Is It My Fault This Time Too?
Skill, they say, sometimes has this terribly vague benchmark.
People trot it out when they want to talk about whether something is good or bad, and then you’re left wondering how to actually measure it.
Right now, for instance, I’ve been playing a ton of League of Champions.
Take that example. If you look at my solo rank score, you can pretty much call it objectively.
Jaemin hit Grandmaster before me, and his score was higher, so yeah, he’s better on paper.
But when you dig into the details, the story changes.
Do you know the game well?
Do you know the matchups for every champion?
Do you know exactly when and where you should be, whether to fight now or wait?
That whole judgment calls everything skill.
And then deciding who’s better at it, and how much weight each part gets… that’s just plain difficult, isn’t it?
Which brings me to why I’m even talking about this.
Jaemin’s been showing off his cocktail-making skills for the live stream.
“Hehe. I make a good cocktail, right? How’s this for a Bartender Celestia?”
“Wow, seriously? You didn’t even add any color syrup and it’s this pretty? I thought you just squeezed fruit juice or something.”
“Hehe. It’s all from what I learned in the game. Hey, everyone. Why the lewd comments? This is already pretty good, right? The reason I can’t be a bartender is because there are so many complicated steps to open a bar, pick a successful location, get the ingredients, and especially the insane number of problematic customers!”
Honestly, there was no fancy technique involved at all.
I just squeezed the juice out of the fruit I brought and mixed the fruit-base drinks with soju.
Is that skill? The viewers were probably asking the same thing.
Actually, I think it is skill. I really do.
Anytime you mix different stuff into alcohol and make something tasty, that’s a cocktail, right?
But even within the mix, there can be bad ingredients.
Like throwing rotten fish into the mix, or just dumping more alcohol on top and doing some weird tasting to see the smell and the throat hit.
Even avoiding those things is skill, isn’t it?
Alcohol itself is disgusting, but mixed with good stuff it usually tastes fine.
But if you pour it into strawberry syrup for a kid’s medicine, your liver will hate you.
That kind of thing is what I mean by skill.
“Yeah, the drinks Jaemin makes are really good. Honestly, soju tastes gross and vodka has no flavor at all… but out of everything I’ve tried, these were the best. I’d call it drinking juice instead of alcohol.”
“Hehe. High praise. Well, technically it’s just fruit juice on popular drinks anyone could make… but hey, knowing recipes and using them is skill too, right?”
“Exactly. Even studying for exams is just memorizing, right? Then it wouldn’t be your skill.”
“No, it is.”
I know that if the stream is just for fun, I should tease Jaemin a little.
But I hate seeing my friend getting made fun of for no reason.
That’s why Gabi, who usually doesn’t care about streams, jumped in to help Jaemin today.
Last time we watched, they seemed to be teasing each other a bit.
Thankfully, because there was alcohol in the snacks, she showed her true self.
Usually “showing your true self” means revealing that ruthless side behind the fake smile.
But this time it was just friendly, warm-hearted Gabi.
No need to say anything about Gabi herself. She’s been my friend since I was a kid.
I’ve always known she’s a good person.
She’s not the type to stand by and watch injustice.
But if someone’s in trouble, she’ll help without hesitation.
She just doesn’t give everything she has like a fool, so I don’t worry she’ll get taken advantage of.
Jaemin… he was the one who stepped up to help me first, even though he said he only used me at the beginning to boost his stream with my wheelchair.
But the things he’s done since then have been pure goodwill.
There were plenty of chances to be greedy.
He could have taken a cut from the donations, or given me a crappy wheelchair.
He could have used my disability to farm pity and kept scamming people.
But he didn’t.
Even the money the viewers donated for my wheelchair, he turned around and donated back cleanly, claiming it was his own money.
He said viewers told me the same thing.
And I know it’s not because he’s kind.
These two kind people are right here next to me, and it’s genuinely precious.
I let out a genuine laugh.
It’s a world where you can do whatever you want, yet they live like this.
“Whoa, I’ve never seen you laugh like this before, Noel.”
“Yeah. I don’t even know when was the last time you smiled. My heart’s all mushy.”
But when we look into each other’s eyes, we’re all thinking the same thing.
Ah, maybe the other way around.
Anyway, I guess Gabi and Jaemin noticed me staring.
They kept clapping and laughing as they looked at me.
