Brushing Teeth
03
Grrrowl.
God, my stomach burns. I seriously need to eat something... but if I eat it like this, it'll only feel worse...
No matter how it tasted or what it looked like, he had made it for me, so emergency measures were in order — I had to doctor it into something I could actually get down.
I had no idea how much time had passed, but the original plan had been to wrap up the contract and then eat at home, and my stomach ached from running on empty for so long.
Setting the bowls I'd carried back from the kitchen down gently, I pulled out a frying pan, wiped it over once with a paper towel, and lit the gas stove. I slicked the pan with oil and beat in the eggs that had been sitting out beside it, added his fried rice along with an extra scoop of plain rice, and gave it all another quick turn in the pan to cut the salt as much as I could. To disguise the whole thing as omurice, I cracked a few more eggs into a second pan, and while they cooked, I scrubbed down the offending bowl of oil. By the time I judged it about done, I plated everything into the bowl I'd wiped clean and draped the egg blanket over the top, omurice-style.
I fished out two spoons, wiped them, laid them across the bowls, and carried the whole set over to the little table Suho had set up on the bed. He let out a small sound of admiration.
"Ooh... you're pretty good at housework, aren't you?"
"Well, I have lived alone ever since I got sick at twenty... Not that I'm dying to talk about it... Mm. Here, you eat some too."
"...Okay."
The only thing filling the room was the clink of spoons against bowls, each one breaking the silence in turn; neither of us said a word.
I couldn't tell what Suho was thinking, but at the very least, I couldn't afford to sink into gloom over everything that had happened to me. I had my hands full just sorting out everything I'd need to do to see this contract through.
At last, the two of us — who had traded not a word, focused only on filling our hollow stomachs — set our spoons down on our bowls as if we'd planned it together.
After visibly wrestling with something for a long moment, Suho spoke quietly.
"...Why did the food I made taste so bad, though? Same kitchen, same ingredients..."
"These things happen... But look at the bright side — from now on you get to eat my cooking forever, don't you? Right?"
I meant it to cheer up the deflated-looking Suho, but the reaction I got was not the one I'd expected.
Koff!
Suho suddenly folded nearly in half, coughing his lungs out.
"Hahh..! Koff! Tch—koff!"
"Whoa — you okay? Want me to get you some water?"
He nodded with his face still turned away, coughing like a fish bone had caught in his throat. I thumped his back a few times, then went to the fridge for water.
Sliding the bottle out through the fridge's built-in beverage bar without opening the main door, I came face to face with the hellscape revealed behind it.
Leftover delivery containers crammed in every which way... what a graveyard...
"Here, drink. ...By the way, what is going on with that fridge..?"
Hff—
"Gulp, gulp. Puhaa—! I've always ordered delivery, koff! That's how I've covered my meals."
Patting the back of the still-hacking Suho, I asked the thing I'd been wondering about.
"...That needs a proper clear-out one of these days. What are you up to tomorrow?"
Suho dug his phone out of his pocket, thumbed through it a few times, and looked at me.
"I'll... probably be heading to the office by eight thirty in the morning."
"Then here's the plan — I'll clear out the fridge and clean the place during the day, and in the evening we'll go grocery shopping."
"I'm sorry — what?"
Suho stared at me like I'd lost my mind, so I pressed him.
"What? You don't want the food I make? After wolfing it all down like that? You planning on delivery for the rest of your life, huh?"
"...! N-no, of course not... S-sure... let's do that."
Whether he'd been startled by my words or was sulking again, Suho had all but turned his back on me. Ignoring him, I gathered up the dishes, set them in the sink, and filled them with warm water.
"Looks like I'd better dig out every last dish in this place and wash the whole lot."
With my stomach reasonably full, something finally occurred to me, and I asked Suho.
"Oh — that reminds me. What about my laptop and my car?"
"Your car's parked in the underground garage, Noona — my driver handled it. The landlord of your old place will be sending the laptop over."
"Mm... well, I did just finish the project, so... I'll post the completion notice around noon tomorrow. Dishes in the morning, clear out the fridge... tidy my room... groceries in the evening. Yeah, that works. Do you have a car?"
"There's the company car, but... my driver's on leave tomorrow... And I don't have a license."
And there he goes, talking like the CEO of some corporate mega-empire out of nowhere. I will never get used to that...
No — scratch that. He didn't merely talk like the head of a corporate empire. He was the head of a corporate empire.
Doing my best to shake off the feeling that I'd woken up as the lead of one of those novels — chosen by a chaebol and remade into a whole new life! — I floated a proposal to Suho.
"Then tomorrow we take my car and go shopping."
"Yes... of course. I'll be home around six tomorrow evening."
"Mm... won't traffic be bad by then?"
Suho shook his head.
"We won't be leaving straight from the office. I should come home, shower, and rest a bit first, shouldn't I? Noona."
Ah... right.
"Good point. You get off work, come home, shower, and then we head out together."
"Okay. Get some rest, then — you must be exhausted. It's already eleven... I'll turn in as well."
Just as he flung a blanket and pillow onto the sofa, I grabbed the end of his sleeve. He looked back at me with a look that plainly asked, what now?
