Chemical Weapons Are Scarier Than Bullets
The abandoned quarry on the north shore. In the darkness, Eve carefully pulled out a flask connected to a spray nozzle—a magical potion of her own design. The moment the thick emerald liquid hissed through the specially made nozzle and splattered across the wall—
Sssssssss—
The concrete outer wall began melting like ice cream. Even the rebar embedded inside bubbled with green foam and collapsed like slime.
“Whoa, shit. That is one scary-ass product, Professor. You’re not gonna spray that on me while I’m sleeping, right?”
“No way! Why would I ever melt Master~? I have to sleep cuddling you!”
Ban shuddered as he watched Eve tuck the lethal potion away with a bright, innocent smile.
“This stuff looks like it might splash on me the second we go in. What do we do?”
“It’ll be fiiiine! Why are you so scared~!!”
Ban grumbled the whole way but still shoved his body through the gaping, melted hole. Eve followed right on his heels, practically glued to his back.
Beyond the opening was a wide logistics warehouse. The stench of mold stung their noses as they carefully stepped across the dusty floor. Something clunked against the toe of Ban’s boot. He flicked on a flashlight, keeping the beam at its lowest setting.
“These are supply crates. But the mark on them…”
A faint golden temple emblem stamped on the wooden surface—the symbol of Olympus military supplies. Far from stolen goods, the crates were stacked in neat, standardized rows throughout the entire warehouse.
“Ugh… so they really aren’t just some random thugs.”
“You mean they’re Olympus regular army~?”
“Probably. Looks like the main house sent down a proper strike team. These old farts must’ve gotten dragged into one of their political faction wars.”
Ban frowned slightly and approached the steel door ahead. Faint footsteps echoed from the other side—measured, trained paces.
Yui’s voice crackled through the earpiece from where she waited inside the Humvee.
“Yeah, I hear them. We’ll hide and take them out clean.”
At the same time as Yui’s warning, a bluish laser beam swept back and forth through the gap in the door. Ban peeked at the patrol and clicked his tongue. Just as he suspected, these weren’t the sweaty mercenaries who usually rolled around the northern wasteland. They wore skin-tight tactical suits and full-face helmets loaded with cutting-edge gear that wasteland trash could never afford.
“Man, this just got annoying. If they spot us the alarm’s gonna blow and everything turns to shit.”
Ban quietly adjusted the outdated assault rifle slung over his shoulder. The ancient suppressor would handle the noise, but how the hell was he supposed to drop them before that insane scanner picked them up?
“Eve, fall back for now.”
The pair retreated deeper into the warehouse. Headshots would be useless against those full-face visors. A revolver might work, but if he couldn’t drop both in one go the alarm would scream first.
“What now? Old-world guns won’t punch through their helmets, and the revolver’s too damn loud. Any bright ideas, ladies?”
Ban whispered as he backed up, pressing his back against an old metal shelf. That was when he bumped something protruding from it.
Creak… Creeeeeak… Grooooan… Sploosh.
The entire shelf trembled. A large drum balanced precariously on the very top tilted, rolled, and—
“Huh?”
—tumbled straight toward the shelf right beside the steel door the patrol was about to open.
Crash! Shwaaaaaaaaah!
“Ugh! Fuck, what the hell is this?!”
“Blech!! What the—?! Who the hell put this shit above the door?!”
The two guards who had casually opened the door were instantly drenched from head to toe in thick, black industrial waste oil. Their stupidly expensive thermal scanners? Completely useless now. The visor screens flooded with error messages while the sticky oil clogged the helmet vents, cutting off their air.
“Hurk—can’t see! Can’t breathe! Get it off, quick!”
In full panic, the men flung their rifles aside and frantically released their helmet seals. The moment their sweat-drenched, oil-smeared faces emerged—
“Ta-da! That’s right, it’s me, the handsome problem solver!”
Ban grinned as he spouted his nonsense. His hands, however, were already moving. He drove a combat knife into each man’s jaw, shoving the blade all the way up through the skull in a single clean stroke.
“See? No time to hit the emergency alarm, was there?”
The warehouse filled with the stench of rancid oil and blood. Ban yanked the knives free, shook off the gore, and slid them back into his vest.
“Wooooow! Master! You’re seriously amazing~!”
Eve came sprinting over and latched onto his arm. “The position of the waste drum, the exact timing of when they opened the door, even the probability they’d panic and rip their helmets off! As expected, our Master is a tactical genius~!”
She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, eyes sparkling with pure admiration. Not a single ounce of doubt existed in her voice—only raw, unfiltered worship and affection.
Trust the genius hacker brat to see through it. She had already figured out it was pure luck.
…Well, the idiot who slammed into the shelf by himself was, in fact, Ban. But with Haze’s unnecessary analysis added on top, Eve’s eyes grew even more fanatical.
“That’s right~! Sister Haze is correct~! Master is the universe’s greatest alpha-male genius! King of the continent! God of intellect!”
“……”
Ban shoved Eve’s clinging head away and wiped cold sweat from his brow. I didn’t calculate a single damn thing. I literally just slipped. Still, no point ruining the mood.
