Someone's Worry (2)
Lee Ha-eun hated the smell of alcohol. Her head was spinning. The hazy feeling made her feel like she was losing herself. But she didn't shake off Marei's hand. Pulled by Lee Ha-eun, he fell back onto the sofa once more. The pungent smell of alcohol that seemed to induce coughing, the soft breasts and the firm female body. Marei was flustered and couldn't do anything. No, he reached out and gently pulled Lee Ha-eun's body into an embrace. It was a natural action he did every day with the women clinging to him, so Marei acted as usual without any thought.
"......Lee Ha-eun… What happened?"
Lee Ha-eun didn't say anything. Her heartbeat could be heard. Marei couldn't understand at all why they were having this conversation now, or why Lee Ha-eun was doing this to him. Her vertically slit yellow eyes trembled as if they were about to burst into tears at any moment.
"Let's just sleep for an hour. Like this."
"Lee Ha-eun…. Teacher?"
Only the sound of her heartbeat, as if it might break, answered in place of Lee Ha-eun. Feeling a subtle warmth, Marei also closed his eyes. He had no confidence to shake off Lee Ha-eun's strangely trembling hand. He slowly breathed in sync with her faint breathing sounds and closed his eyes. He gently interlocked fingers with her sleeping hand. She felt incredibly small.
When Marei woke up from sleep, Lee Ha-eun was reading a book right next to him. At the sight of Marei hurriedly looking around to check the time, she briefly said, "It's almost lunchtime."
Marei let out a short sigh. It was a sigh of relief of sorts, but he had to inhale and exhale several times before he could come to his senses. His body didn't move well because the drowsiness still lingered subtly. He also felt dizzy, perhaps because he had smelled the alcohol for a long time.
"I bought something to eat, so eat first."
Lee Ha-eun roughly pointed to the sandwich on the table. After gulping down the milk next to it, he was able to wake up enough to think properly. The smell of alcohol that had filled his nose just moments ago felt like a complete lie.
"Is Muerangde absent today?"
"Something happened the day before. She'll come properly starting next week. Ah, I'll hold extra classes on the weekend, want to join? I'll bring Muerangde too, meow."
"No, but the thing with Muerangde…. Is it related to you too, Lee Ha-eun?"
Lee Ha-eun shrugged her shoulders. She scratched her cheek and calmly explained why Muerangde couldn't come.
"It's Vampire's Magic Day, meow."
Magic.. magic.. Marei muttered and immediately realized what it meant and quickly averted his gaze. Lee Ha-eun closed the book she was reading and burst into giggles.
"Ah, it's different from the magic day of human women. Have you ever heard the story that vampires get stronger when the full moon rises, meow?"
"Ah… A little?"
"The full moon thing is just nonsense, and the only thing in common with menstruation is that it happens a few days a month. Well, it's hard to explain, but simply put, there's a day when the blood boils. It's said to be like a beastkin's estrus period but different… Well, destructive instincts, uncontrollable power… Things like that. No need to be embarrassed, meow. Of course, those kids are embarrassed though, meow."
So, next time you meet, pretend you don't know. Lee Ha-eun took the milk cup Marei had drunk from and emptied its contents completely. There was white milk on her lips, but Lee Ha-eun roughly wiped it off with her arm. Lee Ha-eun seemed to think that adding "meow" at the end of sentences was enough. Marei decided to let it slide why she kept adding "meow" and sometimes stopped using that strange suffix that mimicked a cat's cry.
".......You still consider Muerangde a friend, right?"
"Yes."
Marei answered without any hesitation, and Lee Ha-eun, seeming to like that answer quite a bit, mischievously ruffled and stroked Marei's hair. He felt something strange about the touch that was much longer and stickier than usual, but he dismissed it as his imagination.
"How many people in this world only succeed?"
"Suddenly….? Well."
Marei thought of the people around him. Erden, Labella, Julia, Idrien, Ilien, etc. There were more than he thought. But Marei knew all too well that those were exceptional cases. The village near the barrier was a place where people who had no choice but to keep retreating were driven to.
