Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Failure

While Kim Tae-hyun was busy running a triathlon in the real world, various events were unfolding within Fantasy Online.

"Wait, why... why is Ji-su here?"

"Ah, well... I went to the Salz Kingdom last time to help out during the battle, but by the time I arrived, everyone was already gone..." Yu Ji-soo trailed off, looking thoroughly embarrassed.

Choi Sang-yun, quick on the uptake, immediately grasped the situation.

'Ah, they missed each other!'

Sang-yun looked ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠at Yu Ji-soo with a gaze full of pity. Honestly, looking at Ji-soo's specs alone, she wasn't someone who would fall behind anywhere. Yet, for some reason, everything she did always seemed to miss the mark or go awry. She had a strange knack for making onlookers feel incredibly sorry for her.

'Wait. Come to think of it... is it okay for those two to be together?'

Sang-yun flinched. Now that he thought about it, Lee Da-bi was currently in their party. He worried about what Ji-soo would think when she saw Da-bi.

'She probably knows they're on the same team, and she probably knows they hang out together in Pan-On... but she shouldn't know anything beyond that, right? Still, I doubt she'd feel great about it...'

It would actually be stranger if Ji-soo didn't feel jealous of Da-bi.

'Ji-su isn't a bad kid, but... I hope this doesn't cause any trouble.'

Sang-yun watched Ji-soo with an anxious, tight-lipped expression. How exactly would Yu Ji-soo treat Lee Da-bi?

"Hello there," Ji-soo said.

"Oh, yes. Hello," Da-bi replied.

'Huh? That was surprisingly normal.' Sang-yun tilted his head. Had he been overthinking things?

Next, Ji-soo greeted Cain.

"Hello."

"Uh... hello. Have we met somewhere before...?" Cain tilted his head in confusion. He had actually seen Ji-soo a very long time ago, but because her gear and appearance had changed so drastically, he couldn't recognize her.

Zzzzt—

Sang-yun saw it clearly. For a split second, Ji-soo shot Cain a look brimming with intense jealousy and wariness.

'Wait... is he into... that side?'

I mean, sure, if you watched the broadcasts or tournaments, Cain was always the one clinging closest to Tae-hyun, but still...!

"Alright, let's move!" Kim Tae-san bellowed boisterously.

Even though Tae-hyun was absent, this party lineup was formidable enough to fear absolutely nothing. Every single member was at least a ranker-level player! Unlike Tae-hyun's usual chaotic party compositions, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the group of middle-aged players Tae-san brought along even included an Orc Shaman who could act as a healer.

"You said giant-type monsters appear in the Zaion Mountains, right?"

"Large monsters are tricky to deal with... Our tank is going to have to work hard."

Large monsters were several times bigger than normal players, requiring extreme caution during combat.

Cain let out a heavy sigh. "I know, I know. I'll step up and draw all the aggro, so don't you worry. I just have to endure it, right...?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Why are you trying to do it all by yourself? I'm here too. We can do it together."

The Orc uncles stared at Cain as if he were some kind of weirdo. There was absolutely no reason for a single tank to stand at the front and take a beating all by himself when multiple tanks could easily share the burden.

"..."

Cain's eyes widened. That's right! We can do it together! As the realization washed over him, a sudden wave of deep emotion welled up inside. It hit him just how absurdly high the difficulty of his Fantasy Online life had been up until now!

"Sniff... sob...!"

"Wh-what's wrong with him?"

"Tae-hyun did mention that he's a bit... off in the head."

Normally, people would have quietly backed away. But the Orc uncles were kind-hearted. They didn't shun him just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠because he was a little strange.

"My boy. Your vital energy must be severely depleted. Here, drink this."

"!"

With a deeply moved face, Cain accepted the glass bottle. Inside was a pitch-black, murky liquid. Under normal circumstances, he would have been highly suspicious, but touched by the uncharacteristic warmth of these fatherly figures, Cain gulped it down without even checking what it was.

Gulp, gulp—

"Pffft-cough-ack-gargle-urgh?!"

"Whoa, whoa! That's precious stuff! Don't spit it out!"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"You rascal!"

The Orc uncles quickly grabbed Cain and clamped his mouth shut. Cain, who was desperately trying to spit it out, was forced to swallow the vile concoction.

Looking at the message window, it certainly wasn't a bad item. But still...

'I'd rather drink literal poison!'

He had actually consumed poison before, and it tasted infinitely better than this.

"What on earth is this?!" Cain wheezed.

"Good, isn't it? Keeps you sturdy. No need to thank us."

"Don't get greedy and ask for more, now."

"Who said anything about wanting more—"

"You want more? My, my. I really didn't want to part with another, but... I'd hate to look stingy. Fine, it can't be helped. Here, have another cup. This one is even more concentrated."

"Aaaaargh! Hey! Save me!"

Cain tried to resist, but the Orc uncles' Strength stats were no joke. With several of them pinning him down, he couldn't budge an inch.

Whoosh—

Choi Sang-yun, Jeong Su-hyeok, and Lee Da-bi studiously avoided eye contact and walked ahead. Yu Ji-soo did the exact same!

"I hope we aren't treating Tae-hyun's friend too well," Kim Tae-san mused.

"Sir, that's a bit..."

Sang-yun grimaced at Tae-san's words. Tae-san looked one hundred percent serious.

From behind them, the booming voices of the Orc uncles echoed:

—Drink up, Cain! Seize your destiny!

"You're joking, right?"

"I highly doubt it," Lee Da-bi muttered beside him.

As the guild master of the Power Warrior Guild, she was well aware of the state of Kim Tae-san's territory. If Tae-hyun's territory was a paradise for chefs who could freely use all kinds of luxurious ingredients (funded entirely by Tae-hyun's wallet, of course)...

