It Can't Be Helped
"Hmm... Where should I start answering from? Better to begin from the very beginning, I suppose. I've forgotten, though—do you remember what it was?"
Mina, who had been thrashing about in a noisy frenzy until moments ago, seemed at last to have settled a little. She crossed her arms over her chest and asked the question in a somewhat calmer voice.
I, however, was in no position to answer with composure or poise. The reaction that had come out of her was the exact opposite of anything I had expected, and my mind still hadn't caught up to the situation—but the emotional side of it weighed far heavier.
Just what part of this nauseating appearance looked cool to her?
"Mina. Exactly what about this form is supposed to be cool?"
I put my pure, unfiltered confusion into the question and sent it back at her. What on earth about this contemptible sight could she call cool?
Mina considered for a moment, then, as if to say so that's where we're starting, launched into her explanation without the slightest hesitation.
"Ah, from there. Well... if a man wrapped in something that might be black mist or black flames, wearing a long coat, isn't cool... then there are only about as many things left in this world you can call cool as you can count on one hand."
"What...?"
"Just looking at you, cool is practically overflowing. Black shadows, long coat, glowing eyes... you've basically gathered every single element that drives people wild. How is anyone supposed to stay calm and not get excited about that?"
So what she meant was...
...that she had simply called me cool because the outer appearance itself looked cool?
The reason was so childish and yet so straightforward that I couldn't even think of what to say.
"So that's the sense of 'cool' we're talking about...?"
I muttered it in sheer disbelief, and Mina answered with complete, unshakable confidence that yes, it was.
"...Appearance aside, I'm a monster. You don't feel disgust or contempt? I heard vampires especially look down on monsters."
I knew full well there was nothing more pathetic or undignified than trying to tear yourself down when someone was already giving you the benefit of the doubt—but I simply couldn't understand, so I had no choice but to ask again.
"Aaah, that..."
She closed her eyes as if she understood exactly what I was getting at, then opened them again and gave a brief explanation.
"The reason we hate monsters is because those incomplete, ugly things swagger around claiming they're superior to vampires without even knowing their own origins."
She added that explaining it in detail would be a headache, but if she had to summarize simply: the relationship between vampires and monsters was similar to the one between monsters and magical girls.
"Did you know that the monsterization technique itself was created after drawing inspiration from the fact that the first vampires were born through a contract with the stars?"
"...That's the first I've heard of it."
Intrigued, I asked her to elaborate. Mina replied that there wasn't much to explain and added only a few more words.
"So... when was it. Around the 1900s, I think. Scholars from the Far East studied us. Once they learned the origin of our power came from the stars, they somehow used that to create the monsterization technique. Judging by the way you're asking, you didn't know?"
She muttered that of course she wasn't surprised—if she were a researcher, she would want to hide the source of this power too.
"...Is that so. Indeed, if it originated from vampires, anyone would want to keep it quiet."
"Well, that's one of the many reasons we despise monsters. You could call it the revulsion the real thing feels when looking at a fake. Though they don't even seem to realize they're fakes—like you."
Mina looked straight into my eyes as she said it.
"Then... why don't you despise me? Someone like me who, as you put it, doesn't even realize he's a fake."
She gazed at me steadily for a moment, then out of nowhere remarked that I didn't seem particularly bright.
Feeling unfairly slapped by the sudden verbal blow, I demanded an explanation. She simply smiled and told me there was no need to overthink it.
"Because you look cool. Do you need a better reason than that?"
"Ha."
"You're such a bothersome man, honestly. If you want a reason that badly... well. Your attitude itself could be considered a passing grade of sorts."
"Attitude?"
"Yeah, attitude. You're servile, and you hate the fact that you're a monster, don't you? I like that attitude of denying yourself as a monster."
Being praised for something I had never imagined anyone would praise left me with no idea how to react anymore.
"You're a completely unreadable woman..."
"I'll take that as a compliment for being unique and lively."
I started to argue, then found I didn't even have the energy, so I told her to think whatever she liked and asked her one last question.
"This attitude of yours that affirms me... can I take that as the attitude of your family as well?"
"No? It's just my personal impression. Still, don't worry too much! The old fossils of the house are one thing, but the Elder really likes me. So you'll probably be accepted without much trouble."
Ah, so that's why she can act this freely. I swallowed the words that nearly slipped out.
There was nothing to gain by needlessly getting on the bad side of the favorite child of someone who might become the next head of the family.
For a fleeting moment the idle question of whether a monster could become a vampire crossed my mind, but I immediately erased such a stupid thought.
If a vampire could become a monster, then a monster could become a vampire. No major problem there, I decided—and it was right then that she spoke again.