"I've also lived with many failures. Whether it was hunting, friendships, disciple relationships, marriage, all of them. The first failure brings a shock as if the world is collapsing. The second time it becomes dull, and then more, and even more, it just keeps getting duller. And you learn from it. Ah, I'm not the protagonist of the world… That's what you realize."
Lee Ha-eun shook her head roughly while ruffling her own hair. She didn't forget to grumble that saying such things wasn't her style. Whether it was embarrassing or not, she kept talking without meeting his gaze.
"Unless it's a special case like your adoptive mother or great-grandmother, everyone realizes it with their body and accepts it. And they live acknowledging that they are just a part of this vast land."
"What if you don't acknowledge it…?"
Marei unconsciously interrupted at Lee Ha-eun's words. Lee Ha-eun met Marei's gaze again. Her yellow eyes were shining gloomily.
"If not? If you don't…. Well, you become an idiot. Whether in body or mind. You just keep getting hurt and hurt and hurt. Without even becoming numb, you keep receiving wounds endlessly. More viciously and vividly than before."
Lee Ha-eun stroked her lower abdomen. A wound that looked like it had been torn apart was subtly revealed over her pants.
"From the perspective of an educator or an adult, you want the kids under you to become protagonists. Even someone like me who's become an idiot wants Muerangde to become the protagonist. Like the 'happy' princess in a very happy fairy tale story."
"......A princess?"
"Yeah, a 'happy' princess."
Lee Ha-eun swept up her bangs as if frustrated. From Lee Ha-eun who emphasized the word happy so much, one could feel her affection for Muerangde. For some reason, her words were so painful that it was hard to say anything.
"That kid is just a middle schooler with chuunibyou. I'm alone. There's no one who understands me. Anyone next to me becomes unhappy. She's just a little brat who doesn't know anything and still smells like milk."
"Muerangde isn't that young..."
"She is. She is young. What does a kid who grew up only at home without proper social life know? At most, she's been going to school and hasn't even met peers for 3 years, what does she know?"
Marei was about to say something in rebuttal to the harsh evaluation of Muerangde, but Lee Ha-eun just concluded like a judge reading a verdict. No, it was too emotional to be a conclusion. It was more like a defense. In her trembling voice, sadness seemed thicker than anger.
"Don't defend her, don't advocate for her. You're young too."
Compared to when she was drinking, Lee Ha-eun was so different that one couldn't think they were the same person. An adult. Marei was overwhelmed by the beastkin in front of him. It felt strangely unfair. He bit his lips tightly. It was even more so because he knew Lee Ha-eun's words weren't wrong.
"To us, it seems like nothing but kids' tantrums. It might be natural to feel rebellious. Did we never be kids? We were also kids just like you, living with similar worries. But we couldn't solve them coolly either. We just turned our eyes away, ignored it, and turned our backs. It's also our first time being adults. It would be nice if we could live again…. Tsk. I said some stupid things. Forget what I just said."
Lee Ha-eun, as if angry, picked up a sandwich and ate it voraciously before speaking. Without lifting her head.
"So. You hold onto that kid a bit. If you're really friends."
Lee Ha-eun tightly grabbed Marei's sleeve. Only then did Marei notice that Lee Ha-eun's hands were trembling.
".......Something happened, didn't it, Teacher Lee Ha-eun. Even without asking, Muerangde and I are friends."
"Damn it…. Fine. I like it too much. Yeah, that's enough. And stop asking what happened. It's a personal matter. It's fine."
"Where are you going?"
"I wish that were the case….. I'll tell you later. It would be better if a situation comes where I don't have to tell the story. That bitch like a dog…."
Lee Ha-eun was just clenching her fist, but a chilling sound came from within. She was just glaring at someone who wasn't there with gritted teeth, but Marei couldn't even breathe from the killing intent flowing out.
"Sorry… Haa. Just no matter what our relationship becomes…. You'll still continue being friends with Muerangde, right?"
"Why are you saying such scary things. What are you going to do to Erden unni, no. Sister…?"
Lee Ha-eun snorted. And then burst into loud laughter while holding her stomach. She laughed and laughed until tears welled up in her eyes. Then stopped as if it were a lie. Her yellow eyes were clearly filled with killing intent.
