Chapter 200: A Hopeless Piece of Trash
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 200: A Hopeless Piece of Trash
By the time my white-tinted vision returned to normal, swords were already clashing.
"The Blood Hand Demon King, Jin Ryu-hwa?"
"...The Sword Saint."
Unlike Marika’s childish nickname, the title of the woman who had tried to kidnap me was surprisingly normal. It caught me off guard.
"What do you think you're doing to my husband...!"
"Husband? Hey, brat, are you married?"
I shook my head for now. While I did engage in the occasional 'irresponsible seeding mating press,' I was still technically single. I had to leave some room if I wanted to hit on this woman or that woman under that pretext!
"I've already claimed this boy."
"...You crazy bitch."
They seemed to know each other well. It wasn't enough that they formed cancerous cartels based on regional, blood, and school ties back in the home country; it seemed they’d built something similar in this neighborhood too.
"If you let him go now, I'll let you off with losing just one eye."
"Haha! You? To me?"
"If you're dead drunk, I might have a chance. You say you burned off the alcohol with your internal energy, but I can see your sword trembling."
I couldn't help but be surprised by the Sword Saint, who looked perfectly normal despite being 'dead drunk.' More than that, I knew Marika was no slouch when it came to strength.
"Even so, I can still handle the likes of you."
Clang! The heavy sound of metal colliding rang out. Exchanges of blows occurred in moments I couldn't even perceive.
Marika, who had suddenly gained some distance, was raising her fists. It seemed the 'rejuvenated old hag' known as the Sword Saint was a formidable master.
"Do you think you'll be safe after laying a hand on the Master's son?"
"Son? The Flood Dragon's son? Yong-hwan is?"
Even while clashing swords, she seemed to have room to breathe. I saw Jin Ryu-hwa’s eyes widen as she shifted her gaze toward me.
"If he's the Flood Dragon's son, why is he your husband? How did you seduce him? Hey, brat! You told me you didn't have a fiancée!"
The old hag Sword Saint was fuming at me. A faint scent of alcohol wafted from her. There had been no sign of it just a moment ago, but the sudden stench made me grimace.
"I decided to accept Marika because she said she'd come in as a concubine. Also, could you let me go now? I can handle an old maid, but a rejuvenated grandma is a bit much for me."
"Hey! I'm still firm and tight! I can still pop out kids!"
Seeing the Sword Saint blow a fuse the moment her age was mentioned made me want to tell her my mom's age. I called her 'grandma' just for the fun of teasing her, but even with her rejuvenation, she was almost certainly younger than my mother.
"Marika! At this rate, I'm going to get kidnapped and forced to give this Sword Saint grandma a child!"
"Urgh...! Wait! I'll save you!"
Marika’s hair began to flutter wildly, and a massive flow of magic power—far beyond anything I could fathom—began to swirl around the area.
However, the space around the Sword Saint, who was holding me, remained as still as a calm lake.
"Well, personally, I quite like you. Can't we just agree to let me be our cute husband's concubine?"
"Shut up! I'm sure the Mount Hua Sect would love to hear that you kidnapped a child."
"It's not kidnapping, it's catching a husband!"
The Sword Saint spewed some absolute bullshit, her conscience clearly non-existent. Perhaps realizing the atmosphere was turning strange, she tried to persuade us with 'logic and reason.'
"I mean, look, I'm on good terms with the Flood Dragon, right? Huh? We'd be in-laws!"
"He is also the Master's husband. Stop talking nonsense, Jin Ryu-hwa."
"What does that even mean?"
The Sword Saint’s sword play faltered at Marika’s shocking confession. Taking advantage of the opening like a coward throwing sand in someone's eyes, Marika lunged forward without a shred of guilt and threw a punch at the Sword Saint.
There was a clear difference in their levels. However, since the Sword Saint was holding me with one arm and trying to handle Marika with a sword in the other, she was forced to retreat step by step.
"What do you mean by that?"
"The person Hindel likes is my mom! And she says she likes me too!"
"...?"
The Sword Saint blinked at me as if she couldn't process the information. In that moment, Marika’s fist shattered Jin Ryu-hwa’s sword.
Looking at the broken blade, the Sword Saint let out a short sigh and tossed the hilt onto the ground.
"Ah, I'm going to get scolded for breaking even a mass-produced iron sword while drinking.... So, what exactly is going on here? You're saying this boy is the Flood Dragon's son and her husband? What kind of dogshit logic is that?"
"I'll explain if you let go of my husband first. I'll even give you a chance to talk to him."
The Sword Saint looked back and forth between Marika and me, then swept back her bangs.
"Since he's the Flood Dragon's representative, I can't exactly kill him... This is a real headache."
"If you cooperate and talk, I'll let even a rejuvenated old hag like you have a... no, a 'wife interview'!"
I chimed in to back up Marika’s 'persuasion,' offering her a spot in the loser's bracket.
"Ugh... Brat, you're not going to run away, right?"
"I swear on my mother's name!"
It was a bit of a shame I couldn't use the 'son of a whore' oath since my mom was a sow and not a whore, but for now, I had to calm the Sword Saint down before Marika got hurt.
"Fine. Since you promised, we're going to sit down and talk, okay?"
I squirmed out of the Sword Saint’s embrace and landed on the ground. I immediately hid behind Marika’s muscular thighs.
"Marika, what are the odds?"
