'd clearly known from the start that someone might be tailing them.
Ban stroked his freshly bandaged arm, leaning against the wall in his blind spot with a crooked grin.
"Wow, fuck. So you guys aren't pathetic trash after all? You prepared a whole damn feast for me from the beginning?"
"Who the hell are you? That breach wasn't the work of some half-assed looter."
The sound of the leader's combat boots slowly approached from inside the door. Ban popped a cigarette between his lips and answered with a cheeky tone.
"I already told you. No questions."
Weeee—! Weeeee—!
As expected, a piercing emergency siren tore through the entire underground bunker. Red warning lights began to strobe, bathing everything in bloody crimson. The quiet, stealthy infiltration mission had officially gone to hell. From here on out, it was going to be a bloody, flesh-ripping brawl.
"Ban! The emergency alarm went off! They're pouring in from the main gate! You need to get out of there!!"
"I know, I can hear it too. Damn… why does every infiltration mission turn into a surprise party lately? Maybe I really do suck at sneaking."
"Are you an idiot!! What the hell are you babbling about right now?! We're heading up to the high ground! My sister will give you covering fire, so just stay alive and fall back to the warehouse!"
"You're the idiot, shortstack. We still need to secure the requested item."
Ban chuckled and pulled out one of the bombs he'd looted from the first-floor gatekeepers. He spoke quietly into the in-ear mic.
"Eve. Scatter these along the corridor by the stairs we came down."
"Eh? Bombs? There are hostages inside—can we really set them off?"
"You're not throwing them into the room. It's a welcome party for the bastards who'll come rushing after hearing the siren. Just rig some tripwires at the chokepoints."
"O-okayyy!"
Eve hurriedly grabbed the explosives and dashed down the corridor.
Ban spoke into the mic again.
"Oh, and Eve. Once the bombs are set, when you come back just poke the rifle barrel through the door and spray."
"Whaaat?! I learned a little from Sister Haze but… I'm seriously terrible with guns, Masterrr?!"
"I said just spray. Hold the trigger down and shoot at anything that moves."
Ban clicked the revolver's cylinder shut and took a deep breath.
"I'm the guy whose luck is backed by the entire universe, so I'll never get hit by your blind shots. Trust me and just unload everything. Got it?"
"Ugh… okayyy!"
From inside the iron door came the leader's mocking snort.
"Hey. Keep that bastard pinned in the blind spot with suppressive fire and push out from both flanks."
At the command, the sound of combat boots surged toward the doorway. It was about time. From here on, he'd cut loose like a rabid dog off its chain.
"Mind not coming any closer? When a bunch of perverted old men crowd in, even a handsome pretty boy like me gets embarrassed."
"Kuhahahahaha!! Definitely not a Guardian. He's just a straight-up lunatic!"
"Yeah, go fuck yourself."
A smoke grenade flew from Ban's hand into the room.
Boom—!
Thick white smoke instantly flooded the chamber, mixing with the flashing red emergency lights.
"Smoke! Push through! Concentrate fire on the entrance! Lay down a barrage!"
Trained regulars, as expected. They reacted instantly without panic. Rifles took turns roaring, pouring a storm of bullets through the smoke toward the doorway. Perfectly timed suppressing fire that left no openings to reload.
But Ban's movements existed far outside their training manual.
"Master! The setup is finished!"
The moment he heard Eve's signal, Ban exploded out of the blind spot. Bullets were still hammering the entrance. As he charged into the smoke at full speed, his left shoulder suddenly jerked backward.
Ah. Fuck. Took one.
The high-powered round had punched straight through his left shoulder. The pain was excruciating, but Ban only grinned wider, accelerating as he slid across the floor.
He slipped low and fast between the legs of the men guarding the doorway inside the smoke. The first poor bastard he reached after dodging the overhead barrage had Ban slide right under his crotch.
"Hello there, nameless dick."
The revolver barrel he thrust upward buried itself squarely in the man's groin. Without hesitation, Ban pulled the trigger.
Bang—!
"Urk… AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!"
The thick tactical pants exploded outward. The man collapsed, clutching his ruined balls with his eyes rolled back. Poor bastard. The round had probably shredded everything above them too. The pitiful scream of a man losing not just his manhood but his actual life made the others beyond the smoke flinch and hesitate.
The instant Ban cleared the guy's legs, he pushed off the floor and sprang upright. Before the enemies could turn their heads after being aggroed, he first checked on the most important people.
Cecil and Hana. Those precious ladies hadn't stood there like idiots. The moment the fight started, they'd taken cover behind a thick steel structure in the far corner of the room.
Good. Their heads are working just fine. Hostages secured.
