Ruby and the Cat

The white-haired old king merely fiddled with his water glass. His eyes were cloudy, and his shoulders slumped as if the weight of years was crushing him.

"Your Majesty, at least try a bite. Doesn't the aroma alone make your mouth water?" The merchant guild master sitting beside him tried to lift the mood, but the king shook his head.

"As you all know... I have almost completely lost my sense of taste. Even the finest delicacies feel like chewing sawdust. There's no joy left in living."

At the king's sigh, Kastab flinched in the kitchen. He carried the trauma of having been executed for failing to satisfy the emperor's palate in his previous life.

"Daon... I really can't do this. My hands are shaking too much to even hold a knife."

Kastab muttered, his face turning deathly pale.

"Chef, get a grip. The person out there isn't the emperor who had you killed—it's a king he's never met before! Besides, this is a golden opportunity."

I grabbed Kastab by the shoulders.

"You need to prove that your cooking wasn't the reason it tasted bad to those high-ranking people last time. And..."

I looked at the prepared ingredients. Today's main ingredient was deep-sea eel. These were specimens I'd caught from the depths of the S-rank dungeon Screaming Shore, the one I'd visited with the Black Flame Dragon last time. They were ten times larger than ordinary eels and infused with magic power, giving their flesh an incredibly firm, springy texture.

"If I add my 'secret technique' to this, even a dead palate will come back to life like a zombie."

I focused my dark magic. Purple mana rose from my fingertips and seeped into the eel marinade sizzling over the charcoal fire.

"Perfect."

Sizzle. The marinated eel cooked to an appetizing golden brown. Even the aroma was on another level—salty yet sweet, with an intense, mysterious kick that stung the nose.

"Order up! Abyss Vitality Eel Rice Bowl!"

I carried the tray with formal grace and approached the king's table. The skeleton maids set out pickled ginger and clear broth as side dishes.

"Your Majesty, thank you for waiting."

When I lifted the lid, a steaming eel rice bowl glistening with sauce appeared in a cloud of white vapor.

"Hmm..."

The king picked up his spoon with little expectation. The old woman with the cane chimed in from the side.

"Hey, just humor me and take one bite. My grandson made it."

"If you put it that way..."

The king scooped up a spoonful of rice and a piece of eel, then slowly brought it to his mouth. Every eye in the room fixed on his lips.

He chewed. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.

"......!"

The king's previously dull eyes suddenly widened. Clatter. The spoon slipped from his hand and fell onto the table.

"Your Majesty?!"

"Your Majesty! Are you alright?!"

The merchant guild master and the Magic Tower lord shot to their feet in alarm, thinking he'd been poisoned.

But the next moment—

Bang!

The king slammed his fist on the table.

"This... this flavor—! Oooooh—!"

His voice boomed like thunder. It was no longer the feeble voice of an old man.

"It's hot! My esophagus feels like it's on fire! My stomach is dancing!"

With trembling hands, the king grabbed the spoon again. The shaking wasn't from age—it was pure excitement. Then he began devouring the food like a storm.

Chomp. Slurp. Munch.

"It's sweet! It's savory! The eel melts in my mouth, yet every single grain of rice is bursting with life! And this sauce... what on earth did you put in it?!"

Color flooded the king's face until it burned bright red. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. His hunched back straightened, and one could almost imagine steam rising from his entire body.

"Kwa ha ha ha ha—! Power is surging through me! I feel the same vigor I had when I was a knight of the empire!"

The king polished off the entire bowl in an instant. Then he leaped from his seat and shouted.

"Bring more! Another bowl! No—bring everything you've got!"

"Y-yes! Right away!"

I urgently signaled the kitchen. Inside, Kastab was crying.

"It worked... His Majesty ate all of my cooking... Hic... sob..."

"No time to cry! Grill more eel!"

Baron yelled as she butchered eels at blinding speed with her giant cleaver.

It wasn't just the king. The entire group of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠elderly VIPs had lost their minds.

"Ooooh! Mana is flowing backward through my circuits! Inspiration is striking!"

The 8th Circle Magic Tower lord suddenly waved his staff mid-bite, scribbling formulas in the air.

"The Archmage's final equation... No, I can solve the paradox of mana dynamics—!"

The merchant guild master was frantically hammering away at his abacus, eyes rolled back.

"This flavor! If I secure an exclusive contract... chain stores across the entire empire... net profit of three thousand percent...!"

And our cane-wielding grandma...

"Hup! Cha-cha-cha—!"

