Chapter 65
In the girl standing before her, there was not a single trace of Noeul to be found.
The original Noeul could hardly have been called a handsome man—but depending on how you looked at him, he had a face you could generously call good-looking. Sharp features, good skin. To Gabi's eyes, that had been more than enough.
Of course, having grown up together since they were children, she had never felt the kind of flutter you get looking at a celebrity. But whenever she watched friends date someone based on looks alone, only for everything to fall apart because their personalities didn't match—or whenever the news showed families that had dated, married, and then spectacularly collapsed—she had understood that what ultimately mattered was personality and the way two people lived. So she had vaguely thought that if she ever got married, someone like Noeul would be nice.
Gabi herself was a lifelong single who had never dated once. But when countless other people had already gone through all the trial and error for her, was there really any need to go hunting for adventure when a perfectly ordinary path to happiness was sitting right there? Just as there was no need to detonate a nuclear bomb simply to feel its power. Gabi was the kind of person who considered that rational.
That was how logical Gabi's way of thinking had always been. And yet the moment she saw this girl who bore no resemblance whatsoever to that Noeul, Gabi felt a sense of familiarity. She felt that same ease she always felt when she was with him.
There was still no guarantee anywhere that this child was Noeul. From the appearance and the gender right down to the complete inability to meet anyone's eyes—aside from the way she spoke, she did not look like Noeul no matter where you looked. And still Gabi's gut was screaming that this child was Noeul.
People claimed that kind of intuition was a judgment the brain reached by assembling information you yourself had not even consciously registered, long before you could think about it rationally. Gabi had never believed in that. But this time, she decided to trust that thing called intuition.
So she set aside the resident ID card Noeul held out and verified each other's memories instead. She remembered that her father's name was unusual. She breezed through the trap questions with Noeul's characteristic honesty. Embarrassing memories she threw straight back at Gabi as a counterattack. Calling her fat back then and making her feel this way—what a jerk. But thanks to all of it, Gabi's heart gradually softened.
That bickering of theirs brought back the Noeul who had shared the same stretch of time with her. The fool who dug in her heels over the smallest things to protect her pride, then melted at a single serving of tteokbokki. Who would joke about carving fruit with a fork if studying wasn't going well. And who, the moment a conversation turned uncomfortable, would simply look away entirely.
Of course, who wouldn't do that? But to Gabi, who already felt deep in her bones that this kid was Noeul, it made her chest ache. When she brushed aside the fallen hair and looked at the face, all she still saw beyond it was the face of a strange little girl. The child who had grown up showered in love was nowhere to be found—only unfocused eyes rolling this way and that.
How had Noeul ended up becoming a child like this?
"You… are you really Noeul?"
"Yeah. I'm Yoon Noeul."
She asked again, not wanting to believe the reality. But cruelly enough, it was certain that this ruined child was Noeul. Something surged up in her chest, and Gabi threw her arms around her.
"If it was that hard, you should have at least contacted me! Why were you living all alone like this—so bleak and empty!"
One foot gone. One eye somehow unable to hold a focus. And on top of that, a living room so bare it practically radiated cold. How long had she been living like this since becoming a girl? Since the months when contact had been cut off? If she was going to live like this, she could have at least reached out. Gabi would have helped somehow. It stung that she hadn't—but it wasn't hard to understand.
Hadn't she said her father hit her? In Gabi's memories, Noeul's father had been an extremely kind man—kind enough to laugh and take it whenever Noeul occasionally joked with him. She couldn't believe someone like that had hit Noeul. But looking at Noeul trembling faintly in her arms right now, it seemed to be true. Beaten so badly she had become afraid of people themselves.
In the same way, the father Noeul had known had turned on her. If even family could do that, she could never have believed a friend would stay the same. So Gabi quickly let her go.
"It would have been a burden. You must have been busy with assignments and everything…"
Noeul did not say she hadn't been able to trust her. Of course not—even before, Noeul had never been good at saying things people wouldn't want to hear. Maybe because she had grown up loved, she had always been endlessly kind to others. Why did a kid like that have to end up like this?
"Are assignments more important? When your friend is living like this!"
"Like this… that's a bit harsh."
