Chapter 25: Mom Seems to Hate the Entertainment Industry!
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 25: Mom Seems to Hate the Entertainment Industry!
“No, think about it. This is a way to let not just the United Kingdom, but the Empire and everywhere else know how cute Yong-hwan is!”
Morian was spouting the kind of nonsense that made me want to slap her across the face with my sausage.
“Hmm…”
The crazy commie lizard seemed intrigued, as she came to a halt.
“Wouldn’t it be a sin against the world if we were the only ones who knew our cutie’s charms? Aren’t you ashamed as a mother!?”
The purple-headed bitch started spewing bullshit that matched her hair color. My Red Dragon couldn't afford to lose to such ridiculous nonsense.
I had no choice but to provide some cover fire.
“I’m happy with just Mama, though~?”
“Fine. Regarding the movie, it doesn’t sound bad.”
I provided cover fire, but apparently, I hadn't checked my coordinates properly because I ended up landing a direct hit on our reptile sister’s head.
“And let’s put him in tons of commercials. We’ll use him as the main model for our company.”
“In the companies I own as well…”
“No, you… honestly, the companies your people run don’t exactly have a good image, do they? Do you really want to smear that image onto Yong-hwan?”
I didn’t know what kind of image the Mafia Dragon wanted to give me, but I felt like if I hung out with that crowd, I’d end up with full-body irezumi tattoos.
“Hmm, I suppose I’ll have to start a new company.”
“Oh, I heard Camel is setting up a private school foundation for money laundering. Want to do a joint venture? It seems she’s trying to raise some cash by building some kind of academy, so it wouldn't be a bad investment. Besides, we won't get caught for anything education-related. If a problem arises, you and I can just bury it.”
“...Morian, I think you’d make a good daughter-in-law.”
I wanted to go home. I was terrified, wondering what Mom was thinking when she entrusted me to these lunatics. For now, I needed to escape this situation.
“Alicia Noona~!”
I called out for a helper at the top of my lungs. The dragon and the snow woman, who were busy plotting their absurd, trashy plan, shut their mouths.
“Alicia noonaaa~!”
I called Alicia even louder. Then, Alicia suddenly popped out from the shadows.
“W-What’s wrong? Yong-hwan?!”
“Ah, shit…! Don’t jump out of my shadow!”
Morian snapped at Alicia for emerging from her shadow.
“Hehe, I called you because I wanted to see you, Alicia Noona~! Alicia Noona~!”
“Pfft… Ah, I-I see… There, there. Do you like your noona that much? Hmm?”
I pried myself from Hindel’s grip and immediately clung to my new relief pitcher.
“Ah, good timing, Alicia. We needed a bitch with a lot of cash anyway.”
“I don’t really want to get involved in whatever you two are doing… It’s probably something dirty again.”
Alicia grimaced as if she were disgusted.
“It’s different this time.”
“Last time you said it wasn't dirty and asked me to be the financial backer, then you used that money to manipulate Imperial currency! Do you have any idea how much trouble I went through?! Those Imperial bastards launched a tax audit…!”
The vampire sister raised her voice, sounding horrified.
“We settled that by sending our legal support team. Hindel sent all her lawyers, too.”
“None of that would have happened if you hadn't pulled that shit in the first place!”
“Calm down, Alicia. In the end, you were cleared of all charges and gained quite a lot from the Empire, didn't you?”
Alicia took a deep breath but didn't let it out. She seemed so dumbfounded by the nonsense coming from this crazy duo’s disaster party that she couldn't even breathe.
“If I weren't holding Yong-hwan right now, I would have split both your animal skulls open with my halberd.”
“Yeah, yeah, we get it. Just listen, because this time is different.”
“...If it’s something weird again, I’m going to rat out Hindel’s loan shark company in the Empire and the public opinion manipulation unit you snuck in. You still want to talk?”
The snow woman and the Dragon Lord nodded. Alicia let out a long sigh.
“Fine. So, what is it?”
“We’re thinking of casting Yong-hwan in the movie we’re making!”
Morian began to explain her plan with a sweet smile. It was all nonsense about putting me in movies and commercials, and using me as the face of a joint-venture company with a great image.
“Hmm… that’s not bad. Did Camel agree?”
“You know that girl will agree to anything as long as the money is right. It seems the fundraising for that International Academy she’s building isn't going well. If we drop a decent donation, it’s a free pass.”
“Sigh… what am I going to do with these crazy bitches.”
Alicia patted my back, trying to soothe her own troubled mind.
“So, are you in or not? Well, Hindel and I are enough on our own, but still.”