She suddenly ripped off her outer robe and started doing squats while gripping one of the restaurant pillars. Thankfully, she was wearing training clothes underneath.

"I've got energy to spare! ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Hey, incubus! Get over here! Let's have a sparring match with this old lady!"

The incubus eating in the corner let out a terrified shriek and fled.

"Are you crazy?! This old bat is actually trying to kill someone!"

The restaurant had turned into a madhouse in the blink of an eye. The curse effect must have been too powerful. The eel's Berserker's Heart combined with the youthful passion curse from the samgyetang created a perfect, chaotic harmony. And this was only the mild test version. If it had been the full original, they probably would have torn the entire restaurant apart.

I retreated to the corner of the counter. The only calm presence there was the red cat, Lucy.

Lucy licked her front paw and looked on with disdain.

"Lady Lucy, if we're going to clean this mess up, I'll need your help..."

"Probably? He seems pretty satisfied."

An hour later, the frenzy of the meal finally ended. As the curse effects gradually faded, the elders slumped exhausted in their chairs. Yet their faces were filled with unparalleled satisfaction.

"Haa... I've never had a meal like this in my entire life."

Leopold the Third wiped his mouth with a napkin and called me over. His eyes were far clearer and sharper than before.

"What was your name again?"

"It's Daon, Your Majesty."

"Daon, you have returned my lost youth. This wasn't mere cooking—it was magic."

The king pulled something from his robes. It was a small golden badge engraved with the kingdom's royal crest—a roaring lion.

"This is a Royal Authentication Badge. Any establishment that possesses it is exempt from taxes and receives near-extraterritorial protection within the territory. And..."

At the king's gesture, the merchant guild master placed a massive jewel box on the table. When the lid opened, it was packed so full that fist-sized diamonds and rubies seemed ready to spill out.

"This is payment for the meal. If it's not enough, just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠say the word."

"Huk..."

My mouth fell open. It was an amount I wouldn't see in a lifetime of work.

At that moment, a red shadow shot past me with a whoosh.

Lucy in her cat form dove straight into the jewel box. She buried herself in the pile of gems and began purring with pure bliss.

"My, my. The cat has quite the eye ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠for treasure. How adorable."

The king laughed heartily.

"Young man, would you consider becoming the royal chef? I'll pay you whatever salary you desire."

It was a tempting offer. A royal chef—the very symbol of a successful life. But I glanced at Lucy, then thought of the undead staff waiting for me in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I prefer this dungeon."

"Hoho, I thought you'd say that. That 'Cane' girl would never let you go."

The king winked at the old woman with the cane. She grinned back with a toothpick in her mouth.

"Obviously. He's my grandson. Hands off."

The guests began preparing to leave. At the restaurant door, the king spoke to me one last time.

"The imperial festival will be held soon. I'd like you to host a cooking competition then. Consider it an official invitation in my name."

"It would be an honor."

The king and his party climbed into their carriage. As the splendid procession disappeared into the distance, I let out a long sigh.

"It's finally over..."

Today had felt like an entire year. But the rewards were solid. The Royal Authentication Badge and that chest of jewels. This restaurant had just become the safest and wealthiest eatery in the entire empire.

"Daon!"

Lucy transformed into her human form with a ruby clutched in her mouth.

"Look at this! Isn't it so pretty? All of this is ours?"

"Yes, it's all yours, Lady Lucy. You could probably buy ten cake factories with that."

"Kyaa! Daon's the best—!"

Lucy threw her arms around my neck and planted a kiss on my cheek. The sensation was cold yet incredibly soft. My face burned.

"Alright, let's clean up and close for the night."

"Okay! I'll help!"

Lucy must have been in a great mood, because she used her magic to make the brooms dance around and help with cleaning—a task she would never normally do. A happy closing time.

But we had no idea.

Outside the shop, in the shadows, a sinister gaze was watching us.

Deep in the forest across from the dungeon entrance, a figure in a white robe stared at the Demon King's Table signboard. In his hand was a cross-shaped iron club.

"I smell heresy."

He sniffed the air.

"Bewitching a king, commanding corpses with black magic? And even the aura of the Demon King..."

Madness flickered in the eyes beneath the hood. Vargas, an inquisitor of the church's heresy tribunal. She was famous as a hunting dog who never let go once she caught a scent.

"How dare you open a filthy restaurant in the sacred empire? Tomorrow, I will..."

He gripped his cross tighter and muttered.

"Come to purify you. I'll show you a taste of true pain."