Live On!

In the end, I turned the train around and switched the tracks toward Seoul. In the engine room I shoved the lever all the way forward and stared blankly at the ceiling. A vacuum tube three hundred and fifty meters underground did not offer much in the way of scenery. The lights just smeared into long streaks from the sheer speed.

"Haah… is this actually happening…"

The words slipped out on their own. The highest-ranking Dungeon Lord was going to descend into the human world in person? And not just anywhere — Seoul, a city of 9.41 million people?!

Fuck.

Chaos was a given.

"I'm losing my mind. How the hell am I supposed to stop this catastrophe?"

I muttered it under my breath, the words swallowed by the quiet hum of the electric motors.

"Alpha."

"Report the current situation in Seoul."

A cascade of blue gridlines washed over the entire city on the engine room's control window.

"Hmm…"

A rare peaceful weekend. Citizens out enjoying themselves at the Han River park. Weather that practically begged for a cold beer. I almost felt bad. The worst nightmare of their lives was about to come calling.

A dungeon was no different from an army. If Articetia, its Dungeon Lord, told them to kneel, they knelt. I had to think. A way to stop Articetia…

I started to swipe the hologram away, then froze.

"Wait…"

I pushed the projection upward and peered underground.

"Well, well… Alpha. We're rather short on subterranean data. Not a single biological reading came through, did it?"

The layout of the underground spaces had come through, but there was not a scrap of biological heat-source data. Well… Alpha had a point.

"Deploy the miniature recon drones."

Drones that had been hiding in traffic lights and streetlamps, quietly topping off their charges, all stirred at once. They slipped down through manhole covers with a soft whoosh. Thousands of split screens bloomed in front of my eyes.

"Ugh…"

The footage made my face twist on its own. Filthy water seething with cockroaches. Eggs drifting lazily on the current. The charming spectacle of them eating their own kind. A simulation I had genuinely hoped never to witness in my lifetime.

Then a red dot punched into the underground roadmap, and an alarm shrieked.

BEEP! BEEP!

What the hell was that?

On the drone feed, I could see it. You've got to be kidding me. A cockroach the size ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of a person. The face was a dark-skinned human's. The torso and legs were a cockroach's.

What the fuck!

More and more of them crowded into the frame the drone was recording. The swarm buried it, and the signal died.

Ugh… disgusting. I was so nauseated I could barely breathe.

Wait.

Hold on. This might be…

The corner of my mouth climbed until it felt ready to split.

"Keeheehee… and here I was, troubled by how terribly peaceful everything was…"

I muttered to myself, then swallowed hard.

"Excellent. This is perfect! Slurp!"

My mouth watered. Thanks to this, a way to stop the apocalypse had just dropped into my lap.

"That's right! The whole world ought to be thanking me!"

I snapped upright in a hurry and flung both arms toward the ceiling.

"I shall become this world's savior! Kihihihihihihit!!"

The perfect chance to stop a catastrophe had just arrived.

As if on cue, the hyperloop began to ease off its speed. Directly above us was the underground of Gangnam Station. A secret passage would take us out onto the subway tracks.

But I was not about to let the Lord of the Underworld through that easily.

"Kihihihihihihit!"

I strode out of the engine room, white lab coat billowing in magnificent fashion.

"Lord Articetia! I have arrived at Seoul's Gangnam Station in a mere three minutes and thirty-seven seconds!"

I stamped my dress shoes on the floor three crisp times and threw both arms high.

"Ta-daaah! Well? Is it not truly wondrous?! Keeheeheet!"

Articetia rose lightly from her seat and came toward me. She lifted a hand, slowly, and patted me on the head.

…What is this?

This gentleness…?

I rolled my eyes for a second, hesitating. No. I would not be shaken. If she had raised the whip to lead an army, she was merely offering a carrot now. I must not be taken in.

I pressed one hand to my forehead and snapped the fingers of the other with a flourish.

Snap!

