The Place Where the Heart Lingers
Someone once said that life is like walking on an icy road. You stumble and sway, slipping every now and then, but you get back up. I remember it being described as similar to walking on ice—slow, yet steady progress. I find that quite relatable. The only difference, perhaps, is that unlike a frozen pond, life doesn’t make a sound when it cracks.
When ice breaks, it lets out a thunderous roar, but when a peaceful daily life begins to fray, there is no sound at all. If anything, there is only an unsettling silence.
It has been fifteen days since I began my tutelage under Meredith. She insisted on using old-fashioned terms like "master" and "tutelage," and if I didn't play along, she would be annoyingly persistent about it. Is it true that people who use the word "old fogey" like a catchphrase inevitably have a bit of that old-fogey temperament themselves? Regardless of such personal quirks, Meredith was an excellent teacher. She had a particular strength in identifying a disciple’s capabilities. Her eye for detail was so precise that every assignment she gave required me to pour every spare second I had into solving it. Even though, when she saw the work I submitted, she would click her tongue and call me a "tough one."
And so, I transformed from a little nun into a college student buried under a mountain of assignments. For the first few days, Ameryel couldn't hide her sense of disappointment. Perhaps joining me for morning prayers was her own version of happiness. I wanted to join her if I could, but prayer took up so much time that it felt like a burden to commit to it with just that sentiment alone. Besides, her wistful expression didn't last long. Once she saw me pouring every spare moment into my studies, only to collapse into bed late at night, she seemed to feel a sense of pity.
Whenever I sat at my desk, groaning over my work, Ameryel began to quietly place snacks—cookies, candies, or fruit—in the corner. The sweetness I felt when I took a bite of those treats was surely a reflection of her affection. I thought those unremarkable days would continue forever.
"Hazel, wouldn't you like to go to the Academy?"
"Yes...?"
It was an abrupt question. Meredith said it while we were tidying up after class. I turned my head to look at her. Meredith was wiping the ink off the tip of her pen with a dry cloth. Her attitude was indifferent, as if she hadn't said anything of importance.
"Ah, or should you start with the preparatory school instead of the Academy? Still, if I were you, I’d find the time spent in school to be a waste."
Meredith continued to speak. She was still half-turned, her gaze fixed on the pen in her hand. I was confused. The content was clearly important, but her casual demeanor made it feel like she might be joking.
"Tuition can be covered by a scholarship. You'll have to keep your grades up, but Hazel, if it's you, you could do it with half the effort you're putting in now. I'll pester the old fogeys I know to get you a recommendation letter. When they see you, even those old farts will lose their minds and beg, 'Please, let me write your recommendation!'"
She paused for a moment before continuing. Her voice seemed to tremble slightly.
"It’s fun, isn't it? Learning magic. Your guardian will also have one less mouth to feed, so it’ll be a bit easier for her, too. You’ll have to be apart for a while, but it’s not like you’ll never see each other again."
The pen had long since been cleaned, but Meredith’s hand didn't stop moving. I looked up. Her cheeks were slightly flushed. Only then did I realize that this behavior was her own way of hiding her embarrassment.
"Hazel. You’re a genius. You aren't the type of material to just end up living the life of a mere adventurer in a place like this."
She turned her body to face me. Our eyes met. Her pupils were calm, without a single tremor. Yet, they were also passionate.
"It’s… it’s just very overwhelming."
At that answer, the tension left Meredith’s expression. She was looking at me, but it felt as if she were reflecting something other than me.
"I'm sorry for bringing it up so suddenly."
She said that and fell into thought for a moment. I heard the sound of her tapping the table.
"There’s less than a month left. Think about it carefully by then. It’s a very important matter."
Then, she laughed as if she’d just thought of a funny joke and continued.
"Right, the assignment. Solve this before the class ends."
And just like that, I received my final exam alternative assignment.
My mind was a mess the entire way back. It was a good opportunity. I couldn't quite grasp the prestige of the Academy, but since it had "Imperial" in its name, its status couldn't be trivial. If I were a free citizen, I might have accepted it on the spot without much thought. If I had no way to return and had to live in this world forever, it would be the right choice to set everything else aside and go. It should be.
