I Want to Bury My Face and Die

"So this is the first floor of the Tower..."

The moment I stepped inside, a lightless cave and a damp, clinging humidity came out to meet me.

I read a guide for this once, on the Physics Spec-Ops board...

I stayed where I was and quietly started dredging the old memory back up.

"Manageable."

Just like every Tower-climbing novel I'd ever gorged myself on, goblins were supposed to come out batting first. The guide hadn't said anything particular about Ascetic difficulty, but I figured it only meant one or two extra bodies stacked on top of Hard.

"Yeah?"

I listened to the explanation that followed on the status window. According to her, hunters like Gwak Ducheol had committed plenty of sins in ordinary life, which was why the power could come down so hard. The Tower's monsters, though, were beings that had only just been generated. Their evil karma was negligible, and the performance of Holy Spirit Armament dropped off a cliff.

"Well. Shouldn't be that bad anyway."

Even so, she'd told me that thanks to the special class of Saintess, my skills—including Silver Bullet and Holy Fist—were in a different weight class from the ground up. As long as I didn't get careless, even Ascetic difficulty ought to be perfectly clearable.

Grk!

"An enemy?"

Right on cue, a hostile presence prickled right under my nose. I snatched the revolver free and leveled it.

"The hell is that thing."

"Kshaa..."

A goblin dressed like an assassin, hood yanked low, pointed a dagger at me. The guide had said goblins ran around bare, carrying nothing but clubs. Had Ascetic difficulty actually changed the lineup?

The stat buff from Holy Spirit Armament had grown considerably feebler than it had been in the fight with Gwak Ducheol.

Shwik!

Chrrrrk!!!

"Kshik!"

"Huh?"

On top of that, the Assassin Goblin spun the dagger between its fingers in a dazzling blur, as if it were trying to provoke me.

"Kshashashashat!!!"

I only stood there staring, blank, and the goblin looked even more delighted. It flung the dagger up into the air, caught it on its pinky, and showed off a trick of spinning the blade however it pleased.

Bang!

"Dumbass."

"Kshaaak?!"

Of course, once it escalated all the way into juggling and the bit fully brain-rotted, I put a round through its skull and shut ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it up. For all that showing off, it was a pathetic way to go.

"This is more boring than I thought?"

Era—my status window and my patron goddess both—kept her silence, as if the warning she'd bothered to give had come to nothing.

Ding!

"Nnngh..."

Picking a reward was a harder problem than the show-off goblin. Maybe it was just my decision paralysis. I liked all of them, and it was a genuine dilemma.

"Oh, I like that."

The status window had made a pretty decent suggestion, so I accepted on the spot. I could flip the stream on while I was at it. A little backseat coaching from other hunters, and I'd get a feel for what to pick.

"Let's see, the stream settings..."

"Okaaay..."

That person—no, that goddess—definitely knew more about broadcasting than I did. I was better off keeping still.

Beep.

All I did was set my spoon down on the feast the status window had laid out in a heartbeat.

"Is it on...?"

I cocked my head at the broadcast screen, which sat frozen for a long while.

"Kyaa?!"

The chat scrolled up in the blink of an eye, and I startled.

"Th-the chat is way too fast! Just mute everyone who isn't a hunter!"

Wait.

Then did that mean every viewer spewing filth while looking at me was a hunter?

"Gross."

"Ah... yes!"

Instead of letting them drag me around, I answered the chat under the name Dancer and turned the subject elsewhere.

"You can see this reward window, right? I'm a newbie, so I can't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠tell which one's better."

"Hmm..."

Most of them only sounded puzzled. I'd probably have to crack open more of my information. Would that be all right?

"Oh."

I took the status window at her word and got ready to open my specs. And then...

If anything, the viewers' hooks sank in harder than before, a whole clattering rush of them.

"Okay."

If I wanted proper advice, I had to show them properly. I opened the skill window and read each description through.

Even after I'd gone and shown them every skill description, the reactions were still nothing but puzzled.

"What's wrong with them?"

"Waaaaah..."

Somewhere in the middle of the argument, the viewers started hammering their own positions and caught fire.

Uh... what do I do about this?

Don't tell me I just opened a Guild Cup on my own stream.

"Phew..."

Thankfully, my broadcast manager—who also happened to be my status window—plugged the hole before it blew up.

"Got it."

I hadn't really understood at the start, but the advice from hunters who clearly had some experience was slowly giving me a feel for it.

"Number one. Enhance Holy Spirit Armament."

Fwaaat!!!

After gathering every opinion, my choice was the perk that floored evil karma at a minimum of E-rank. In a fight, most of my skills were affected by evil karma, so strengthening Holy Spirit Armament would drag the power of the rest up with it.

"Hehe, thank you."

I gave a little bow to the named viewers who'd helped me choose. If I'd barged in from the start and demanded they pick an option, they might have found it annoying—and yet they'd helped in earnest. It made me a little happy.

"Oh, yeah?"

Strange. They were losing their minds over a single bow. Well, it didn't wear anything out, so what did it matter.

"Thank you once again~"

Jiggle!

"...Which bastard just sent that."

The second time I bowed, a nasty feeling crawled up my spine, and I snapped my eyes toward the chat.

"Ha."

I finally understood why they were acting like that. It was the great lumps of fat that sagged with gravity every time I bent at the waist.

"You shameless pervert bastards."

"Shut up."

Their reactions hit me like a bucket of cold water, and I spat the curse out with my mood gone icy.

"This feels disgusting, so I'm turning the cam around to my back."

The moment anything happened, they'd wallpaper the chat with crude garbage again. I knew that much, so I swung the camera firmly to the rear.

"It's a bit quieter now. I've picked the skill, so I'll get back to climbing the Tower."

Seeing the chat settle somewhat, I smiled faintly and started forward again.

All without ever noticing that the chat was burning even hotter.