Saintess Choi Eunji's Predicament #1

"Hah... Hngh... Slurp... Sluuurp... Hah... Hnngh...!"

How the hell could she devour that mushroom like it was the most delicious thing ever...?

An incredibly obscene scene was unfolding right before my eyes.

It looked like your standard matsutake mushroom. But inside my farmland, I could identify every single plant in the encyclopedia. The info that popped up the moment I took the mushroom from the Saintess:

.....

So, washing it with water makes it just like any normal mushroom, but eating it raw is a total no-go...

Doesn't this so-called Saintess know you can't just pick up and eat random shit from a dungeon? Or was she that starving?

She couldn't even hold her piss, yanking her pants down regardless of who was around, and now she's scarfing down whatever's on the ground because she's hungry? Is she ruled purely by her base instincts?!

Maybe I should've realized something was off the moment she fled into my farmland from the Jam Tigers, relaxed, leaned on my shoulder, and passed out.

Sleep, excretion, hunger... so yeah, that leaves just one more.

Just watching her greedily suck on that phallic-looking matsutake like it was a cock made it clear her final base desire—lust—was kicking in.

Who knew you could shove a matsutake in your mouth and suck it like that. Learner's something new today...

The Saintess's libido had finally awakened. Well, duh, after eating an aphrodisiac mushroom.

Anyway, she's totally lost to one-dimensional pleasure.

Part ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of me wanted to summon Gollum and toss her to the sleeping Jam Tigers as daily rations...

But... that... that expression!

She was staring at me with half-lidded eyes, seductively sucking on the mushroom like she was tempting me, and damn it, I got hard despite myself.

You clueless bitch! I was pissed for my precious little guy, who deserved better.

But how the hell was I supposed to hold back? This was the Saintess, after all. A woman the Vatican rubber-stamped as a saint thanks to her massive healing powers, that sinful ass you could scoop up in one arm, and those swollen, childbearing hips.

Her half-lidded eyes screamed "in heat," and the way she subtly writhed was pure seduction. The slow, teasing sway you'd see in a famous strip show, designed to drive a man insane.

Slurrrp—even that pink, soft-looking tongue, drenched in saliva as it licked the mushroom nonstop!

This felt like the perfect moment to rip off my pants and dive in, but holding back with just a boner? That's only possible for me!

Saintess Choi Eunji was totally zoned out from the aphrodisiac mushroom, but I was perfectly sober.

She gazed at me with those wet, sticky eyes like she was seducing me, but even if she was blatant about it, there are some lines you just don't cross.

I'm just a normal guy—hell, honestly, a naive one with zero resistance to women.

Instead of dropping my pants, I pulled out my phone from my pocket and started filming Choi Eunji as her tongue danced wildly.

'This'll come in handy someday...'

The sight of the Saintess—who always called me a worthless nerd and treated me like dirt—was absolute keeper material.

"Hngh... Schlurp... Sluuurp... Haaah... Mmm... Smack, smack!"

Capturing this lewd scene of the nation's darling Saintess would definitely become a massive weapon someday.

Even if it wasn't leverage, it'd make for prime fap material.

But the moment I pulled out my phone, she slightly turned her head.

Eh...? What the...?

No way... Even in this state, did she still have a shred of humanity left as a Saintess?

Her paparazzi-honed instincts for maintaining that air of mystery must've kicked in. She turned around, sticking her ass toward me as she sat.

Her massive cheeks filled the phone screen.

Seeing it on screen felt way different from the real thing.

Well... back view it is....

Maybe this is even better...

Honestly, it was insane.

Licking that matsutake like a dick was obscene enough, but presenting her ass like that was straight-up degenerate.

Look at those plump, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠milky cheeks. If I grabbed them hard, they'd swallow my fingers whole before spitting them out, all bouncy and firm.

One tight squeeze and release, and red handprints would bloom on that translucent skin. A sharp smack, and they'd ripple like waves.

With idol-level visuals and that body? Total foul play! Add her overpowered healing, and rich dudes from sandstorm countries would beg on their knees just to hold her hand, cash in tow. No money worries for her.

The world sure feels... unfair.

At least capturing Saintess Choi Eunji's bare backside on my crappy old smartphone made me feel a bit blessed.

Forcing a mental victory, I kept filming her.

Even fully tripped out on the aphrodisiac, she'd glance back, avoiding the camera whenever our eyes met through the screen—like a reflex from dodging paparazzi. But who cares if her face isn't clear? It's just for me!

Blackmail? Yeah, right—that wouldn't work on her. With her personality, she'd counter with a one-two punch worse than anything, even if I had her groggy. She'd ignore taps and snap my joints.

That's the Saintess I knew.

The point was storing this sloppy, horny side of her on my phone. My private view of the Saintess's ugly truth. It sent shivers down my spine.

I changed angles, filming away.

She'd sucked it so greedily the mushroom was a sloppy, dripping mess.

Licking up the drool as it trailed down... it was like my little guy was screaming.

You virgin loser! Get me out of here!!!

★ "Hah... shit... why no reaction? Is this guy impotent or something?!"

Yeah, I ate the mushroom because I was hungry. Plants growing wild at the Dungeon Entrance are supposedly edible, so I just chewed it to test the taste, no big deal.

But the moment I swallowed, Choi Eunji knew.

'Th... this... no way, a poison mushroom?!'

I didn't get the full name and description like Ho Tae would. But my body isn't normal.

As a Saintess, healing others isn't my only power.

My strength and stamina suck, but my body might as well have a "Ten Thousand Poisons Immunity" skill. Pain from hits? Sure. But curses or poison? They can't touch me.

If poison seeped in, it'd naturally heal like this. Obvious for a Saintess.

So why was I still acting in heat even after the detox? Simple—I wanted to see what Ho Tae would do.

First ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠off, whip out that thick club bulging against his pants, veins throbbing, and charge at me to ravage me with that massive beast.

Want to get raped? Hell no!

I just wanted him to try, so I could use my skill.

An S-rank healer isn't just about healing.

True to my title, I had one ultimate trump card no one knew about.

I still had that final move.

No one knew about Absolute Defense. Not the government, not the Vatican. My secret ace.

Of course, as an ultimate, it guzzles mana. And 24-hour cooldown after one use. True last resort.

If it got out, America's top Washington Dungeon Exploration Team—leading the world—would pull every string to recruit me.

Naturalize, and they'd grant my every wish.

But I had a huge problem: garbage physical stats.

Healers already have shitty physical stats among awakeners. But S-rank? Should be different. Dungeons should pump your stats fast. That's why high ranks grow quicker.

But mine? Stuck. No growth.

I needed stat-boosting items. Permanent ones from consumption. Just strength and stamina.

And the guy to make them: Ho Tae.

I knew it. Ho Tae was the genius who'd craft game-changing items for this era.

Why? Because of the oracle.