The Place Where the Heart Lingers
It was a day no different from any other. Ameryel rose early at dawn to pray with the few villagers who visited the temple, and I woke up a little later to sweep the courtyard. After finishing my chores, I copied scriptures. Then, right on cue, I ate a light lunch. The menu was stew and black bread. As I was groaning over the assignments Meredith had given me, the protagonist arrived. I feel bad saying this to the protagonist, but he felt like a villain who had come to shatter this peaceful daily life. In reality, he was just a decent young man who had arrived right on time for our dinner plans.
The sun had already dipped low. It was evening.
The restaurant was located in the pleasure district. No one had told me, but to the eyes of a full-grown adult, it was easy to distinguish a normal street from a red-light district at a glance. As we approached the area, the women’s clothes grew shorter, and there were more people who looked rough around the edges. The protagonist seemed to know many of them, exchanging quite a few greetings. Every one of them looked like someone who could throw a punch. A few of them, upon seeing our group, whistled or went further, tossing a couple of lewd remarks at the protagonist. He just laughed those comments off and checked Ameryel’s reaction. She didn’t seem to care much about such jokes. In fact, she kept meeting my eyes whenever I looked toward her, perhaps worried that I might be negatively influenced by the conversation. I felt like I was the one gaining something from those smiles, though. If I hadn’t been there, would their relationship have progressed further? It was truly impossible to tell.
There was a shop at the entrance to the pleasure district. My first impression was simply: it’s huge. There were no other words for it. Even in the district where Meredith stayed, there wasn’t a restaurant this large. Perhaps it was only because it was a pleasure district that such a massive building could stand here. The signboard featured large illustrations of a woman, alcohol, and food, and below that, in smaller letters, the common script read "Woman's Smile". There seemed to be no intention—nor need—to hide what it was. It was a shop with a refreshing, open atmosphere.
Even before we stepped inside, the boisterous noise leaked out. The interior was a different world. Tables were arranged along the perimeter of the building, and in the center, a raised stage stretched out like a runway. The space between the tables and the stage was empty, with people gathering in small groups to dance and sing. The upper floor was also open, except for the edges, allowing one to look directly down at the stage below. Many people were already leaning against the railings, sipping drinks while using the chaos of the floor below as their side dish. Even though the sun hadn’t fully set, the place was packed regardless of where you looked. The air was thick with a mixture of food smells and the scent of alcohol. I felt like I would get drunk just by breathing it in.
Why on earth did you bring me to a place like this? When I turned my gaze to Ameryel with that question in mind, she smiled at me. I mean, she’s pretty, but still.
I discovered a surprising fact. The food was cheap. The alcohol was cheap, too. Everything was so inexpensive that I wondered if they were even making a profit. Looking closely, there were many people who seemed to have come just to enjoy a meal. There were quite a few customers with children in tow. Does this world have a culture of early education like this?
I pestered the protagonist for a while until I could get to the truth. "It’s this big because many people pooled their strength to build it," he answered, barely managing to reply while glancing at Ameryel. Was that the limit of what a Hazel-compliant explanation could be? I really did have an overprotective guardian. A child of my age in this era should be allowed to know more than that.
Listening to his words and looking around, it was indeed true. The employees bustling about all wore badges with different patterns on their chests. Their clothing lacked uniformity, but if you looked closely, they all wore decorations in a set color palette. Red ribbons, blue hair ornaments, green fabric tied around the waist, and so on. It seemed this entire shop acted as a massive bait product. It was a trap designed to lure people in with cheap food and atmosphere at the entrance of the pleasure district, only to drag them deeper into the street. So that’s why it was so large—the entire district had spearheaded the project and invested in it together.
Thinking it over, it made sense. In such circumstances, we were just smart consumers picking out the bait and leaving. While I was busy convincing myself, the food arrived. A dish of a whole roasted small bird with potatoes, a basket of black bread, and a plate of dried figs and berries for each of us. And for the protagonist and Ameryel, a mug of beer each; for me, a glass of water mixed with fruit juice. It was a luxurious meal compared to my usual fare. The employee who served the food scanned our group, gave the protagonist a subtle wink, and disappeared. She was a cute-faced person with her hair tied back in a ponytail with a red ribbon. Did she think there was no one to stop them if the group consisted of one child and one nun? Even with two women in tow, it was a bold sales tactic that left me in awe.