The moment I heard the proposal, two people came to mind: Ameryel, and the protagonist. Meredith said it would only be for a while, but I would likely be separated from them forever. It wasn't as if there were jobs everywhere for someone who graduated from the Academy. Places that wanted such high-level human resources wouldn't be numerous. It would have to be a large city in the Empire or the capital. Ameryel was a devotee, so she couldn't move her residence at will. And the protagonist had things he had to do because he was the protagonist.
I don't know. My head was too cluttered. Rationally, going was the right choice, but... to begin with, I was the protagonist's slave, so I couldn't decide on my own.
Perhaps it was because my worries were blinding me. I didn't see the person walking toward me and collided with them. I couldn't withstand the sudden impact and fell backward. I didn't crush my tail, so I wasn't hurt, but a tingling sensation remained in it.
"Watch where you're going!" the woman in the hood snapped.
"I... I'm sorry..."
"Whatever, just watch where you're going."
The woman said that, then spun around and continued on her way. I felt my tail droop in dejection. I realized then that I had been worrying so much that it was affecting my daily life. It was a bit of a shock.
It was just as I turned and was about to take a step that I heard a husky voice from behind.
"Hey, squirrel."
It was the woman I had bumped into earlier. I turned around, and something flew toward me. I caught it reflexively, and it was the coin purse I carried around. It was a special one that Ameryel had embroidered herself.
"You dropped it. You’re so clumsy."
Yellow eyes glinted from beneath her hood. After saying that, she leaped lightly and vanished from my sight. She was a person whose roughness or kindness I couldn't quite gauge.
Did I drop it when I fell? I felt something strange as I tried to put it back into my pocket. I opened the purse to count, and there were fewer coins than before. The purse, which was light to begin with, had become even lighter. I’d been robbed. My energy drained away completely.
A shopping district a little ways from the city center. Just passing through here makes my heart flutter. It’s the same feeling you get on a holiday, after a long, grueling journey home, when you finally see the familiar scenery in front of your house—that feeling of, "Ah, I'm finally home." Walking through this shopping district naturally brings that feeling.
A path that becomes a bit more secluded after passing the shops. A small temple located down a narrow alleyway. Ameryel was standing in front of it. However, she wasn't waiting for me; she was talking to someone else.
My first impression was that this person was flashy. They were wearing full-body metal armor that shone as if it had been well-maintained. The brass ornaments embedded here and there in the armor were stylish. The armor itself seemed to be saying, "I am a very important person." The fact that a large, burly individual was wearing such an outfit created an immense sense of intimidation. The long sword strapped to their back only added to the pressure. Was the blade even bigger than me?
My gaze wandered until it landed on the brass emblem embedded in the armor, and only then did I realize. Ah, this person must be a holy knight of the temple. The emblem was the same as the symbol of the god served by the temple. Isn't a holy knight a fairly high-ranking person? I didn't know much, but I knew that knights weren't exactly overflowing in this world. Even near the inn where Meredith stayed, horses weren't a common mode of transport, and people wearing full plate armor were rare. That such a high-ranking person was talking to Ameryel was beyond rare; it was unprecedented.
As I stood there, rooted to the spot, watching the two of them, the holy knight and I made eye contact. The knight glanced at me, bowed to Ameryel, and left. Ameryel must have sensed my gaze, for she turned her head to look at me. Ameryel’s expression as she waved at me looked complicated.
For the rest of the day, Ameryel wore a grave expression. I couldn't even bring myself to say something like, "They said they'd push me as a scholarship student if I go to the Academy!"
Night fell. Ameryel lay down on the bed first and tapped her arm. Relieved by her usual appearance, I lay down, resting my head on her arm while facing her. It was a slightly uncomfortable position, but since she liked it, I liked it too. She pulled me into her arms, pressed her nose to the top of my head, and breathed lightly. Her breath tickled my head. I couldn't understand it, but Ameryel said this was the happiest time of her day. She said I smelled savory. I rubbed my face against her chest. I could smell her pleasant, natural scent. It was a skinship I could easily manage since becoming Hazel.
I had been racking my brain all day, so I felt like I would fall asleep in no time. Just as I was drifting off, Ameryel spoke.
"Hazel. Shall we have something delicious for dinner tomorrow? Yes, let's call Jiun over to eat with us, too."
It was a casual remark, but there was a strange inflection to it. The arm holding me tightened. Silence flowed. As if she hadn't said anything at all.