She had clearly felt her trembling when she'd hugged her earlier. And now that Gabi had accepted she was Noeul, the way she was playing it cool made Gabi annoyed all over again. So she swallowed down the pity and the distress and started scolding Noeul the way she always used to. If the mood got too serious, she really might cry.
"I heard from the others your League of Champions rank shot straight up starting a month ago. You've just been eating and gaming, right? Wait—are you even eating properly? I looked in the kitchen and there's dust sitting on the sink! Looking at how skinny you are, it seems like you haven't been eating right since even before that…"
As she scolded, Noeul's pitiful appearance caught her eye and made her even more depressed.
"No, that's… I-I have been eating pretty well lately, though."
Noeul gave an awkward smile. She had been eating well lately. In other words, she hadn't before. Catching that implication, Gabi bit down hard on her lip. But she didn't want to get buried in it and turn their reunion into the worst possible thing—so she tossed out a joke like something a grandmother would say.
"Someone who eats well is this skinny? Can you even walk properly on those legs?"
"Ah. Missing one foot makes that a bit hard."
"…Sorry."
That answer forced her to look at the horrible reality all over again. No—from the start, Noeul had probably taken Gabi's slip of the tongue and turned it into a joke.
"But thanks to the crutches, walking isn't a big problem. And the day after tomorrow I'm going to buy a wheelchair too."
While Gabi stood there devastated, not knowing what to do with herself, Noeul scratched her head as she spoke. She must have been trying to lighten the mood, in her own way. Just like before, she was really generous with other people.
Gabi carefully asked about the thing that had been bothering her this whole time.
"…How did you hurt your foot? It's not like you became a girl and one foot was just missing, right?"
"Ah. I got hit wrong once and it tore open. Because of the bruises on my body I couldn't go to the hospital right away, and I missed the window, so they had to amputate."
"What?"
"If they saw the bruises on my body, Dad would have gotten arrested for domestic violence. So I waited for the bruises to heal, and…"
"…"
Somehow every single thing she brought up felt like stepping on a landmine. Gabi simply shut her mouth. Now even she couldn't properly look at Noeul's face.
With Gabi fallen silent like that, Noeul seemed to have nothing particular to say either. She just stared blankly at the floor, tapping the bed with her foot. Both feet took turns knocking against the mattress—tap, tap. Maybe because they were different lengths, even the rhythm was off. Tap. Taaap. Tap, tap. At the increasingly grating, unbalanced beat, Gabi finally couldn't stand the silence and opened her mouth.
"R-right. Well, at least you're getting a wheelchair now, so that's good. Then are you dressing properly when you go out? Looking at the size, it seems like you're still wearing the same clothes from when you were a guy."
"Uh, well. I don't really have anywhere to go, so…"
"Didn't your mom buy you clothes?"
"After I ended up like this, Dad didn't like me going outside. So I just stayed home, and I didn't really need other clothes. Even now it's not much different."
"…"
Noeul's tragic history, making something surge in her chest every time she heard it. But now Gabi thought she knew what she needed to do. The thing neither her uncle nor her aunt had done for her.
Like it or not, Noeul was a girl now—so she needed to learn how to live as one. First, change the clothes. This dense kid had always just worn whatever her mom bought her. She had never thought about buying clothes herself, so of course she was still like this.
Come to think of it, under the baggy hoodie, bare white legs were exposed all the way up to the thighs. Anyone could see she was a cute little girl. If she had guy underwear on underneath, that would be horrifying. But making her aware of that was important. That way she'd feel like buying new clothes.
Gabi deliberately lifted the hoodie in a playful way. In this world, a guy lifting a girl's skirt was a crime. But a girl looking at a guy's underwear was just a prank. And right now they were the same gender. They had even bathed together as kids. Underwear was nothing.
"You're not wearing the same underwear from when you were a guy under here, right? Ugh—"
"W-what are you doooing!"
But this time, Gabi regretted exploiting the world's perceptions like that. Because under the hoodie, Noeul wasn't wearing anything at all.
Truly, everything she touched felt like landmines exploding left and right. Beside Noeul, who was letting out a shrill scream for the first time, Gabi wished she could turn back time.