"It would have been better if I could do something….. For example, murder…. It's not a joke but you don't need to be that tense. With this stupid body, I can't beat that monster. If I can even leave a scratch, I'll call it a miracle."
"Then why are you saying such things…. I'm anxious."
Lee Ha-eun let out a short sigh. She pressed Marei's forehead with her finger and made him lie back on the sofa again. As if climbing on top, Lee Ha-eun was within breathing distance.
"What kind of relationship do you have with the Saintess?"
"Huh? Huh? That is..."
He couldn't give a proper answer because sticky skinship was just the beginning, licking or sucking breasts, and he couldn't say that they do pet play with a collar in the church along with his adoptive mother.
"That kid doesn't like people. She likes kids a bit though….. Why on earth..."
Lee Ha-eun was looking at Marei. From each strand of hair, eyebrows, eyes, and neck, even the clothes he was wearing, everything. And as if she didn't understand, she let out an "Uwaaaak!" sound and leaned back on the backrest.
"What did Sister Erden say…?"
".....No."
Lee Ha-eun let out a long sigh.
"Did she hit Teacher Lee Ha-eun again by any chance…?"
"No. If I were serious, I'd fight well too? Erden Fabel, that bitch is just a thug…."
Lee Ha-eun frowned deeply. At her appearance, excited enough to emit killing intent, Marei couldn't ask any more questions. Her expression alone could imply not to ask any more.
"Just… just. Yeah. It's lunchtime. Go eat with your friends."
"Aren't you going to eat, Teacher Lee Ha-eun?"
"This is enough."
Lee Ha-eun pointed to the four remaining sandwiches. Marei had no choice but to get up from his seat at her appearance that was putting unspoken pressure to leave. For some reason, he felt like he had done something wrong. It felt like passing through a swamp. His ankles sank deeply into unknown emotions, slowing his steps out.
"Hey, Marei de Pawen."
"Yes?"
"It's Professor."
At Lee Ha-eun's words, Marei had no choice but to ask again.
"Not teacher, but professor."
"Yes…. Professor Lee Ha-eun."
"Pfft…..! Just call me Lee Ha-eun. Whether you call me teacher or not. Go."
At Lee Ha-eun's appearance that had returned to a capricious, playful one, Marei bowed at the waist to greet her and decided to ask the question he had been thinking about since earlier.
"But, Teacher. Why from earlier have you been adding meow- meow- sometimes, and sometimes not adding meow- meow-?"
"......It's just a hobby."
Lee Ha-eun smiled unpleasantly. Marei closed the door of the classroom that was written as classroom but was accurately called a gymnasium.
—Creeeeak….
I need to oil it. Lee Ha-eun left a short impression. The sound of footsteps gradually faded, and only when it was completely inaudible did she kick the sandwich basket in front of her. The sandwiches floated in the air and scattered vegetables and sauce on the floor as they were.
"Fuck…"
Lee Ha-eun muttered curses without rest and stomped on the sandwiches rolling at her feet indiscriminately. She wanted to kill Erden. And she felt like she hated Marei de Pawen to death. She hated the appearance of that boy who had no sin and knew nothing. Thinking of Erden's request made her stomach churn. Vomiting came out of her mouth. She threw up part of the sandwich she had just eaten as it was. When she first heard it, she thought it was nonsense, but the madness in that bitch's eyes as she spoke crazy words with a completely serious face without laughing at all was real.
"Uweeeeeeek..!"
Lee Ha-eun couldn't hold it in anymore and threw up the remaining food in her stomach once again. A sour feeling rose in her throat, and the smell of alcohol came up. Crazy bitch. Crazy bitch. Lee Ha-eun could do nothing but curse at Erden without rest.
"Disgusting…..."
Erden's proposal wouldn't leave her ears. Lee Ha-eun spat out a small curse and covered her face with both hands. The image of the young boy came to mind. Those eyes that seemed like they still didn't know anything. Even if he had awakened to sex a bit quickly, a boy of that young age who probably couldn't even properly buy an erotic book. It might have been okay if she could just hate him. She hated herself for not even having the courage to hate Erden's madness. So she wanted to rationalize that it was better to hate the young boy instead. But that didn't work.