I'm Not the Archbishop, I Tell You (2)
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Amelia’s cold gaze swept across the room.
“Pointing your swords at my benefactor.”
“You… how… Your body was on the brink of death just yesterday, and now you’re overflowing with vitality…”
The count stammered in shock, and Estelle, gauging the mood, cautiously stepped forward.
“Allow me to introduce myself, Countess. I am Estelle, a saintess candidate from the Imperial Capital branch of the Holy Church.”
After revealing her status, Estelle briefly explained how we’d ended up as guests here and the commotion outside.
Amelia, who had listened quietly, raised a hand to cut her off.
“Saintess candidate. Do you know about the curse that afflicted me?”
“…It’s a curse from ManShinJeon. The excruciating pain as your flesh is eaten away… Almost no one survives.”
“And do you know how to lift it?”
“It requires nearly half a century’s worth of lifespan or divine power. Or killing the one who cast it.”
“Exactly. You know it well.”
Estelle’s eyebrow twitched. Amelia was polite enough, but her words cut deep.
She placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Before I married my husband, our family was the Holy Church’s greatest patron. When I was cursed, they promised immediate treatment right away—but I waited half a year.”
Amelia stared straight at Estelle as she spoke. Estelle lowered her eyes and fell silent.
“I understand. There are many lost lambs you need to save besides me. Losing half a century of divine power could impact ManShinJeon or the northern front lines. But.”
Amelia’s voice grew heavy.
“I can’t comprehend persecuting the benefactor who saved me as a heretic. Is this the Holy Church’s way?”
“Countess… that’s…”
“He accomplished what the Holy Church couldn’t. He gave me half a century of lifespan.”
A heavy silence descended on the room.
“Gasp!”
Lannancy sis, standing beside me, gaped and hurriedly covered her mouth with both hands.
Sariya sis, on the other side, cracked her neck and fixed me with dead eyes.
What the hell did you do…?
Her glare screamed it.
I felt wronged too.
“He even reconstructed your body.”
“…Reconstructed your body?”
The room stirred at the words.
Once one reaches Swordmaster or grand mage level, the body restructures into its optimal state. That’s called body reconstruction.
“It’s common sense that paying with lifespan means aging accordingly. Yet you’ve returned to your youthful form. If that’s not a miracle, what is?”
I averted my eyes as Amelia spoke.
…I didn’t change at all.
The only difference was my once-protruding belly now sucked in. Nothing else felt majorly different.
Just stay quiet.
Speaking up would only drag out explanations, so I kept my mouth shut.
“……”
Estelle’s lips moved soundlessly, at a loss for words.
“So young, yet talented enough for body reconstruction—and selflessly offering his lifespan. Isn’t that the nobility the Holy Church preaches?”
“…You’re right. But the circumstances fit too perfectly.”
“Do you suspect me?”
“……”
“Fine.”
Amelia rose gracefully and approached the count. He trembled, stroking her cheek in disbelief.
“Really… are you truly my Amelia? Am I not bewitched by a yokai right now?”
Slap!
Amelia soundly slapped his cheek.
Everyone stared in shock.
“Feeling sensible now?”
“…Amelia?”
Amelia beamed and nestled into his arms. Her voice softened with each word.
“I’m back… honey… I didn’t die…”
The count’s shoulders soaked through quickly. Soon, he burst into sobs.
“Ahh, Amelia…!”
He wrapped his arms around her back, weeping. The soldiers stood solemnly at the couple’s reunion.
Meanwhile, Sariya sis signaled me with her eyes.
…Now?
With everyone’s guard down, it was our chance. We exchanged glances and began inching toward the window.
Then.
The count wiped his tears and shouted to the soldiers.
“Everyone… lower your swords.”
“B-but, my lord! Those yokai over there…!”
“Didn’t you hear me? Sheathe your blades now!”
At his command, the soldiers reluctantly sheathed their swords. As I crept toward the window, Amelia sidled up to me.
Uh-oh.
I was caught.
We’re screwed.
The count asked me cautiously.
“Did you… no, did you truly save my wife?”
Dozens of eyes locked on my lips.
I swallowed hard. Lying again could blow everything up. Sticking to the truth seemed safest.
“Uh… I wasn’t trying to save you, exactly.”
The mood sank; everyone furrowed their brows.
That’s not it?
I scratched my cheek awkwardly.
“You just looked so lonely sitting there alone… so when you asked me to hold your hand, I did.”
“……”
Silence fell again. The count and Estelle’s pupils shook wildly.
“Um, excuse me.”
A trembling, delicate voice.
The stares shifted from me.
It was Lannancy sis.
“H-honestly! Our little bro’s been doing nothing but good deeds since the cookie house!”
She jabbed with a bunny-rage face.
“J-jumping to call him evil like that? That’s something only scumbags without any decency would do…!”
Lannancy sis clenched her fists, spoke deliberately, then hid behind me.
“D-did I do good? L-let’s run, quick…!”
She’d mustered huge courage, but her legs shook.
“…She’s right. We haven’t killed a single person at the cookie house or here. Is witch-hunting how you humans operate?”
Sariya sis backed her up and stood close to me.
“…You’ll have to explain that lifespan thing properly later.”