"Hey. You were going to sleep on the sofa?"
"...? Yes."
He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and I couldn't follow him at all.
"Baby that body of yours while you're young. Sleep on a sofa and your back will give out before you know it. We're sharing the bed. Go bring the blanket and pillow back. Chop chop."
For reasons beyond my understanding, Suho balked, his eyes ping-ponging between me and the sofa.
"...What are you doing? Hurry up."
I gave his rear a few little pats by way of encouragement, and at last he fetched the blanket and pillow with the air of a man conceding defeat, lying down beside me.
"...Y-you're the one who said we should sleep together, Noona! I was very clearly about to sleep on the sofa!"
"There, there. Cramped or not, the bed beats the sofa. You're just too young to get it — one of these days you'll deeply regret every year you spent not taking care of yourself."
Head still wobbling in protest, Suho rolled over, presenting me with his back.
"Noona, please turn off the lights. I'm going to sleep."
"Okay. Night. Sleep tight."
I climbed off the bed to go kill the lights — and then something flashed into my head, one thing I'd very nearly forgotten.
Whoops, that would've been a disaster. How did I forget that...?
I gave the shoulder of the back-turned Suho a few little taps.
"Suho. Asleep already?"
Suho opened his eyes slowly and rolled toward me.
"Wh...at? As if."
"Phew, good! Brush your teeth, then bed."
"Pardon..? You woke me up just for that..."
"Yes, now hurry..! If you don't, I'll scrub you down with the toothbrush myself. Come on, let's go."
I prodded the prone Suho, who was making a decent show of not having heard me, but he didn't stir so much as a millimeter.
This is a man planning to weep with regret in a dentist's chair someday.
I laced my fingers through his right hand, wormed the fingers of my other hand into his left flank, and barely, barely managed to lever him upright.
Wow... I'm out of breath just from moving him?
"Come on! Ugh, seriously~ let's go! Uppp and at 'em!"
At long last, the horizontal Suho was vertical.
"..."
"Hah. Why won't you budge..!"
Shoving at the back of a seated, stone-faced Suho who only stared at me, I ended up toppling over first.
Watching me sprawled across the mattress, Suho stroked my hair as he spoke.
"By the way, Noona — you don't actually have a toothbrush here."
"Mm... no spare one lying around?"
You'd think the man would keep at least one guest toothbrush.
"I don't. This place has only ever had me living in it."
"Hmm... that's a problem... Because the way things are going, the day you land in a dentist's chair..."
Hold on. Didn't he say he'd be footing the bill for everything related to daily life?
The thought zipped through my head, and before I could stop it, a sly grin spread across my face.
"Heehee."
"What is it, Noona? Don't smile like a pervert."
"Nothing...! I wasn't thinking anything!! I was just saying — even if I got a full health checkup, like, around a month before the finale — that still counts as a living expense, so it'd be on you, wouldn't it!!"
"I'm— pfffhah—! Hkk... pfft."
And with that he burst out laughing, like the whole thing was too ridiculous for words, until there were actual tears in his eyes.
I simply stared at him, wondering what on earth could be so funny.
Even after laughing himself sore, Suho's laughter refused to quit; one hand pressed to his stomach, he forced the words out.
"Pffhah—! What..! Whew..! Just get the checkup done this week. The full comprehensive workup — everything. You've got a woman's body now, so you'd have to be examined sooner or later anyway."
"Ooh? And the bill~ that's on you, right?"
"Yes, yes... I'll pay. So then — Noona, stop making me brush my teeth all by myself and come do it with me."
Brushing my own teeth is honestly a drag... but I'm the elder here. I ought to set an example.
"Fine. I mean, between you and me, sharing a toothbrush shouldn't be a big deal."
I tossed it off in passing and started toward the door marked BATHROOM — but this time it was Suho who caught the hem of my long T-shirt. I stopped at his touch and glanced back over my shoulder, and he spoke, slowly.
"...N-N-Noona."
His head was bowed so deep I couldn't tell what he was thinking or what he meant to say — but with Suho's voice shaking that badly, I had a fair guess.
"Whoa, hey. Even so, brushing your teeth is something you do yourself."
"And what exactly are we to each other, Noona?"
What is he even saying?
"I-I mean, obviously I'm going to brush my own teeth!"
"We're the two people who split a piece of candy right down the middle, remember. That makes us equally due for a good brushing."
We answered each other's questions only to ask new ones, trading opinions in a dizzying, directionless back-and-forth.
Something was clearly not sitting right with Suho; lips jutting in a pout, he stared daggers at me.
"..."
"What? Did I say something wrong?"
Clutching his head, he shook it back and forth like something had crawled onto it, and I seized his shoulders and held them tight. As though that jolted something loose, he raised his face and declared, suddenly resolute:
"You're right! Let's go brush our teeth!"
Does he hate brushing that much? I mean... sure, it's a chore sometimes... but a reaction like that makes it look like I'm the one tormenting him.
"Right. Let's go."
I cocked my head at his baffling reaction, but decided to let it go, and followed Suho as he marched on ahead — into the bathroom, together.