The atmosphere was pleasant and the food was delicious, but the meal between the three of us made no progress. Whatever each of us was thinking, the food on our plates wouldn’t disappear. It felt as if the spot where we sat in this restaurant was isolated from the rest. Seeing the table full of food made me feel uneasy for no reason. Special events that arrived suddenly were always accompanied by bad news.
The first time I went to a movie theater was the day my parents had a huge fight. Since there was no cinema where I lived, we drove for twenty minutes to the next town to watch a movie. It was a documentary about some penguins. Thinking back now, we had just run out blindly, and perhaps that was the only movie suitable for children at the time. It was a movie a little over an hour long, but my mother couldn’t even sit through ten minutes of it. It was the same on the day I ate pizza for the first time. When we returned after eating pizza at a famous franchise, the front door was chained shut. That day, I had to spend two full hours outside before I could get back in. The day they bought me the toy I wanted. The day I was allowed to sleep over at a friend’s house. And the day the nameless half-elf was sold off.
Once a negative thought surfaced, it appeared in a chain, one after another. The monsters that had vanished beyond the mist of oblivion slowly revealed themselves. Standing before those monsters, I wasn’t a young man approaching thirty, nor was I Hazel, the genius squirrel beastkin. I was just a small, helpless child trapped in the cage of old memories. I hated a special life. Because it meant ordinary days would disappear. I liked peaceful days. I liked novels, comics, and games, but I didn’t wish for a special life in another world. I just liked being able to experience such special things. I liked the kind of stimulation where, once you looked away from the screen, you could return to reality and reflect, "That was a great story." That was the level of stimulation I liked. I liked that kind of life.
If you were going to snatch away those days, at least don’t take away Hazel’s daily life. Doing chores at a temple where few people visit. Occasionally going on adventures with the protagonist to learn a little more about this world. Eating dinner while chatting about trivial things, then falling asleep in Ameryel’s arms. You could at least leave me that much of a daily life. They ask if I want to go to the Academy because I have talent, or they act like someone about to leave, trying to make good final memories. Don’t go messing with the place where my heart lingers as you please.
My hand holding the bread trembled. Perhaps because my body was young, my emotions were imprinted directly onto it. Ameryel lifted me up lightly and sat me on her lap. "Why are you so quick to notice things, unlike a child?" It’s because I’m not a real child, but a cynical middle-aged man on the inside. Stories about families parting ways after going to an amusement park or aquarium for the first time are just too common.
Ameryel rubbed her nose against the back of my neck. Every time she let out a shallow breath, the warm air tickled my neck. "I have business in the north, so I have to go there for a while. If it’s fast, a year; if it’s delayed, I don’t know how much longer it will take." Every time she spoke, the breath she exhaled was hot. Unlike the food that remained, her glass was empty. "Hazel, be a bad child. Do what you want to do, eat what you want to eat. Throw a tantrum at Mr. Jiun sometimes..." The protagonist, who had been holding his glass to his lips, gave a bitter smile. "We’ve only seen each other for a month or so. I’ve grown too attached."
After saying that, Ameryel exhaled the rest of her breath. My neck felt damp. Just then, the band changed the music. As the rhythm became more upbeat, the customers filling the shop became boisterous. A small farewell flowed into the chaos of the shop. So that no one would notice. Quietly. The tune changed once more, and a light rhythm played. Perhaps it was an unspoken rule, but even those who had been enjoying their drinks gathered in the empty space provided below the stage and swayed their bodies to the beat. Everyone was just dancing in their own way, but it wasn’t ridiculous.
As I was blankly watching such a scene while held in Ameryel’s arms, a hand suddenly appeared from the side. It was the protagonist. He had stood up at some point and was holding out his hand with a gesture full of bravado. I’m feeling miserable enough to die, so why would I join in on something like that? With that thought, I ignored his outstretched hand. Just when I thought he might have given up, my body tilted. Ameryel had taken the protagonist’s hand. With her other hand, she was still wrapping me in an embrace.