If You Spent the Money, You Gotta Earn It Back, Right?

"Whoa~ Nice work there, you absolute chad of an old man! That delivery was straight fire. This is what they call the no-brakes lifestyle of the middle-aged, you punks! Or at least that's the vibe."

The gas station barrier door opened, and Ban strolled out lazily, greeting everyone with his usual nonsense.

Mr. Kang, face as stoic as ever, simply shoved two boxes from the passenger seat out the window.

As expected, he didn't dignify the bullshit with a response.

"Check if the goods are all there."

Yui scampered over and snatched the boxes like they were precious loot. The moment she tore open the packaging and inspected the contents, her mouth stretched ear to ear.

"Oh! These are super clean!"

"Okay. Receipt confirmed."

Ban handed over one gold bar and a bottle of vintage whiskey that glowed with an almost mystical luster to Mr. Kang.

"Eight thousand for the goods plus two thousand commission equals one gold bar, and this vintage whiskey is the extra tip. Right? Clean math, huh, old man?"

Mr. Kang accepted the gold bar with a completely blank expression.

Without saying a word, he pulled a small magnifying glass and a reagent bottle filled with clear liquid from the inner pocket of his vest.

He dropped a single bead of reagent onto the edge of the gold bar, then slowly examined the surface through the lens.

Next, he meticulously inspected the cork seal and label finish on the vintage whiskey with those narrow, sharp eyes.

It was the real deal.

Not some flashy plated fake, and the whiskey was a flawlessly preserved relic from the old era.

In this godforsaken world, where deals worth thousands of coins happened every day, there were plenty of scumbags who liked to pull sleight-of-hand or short you on the count. That was simply how things worked here.

A cool transaction with no bloody power struggles or haggling—just immediate payment the second the goods were verified.

The corners of Mr. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Kang's usually rigid mouth loosened by the tiniest fraction.

Money was money, but customers with this kind of no-nonsense personality were exactly the type Porters appreciated.

"Confirmed. I like how clean the numbers are. I'm ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠out."

Mr. Kang rolled the window up without any sticky pleasantries like "thank you" or "please call us again."

The truck reversed with a rough growl, then tore back down the road it had come from with a thunderous roar.

It was a stylish, cold exit without a single glance back.

"Wow. That old man is seriously cool as hell. Didn't run his mouth once, just bounced. Fucking my style."

Ban watched the receding armored truck with genuine admiration.

Haze also nodded with interest as she slung her rifle over her shoulder.

"His skills are solid, but the fact that he keeps his mouth shut is what I like most. It's rare to meet someone with that kind of personality in the mercenary business."

"Of course! Who do you think that old man is!"

Yui, hugging her new equipment with glee, puffed out her chest.

"Mr. Kang is a total celebrity. He's a legendary old-timer. Even the Eight Factions tried to scout him hard—showed up with massive stacks of cash trying to bring him under their wings."

"Oh? The Eight Factions called him and he still said no?"

"Yep! His personality is so upright and strict that he hates the idea of going under anyone and wearing a collar. He told every last one of them—the Eight Factions included—to fuck off, and just runs deliveries with his own crew in their trucks, doing his own thing. Isn't that awesome?"

Listening to Yui's explanation, the corner of Ban's mouth curled upward.

"Hates wearing a collar under someone, huh. Haha. His mindset is exactly like mine. If we need a cargo shuttle next time, we should call him again."

"Are you insane?! This is my equipment so I let it slide this once, but no way next time! Two thousand coins isn't some random dog's name!"

Yui started nagging, but both her hands were already gently stroking the high-grade Guterrat mid-tier drone body and the sleek new terminal she'd unpacked earlier, like they were her babies.

"Whoaaa! Yui, that body design is so cool! It looks like a straight-up alien artifact!"

Eve leaned in close, staring at the drone in Yui's hands with sparkling curiosity.

"Heh. This tiny thing costs seven thousand coins? With that money we could've bought how many pounds of meat and how many cartons of cigarettes?"

When Ban lazily stuck a cigarette in his mouth and spoke, Yui bristled and clutched the drone protectively to her chest.

"Shut up! This is a tactical intelligence asset that'll become the blood and flesh of our solution group, got it?!"