Kim Tae-san's territory was a living hell ruled by mad chefs who had awakened to the art of Bizarre Cooking.

Bizarre chefs trained under Stau had migrated there one by one, spreading their recipes. Even the Orc uncles, who previously had zero interest in cooking, got hooked after hearing, "Oh? This is good for your health?"

As a result, ninety percent of the food found in the territory was now Bizarre Cooking.

There were a few conscientious, normal chefs like Ju Hyeon-yeong, but they were far too few in number. Consequently, the primary complaint echoing from Kim Tae-san's territory was always about the food.

The Rye Bread eaten by beginners.

It was rock-hard, virtually tasteless, and only eaten out of sheer necessity to stave off hunger. Yet, after enduring the onslaught of various bizarre dishes in the territory, players actually found themselves yearning for that dry bread.

Of course, despite their loud complaints, no one actually left the territory. Aside from the food, the benefits of staying there were simply too good to pass up.

In the end, the players were left with two choices.

They could actively seek out normal food—either by buying it from outside or by waiting in massive, endless lines to buy meals from chefs like Ju Hyeon-yeong.

Or, the other path...

They could simply accept the bizarre food.

The players who had become addicted to bizarre cooking were now acting like water ghosts, desperately trying to drag others down into the abyss with them. It was a terrifyingly infectious trend!

'I'm worried this trend is starting to catch on in the Power Warrior Guild too...' Lee Da-bi thought to herself, shuddering.

Naturally, she had stepped in to stop it with absolute horror. The Power Warrior guild members were supposed to craft and sell food to make a profit; if they started selling bizarre dishes, they would get grabbed by the collar immediately.

"Uuuugh... uuuuuurgh..."

Only after chugging three whole cups was Cain finally released. He stumbled forward, casting a look of pure, venomous resentment at the rest of the group, but everyone quickly averted their eyes.

"You heartless bastards...!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sang-yun whistled.

"Wasn't it good for your health?" Su-hyeok asked innocently.

"You've learned nothing but bad habits from Kim Tae-hyun! Yes, you! You wicked, wicked people. Live like this, and heaven will surely punish you!"

Whoosh—

At that exact moment, a massive shadow loomed over Cain.

"Huh...?"

"U-Up! Look up!" Sang-yun shrieked, pointing a trembling finger.

Cain hurriedly raised his head. A boulder the size of a house was hurtling straight toward him.

"Aaaargh! Why me?!"

"Probably because you're the loudest!"

CRASH!

The boulder slammed violently into the very spot Cain had been standing a split second prior. If he had been even a second slower, he would have been flattened.

"Where did that come from? I don't see anything!"

"Spread out for now! If we stay bunched up, we'll all get wiped out by a single hit!"

As Kim Tae-san unleashed his skills, buffs washed over the entire party. They were highly effective skills, perfectly suited for a commander-type class.

"There are giants up on the mountain!"

"!"

—Tiny intruders! Tiny intruders!

—Throw the rocks! Throw the rocks!

Thud, thud, thud—

Up above, colossal giants peeked over the cliffside and began hurling massive boulders down at them.

"Shoot them! Keep them suppressed!"

Kim Tae-san scanned the area, desperately searching for cover from the aerial bombardment. The path they were on was narrow and straight; if the attacks kept coming from above, they would have no choice but to take the hits.

"Slave's Chain!"

"Huh?"

Cain unleashed his skill toward one of the giants peeking over the edge. With a sharp, metallic rattle, the chain wrapped securely around its target.

In an instant, the massive, towering figure was yanked violently down from the cliff.

CRASH!

—Aaargh! That hurts! That hurts! You tiny pest!

"Shut up! Hey! If you don't stop attacking, I'll slaughter your friend!"

Cain rushed toward the fallen giant, leveling his weapon menacingly as he roared up at the cliffs.

Watching this, Kim Tae-san gasped in admiration. "Wow, that kid is pretty impressive, isn't he?"

However, the rest of the party was equally stunned, albeit for different reasons.

'Wait, Cain is actually capable of that kind of play?'

'Did Cain actually learn how to use his brain?'

'Well, even a stray dog can recite poetry after three years...'

"I said stop attacking! Do you not care if your comrade dies?!" Cain bellowed at the top of his lungs.

He was merely copying what he had seen Tae-hyun do so many times before, but now that he was actually doing it himself, he felt incredibly smug. His shoulders naturally squared.

'Aren't I playing pretty damn cool right now?'

—Tiny pest! Tiny pest! How dare you threaten us!

—We will show no mercy! No mercy!

"Ah..."

Only then did Cain realize. This kind of stunt wasn't something just anyone could pull off!

Swoooooosh—

A barrage of boulders, seemingly twice as numerous as before, came raining down from the heavens.

"Aaaargh! When Kim Tae-hyun flaps his gums, they always do whatever he wants!"

"Cain, you idiot! I take back my admiration!"

The party scrambled, leaping and diving as they sprinted down the path.

Yu Ji-soo drew her bow, nocking several arrows at once. Then, she released.

—Aaargh! My eyes! It hurts so much!

As she repeatedly shot the giants directly in their eyes with pinpoint accuracy, they shrank back, no longer daring to peek over the edge. Thanks to her, the relentless shower of boulders finally ground to a halt.

The party let out a collective sigh of relief as they managed to put some distance between themselves and the cliffs.

"Wow, to actually land those shots from that distance..."

"Incredible!"

"She's way better than Cain!"

"Ugh..."

Cain slumped his shoulders, looking utterly dejected.