Pure Madness
"This is madness. Pure madness." Crunch, crunch. With every single bite, a wave of deep emotion and gratitude washed over him. To think such a kind-hearted young man existed...
Tae-hyun, on the other hand, hadn't put much thought into it. After all, where was the fun in just handing it over? He had only hidden it to play a little prank before giving it to him... but seeing the MC so deeply moved was starting to make Tae-hyun a bit uncomfortable.
Did I take the joke too far? This is actually getting a little creepy. There was a bizarre, overwhelming intensity to watching a grown man tear into a chicken drumstick with tears welling in his eyes.
"I..."
"?"
The MC leaned in, whispering softly so the cameras wouldn't pick it up. "I'm going to make sure you get cast on other shows, Tae-hyun. I've never met anyone as genuine as you!"
"...Give me back my chicken leg."
"?!"
From the MC's perspective, this was a gesture of pure, unadulterated gratitude. If anyone else heard that he was doing this all over a single chicken leg, they would never believe it! But to Tae-hyun, it sounded like an absolute nightmare.
"Everyone, you're all still hungry, right?"
"No, we're stuffed."
"..."
Kim PD's face contorted. The entire premise of this show was to toy with starving cast members!
"For whoever completes this next mission, a luxurious feast and various camping tools await—"
"We're already full, so should we just skip it?"
"Sounds good to me."
At times like this, Tae-hyun and Lee Se-yeon were in perfect sync! Se-yeon smiled and played along with his banter. Look at them, acting like a real couple! the staff thought.
"Ahem, ahem! And that's not all!"
"?"
"Look over there. At that mountain!" The PD pointed toward the mountain rising from the center of the island. It wasn't exceptionally high or rugged, but the trail wound around it in a spiral. Reaching the summit would easily take until nightfall. If we go up there, it'll be pitch black by the time we're done, the cast members muttered among themselves.
"You're not telling us to climb that, are we?"
"Count me out. I'll collapse if I go up there. They barely even fed us..."
"What's the prize anyway?"
"Haha, take a look behind you." *Gulp.* The cast members' eyes widened as they beheld the lavish spread of food and premium camping gear the crew had laid out.
"We've placed a flag at the very top of that mountain. The first person to bring that flag back gets everything you see here! It's an individual mission, completely separate from your teams!"
"...!!"
"Wait, we can't even share it?"
"Well, sharing is up to you, haha." The PD laughed, but everyone knew the truth. In a situation like this, finders keepers! There was no way they would play nice and share. I have to get it first...If I can just grab it...
"And that's not all. If you manage to collect two flags, we will grant you any wish you want!"
"A wish?"
"What kind of wish?"
"Can I ask for a new car?"
"Of course."
"Can I go home early?"
"Absolutely!"
"But you said there's only one flag at the summit. Where's the other one?"
"It's right over there." The PD stretched his arm out, pointing toward the distant horizon. The production crew's ship looked like a tiny speck in the distance.
"...How the hell are we supposed to get all the way out there?"
"By swimming."
"Are you insane?! How is anyone supposed to do that!"
"Come on, it's a wish. A reward like that deserves this level of difficulty," the PD replied with a smug grin. The humiliation he had suffered at the hands of Tae-hyun and Lee Se-yeon seemed to fade, replaced by his usual smug confidence. In reality, getting both flags was impossible. Between the climb up the mountain and the swim out to the ship, the time limit made it a completely impossible task.
"Kim Tae-hyun, should we aim for the one on the mountain... Wait, why are you staring out there? Don't tell me you're actually planning to go?" Lee Se-yeon asked, startled as she saw him gazing at the sea. It was obvious the crew had only added that second flag to tease them.
"I was just doing some quick math."
"Why would you push yourself that hard!"
"They said we could go home early."
"..." Lee Se-yeon's jaw dropped. "Even if we assume you can somehow swim all the way out there... how are you going to get the one on the mountain? There won't be enough time once you get back."
"I have my ways."
"Don't tell me... you're planning to steal it from whoever brings it down?" At Se-yeon's words, Tae-hyun put on a look of genuine surprise.
"Wow, I didn't even think of that. That's a great idea."
"..."
"You're surprisingly wicked, you know that?"
"Quiet, you."
I'm going to show them what I've got! With that burning determination, Choi Chang-seong pushed forward. The fact that everyone was constantly chanting Kim Tae-hyun's name had made him incredibly anxious.
"Pant, pant. Is anyone behind us?"
"Doesn't look like it, sir." Drenched in sweat, Choi Chang-seong scrambled up the mountain path. Looking back, there was no one in sight who could catch up to him. This time, I'm going to crush Kim Tae-hyun and win!
What kind of pro gamer... has better stamina than an actual athlete... ugh... No matter how much he thought about it, Tae-hyun's physical stamina and athletic ability were practically a cheat code. Why on earth was someone with a body like that playing video games? He should have been a professional athlete instead!
Choi Chang-seong glanced over his shoulder. The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. Huh? I thought I saw something... Far out in the ocean, a tiny speck seemed to be moving. But Chang-seong brushed it off and turned back to the path.
"I made it before dark...! I... pant, pant... won!" *Thud!* Chang-seong took his final step onto the summit. However, there was no flag to be found.
"Huh? Is this not the place?"
"No, this is definitely the summit."
"Then why isn't the flag here?"
"I wonder why?"
"...What do you mean, 'I wonder why'?! Call down to the crew and check!" As Chang-seong barked in frustration, the flustered cameraman quickly contacted the base camp.
"Ah, yes. Ah... yes... What? What?! No way, does that even make sense? Ah, I see..."
"Well? What happened?"
"Uh... well... they said Kim Tae-hyun already took it."