“Ta-da! Heh. Well… the experience of this genius problem solver isn’t for nothing. Calculating variables like this is basic stuff. What would a brat like Yui know?”
Oh. She’s been completely hooked ever since that manhole explosion incident.
“Sister… get a grip!! Ah, anyway—you two, from your current position head to the emergency stairs on the left at the end of the corridor. The strongest bio-signatures are clustered on the first basement level. Something’s definitely down there.”
“Roger that. We’re moving.”
Ban and Eve stepped over the oil-drenched corpses and entered the hallway.
Yui stopped him just as he was about to head for the stairs.
“What, you gotta take a shit?”
Right on cue, a white drone slipped through the hole Eve had melted in the wall. It lowered altitude over the bodies and dropped a thin data cable from its underside port.
“Huh? What the—? So I just plug this into their terminals?”
“Holy crap. We’re getting way too good at this. We’re basically secret agents now. So cool, Problem Solver Claude Ban.”
Ban smirked, snatched the cable, rifled through an oil-soaked tactical vest, and yanked out the main comms terminal. The moment he plugged in the drone’s cable—
Yui’s excited voice practically vibrated through the earpiece.
“Now that’s reassuring.”
Ban and Eve moved down the second-floor corridor, took the old emergency stairs, and descended to the first floor. The ground level was a pitch-black unloading bay with no lights. In the distance, near the freight elevator leading underground, two silhouettes stood beneath a faint emergency lamp. Gatekeepers guarding the only path down.
“Hey, brat. Two targets at twelve o’clock.”
Both guards suddenly whipped their heads toward the dark corner opposite the elevator.
“What the? Bio-signature on the other side.”
“Probably just rats. Check it out.”
The men adjusted their weapons and began walking. Ban melted into the shadows like a ghost, soundlessly closing the distance behind them. He reversed his grip on both combat knives and drove them simultaneously into the narrow gap between helmet and body armor, right at the nape of the neck.
Shunk. Shunk.
With their spines severed, the two dropped like mannequins without so much as a scream. Ban caught them by the collars and gently lowered the bodies to the floor. Blood spread silently across the concrete.
“Clean clear. Damn~ See? Buying expensive gear really pays off. Nice work, genius hacker!”
“Yessir, yessir~”
Ban wiped the blood off his knives on a corpse’s pants and looted anything useful. Oh. They really do use high-quality guns and explosives.
“Master! The angle you used to stab the neck earlier was pure art~! Did you study anatomy too?! Such a calculated critical hit, so sexy~!”
Eve clapped her hands excitedly.
“Of course. This body is a master at precisely severing spinal cords. I could probably make it in the murim. Want to try?”
“Um… no thanks. I’ll stick to spraying potions. It’s scary!”
Haze muttered through the earpiece. Well, to a big sister who could blow heads apart with a single clean sniper shot, Eve’s methods probably did look terrifying.
They crossed the first-floor unloading bay and headed for the emergency stairs beside the elevator shaft. The staircase was narrow and steep. The deeper they went underground, the heavier the air became and the thicker the stench of filth grew.
At the bottom, a steel door blocked the entrance to the basement. Ban placed his hand on the handle and tapped his earpiece.
“Hey, brat. Anything waiting past this door?”
“Copy. Eve, follow carefully.”
Ban pushed the steel door open as quietly as possible. It swung smoothly without a sound. Eve gripped her outdated firearm tightly and stuck close to his back.
Beyond the door lay a wide, gloomy space. Ban moved swiftly and silently in the direction Yui had indicated. A little further in, a second steel door leaked faint light. It was slightly ajar, and voices drifted through the gap.
Ban and Eve pressed themselves into the dark blind spot right beside the door.
“So you’re throwing this whole ridiculous tantrum because of one pathetic deadman switch?”
A gravelly, brutish voice—definitely the big bastard they’d seen on the monitor.
“Then why don’t you risk your life and find out for yourself?”
A cold, sharp woman’s voice shot back. Just from her tone you could tell she had guts. She was probably the secretary from the photo.
“We’ll pay you three times the original amount. Treat us as dead per the contract and let us leave. No matter what Senator Agrippa offered you, our money is cleaner and comes with far fewer complications, doesn’t it?”
“Hahaha! These fucking greenhouse flowers really don’t know shit about how the world works.”
The leader laughed like a pig, accompanied by the sound of something heavy scraping across the floor—probably a chair or a weapon.
“Money? Sure, that’s nice. The cash you’re offering plus what I’ll get from Senator Agrippa for killing you… Add it all up and it’s a fortune. But here’s the thing…”
Riiip.
The sound of tough leather or thin fabric tearing violently.
“Kyaaak…!”
This time it was a different woman’s voice. Unlike the previous cold tone, this was a terrified scream from someone experiencing filthy violence for the first time. That had to be the esteemed senator’s daughter, Cecil.
“This is how things work in the lawless zone, ladies. Deadman switch or whatever—the first thing that’s gonna happen is my brothers taking turns enjoying those fine bodies of yours.”
Loud male laughter erupted inside the room.
“Fuck. Why do these kinds of bastards always default to the exact same rape pattern? Bunch of idiots.”
Ban clicked his tongue.
“Ta-da. The problem solver has arrived.”