My Mind Is a Complete Mess
While playing games, had I ever been this tormented?
Ah, but I had with League of Champions, hadn't I?
Surprisingly, the opposing team had never given me any real stress.
It was almost always my own teammates who put that pressure on me.
When the team turned on each other, and the flame of blame even reached me—the one who had done nothing wrong at all.
No one to support me, forced to swallow those insults all by myself.
Never able to fight back, yet I never even raised my voice or grabbed anyone by the neck.
Well, today's stress wasn't even that bad.
It was just another one of those surprises I hadn't seen coming.
Failing right in front of the finish line felt bitter, but the announcement had said every unique pattern had been identified.
So if I just didn't make another mistake, clearing the game would be simple.
Repeat what I was doing right now, just one more time.
That would be it.
I knew that, but I kept banging my head against the desk… or rather, burying my face in my arms on the table.
Honestly, because the viewers were watching, I was exaggerating the acting on purpose.
If I were alone, I wouldn't have done it this dramatically.
But that exaggeration had actually helped this time.
I hadn't imagined what expression my next-door sister would make.
I had planned exactly what I'd say if we met, but the moment she walked in, my thoughts were completely scrambled.
Come to think of it, I didn't even know her name.
Should I ask her?
Where does Unni live?
She always shows up unannounced, and I get such a shock every time.
Can you at least give me your phone number?
Have you eaten dinner yet?
Shall I make something for you?
…Those ordinary little things.
“Ah, Unni’s here? Must be heading home from work now.”
“Yeah, I came straight from the office to see Noeul. Phew, it really got hot outside these days. Are you not hot, Noeul? Shouldn’t we turn on the AC?”
“Ah… the AC. It’s fine if it’s on, isn’t it?”
It felt like everything I had ever held against her was about to shatter, and we were about to build something brand new.
But that never came out. All I could do was the same old small talk.
Yet the moment I kept acting exactly like before, I realized something.
That I would never damage our relationship by saying those words.
The time we had spent together up until now wasn’t that easily denied.
On the contrary, it was because we had spent so much time together that it felt strange we hadn’t talked about these things before.
Only the timing had been off.
Would she really want me to ask viewers for her name, address, and contact information?
After all, I was going to become a professional gamer soon, so my name and face were already public.
But Unni was just an ordinary person.
Even if it was just her name, she might not want it on the broadcast.
So those questions should wait until we turn the broadcast off.
Or at least mute the mic for a second.
Anyway, I stopped exaggerating my disappointment.
Naturally, the chat window caught my eye.
That was when the realization hit me.
She knew I was streaming, but she didn’t know the camera was on.
She probably thought I was just recording without the camera.
“Ah, Unni. I turned the camera on for the stream. If you sit on the bed, your whole face will show. Even if you sit, you should move to the corner so it doesn’t catch you.”
“Ah, so you’re showing your face to the viewers? Noeul has become a celebrity.”
“N-not really a celebrity…… I just turned the camera on so I’d get used to it before I compete in tournaments. I couldn’t wear a mask because people would hate seeing a pro gamer’s face.”
“What about sunglasses?”
“……Did you see the photo of me wearing sunglasses on the main screen of my fan cafe, Unni? You’re teasing me, right?”
“Hehe, who knows.”
Thinking about it, there was no rule that Unni couldn’t watch my stream.
She always watched me play from behind, so why would she skip it just to be bored?
If she had seen my stream at work during a slow day, she would have known about the fan cafe.
Even out of curiosity, she would have seen me wearing those creepy sunglasses.
It had been fun chatting with viewers, but now that I knew someone I actually knew had seen it, my cheeks were burning.
“Well, if she gave permission, I might as well use it. It sounds like it could be funny. Anyway, everyone. Let’s keep going. This time it looks like we can actually clear it normally. I’ve already identified every unique pattern. As long as I don’t make another mistake, we won’t have to go back to the eighth floor.”
So I turned my body toward the computer again, trying to focus on the stream, but the chat window had suddenly become noisy in an unexpected way.
Apparently the viewers hadn’t seen Unni.
But that was impossible, because she had walked straight past me and into the room.
She entered through the door, walked to the corner of the bed.
Even though Unni was tall, her face probably hadn’t shown up on camera, but from the angle, her chest area should have been visible.
Yet they said they didn’t see her.
Was it because I was the only one on screen, and the chat was just talking?
No, they had clearly seen me walk past her and sit down in the corner.
I tilted my head, wondering if they were all in on some group joke.
And then I realized what my adorable viewers were doing.
They had all conspired together to prank me right now.
They must have planned it while I was talking to Unni and turned my head.
“Hey, everyone. Stop joking. Are you secretly filming me with a hidden camera? The screen clearly shows Unni walking behind me.”
“Hey, even if you say that, when you look at the chat, everything is there.”
“Exactly, fans even created a new site just to tease one streamer. They can at least team up in chat.”
But my viewers kept pretending.
Well, it was fine that they were joking with me.
Wouldn’t finding proof and exposing their prank be great content?
At that thought, I scrolled the chat upward, but there was nothing unusual.
Just normal things about watching my stream.
They were laughing as if it was their own joke when I mentioned the Easter egg.
They were enjoying the tragic moment when I slumped over and had to restart the game from the beginning.
They were just laughing at my miserable reaction.
Nowhere could I see any sign that they had secretly planned to play me.
So was it true that they hadn’t seen Unni?
Or had she just kept moving in and out of sight?
Honestly, when I saw how scared the viewers were acting, I thought maybe it was my turn to enjoy them.
But no matter what, I was the one who had to entertain them.
If the stream felt awkward, some of the jokers might leave, but a lot of people might not be able to sleep at night from fear.
So even though I hadn’t asked for permission, I subtly lowered the camera angle toward Unni’s side, hoping she would still believe there was a person here.
Some people said things I couldn’t quite understand, but any controversy would disappear with one camera shot.
So while pretending to adjust the camera, I pointed it toward Unni’s side, but my stream screen didn’t show her sitting there.
That was strange, so I turned around.
Unni was still sitting there, legs neatly together in her stockings, looking feminine as always.
“Yeah, Noeul. Why?”
My gaze received an especially gentle and clear reaction from Unni.
Yet this Unni who responded so warmly was nowhere to be seen on camera.
With that, I felt a chill run up my arm.
I asked her directly.
“Um, Unni, who are you?”
“Who? I’m Unni, of course.”
“No, I mean your name….”
“……”
For some reason, Unni only smiled brightly, never telling me her name.