"???" For a moment, Choi Chang-seong's brain refused to process the words. "No, that's impossible! There's only one path up here, and I was the first to start and the first to arrive!"
"...They said he climbed straight up the cliff from below..."
"..." Choi Chang-seong's jaw hit the floor.
"Aigo, Tae-hyun! Please come down! If you get hurt, we're ruined!"
"Then why did you make the mission like this in the first place?!"
"That was obviously a joke!"
Ignoring the desperate pleas echoing from below, Tae-hyun put on a flawless display of free solo climbing. It was the exact moment the show transformed into an extreme sports documentary! But he wasn't done yet. While the other cast members, who had rushed over after hearing the news, watched with bated breath, Tae-hyun snatched the flag and climbed right back down. Then, he headed straight for the shore.
"W-where are you going?"
"There's still one more left."
"...!!!"
He had just scaled a sheer cliff face with his bare hands, climbed back down, and now he was going to swim all the way out there? Is he even human?He's completely insane!I know this is a survival show, but how could they bring a monster like that on? The PD is the real problem here.
"S-send a boat after him! Make sure there are no accidents!" Even then, the PD was in denial. Sure, climbing the cliff was dangerous, but the climb itself wasn't impossibly high. Swimming all the way out to the ship, however, seemed completely out of the question—especially when he had to be exhausted. Surely... surely... surely...!!
*Splash.* "Well, 'surely' just bit us in the ass," the MC muttered, his voice echoing like thunder in the PD's ears. Tae-hyun had already climbed aboard the ship and claimed the second flag.
"We have a magnificent feast prepared right here—"
"I want to go home."
"And a state-of-the-art tent and sleeping bag that were released just a few months ago—"
"I want to go home."
"Haha, what a joker... Surely you wouldn't just leave your team behind and go home, right? Lee Se-yeon is here too!" the PD pleaded desperately. He had never imagined in his wildest dreams that Tae-hyun would actually use his wish to go home early! Of course, bringing up Lee Se-yeon was a massive mistake. It only served to annoy Tae-hyun further.
"I don't know why you're bringing up Lee Se-yeon specifically, but..." Tae-hyun glanced back. Lee Se-yeon, Bora, and Ha-yeon were staring intently at him. Bora and Ha-yeon's eyes were filled with anticipation, while Se-yeon wore a look that clearly said, I already know exactly what you're going to say. They were so close they could read each other with a single glance!
"Not my problem. I'm going home."
"..."
And so, Tae-hyun's guest appearance came to an end, leaving a trail of unprecedented chaos in its wake. Even though Kim PD desperately edited and re-edited the footage, the episode was instantly hailed by viewers as one of the greatest of all time.
"D-did he really leave?"
"Do you think he'd fake it? Well, he set everything up before he left, so at least we'll be comfortable."
"Unbelievable... How could he..." Watching Bora struggle to accept reality, Lee Se-yeon offered a warm, knowing smile. I've been there too! Back then, she had confidently told him to join her guild, only for him to basically tell her to screw off and walk away... Wait, thinking about it again is actually making me mad!
"Unni, could you maybe give me Kim Tae-hyun's phone number?"
"Y-you shouldn't go around giving out other people's numbers without their permission." Se-yeon shut her down with a perfectly logical excuse.
"Then I'll just ask the PD."
"..." Ha-yeon, who had been listening from the side, chimed in with a look that said, Why on earth are you interested in a guy like that? "What are you going to say to him?"
"Well, we were on the show together... so I thought I'd use that as an excuse to reach out."
"I don't think that's a very good idea..."
"And I'll ask him to play Pan-On together."
"Actually, that sounds like a great idea." Ha-yeon blurted out without thinking. Ah, wait. I was supposed to stop her. Lee Se-yeon tilted her head in confusion. Asking him to play Pan-On together was a good idea? I highly doubt that...
"Wouldn't asking him to play Pan-On actually be a bad idea?"
"Unni... does it bother you if I get close to Tae-hyun?"
"W-what? What do you mean by that?!" Se-yeon reacted with sheer panic.
"See? I knew it. Ha-yeon unni said..." Se-yeon glared at Ha-yeon with eyes that practically shot sparks. Why did you have to open your big mouth! Ha-yeon, in turn, glared at Bora. Why did you have to bring that up!
"So it's fine if I ask him to play Pan-On, right?"
"No, Pan-On is really not a good idea... Actually, whatever. Do what you want." Se-yeon gave up. Trying to stop her now would only make Bora misunderstand even more. It looks like Ha-yeon filled her head with nonsense... If Bora started thinking, Oh my gosh! Se-yeon unni is trying to keep her boyfriend all to herself! Those articles from before were true!... just the thought of it made Se-yeon shudder.
"Delete."
"Who is this guy? Is it Su Ning? No, the name is Korean. Whatever, delete."
"Delete."
Tae-hyun's phone literally had a spam folder labeled "People Asking to Play Pan-On." It was a category dedicated entirely to messages he would pretend to have never received! In any case, it seemed the broadcast had proceeded smoothly after his departure. Honestly, it would have been stranger if a professional show couldn't run smoothly just because one guest left.
Yeah. And the guys back home should be doing just fine too! Although he had instructed Lee Da-bi to keep an eye on the idiots trying to mess with Cain, Tae-hyun wasn't particularly worried. It was only a few days; what could possibly go wrong? The guys in his guild weren't complete fools. They would handle things on their own!
Opening the door to the team house, Tae-hyun listened for any sounds inside. The absolute silence suggested everyone was currently logged into Pan-On inside their capsules. Good, good. With a reassured smile, Tae-hyun climbed into his own capsule.