Her low murmur, just for me, was a bit scary.
At the sisters’ words, Estelle and the soldiers’ gazes converged.
The count stared at the ceiling silently.
Swoosh.
Amelia took his arm. He looked at her, then nodded gravely.
He called to Estelle.
“Saintess candidate. Will you confirm if I’m under yokai enchantment?”
“…No, my lord. Your mind is clear.”
With her firm assurance, the count sighed deeply.
“Then I’ll share my thoughts.”
He met my eyes.
“In my judgment as Rudin Fruitsring, Count, the boy before us is no ManShinJeon agent, nor are the two women the yokai we know. Above all, he is the benefactor who revived our territory’s lady.”
He bowed politely to me and continued.
“I apologize for our hasty suspicions and failure to trust you. You three will be treated as honored guests of the territory, and I, Count Fruitsring, take full responsibility.”
…Clap clap clap.
The soldiers applauded; Estelle bit her lip and closed her eyes.
Rudin shook my hand, whispering softly.
“…But keep those two women in check. Make sure they eat something other than their usual fare. Get my meaning?”
I nodded dazedly.
***
The next day.
Our treatment changed dramatically.
No trace of yesterday’s grim prison—the grandest, most luxurious room in the mansion was ours.
Servants bowed 90 degrees whenever they saw me; the table groaned under endless gourmet feasts. Maids in the halls thanked me for saving the lady.
Amelia was hugely popular.
Of course, we weren’t fully free. Sariya sis and Lannancy sis had to stay in my room or stick with me.
Estelle trailed us awkwardly each time.
“I sincerely apologize for the misunderstanding.”
In the corridor to Amelia’s room at her summons.
Estelle walked beside me.
“No, I’d have suspected too. I’m not exactly normal.”
I waved it off. I couldn’t say I wasn’t miffed, but her caution was wise.
If I’d been truly evil, or the sisters planning to devour people yokai-style, she’d have been right.
Wait, Sariya sis aside—Lannancy sis did try to eat people.
…Best gloss over that.
“Anyway, I learned a lot. Archbishop.”
I froze at “Archbishop.”
“…Haha. Good one.”
“Not a joke?”
“……I’m really not an archbishop?”
“…Don’t tease, Archbishop. I’m truly reflecting.”
Estelle flailed her hands.
It’d been like this since earlier.
Her naturally kind nature made her feel mortified for suspecting me.
Her ManShinJeon theory was wrong, but I did impersonate an archbishop.
One mistake made her doubt the rest.
Plus, she said impersonating an archbishop wasn’t a big deal—being ManShinJeon was.
But I wasn’t.
So that morning, she’d knelt before me, forehead to the floor in apology.
‘Dogez a’ pose, per apprentice priest Kyle.
Only done toward others in utmost shame to the divine.
She tried it dozens of times.
Sariya sis mocked her insincerity, so she doubled down.
It might’ve gone forever without my intervention.
Hence now.
“I’m really not an archbishop, okay?”
“I know.”
“…For real?”
“Sometimes cardinals announce late. Not every high priest qualifies as archbishop. Stop teasing.”
No.
I’m really not…
I gave up.
No point insisting; denying just made her eye that dogeza again.
Wonder why the countess wants me.
The servant said she had a favor.
Hope it’s not too tough.
I planned to ask a favor too.
Need ID.
Realized here: no citizen papers. Normal for empire folk, but yokai parents meant none.
Essential for blending in, jobs, money later.
Had to get some.
“Gets funnier the more I hear. You.”
A slender hand shoved Estelle away.
“Nun. Heard from the apprentice yesterday. You reported only us to HQ, skipped the kid?”
Sariya sis glared at Estelle.
“What’s your game?”
Estelle’s gentle face hardened instantly.
“Yokai need not know. Mind your own.”
The temperature drop was brutal compared to me. She glared at Lannancy sis muttering beside her.
“And you. Stop the charm attempts? Already annoyed babysitting yokai.”
“Eek!”
Lannancy sis yelped and ducked behind me.
“N-no way… My ultimate charm worked on the archbishop—how could it fail on a saintess candidate…?”
…She thinks I’m the archbishop too.
It never worked on me either.
Couldn’t bear hurting her feelings.
Estelle turned back to me with a warm smile.
“Wondered since the cookie house: how do you perform such miracles? Always had that power?”
A probing question, like interrogation or verification.
“Uh. Good luck?”
To me, it was pure coincidence stacked up.
All my doing? Absurd. Ordinary human me pulling miracles? Never heard of even greats doing that.
“I see. And when did you start believing in the Goddess? Parents around?”
“…I think She’s out there somewhere. I have parents, but… basically an orphan.”
Raised by yokai—officially orphan in human records.
Estelle’s eyes shifted oddly, like slotting a puzzle piece.
“May I ask your age?”
“Fourteen this year.”
“……Ahem.”
Estelle covered her mouth, swallowing a groan. Her pupils quaked.
What’s with her?
We reached Amelia’s door. Estelle grabbed my sleeve desperately.
“Archbishop, do you know of the prophetic saint passed down in the church…!”
“Archbishop, the lady awaits.”
The timely servant opening the door cut her off. I slipped inside, done answering.