“Let’s do it right now.”
The vampire sister I called as a relief pitcher reached the conclusion that she hadn't been hit enough. Honestly, at this point, I seriously had to wonder if it wasn't the men who needed to be beaten once every three days, but these sisters who were swooning just because a brat shook his wiener and touched their chests.
“And we’ll leave the commercial music to Seoha.”
“Will Seoha do it? That girl only sings what she feels like.”
“She seems to like our Yong-hwan. Seeing how she talked about having a fun time running and playing yesterday, I think she’ll do it if we ask.”
I didn't remember any sister playing and running with me yesterday; I only remembered a pink-headed siren sister who teased me while she ran.
“Mmm… but there’s one catch. I don't think Amé will give her permission.”
Everyone was finally waking up to reality. To the fact that getting permission from a self-proclaimed 'Mama' was utterly useless!
“If our son wants to do it, Amé will allow it.”
The reptile sister brought up a solution as if to prove she wasn't a dragon for nothing. The gazes of the three—no, the three beasts—converged on me.
“No, I won't. I’m going to play with Mom.”
At my cold response, the three of them started shifting their eyes around.
“Yong-hwan, it’ll be re~ally fun! Hmm? Hmm? You can be just like the noonas and hyungs on TV~!”
Morian started her tricks.
“I don’t want to be!”
It seemed the snow woman sister didn't know how to handle a brat since she only dealt with adults.
“Ahem, is there anything our Yong-hwan wants~? Noona will buy it for you~? Hmm~? Hmm~?”
The vampire sister clearly didn't know how to handle a kid who was growing up wealthy in his second life.
“No!”
When I refused firmly, Alicia started nudging Hindel with her elbow. No matter how hard you try, do you think I’d stand in front of a TV shaking my wiener?
“The only thing a kid like him would like is that limited edition transforming robot set where a dinosaur rides a dinosaur. I bought it for Iris last time, but she said she didn't like it… I guess those things are only for girls. For a boy…”
I grabbed Hindel.
“I’ll do it.”
I couldn't resist the dinosaur robot transforming set. I couldn't pass up an ultra-rare robot set that could beat that brat Im Su-yeon, who bragged about her dinosaur transforming robot in front of me at the academy every single time.
“Will this do?”
“Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me!”
For half a year, I had begged Mom to buy it, but she refused, saying boys shouldn't play with things like that. How could I pass up a transforming robot that was five times more expensive and high-quality than the one I’d asked for, one that transformed automatically at the push of a button and even had recorded voice lines?
“...It seems the matter is settled.”
Our Dragon Lord nodded toward her companions. Thus, the four of them became of one mind.
I guess I’d have to go in front of the camera, shake my butt a little, and do a few windmills with my junk. It wasn't a drama, and child actors aren't usually remembered by the public anyway, so doing it once should be fine.
And so, our plan caught a favorable wind…
“No.”
It almost caught a favorable wind, but Mom opposed it. Everyone looked at my mom with shocked faces.
“I mean, what kind of reaction did you expect when you suddenly asked for permission to use my kid as a child model?”
Yonggary raised her hand.
“I thought you’d be happy to show off your cute son.”
“...Hindel, I’d appreciate it if you’d be more careful with your words. We’re polite to each other when we meet in the field, aren't we? I think we need that kind of distance.”
“That’s harsh.”
The dragon was repelled. Beside her, Morian raised her hand, sensing the mood.
“...Speak.”
“Our son is the best.”
“No, Yong-hwan is my son… wait, you thought that would be my reaction?”
Ha. Mother let out a laugh of disbelief.
“Honestly, I don't think it’s a bad experience. I think it’s good to try various things, don't you?”
“Yong-hwan, cover your ears.”
I covered my ears. Well, I pretended to.
“Even so, that doesn't mean I’m going to allow him to become some low-life entertainer. Hindel, don't your male actors go around selling their bodies?”
“They do what’s necessary for a role…”
“And you’re trying to send my kid to a place like that?”
Mother raised her voice.
“It’s much better than it used to be. And they’re the ones asking for the arrangements; my company doesn't force the kids. they do it because they want to.”
“Exactly. You’re saying the water is filthy. Why on earth would I throw my kid into that mud pit?”
Mother was showing an immense hatred for the entertainment industry. Male discrimination was cute in comparison.
“No, I’ll be with Yong-hwan and take care of him the whole time… I won't even let him talk to the actors. Especially the male actors—I won't let them get anywhere near him.”
Morian offered a compromise.
“Bullshit.”
It was no use against Mother.