Chapter 58: Elementary School Loser!
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 58: Elementary School Loser!
[★Congrats★ Jeong Yong-hwan Elected Class President] — Marika Olgaevabich
When I arrived at school in the morning, there was a celebratory wreath standing in front of the classroom.
[★Congrats★ Jeong Yong-hwan Elected Class President] — Hindel Dun Vurdia
There were more wreaths next to it.
[★Congrats★ Jeong Yong-hwan Elected Class President] — Alicia de la Vega
[★Congrats★ Jeong Yong-hwan Elected Class President] — Cassia Cortin
[★Congrats★ Jeong Yong-hwan Elected Class President] — Camel Sirian
[★Congrats★ Jeong Yong-hwan Elected Class President] — Tiria Le Piats
[★Congrats★ Jeong Yong-hwan Elected Class President] — Yuseoha
[★Congrats★ Jeong Yong-hwan Elected Class President] — Aoi Takahara
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.
.
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There were wreaths everywhere.
I called my mom.
– Son, is something wrong?!
"Mom, I want to drop out."
***
Unfortunately, my attempt to drop out was a failure. The other kids reacted with innocent wonder, thinking it was "cool" and "amazing."
"...I'd appreciate it if you could tell them to show some restraint."
"I'm sorry."
The middle-aged female teacher, who had been so against putting me in the class president seat, clicked her tongue as she looked at the wreaths that had been moved to the faculty office with a bewildered expression.
"Oh, these are all real flowers. They must have cost a fortune."
"...Is it that kid? Alicia de la Vega? Is this... the movie star?"
The teachers were whispering among themselves as they checked the names. Fortunately, they didn't seem to realize that these people were a mafia boss, the CEO of a massive entertainment agency, the head of a 'security company' that was actually a mercenary group, or the chairwoman of a scholarship foundation—basically, a bunch of terrifying individuals.
"I'll make sure to... complain to the people who sent them. I'm so sorry."
My mom, who had been summoned to the school again today, apologized.
The Police Sisters had a hard time carrying the wreaths out one by one. If I had the money, I would have given them a bonus for their trouble, but unfortunately, all I had to offer was my body.
In other words, I wouldn't have minded if they touched my butt a little, but they all just sweated profusely as they moved the wreaths out of the office.
Since classes hadn't started yet, there was plenty of time.
"Oh, do your friends like hamburgers or pizza more?"
On a civil servant's salary, she was daring to try and treat the whole class to food. My mom was being truly outrageous.
"Don't do that! If you do, I'll be too embarrassed to show my face. I'll really drop out!"
"Okay..."
Mom's shoulders slumped.
After sending Mom away, I was excitedly talking with the other kids about the Green Brachiosaurus Beta's struggle and the Alpha Tyranno's finishing move from the day before, when that homeroom teacher called me again.
"Yong-hwan."
"Yes, Teacher."
Unlike the people who were always calling me "pretty" and "cute," this middle-aged woman didn't seem to get along with me very well.
I was always ready to be loved by older sisters and adults as a kind, cute, and adorable boy, but there were bound to be people I just didn't click with biologically.
"...Do you know someone named Morian Siador?"
It sounded like something had happened.
"Did another wreath arrive late?"
The homeroom teacher shook her head.
"...I'm told pizza sets are being delivered for the entire student body. One whole pizza per person."
"Is that even possible?"
"I just heard it from the principal. They're coming."
I was starting to seriously crave dropping out. The teacher looked like she was dying to know what kind of brat I actually was. Seeing as I was also wondering what kind of crazy bitch Morian was, it seemed that while we didn't get along, we did have some sort of connection.
We had a pizza party that day. I heard there were so many left over that even after the staff took two boxes each, they had to call teachers from neighboring schools to come and have a feast.
I called Morian and shouted, "I'm too embarrassed to go to school! Don't contact me, Morian! I'm blocking you for a month!" and I actually blocked her.
The distance between me and the homeroom teacher seemed to grow a bit further.
The next day, I was called to the faculty office again.
"Do you know a Yuseoha?"
"...She's a friend of my mom's. She's like an older sister to me. Did something happen again?"
"I'm told taco sets are coming."
I couldn't help but wonder what kind of lunatic the principal was to allow the kids to gorge on fast food instead of school lunches.
The kids ate the taco sets that day and were happy. It felt like the homeroom teacher gained another wrinkle.
I went to Yuseoha and got angry, saying, "No wonder you don't have any friends since you're always playing that Mega Ukulele! That's why you're a loner!"
The distance between me and the homeroom teacher seemed to grow even further.
The next day, I was called to the faculty office again.
"Is Hindel Dun Vurdia perhaps a friend of your mother's?"