"Alright, my story's done. Now let me hear yours."
Mina edged closer, asking me to tell her my story as well, and at the same time started reaching for me again.
I dodged the persistent hand aiming for my head, but finally gave in and let her have it. She shoved her hand inside my head and muttered, "It's completely empty~."
"So that's why you're dumb. Got it."
"...Haa. Fine. So what is it you want to know?"
"The thing where objects too big to come out of a sleeve normally pop out of yours. Is that something like a monster ability?"
Pulling her hand out of my head, Mina wriggled the fingers she had just stuck inside and asked about the secret of my storage.
There was nothing worth hiding, so I answered frankly.
"Yeah. My body... seems to be connected to somewhere I don't even know exactly. I can put all sorts of things in and pull them out when I need them. As a monster I can store and retrieve things through my whole body, but as a human I can only use the shadows inside my clothes that way."
"Oho, so that's why a shotgun always came flying out of your sleeve. What a strange ability."
"...You're not curious about how I switch between monster and human forms?"
Of all things, that should have been the one she was most curious about. Her complete lack of interest struck me as odd, so I asked without thinking.
Once the words were out, it almost sounded as if I secretly wanted to show off my circumstances to someone.
I didn't particularly want anyone to know.
If anything, I wished no one in the world would ever find out.
Even I didn't fully understand why I had said it.
"Uh... uh? Y-yeah, of course! I was going to ask! J-just... a little later!"
I wasn't sure it was something to get that flustered over, but since it had come up, I decided to just tell her now and narrowed down the scope of what to cover.
"Right... First I should start with what I used to be. I was a soldier. It's a bit awkward to say myself, but I was a pretty excellent one."
The moment I began talking, Mina stopped clowning around and simply watched me in silence.
"...When the government approached me with an experiment they claimed only I could do, I accepted without a shred of suspicion."
"What kind of experiment was it?"
"The kind that turns ordinary human men into something like magical girls. An artificial magical girl production project... I guess you could call it."
Mina scrunched her face a little as if I were the hard one to understand, muttering that I had some nerve volunteering for such a suspicious test.
"...Back then, I truly cared about and loved this country."
"Patriotism, huh. A motive I can't begin to understand. Anyway, keep going. So how did you end up like that?"
"The experiment failed. Or rather, it was incomplete from the start. I never even formed a contract with a constellation—never even managed a contract with a star."
I left out the part about dying once at that time.
Even if they were vampires, someone who had come back from death might still draw the wrong kind of interest.
"Not even a contract with a star? Then strictly speaking, you can't even be called a monster, can you?"
"...Well, I did form a contract with something."
"Something?"
"Yeah. Something. I don't know what it was either. But when I woke up, this is what I looked like."
That much was the truth. Even now I still had no idea what star I had contracted with.
Mina answered in an ambiguous tone that could have been curiosity or complete disinterest.
"There really are all kinds of strange cases. Not even knowing whether it was a star or a constellation..."
"Because of that, I ended up in this half-baked state that's neither human nor monster. The smart ones said that if you really had to classify me, I was a bit closer to monster, but... well. I don't know myself."
"So even you still don't know what you are. Is that right..."
"Anyway, to finish the story... After being captured and put through all sorts of experiments, I miraculously escaped and somehow made it here."
"Escape, huh... I take it you didn't leave quietly."
Mina said she finally understood why I had been so furious from our very first meeting, and she looked at me with a strange expression, as if marveling that such a spectacular backstory had been hidden underneath.
Was it pity? Or was she simply admiring even this story as something cool?
I couldn't tell which, so I stayed silent. Then she asked if that was why I had clung to her so desperately.
"...Exactly as you say. I can no longer live legally in this country. I don't even want to live here anymore. All I want is to quietly get out."
"No thoughts of revenge?"
...If I said no, it would be a lie. The desire to track down those bastards who had run endless incomprehensible experiments on me every day, and the ones who had tried to wring every last result out of me, and kill them still remained.
"There are. But I don't think I'd still be alive after finishing the revenge, so I hold myself back. It's not worth staking my life on."
I had held a few things back, but even so, I felt rather proud of myself for having laid so much bare to another person.
"I see. I understand your situation. In that case, I can't just sit back and watch."
Mina stood up, circled around me a few times, then shoved her hand into my head again.
"It's not that I particularly want to play the grown-up... but now that I know, I have no choice but to help!"
Her declaration was truly, sincerely appreciated, but...
"C-could you maybe not touch my head at least? It feels weird."
"Aren't you being a little too stingy with someone who's offering to help?"
I also wished, just a little, that she would show some restraint.