“Hey, I haven’t had much to smile about lately. But I’m smiling with you two, right?”
“Nope. Never once.”
“The old you was always laughing. What happened to make you like this…”
“Yeah… I really don’t want to talk about someone else’s parents, but…”
They were laughing together just moments ago, but now they’re suddenly quiet, heads hanging low.
Well, I had been getting beaten up pretty badly until recently.
But I’m fine now.
It’s not like I’m tied down to anything that bad.
“Hey, it’s all old news. Make me another cocktail. Should we pull out the vodka too? It has higher alcohol than soju, right?”
Just to lighten the mood, I slid an empty glass across the table.
There were six pieces of chicken and six tteokbokki sticks.
After eating them, my stomach was already full, so a cocktail probably wouldn’t sit well.
Even after chewing and swallowing solid food, there’s still some empty space in your stomach, like Tetris blocks.
But the volume is too much to ignore, and eventually you’ll hit the limit of liquid space.
Fortunately, Gabi and Jaemin quickly came back to talking about drinks.
Both their faces were flushed red.
They were tipsy enough to be happy.
Jaemin was in a loose tank top and jeans, hair tied back in one ponytail, so the flush just looked adorable.
But Gabi, in her fresh sundress and full makeup, swaying a little… the sight was dangerously captivating.
If I were a man, I probably would have gulped and couldn’t look away from Gabi’s face.
Whoa, she got even prettier.
Thankfully I’m a woman now, so that didn’t happen.
I just felt a little amazed that Gabi had become so beautiful.
Ah, how unfortunate.
“Umm, then I’ll get drunk faster, right?”
Jaemin tilted his head at my thought, breaking my internal monologue.
Isn’t alcohol supposed to be drunk for the purpose of getting drunk?
Why is he worried I’ll get drunk too fast?
“I’m going to get full quick anyway, so I won’t drink much. If that’s the case, maybe higher alcohol will be less of a waste.”
“Then only Noel’s drink…?”
“Yeah, mix it with soju. I’ll pass out if I drink too much and can’t go home. …Umm, I can just get drunk and sleep at Noel’s house? Hehe.”
Ah, I was too quick to assume.
Well, my house is fine, but Jaemin and Gabi aren’t.
Just the thought of Gabi hugging me while slurring made me realize walking home would be impossible if they got too drunk.
It would be a disaster if it happened at a guy’s house.
But now I’m a woman, so… I guess it’s fine?
But Jaemin isn’t.
Even though he’s clearly a woman, and viewers know it, he still insists on being a man.
If he falls asleep at my place, people will talk about it for ages.
Even if it’s just a joke, I don’t want to make him the gossip.
I decided to respect their opinions.
“Gabi’s already pretty tipsy too. Give me just the vodka.”
“I don’t get tipsy. Hey, our Noel. Why are you so cute? Sis will buy you snacks if you follow her.”
“I’m good. I’m full. And there’s plenty of snacks Jaemin brought anyway. Eat those.”
“Ugh, you don’t look like a victim at all.”
I guess Gabi should stop feeding them so much alcohol.
While we were still at it, after finishing all the chicken and tteokbokki,
they wanted to switch to fruit as a snack for cocktails.
Then Gabi suddenly lifted her cup and shouted.
“Second round! Let’s do a second round!”
“Umm… is a karaoke place okay for you? And it’s hot outside. Gabi, you did your makeup, so it’ll be sweaty…”
“Oh, I learned something. Everyone stand up first.”
“There’s still some alcohol left, and I already sliced the fruit…”
I complained a bit.
But Jaemin picked up his phone and stood up, so I stood too.
Then Gabi started spinning in a circle on the table, drawing a big circle.
“Okay, everyone switch seats clockwise. When the drink seating changes, that’s the second round, right?”
“Hahaha, makes sense. Moving over here, I see the fridge. The scenery changed completely.”
“…Where did he learn something weird again?”
They were already changing seats, but I couldn’t help but laugh.
It was weird, but it was so Gabi.
I smiled, picked up the next cocktail, and sipped it.
Vodka mixed with grape juice and apple juice.
Wine, because the alcohol was in the grapes.
I was still laughing at Gabi’s antics earlier, but the viewers coughing from laughter at this joke made me smile too.
“Hehe.”
I ended up making an idiotic, goofy laugh without meaning to.