Farmer Ho Tae Dreams of a Bountiful Harvest
Lalala~ Dreaming of a bumper crop, Farmer Ho Tae whistled cheerfully as I created some farmland before heading to the Jam Tiger habitat, the Hill of Good and Evil.
The thought of planting the seeds I'd bought from Farmer Master at the Dungeon Shop had me humming away.
"What... something good happen?"
"Something good happened~ yep~ hehehe~"
"Like what?"
"Not telling!"
Choi Eunji was right up in my grill, glaring as I planted the seeds, probably looking for some excuse to nitpick again. But whatever, let her stare. Seeds from the Dungeon Shop weren't any different from the ones on the market, so she wouldn't have a clue what they were just by looking.
I started by planting the love-hate carrot seeds. Regular carrot seeds went for a few thousand won per packet on the market, but the ones from Farmer Master's collection? Ten thousand won each! I carefully dug holes in the soil and planted them at even intervals. I'd studied up by watching Farmer Master's official Nutter channel, so it wasn't hard. Before, I'd just poked random holes with a stick and dumped them in, and they still grew fine, so this time around, it had to be even better.
Exceeded the maximum plantable amount
↓ Seeds: 50
The sudden alert made me furrow my brow. There was still space for a few more, but this was the first time I'd planted this many, so I hadn't realized there was a limit.
Come to think of it, harvesting was capped at 50 too.
Harvesting was a legit skill I'd gotten upon awakening as a farmer. Once the fruits formed, I didn't have to pick them by hand—just hit the Harvest button that popped up over the farmland, and they went straight to my inventory. But it had a three-hour cooldown per use.
Hand-picking wasn't a hassle anyway. Sure, it'd be tough for hundreds or thousands of pyeong of crops, but mine was just two square meters. In pyeong terms, barely over one pyong—a tiny plot.
Staring at it, it felt pretty modest. At least the number of crops that grew was random regardless of seeds planted, so even with just 50 seeds, I figured I'd harvest over 100 carrots this time.
Last time, 30 carrot seeds gave me 110, and 10 tomato seeds yielded 30...
I could harvest way more crops than seeds planted—like they popped like popcorn—but the downside was one-and-done. Normal farming let you reap fruits and wait for regrowth, but crops on my farmland didn't work that way. Plant, grow, harvest, repeat from seeds every time. Annoying to replant constantly, but with only 12 hours to maturity, it wasn't bad.
For carrots, it matched real life—you replanted seeds each season anyway—so my fast growth made it even better.
Anyway, as I mulled it over, a thought bubbled up: If the Saintess peed on the farmland, they'd grow faster...! Nah... no way I could ask her to do that...
Dungeon runs took over 10 hours on average, so no need to embarrass myself begging.
I did prep for emergencies when she had to go, though...
If she said she needed to go first, maybe, but asking her to pee on my farm? Too weird.
Anyway, I'd blown a ton on seeds this time, so I was greedy for some profitable, effect-loaded crops—mixed with a bit of worry.
Screw it! Farmer Master's seeds are bound to be a hit!
Shaking off the anxiety, I whistled again, covered the seeds with soil, and watered them.
Please... even something like 'penis size up'... time-limited is fine... please!
Stat boosts would be great, but an hour of dick growth would do. Not sure if edible crops even got that, but it was a guy's fantasy.
Any dude would buy out of curiosity, right?
Come to think of it, when Eunji and Chaerin barged in earlier, the sold-out to-carrots from the Dungeon Shop seemed headed for that use... and the buyer's nickname was Sintongbangtongseongryeokttong, yeah...
Ever since getting stranded by those Jam Tigers, good luck had been rolling in. Easy money, my first crop sales...
"Kyaaah! So ticklish~~~"
Even if she seemed a bit dim, having government secret agent Kim Chaerin as bodyguard let me explore dungeons safely. Not bad at all?
★ ♬ Dungeon Exploration with the Saintess♪
Nothing epic about it. The Dungeon Entrance beyond the gate wasn't crawling with deadly monsters. If it were, it wouldn't be a tourist spot.
Even the Jam Tigers that swarmed last time usually stayed away from humans. People approached for their cute looks, and they'd grin and back off. Folks mobbed them for pics more than anything, which was why the 'Jam Tiger Rebellion' caught everyone off guard.
Mostly safe, but some mildly dangerous or harmful monsters lurked—like the dungeon hornets Choi Eunji was flailing at right now.
Fist-sized, with a hornet face but bird wings—a freaky bug. You could hear the flapping from afar, so spotting them was easy.
A sting hurt like hell, but with antidote, it was fine. Association staff handed them out at the zone entrance, and guard posts kept tourists safe—no big incidents.
Just like a tourist spot, the Dungeon Entrance was basically an isekai zoo.
Deeper in were small gates to real dungeons, but stay out, and you're golden.
We had no plans or guts for those anyway, so zero real danger.
That's why Saintess Choi Eunji was safely building dungeon tolerance at the entrance, grinding dungeon hornets for XP where hunting was allowed.
For tourists, it was a sightsee spot; for awakeners, a tutorial to adapt.
Two weeks in with the Saintess, and from my view, she seemed cursed—no stat gains ever. I'd gotten +1 Agility hanging with her.
Kinda pitiful watching her...
Growth stalls make folks desperate, maybe why she's so prickly.
While the Saintess battled one hornet, Kim Chaerin kicked her legs idly on a stump, surrounded by dozens of hornet corpses she'd swatted barehanded just for getting close. I was impressed—total secret agent vibes.
I could smack hornets with a stick, but she didn't even look, just waved them away. Insane.
Does Kim Chaerin really commune with a powerful elf? What's her deal, exactly?
Iris was invisible, so her existence was iffy, but she'd relayed the Jam Tigers gathering over my crops.
Elf or not, Chaerin was chatting with something.
Looking at her yapping at thin air, it didn't seem so weird.
Hmm... naughty panties today...
Leg-kicking flashed them constantly. Not peeking on purpose, but they were there.
Our eyes met, and I startled...
"Hehehe... gotta pee againnnn..."
"......."
Her random 'I gotta pee' threw me. Do normal girls blurt that to anyone? Whatever—she'd already blessed my farm, and I wanted to test if her pee worked too.
"Oh... then let's go quick. I set up a tent around the farmland, so..."
I'd bought a tent before entering—stake it, drape cloth, done. Open roof for sunlight.
"Just use the bathroommm~"
Exactly why I'd set up the tent.
"Bathroom's far and gross."
"It's not... it's cleanmm..."
Dungeon Entrance had toilets everywhere as a tourist spot. Last time was Jam Tiger panic, but normally, you'd go. Korea's bathrooms were world-famous clean... still!
"Too far! Come on!"
I grabbed her wrist firmly and dragged her to the farmland.
"Eek!!!"
She yelped in surprise but toddled after cutely.
To glaring, blushing, axe-eyed Choi Eunji: "Be right back. No dying—catch one at a time!"
Heading to the nearby farmland with Chaerin in tow, I thought: Hope her pee beats the Saintess's holy one.