"Honestly, less than thirty percent."
She acted so tough, but she was just a loser.
"Who exactly is this Sword Saint?"
"The current Murim Alliance Leader. Title: Sword Saint. In this world, she's on par with the Chairwoman."
That Commie Dragon also went around spewing bullshit about being the strongest in the world, yet she gets beaten up by the Empress and my maternal grandmother. And here we had this crazy, rejuvenated old hag Sword Saint who was supposedly her equal.
As expected of thugs, lies flowed out of their mouths the moment they opened them.
"So how did you get caught by a lunatic like that?"
" I was just looking at the lake when she suddenly talked to me and tried to kidnap me!"
"Were you by any chance not wearing your veil?"
I averted my eyes at Marika’s sharp question. Even if I made the excuse that no one was around, she’d still be mad.
"...Didn't I tell you to only take it off when it's just us?"
"No, really, there was no one around. She just suddenly started talking to me from right next to me."
Marika looked at the Sword Saint.
"I was just crossing the lake and saw a really cute kid, so I struck up a conversation."
"So it was my husband's fault."
I wasn't some female with a lewd body that caused erections just by existing, yet it was my fault for attracting people with just my face? Both the Murim and the home country were absolute messes.
"I thought he was a girl and wanted to be friends, but then he turned out to be a boy! And when I asked if he had a fiancée, he said no! That's why I approached him further!"
"...It really is my husband's fault."
I, the victim, was slowly being turned into the perpetrator. These crazy sword-swingers were gaslighting me.
"You mentioned a concubine, right, Jin Ryu-hwa? I don't mind if my husband cheats. I'll accept you as a primary wife. How about it? You know I have a thing for beauties."
"Hmm..."
Proving she didn't become the Murim Alliance Leader just through games and swordplay, Jin Ryu-hwa displayed political maneuvering that lacked even a hint of righteousness or chivalry. Marika glanced at me, actually considering the offer.
"Marika! We had something good going! Can you handle Hindel? Can you handle my maternal grandmother!?"
"I guess I can't. It's a tempting offer, but I don't have the authority to decide that."
It seemed my grandmother was scary enough to prevent an alliance between the Blood Hand Demon King and the Sword Saint.
"Yong-hwan, this big sister has a lot of money. And I barely drink, and I'm confident I'll be devoted to the family, you know?"
Thinking about it, if she was younger than my mom, it might be possible. Seeing how she spoke casually with Marika, they were probably around the same age. I was starting to scare myself with how I was becoming a 'possibility-chaser.'
"For starters, I'm going to cheat as naturally as I breathe. Are you okay with that?"
"I have lots of money and power. You can have as many wives and concubines as you want! Just give me ten healthy children!"
Now the conversation was starting to shift. I looked at Marika. She looked worried that I might switch sides.
"I hate raising kids, and I won't eat if there's no meat on the table."
"We can just hire servants! Don't worry about the meat. I'll make sure you have whatever meat you want for all three meals!"
"Husband, don't be fooled. That woman goes around saying men need to be beaten... I mean, 'educated' once a week."
It seemed misandry was quite prevalent in this neighborhood too.
"But back in the home country, they say you have to educate them every three days."
Marika looked away.
"Why would I ever hit someone like our Yong-hwan! I'd serve him hand and foot! I'll feed him nothing but the best for his health! Oh, I even have a Ten-Thousand-Year Fire Carp Inner Core! If you eat this, you'll be so strong at night that handling three wives and four concubines will be a breeze!"
The Murim Alliance Leader was actively seducing me.
"Sword Saint, do you have a Ten-Thousand-Year Fire Spirit Herb?"
"How would I get something like that?"
Hindel had managed to get one somehow, so she seemed surprisingly incompetent. Under what used to be a pavilion with a view of the sky, the Sword Saint grabbed a bottle of liquor from the table and began to chug it.
"Um, Miss Sword Saint. Didn't you say you don't drink?"
"Ah, today is a good day! I can drink more~! I can drink more~!"
"For the record, she's a famous drunkard," Marika added.
She had just said she didn't drink during her self-promotion. It was clear she was an unreliable person whose lies were grander than a fictional resume.
"How can a top-tier master who can handle Marika while drunk be so pathetic?"
"She's famous for turning into a dog when she drinks. She's a whale who drinks by the jar. She doesn't drink often, but once she loses her reins, she becomes a beast."
Alcoholism and domestic violence... this woman was a hopeless piece of trash.
"How did someone like that become the Murim Alliance Leader?"
"She's a respectable person as long as she's sober."
It sounded like alcohol was her ultimate nemesis.
"Let's move to another spot for now. The cost of the damage here... you're paying for it, right?"
"Yup! Yup! Let's go for the 8th round! The 8th round!"
"The 8th round?"
"Yeah, I just finished the 7th!"
Taking advantage of a drunkard was easy, so I could pin all the building repair costs on the Murim Alliance Leader. However, the thought of the next stop being the 8th round of drinking made my head spin.
"Can't we talk after you sober up?"
"No way, no way! If I were sober, I wouldn't be able to kidnap you or woo you. Since I'm this drunk, I feel like I can forgive myself even if I ravish you!"
She really was a crazy bitch.
She was proudly declaring herself a scumbag who used alcohol as an excuse to commit atrocities while maintaining a 'good' image during her sober hours.