Then it was time to cut loose.
"Hey! The thug went around back! Turn and shoot!"
The leader's roar came after he'd finished assessing the situation. All twenty agents who had been fanned out toward the entrance pivoted at once, muzzles swinging toward Ban.
Pshoo—! Tatang!
Dozens of high-velocity rounds screamed toward him.
"Goddamn it, stop shooting already! Hey! I figured a horny pig like you would have shit for brains, but I guess not?"
Ban taunted them while zigzagging rapidly between pieces of cover. Amid the thunder of shattering pillars and exploding bullets, his revolver roared.
Bang!
A perfect hole appeared in the center of one charging bastard's helmet visor. His head snapped back as a fountain of blood erupted and he collapsed.
"This slippery bastard! Surround him!"
The enemies closed in on Ban's cover. He fired at the curved surface of a massive iron crane pillar beside him.
Tang!Kang—!Puk!
The ricochet shot at an impossible angle and buried itself precisely in the neck gap of the body armor of an enemy trying to flank him from his blind spot.
His patented "God-fucking-ricochet" technique. He kept firing until the cylinder ran dry.
Bang—!Bang—!Bang—!Bang—!
Kang—!Keeing—!Ting—!Ting—!
Several of the so-called elite operatives who had been acting tough had their heads blown apart and dropped.
"Crazy ricochet shots?! What kind of bullshit luck was that?!"
The moment the enemies faltered in confusion—
"Master! I'm back!"
Just as instructed, Eve—eyes squeezed shut—poked only the barrel of an outdated rifle through the doorway and held the trigger down.
Dudududududuk—!
Her blind barrage slammed into the completely exposed backs of the men who had all turned to catch Ban.
"Uwaaaaagh! Behind us! Fuck, more coming from outside!"
"Multiple friendlies down! Turn around! We're pulling out!"
The formation completely collapsed under the sudden fire from the rear. Men falling, men spinning in panic, men trying to rush the entrance—it was a beautiful disaster.
"Where do you think you're going? I'm your partner, remember? There's something I've been dying to try."
Ban gripped the two submachine guns he'd looted from the gatekeepers. He kicked off the ground and sprang toward the enemies trying to break for the entrance, leaping into the air like a spring.
Once airborne, he began spinning violently like a top. An incredibly childish yet ridiculously cool dual-wield aerial spin.
Dadadadadadadada—!
The storm of bullets pouring from both hands rained down mercilessly on the panicking enemies' heads. Both magazines emptied in seconds.
The Olympus bastards collapsed one after another under the insane barrage he'd sprayed while spinning through the air.
"Aaaack! This crazy bastard!!"
"My arm! Aaaaaagh!"
The moment he landed, Ban hurled the empty guns to the floor.
The distance had closed completely. Between Eve's suppressive fire and his own aerial barrage, the enemy formation was in tatters. They were now at point-blank range where shooting was no longer an option.
Ban dove straight into their midst. This was the close-quarters dogfighting phase he was most confident in.
"My drone's almost there too!"
Huh? What the hell was that fly girl planning to do by sending it here?
Ban flowed around the knife swing of one charging bastard like water and drew his combat knife.
"Sending a drone to..."
Puk—!
The blade sank deep under the man's chin before he could finish speaking.
"Urk… glurk…"
Ban used the choking man as a meat shield, shoving him forward with a snort.
"…what for?"
"It's a mid-grade drone, okay?! It has a firearm mounted on it!"
With Yui's indignant reply, a white drone whirred in through the open iron door above.
The compact silenced submachine gun mounted beneath it opened fire across the room.
Pushushushushuk—!
Tadadadadadadang—!
"You fuckers! They even have a drone?!"
One man panicked and raised his muzzle skyward. At that exact moment, familiar footsteps pattered in beneath the drone.
"Make waaay! I'm shooting too!"
"Wait, Miss Eve? Didn't you run out of ammo?" Ban asked while still carving through enemies. Why the hell had she come in without a gun?
What Eve held in both hands wasn't a firearm. It was that goddamn magic potion spray—the same one that had melted the quarry's concrete outer wall like ice cream.
"Diiiiiie!"
Chiiiiiiik—! Chichik—!
Eve hosed down the helmets and faces of the men trying to circle behind Ban with thick green liquid.
"Aaaaaaaaagh! My face! It's burning! It's meltiiiiiing!"
Helmet or not, their faces and everything beneath melted like slime. The men collapsed, rolling across the floor in agony.
Oh. Right. That stuff was lethal.
Whoa. That's actually terrifying.
Ban kicked the corpse with the knife still buried in its chin aside and grinned.
Yeah. This is what you call fucking teamwork.