Chapter 263: Length Measurement
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 263: Length Measurement
If I stayed like this, I felt like I’d end up brainwashed by Grandma and turned into a communal toy for my sisters and their leather dildos. To maintain my sanity and the upper hand, I had to avoid this topic for the sake of my fragile spirit and timid heart—the same heart that had barely survived by dragging every woman down to the level of a mere female.
I knew that bringing up swordsmanship wouldn't even qualify as small talk with her, so I had no choice but to pivot to the one subject Grandma would be most interested in.
"Grandma, Mom has been acting really strange lately."
"Hmm? You mean Ame?"
She reacted instantly. Slandering Mom was a repertoire I often used when poking into other females' holes; since she was a sow under my ownership, I could just make her clean up the mess later. I didn't need to worry about the consequences.
Of course, I couldn't exactly tell her that Mom was being raised as a sow who got hypnotized by her young son’s dick and took irresponsible creampies!
"Yeah, she’s been... weirder than usual."
"...In what way?"
I had to choose my words carefully. I couldn't describe the current state of her breaking—how she’d leak pussy juice the moment I called her a sow and slapped her ass, waiting for me to ram my dick inside.
So, instead:
"Lately, she keeps pestering me to bathe with her, and even when I say no, she follows me in."
"....Hmm."
Seeing the elf sister’s face cloud with bewilderment started to make me feel giddy.
"Even when I'm sleeping, she keeps trying to lie down next to me. She keeps touching my sides and legs even though it tickles."
"Uh..."
Rune Cal Degrain seemed to sense that things were heading in a decidedly wrong direction.
"Is... is that all?"
"Oh, and she keeps trying to smell me and touches my butt. I tell her I don't like it because it tickles, but she tells me not to tell anyone..."
In this world, mating between a mother and son wasn't illegal, but almost no one actually did it.
It wasn't forbidden by law, but in this modern, sensible era approaching the 500th anniversary of the Demon Realm's annexation, it was one of those things where people thought, 'Common sense-wise, do we even need a law to ban that?' It was a situation that didn't fit the 'general circumstances' the law was designed for.
It was the kind of thing that happened very, very rarely—the sort of situation where if someone said, 'It’s not legally a problem, and didn't people do it in the past?' you’d be left speechless.
Even for an elf hag who had lived over 500 years, Rune Cal Degrain was a former war hero who kept up with modern trends. Her expression said, 'Maybe in the old days, but these days...?'
"Does your mother... by any chance, touch you there?"
"Where's there?"
Grandma gave a small, fake cough. It was hilarious that a hag who had lived through the era of public orgies in front of the World Tree was too embarrassed to say words like 'Lord Dick,' 'the male's grand member,' or 'female corruption rod.'
"...Your male organ. Your wiener."
However, being a monster who had tasted all the sweets, bitters, and salts of life, she quickly brushed off her embarrassment and got straight to the point.
I was quite offended that she devalued my member by calling it a 'wiener,' but I had to be understanding. It wasn't the fault of an uncivilized war criminal that she was ignorant of the reality she hadn't yet witnessed.
"Yeah, she touches it sometimes when I'm sleeping! And she keeps pestering me to show it to her. Isn't that weird?"
Rune Cal Degrain kept her mouth shut, unable to say a word. She seemed utterly flustered that her only daughter was thinking of mating with her grandson to give her a great-granddaughter.
Still, like the 500-year-old hag she was, she didn't look at me like I was a crazy person the way Mom's friends did. She seemed to view it as being within some margin of tolerance.
I didn't think I’d gain much more by continuing this specific line of conversation. I had control of the atmosphere; now it was time to shift her interest from 'education' to 'me.'
"Mom says she's worried because my wiener is too big. Do you think so too, Grandma?"
"I haven't seen it, so I wouldn't know... but if Ame says so, I suppose there might be an issue."
In my past life, I had suffered the humiliation of grandmothers and grandfathers sexually harassing me by saying, 'Let's see how much our grandson's cute little wiener has grown~' so this reaction was a bit refreshing.
Back then, they really felt like 'elders.'
But the milk-scented, cowardly elf sister with the trash personality standing before me looked like nothing more than a very, very attractive female—especially to someone like me who had already bedded her daughter. I decided it was time to play a little trick.
"Grandma, could you check it for me? Mom says she only keeps looking at it because she's worried it's too big..."
"If... if it's really that... large... I suppose I could take a look."
She looked a bit bashful, but she probably figured that since her daughter was a novice who had never even dated a man, she was just getting excited over a child's toy. In front of that Rune Cal Degrain, I boldly dropped my pants and underwear.