A hologram bloomed across the glass of the far wall.

"But how can this be!! Insolent Mains from some other dungeon have dared to defile the path of Lord Articetia's procession!!"

I narrowed my eyes and jabbed a finger at the swarm of cockroaches writhing on the hologram.

"Can we possibly stand by and watch this?!"

Articetia looked at the seething mass of cockroaches and remained utterly expressionless. No reaction at all. Tch. This would not do…

In that case!

I shot a razor-sharp look at her closest aide, Noir.

"Wouldn't you agree?! Noir!!"

Please take the bait! Do your part for world peace! Come on, just say yes!!

Whether the desperation reached him or not, Noir pushed up his monocle and scanned the hologram.

"Hmm… Masat's assessment has merit."

He unclasped the hands he had been holding behind his back and offered Articetia a formal bow.

"Vulgar Mains have no place in Lord Articetia's exalted procession."

Yes! Thank you for taking the bait!

I wrung my hands and laughed like a maniac.

"Hiyohohohot! I agree three hundred percent!"

I craned my neck forward and put on a grin so wide and sunny it could have been painted on a festival mask — a smile that would have put a career salesman to shame.

"Then, as the glorious vanguard of the Mausoleum Temple, will you grant this body permission to cleanse Seoul?!"

I swept my arms wide, as if gathering the entire city into an embrace.

"Give the order, and I shall present you with a perfectly tidy Clean City, all on my own! Kishishishishishit!!"

That was when Durakh Han suddenly surged to his feet. A chain clanked. He hoisted his own head in one hand, and the grin splitting that face was enough to raise the hair on your neck.

"You must still be worn out. Stay here. I'll take this one."

Ah, shit! Don't undercut me from the sidelines — sit back down!

"Are you not the chief of security, Durakh Han?"

I stabbed an index finger at the empty air.

"Then your place is at Lord Articetia's side, guarding her. And if it is I who go, I can minimize the city's destruction with a single finger and present it to the Lord of the Underworld in the finest possible condition. Keeheet!"

I wriggled that finger and smiled with absolute confidence.

Durakh Han and I turned to Articetia at the same time.

"Well! Well, well! What will it be, Lord Articetia!!"

"I shall abide by Lord Articetia's decision."

Articetia rolled her eyes from one of us to the other, then lazily scrawled letters in the air.

Yes! So you hated the cockroaches too, deep down?

"Hiyohohohohot!!"

I spun in a full circle and bent at the waist with gentlemanly grace.

"A most wise decision!"

I straightened and gave my shirt collar a little tug.

"I shall most certainly live up ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to Lord Articetia's expectations! Kishishishit!!"

Right. Things were about to get busy.

I went straight back to the engine room.

"Alpha! Scan every last manhole in Seoul connected to the sewer system, right now!"

Oh… that was more than I expected. Locking onto them one by one and pumping insecticide gas ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠through each would be hopelessly inefficient. I hammered at the holographic keyboard and ran the numbers.

"In that case… it would be far more efficient to simply drop gas bombs."

I held up a finger and muttered to myself.

"Compound a chemical agent. Harmless to humans, and a heavy gas that will sink underground."

A display lit up across the engine room's forward screen.

"Magnificent! I like it enormously!!"

This would take out the Mains hiding under Seoul — and give me an excuse to push the invasion of the human world back to another day. Two birds with one stone.

I let the corner of my mouth crawl up in a lunatic's grin.

"Alpha! Hack every broadcasting network in the Republic of Korea. Right now!"

A warning broadcast, just in case. That way, if the worst happened, the heroes would at least be ready for Articetia's surprise invasion.

All right. Time for a little self-hypnosis.

I am a mad doctor. I am a raving lunatic…

I shot up from the chair, flung both arms as wide as they would go, and roared.

"Today, I become the savior of the Republic of Korea. Hiyohohohohot!!"

I snapped my fingers and pointed straight at the camera in front of me.