"...She's a friend of my mom's. She's like an older sister to me. What is it this time?"
"Fortunately, it's hamburger sets today."
I wanted to ask if this was a restaurant or a school.
The kids ate the hamburger sets that day and were happy. It felt like the homeroom teacher gained yet another wrinkle.
I went to Hindel and pulled the "Bad dragon! Useless dragon! Embarrassing dragon! You're not my daughter anymore!" card.
I couldn't take it anymore, so I went to my mom, burst into tears, and told her I wanted to drop out because of all this nonsense.
The distance between me and the homeroom teacher seemed to grow even further.
The next day, I was called to the faculty office again.
"Is Alicia de la Vega... really a movie star?"
Now, it really felt like it was time to drop out.
"Yes. Did she send something else? I'll go right now and give that crazy vampire a piece of my—"
"No, no. I just remembered seeing the name on the wreath. Do you think you could get me an autograph?"
I had no choice but to nod at the teacher's request. Her face looked ten years older than it had a week ago.
The distance between the homeroom teacher and me, which had grown vast, returned to a normal level after Alicia personally came by and took a photo with her.
Personally, I was so grateful to Alicia that I thought it might be okay to give her some 'sympathy.'
That was the gist of everything that happened in the first two weeks of school. The fact that I didn't drop out was proof that I was a truly kind, cute, adorable, upright, polite, and wonderful person.
In a class of about forty girls, I was the only boy. About half the classes didn't have any boys at all. Im Su-yeon's class was a prime example.
You might think a class full of girls would smell like flowers and be filled with soft giggles, but since it was a heaven for brats, it was just a normal school where crazy high-pitched screams—as if they were possessed by pterodactyls—echoed everywhere during recess.
Still, school life was quite enjoyable.
In particular, PE, which we had four times a week, was my favorite.
"Ah! Ah! Ah! Yong-hwan caught the ball! Run!"
"Aaaaahhh!!!"
Dodgeball.
"Waaaaah!!! Yong-hwan tackled me!"
"Don't cry just because you're a girl! It was a back tackle, but you're not hurt!"
Soccer with a rubber ball.
"Ah, ah, ah, don't push! Don't push!"
"Sorry, I'm about to fall. You fall instead!"
Group jump rope.
"You slugs! You can't even keep up with this!?"
"You're... too fast..."
"Go... go slower~!"
Running.
"Haha, take my smash! You scrub! Los~er~!"
"Waaaaahhhh!!!"
Badminton.
"Hahaha! Hahahahaha! Hahaha!"
Elementary school was the best.
To think I could be this happy just because Im Su-yeon wasn't here. Compared to that monster who was practically the child of a goddess, everyone else was weak.
"...The cleaning roster for this week is out. Check the back of the room~!"
Thanks to the emotional distance between me and the homeroom teacher closing, I was adjusting to school life better than expected.
"Why isn't Yong-hwan's name on there?"
One of the sharp-eyed brats raised her hand and pointed out the unfairness.
"Yong-hwan is a boy, isn't he? Boys shouldn't have to do such rough work."
"Boo...!"
The brat, who knew nothing of 'gentlemen first' (or the reversed version of it), showered us with boos. Before the teacher could say anything, I raised my hand.
"I'm a member of this class too, so I think I should do it! I'll clean the faculty office!"
"Oh...!"
The homeroom teacher looked impressed.
In other classes, boys usually just watched from the corner during cleaning time, so I could have kept my mouth shut and used the teacher as a shield. But considering how I'd been harassed by my mom's perverted, nympho friends who were after my 'seed,' I felt I should at least fulfill my duty as a human being.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"Yes! I'm the class president, after all!"
Besides, though the kids didn't know it, cleaning the faculty office was a total breeze. The teachers didn't care if it was a little dirty, so you only had to clean the visible spots.
Plus, if you asked, "Should I clean under here too~?" most teachers would just say it was fine and let it go.
"But the faculty office is cleaned by the older girls, so you'll have to do somewhere else."
I should have checked the cleaning zones first.
"Then! Emptying the trash cans!"
Emptying trash cans wasn't that hard either. Since no one brought food into the school, it was mostly just dust anyway!
I remembered that if I saw anyone throwing away something weird, I just had to catch them and rough them up a bit.
"That's a bit much to ask of a boy..."
The homeroom teacher was practicing gender discrimination in the strangest ways.
"Then where should I...?"
"I have a cleaning zone perfectly suited for a meticulous, kind, and wonderful class president!"
"Oh...!"
The homeroom teacher had a good eye.
"Where is it!?"
"It's none other than...!"
"Cough! Hack! Cough...! Why do they still use chalk here...!?"
I was assigned to chalkboard duty.