"....?"
Her green eyes blinked blankly. My penis, which had already been fully erect since her massive breasts started blocking the sunlight, stood stiff, lightly defying gravity. Rune Cal Degrain stood there with her mouth hanging open.
"Is it really that big?"
I gripped my penis in one hand and gave it a light shake up and down. Grandma couldn't say a word; not just her eyes, but her entire head followed the tip of my penis up and down.
A MILF elf sister with a hint of thickness. I didn't care if she was a grandmother or whatever; her voluptuous body looked like her eggs were making one final, desperate stand.
That bastard Hindel was three times older than my grandmother, and didn't I make Mom go on dates with her and act all lovey-dovey just to use her as a base for the dragon mass-production plan?
Gulp.
Seeing her swallow hard, I gave my penis a slight waggle from side to side. Watching Grandma's head move left and right to follow it, I realized that the sow Mom definitely took after her mother.
"Grandma?"
"Huh? Oh... that... it's, it's... q-quite... b-b-big.... Very."
Seeing the MILF elf sister stuttering in her confusion, I felt like I could sell Mom out as an even more vulgar, trashy bitch.
I wanted to nourish her with her grandson's dick right then and there, but knowing she was the type to give me nothing if I moved too aggressively, I decided to provide just enough service for her to use as masturbation material tonight.
"Mom touches this sometimes. Do you want to touch it too, Grandma?"
"W-What?!"
"If you do, it gets even bigger than it is now! It tickles, but... it's really fun!"
The MILF elf looked at me as if she couldn't believe her ears. Since I wasn't at my absolute maximum yet, I thought it would be best to show her the full, monstrous form of my penis.
I grabbed the MILF elf sister's hand and pulled it toward my penis.
"Woah... wow..."
Hearing her make such cute sounds, I knew she would be well worth devouring.
"Mom says it gets a little bigger every month, so she keeps measuring the length. What should I do if it gets even bigger?"
"R-Really? I... I see..."
The MILF elf sister, staring intently at my penis, didn't even seem to be listening to what I was saying.
"Rune Noona~ what if it gets bigger than this~?"
"This... if this... gets even b-bigger in the future..."
Seeing Rune gripping my penis with trembling hands, I placed my hand over hers and gently shook it.
"This... this is Extreme Yang... likely the energy of a Ten-Thousand-Year Fire Carp.... And this Extreme Yin energy... is it an Ice Essence?"
"Yeah! Mom's friends gave them to me as gifts so I'd grow up to be a good man! Do you think I can be a good man~?"
It was best not to let her get suspicious of the bumpy ridges and the lizard-like scales that looked like scraping husks. Seeing her immediately realize these were traits formed from elixirs without me explaining, she was definitely a master.
"If this... grows... any more.... My god..."
Rune's trembling eyes were adorable. For a war criminal, she was being awfully stingy about begging for the dick she clearly wanted.
"Mom measures it all the time. Do you want to measure it too, Grandma?"
"Measure...? I... I don't have a... t-tool..."
Seeing as she didn't refuse, this elf lady seemed to be very interested.
"Then I'll show you how Mom measures it. Come here~!"
I grabbed Rune's hand and pulled hard. She was pulled toward me without resistance, likely because she was exhausted from fighting off the dick-hypnosis.
I brought my penis right up to Rune Cal Degrain's face as she slumped down on her knees.
"Mom measures it like this~!"
"It's... it's l-longer than your face..."
Contrary to her frightened expression, her mouth hung open vulgarly. It was hilarious.
"Yeah! and there's another way to measure it too!"
I lightly slapped Rune's face with my penis.
"Ugh... what are you..."
"Lie down, Rune Noona. I'll let you measure the dick~!"
She looked like she was about to get angry, but at the mention of 'measuring,' she obediently lay down in a half-awkward position. I spread her legs and pressed my crotch right up against hers.
"Ngh...!"
She wasn't resisting; she just had her eyes squeezed shut and was twitching. She seemed to be gravely misunderstanding the situation. It was cute how she curled up and closed her eyes as if we were about to have sex, and I briefly thought about just ravaging her right there, but sticking it into just any hole could lead to trouble.
Of course, I planned to completely wreck her with my sperm when the chance came, but at least for now, it wasn't the time.
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
I lightly drummed my penis against Rune Cal Degrain's abdomen.
"Look, it reaches all the way here~"
I rested my penis right on Rune's lower abdomen, which was covered in scraps of fabric that wouldn't lose to the Whore Captain Garnet de La Croix.
"H-Haa... this is impossible... how could... something like this... f-fit..."
My grandmother's foolish muttering was quite adorable.