"Yeah, yeah. Then it better earn its keep, right? Hurry up and launch that fly so we can see. The bunker CCTV can cover a 1km radius. How far can that thing go outside?"

At Ban's question, Yui snorted.

"You underestimating this? It's a mid-tier Guterrat model. 1km? Are you kidding me? When linked to our bunker's main comms relay, it can pull full HD without a single speck of noise in a minimum 20km radius!"

The little brat laughed, radiating tremendous pride.

"For real? 20km?! Then can it show those looters taking a shit way out there?"

Ban's eyes sparkled as he expressed his genuinely trashy curiosity.

"I don't particularly want to see anyone taking a shit. A scouting radius like that would be an enormous tactical advantage. Good purchase, Yui."

"The shit part... ugh. Right, sis?! Now, behold the first flight of this genius hacker's drone!"

When Yui manipulated the terminal, a light motor whir sounded and the white drone rose smoothly into the air above the gas station.

The real-time footage transmitted by the drone appeared on Yui's new terminal screen.

"Oh. It's the real deal! This thing's pretty fast too. It's zooming right along, huh?"

Ban peeked over Yui's shoulder at the screen, reacting with clear amusement.

"Obviously. I'll raise the altitude and sweep both the coastline and the forest path. Let's check if there are any more shit-fly bastards loitering around."

Yui skillfully worked the terminal stick.

"Connecting to my terminal from outside like this has a limit of about 10km. Still, that's more than enough!"

Yui was excitedly spinning the drone's lens around, completely absorbed in exploring the wasteland, when—

"Huh?"

From behind, Eve tilted her head while staring at her own terminal.

"Master~ We just got a direct request coming in for us~?"

"A request? From who? No way? I'm a professional NEET, aren't I? We're the Super Lucky NEET Group? We're not taking requests, right?"

Ban practically rapped the word "request" as he tried to dodge it.

"Ehhh? The sender is... Olympussss?!"

When Eve's eyes went wide and she ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠shouted, both Yui—who had been absorbed in piloting the drone—and Haze whipped their heads around at the same time.

"Olympus? Those noble scraps who built a wall around themselves in the center of the continent and never come out?"

"Why would those arrogant pricks send a direct request to us out here in the northern sticks?"

Yui and Haze crowded around Eve's terminal in disbelief.

"What's the content?"

"The ivory blonde is Cecil, and the deep-sea blue hime cut is Hana, apparently~."

"Wow... they're seriously beautiful. You can practically see the noble aura dripping off them."

Yui stared at the photos in open admiration.

"...... A carriage?"

Ban exhaled a stream of cigarette smoke. His voice was thick with mockery, clearly displeased.

"A carriage in a world like this? They're seriously still playing noble inside those walls? And they took that thing outside?"

Ban clicked his tongue in disgust and ground his cigarette butt into the floor.

"They're clueless idiots. This is five hundred percent—hell, a thousand percent—a done deal. They're either Walker food or looter toys by now. They're already dead. I don't have the energy to play corpse hunt. Pass."

A refusal delivered with full NEET laziness and a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠cynical glare.

Yui took one look at his face and smacked him on the back of the head.

"You idiot!! If it's an Olympus request we obviously have to take it!! And it's a direct commission from a senator!!"

"Ow! Hey! What are we gonna do, go find dead people?!"

"Look at the reward, you dumbass!! Cow-tits! How much is the reward?"

"It's... holy crap, two thousand coins in digital currency!"

At Eve's exclamation, both Yui's and Haze's eyes flashed at the same time.

Two thousand coins! The exact bloody amount they'd just spent on delivery, now recoverable in one shot. An insane sum.

But Ban just picked his nose like the number meant nothing to him.

"Nah, I'm good~ I'm rich, remember? My safe's overflowing with gold bars, you know? I don't feel like going all the way into the middle of the Gray Zone to play corpse hunt for a measly two thousand coins~?"

Unable to watch this any longer, Haze flicked the safety off her rifle with a crisp metallic click.

Clack.

"Mr. Ban."

"Whoa, my sexy Haze-chan? How about you put the gun down and talk? You seem pretty worked up right now, yeah?"

"We need the digital coins. We just traded gold and whiskey because we didn't have any, remember? And whether they're dead or alive, we can confirm that on site. We're the solution group, after all."

With the big sister's calm, logical pressure applied, Yui immediately piled on.

"Exactly!! You rotten leader!! If we're going to live in this bunker forever we need steady income! Plus, making connections with an Olympus senator means we'll have so many future favors to call in!!"

The sister tag-team beatdown activated instantly.

Ban slowly backed away behind Eve.

"E-Eve-chan... Professor! These witches are trying to bite me! You're on my side, right?"

He tried to rub his face against her chest, but Eve—unlike her usual self—pushed his shoulder away with a firm expression.

"Master! No matter what, being a NEET is not okay! A man has to work! And those girls in the photo look so pitiful. Who knows what horrible things might happen to such pretty girls out there..."

Even the most reliable breast-pillow girl had turned on him.

"Ah... this is the tyranny of the majority! I refuse to accept it! Starting today, I'm launching a one-man protest!"

Ban clutched his head and declared a strike, but the three women's sharp gazes didn't waver.

"Haa... Fine, fine! Argh! I'll go, okay?! I'll go! Ugh... searching for people is such a pain in the ass..."

In the end, Ban surrendered to the three-way beatdown and was dragged grumbling into the bunker.

"Ugh. What a bunch of rotten members. Where did the leader's human rights go?"

Ban continued muttering as he walked down the bunker corridor, but the three women were already completely focused on preparing to depart.

"Alright! Everyone grab your gear and assemble in the main room!"

Yui started strutting around the bunker control room like a commander.

A short while later, all four had gathered in the main room.

Ban was sprawled on the sofa while the other three stood with relatively serious expressions.

"Okay, here's today's field briefing."

Ban dug at his ear, flicked his finger, and spoke in a lazy drawl.

"Our genius hacker will stay inside the Humvee, running that toy and the satellite network for recon duty. If any shit-flies show up, report immediately."

"It's not a toy, it's a drone! Got it. Just trust my piloting skills!"

Yui answered energetically while stroking the drone.

"Ice Witch. You're on the wheel. If there's a chance to show off your shooting skills, take it. But try to stay in the vehicle if possible."

"Understood. I've finished maintaining the Humvee."

Haze nodded calmly.

"Professor. Pack the medical kit to the brim. If they're already dead then whatever, but if they're still breathing we need to keep them that way to get the two thousand coins."

"Yeees! I packed plenty of bandages and hemostatic agents~! And..."

Eve smiled brightly and pulled a flask from her large bag.

Inside sloshed a thick, dark green liquid that looked like it could shorten your lifespan just by looking at it—the stuff she'd been brewing in the lab earlier.

"Ta-da! I brought the magic potion I finished first-stage testing on! It's a jelly-type spray that melts everything to the bone on contact!"

"......"

A fucking awful silence descended over the main room.

Ban scooted to the far end of the sofa while Haze and Yui instinctively took several steps back just from looking at the flask.

"Cow-tits? That thing is safe, right? It won't melt the bottle and leak everywhere...?"

Yui was visibly shrinking, pressing herself further against the wall.

"Of course! It's in a special case!"

"U-um, Eve-chan. Please don't spray that thing recklessly. I don't want all of us to melt together and become some giant fused abomination with the Humvee, okay?"

Ban broke out in a cold sweat as he pleaded earnestly.

"Hmph. Fine~ I'll only use it in an emergency!"

Eve pouted and stuffed the flask back into her bag.

"And finally, me."

Ban strapped on his signature weapon—a 12-shot custom revolver—around his waist and shoved combat knives into every pocket of his tactical vest.

He then tossed four vintage rifles he'd taken from the armory onto the table with a clatter.

"Just in case, take these zero-recoil toys too. You three each carry one, and I'll take one."

"Huh? You're actually using those toys, Mr. Ban?"

Haze asked, sounding puzzled. Ban usually preferred that insanely powerful revolver of his.

"Ah, I don't want to waste my special bullets on something as annoying as searching for people. I'll just tick them off with these and call it a day."

"Vintage ammunition is rarer, you know...?"

All three women let out deep sighs at the same time in response to Ban's nonsense logic.

"Alright, briefing over! Let's move out, you rotten members!"